Eli: Hey all! Thanks for continuing to read my little story. I hope you are
ready to keep your end of the deal, Unwritten Memoir. Sorry to drive you,
so this one is for you, Chaosti, since you gave me the idea. Enjoy!
Hi, welcome to my world! It's a strange world to be in. I would introduce myself, but I'm not quite sure what my name is. You see, these people call me Andy, baby, brother, son, and wake up call. But mostly, they call me Andrew. So, I guess that is what you can call me.
I live in this really active apartment. What makes it active is the people I live with. I'm pretty sure they are all insane.
The first person here is my mommy. She's the tall one with the brown hair and the things on her chest that give me food. That's why I like her. She also gives me baths and changes me and sings to me and lots of stuff like that. She has this metal thingy on her wrist that glows pretty colors. She also has these things she keeps around her that go BOOM! I know because this man came into our house when he wasn't suppose to and she made it go BOOM! I started crying because it hurt my ears and she rocked me to sleep. Isn't she nice?
Then there's my daddy. He's the tall man with the black hair that clomps when he walks because he has these heavy things on his feet. I don't know why he likes to where those things. He also likes to dress in dark things. He's weird like that. He does all the stuff mommy does for me, except that he doesn't have things on his chest to feed me with, but I like him anyway. Like my mommy, he has things that go BOOM! But he doesn't always have them with him. Instead, he has things that go SWISH! They move slower, but they make red stuff come out when he uses it on people.
So my mommy likes things that go BOOM!, and my daddy likes things that go SWISH!
Also, there's this short one that looks like daddy, but has long, straight hair. They call her Bethany, or Beth. She's the one that calls me Andy. She likes to hold me and she tells me stories. She also likes to dress in dark things, but not as much as daddy. She's really strong. I saw her pick up mommy once, but she got in a lot of trouble. So did my daddy because he laughed. Mommy spilled water down his shirt and then they got really loud till I started crying.
There's also another short one in the house. He looks like mommy, but has really short hair. His name is James, but everyone calls him Jamie. He calls me Andy, too, sometimes. Except when daddy is around, then he calls me Andrew. Why can't these people make up there minds? He likes to give me baths. I think it is mostly so that he can splash mommy. She doesn't like that too much. He's the only one in the apartment that doesn't carry things that go BOOM! or SWISH!
The last thing in the apartment is this small thing that walks on its arms and legs. It has whiskers and this thing above its butt that moves around. They call it Bastet. She's black like daddy's clothes and she likes to look at me. She licked me with her tongue once. It feels all bumpy and rough. I like to pull on the thing that swings around her backside, but she doesn't like that too much.
Oh, here's mommy now. I think it's time for me to eat. Excuse me a few minutes, will you?
~
Much better. I think mommy is very good at feeding me. She must be a feeding expert. Oh, I like my hand. It moves around. I think I will put it in my mouth for now. There we go, right where it belongs.
Yay! Bethany is here! She's looking down from the top of the crib. There's someone with her! Cool! It's the skinny blonde boy. I don't know what his name is, but he is here a lot. He hasn't been here too much lately, though. He used to wear all dark like Beth, but now he doesn't. He still wears some dark, but he also has clothes like mommy and Jamie.
Ooo, the other person is here, too. She's shorter than Beth, and her hair is lighter. She likes all light clothes while Beth likes dark clothes. I like her, too. She holds me sometimes, and she sings to me. I think she really likes me, because I heard her tell that tall man that kinda looks like her that he should have a baby like me. Mommy started laughing. I don't know why having a baby like me is funny, but it sure seems that way.
Oh, they are all going away now. I don't want them to go. I wish that they were like mommy and daddy and would come every time I cried. Oh well.. Hey! Where did my hand go? It was in my mouth, but now it is gone. Oh, there it is. It was resting.
I hear Beth, the blonde boy, the light girl, and Jamie are all making noise. I wonder what they are doing. Will they come get me? One time, Jamie and Beth made all the animals dance above me. It was funny. Especially when the animals started flying at each other and daddy picked Beth and Jamie up by the back of their shirts while they were arguing and carried them into the other room with the box that makes a lot of noise. They were still arguing as he carried them out.
CRASH!
Something has made a nasty sound and I don't like it! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
Good, daddy came and picked me up. We move into the hallway where Beth and Jamie and Blonde boy and Light girl are all speaking at once. Mommy is in the corner shaking her head. They sure are loud.
"We were only playing."
"We thought it would be funner."
"It didn't actually go off, it just hit the clock."
"We're sorry."
Mommy looks very upset. So does daddy.
"You four are well aware that hand grenades are not for playing ball with. No, no, no excuses. You are never supposed to touch any of the weapons, except if you have per mission! Even then, one of us needs to be around so that you don't hurt yourselves! Beth, Dominic, start heading toward the car. You two have no excuse what so ever in this matter. You know how dangerous these things can be. As punishment, you two have extra training today. Go ahead and groan, it will not help any. Teresa, go with them. I'm taking you home first and will let your father deal with your punishment. As for you, Jamie, your room better be clean by the time we get home, or else I'm taking away your game boy."
Beth, Jamie, Blonde boy, and Light girl all look sad. But if they made daddy loud, they must have done something bad. I wonder what a hand grenade is. Does it go in your hand? Is that what made the nasty sound?
Daddy put me back in my crib. I'm glad that's over. Oh, no. Daddy says it is time for me to sleep now. But I don't want to * yawn * sleep. Well, maybe I should * yawn * sleep. All right, good-bye weird people. I hope my insane family amuses you.
Because they sure do amuse me. * ZzzzzZzzzzZzz *
Coming Attractions:
Why Do We Say Good-bye?
Hi, welcome to my world! It's a strange world to be in. I would introduce myself, but I'm not quite sure what my name is. You see, these people call me Andy, baby, brother, son, and wake up call. But mostly, they call me Andrew. So, I guess that is what you can call me.
I live in this really active apartment. What makes it active is the people I live with. I'm pretty sure they are all insane.
The first person here is my mommy. She's the tall one with the brown hair and the things on her chest that give me food. That's why I like her. She also gives me baths and changes me and sings to me and lots of stuff like that. She has this metal thingy on her wrist that glows pretty colors. She also has these things she keeps around her that go BOOM! I know because this man came into our house when he wasn't suppose to and she made it go BOOM! I started crying because it hurt my ears and she rocked me to sleep. Isn't she nice?
Then there's my daddy. He's the tall man with the black hair that clomps when he walks because he has these heavy things on his feet. I don't know why he likes to where those things. He also likes to dress in dark things. He's weird like that. He does all the stuff mommy does for me, except that he doesn't have things on his chest to feed me with, but I like him anyway. Like my mommy, he has things that go BOOM! But he doesn't always have them with him. Instead, he has things that go SWISH! They move slower, but they make red stuff come out when he uses it on people.
So my mommy likes things that go BOOM!, and my daddy likes things that go SWISH!
Also, there's this short one that looks like daddy, but has long, straight hair. They call her Bethany, or Beth. She's the one that calls me Andy. She likes to hold me and she tells me stories. She also likes to dress in dark things, but not as much as daddy. She's really strong. I saw her pick up mommy once, but she got in a lot of trouble. So did my daddy because he laughed. Mommy spilled water down his shirt and then they got really loud till I started crying.
There's also another short one in the house. He looks like mommy, but has really short hair. His name is James, but everyone calls him Jamie. He calls me Andy, too, sometimes. Except when daddy is around, then he calls me Andrew. Why can't these people make up there minds? He likes to give me baths. I think it is mostly so that he can splash mommy. She doesn't like that too much. He's the only one in the apartment that doesn't carry things that go BOOM! or SWISH!
The last thing in the apartment is this small thing that walks on its arms and legs. It has whiskers and this thing above its butt that moves around. They call it Bastet. She's black like daddy's clothes and she likes to look at me. She licked me with her tongue once. It feels all bumpy and rough. I like to pull on the thing that swings around her backside, but she doesn't like that too much.
Oh, here's mommy now. I think it's time for me to eat. Excuse me a few minutes, will you?
~
Much better. I think mommy is very good at feeding me. She must be a feeding expert. Oh, I like my hand. It moves around. I think I will put it in my mouth for now. There we go, right where it belongs.
Yay! Bethany is here! She's looking down from the top of the crib. There's someone with her! Cool! It's the skinny blonde boy. I don't know what his name is, but he is here a lot. He hasn't been here too much lately, though. He used to wear all dark like Beth, but now he doesn't. He still wears some dark, but he also has clothes like mommy and Jamie.
Ooo, the other person is here, too. She's shorter than Beth, and her hair is lighter. She likes all light clothes while Beth likes dark clothes. I like her, too. She holds me sometimes, and she sings to me. I think she really likes me, because I heard her tell that tall man that kinda looks like her that he should have a baby like me. Mommy started laughing. I don't know why having a baby like me is funny, but it sure seems that way.
Oh, they are all going away now. I don't want them to go. I wish that they were like mommy and daddy and would come every time I cried. Oh well.. Hey! Where did my hand go? It was in my mouth, but now it is gone. Oh, there it is. It was resting.
I hear Beth, the blonde boy, the light girl, and Jamie are all making noise. I wonder what they are doing. Will they come get me? One time, Jamie and Beth made all the animals dance above me. It was funny. Especially when the animals started flying at each other and daddy picked Beth and Jamie up by the back of their shirts while they were arguing and carried them into the other room with the box that makes a lot of noise. They were still arguing as he carried them out.
CRASH!
Something has made a nasty sound and I don't like it! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
Good, daddy came and picked me up. We move into the hallway where Beth and Jamie and Blonde boy and Light girl are all speaking at once. Mommy is in the corner shaking her head. They sure are loud.
"We were only playing."
"We thought it would be funner."
"It didn't actually go off, it just hit the clock."
"We're sorry."
Mommy looks very upset. So does daddy.
"You four are well aware that hand grenades are not for playing ball with. No, no, no excuses. You are never supposed to touch any of the weapons, except if you have per mission! Even then, one of us needs to be around so that you don't hurt yourselves! Beth, Dominic, start heading toward the car. You two have no excuse what so ever in this matter. You know how dangerous these things can be. As punishment, you two have extra training today. Go ahead and groan, it will not help any. Teresa, go with them. I'm taking you home first and will let your father deal with your punishment. As for you, Jamie, your room better be clean by the time we get home, or else I'm taking away your game boy."
Beth, Jamie, Blonde boy, and Light girl all look sad. But if they made daddy loud, they must have done something bad. I wonder what a hand grenade is. Does it go in your hand? Is that what made the nasty sound?
Daddy put me back in my crib. I'm glad that's over. Oh, no. Daddy says it is time for me to sleep now. But I don't want to * yawn * sleep. Well, maybe I should * yawn * sleep. All right, good-bye weird people. I hope my insane family amuses you.
Because they sure do amuse me. * ZzzzzZzzzzZzz *
Coming Attractions:
Why Do We Say Good-bye?