I never knew Sephiroth clones were so high maintenance. You need to help

them to everything. That, and the fact he keeps calling me LORD CLOUD. Like I'm

some lord..It'd be cool if I was lord. I'd like..behead people for saying my shoes look

like smurf clothes. It'd be cool. I'd especially make sure that Tifa and her silicone

boobie billboards explode. Oh yes, how unfair advantages and all mighty power

would change my life. Lets go back to Piffy. He was sleeping, the last time I saw him.

And apparently I was wrong with that, because I just heard a gigantic crash in the

kitchen.

I sat up, away from the television (*Oh..Oh..MY BUTT! MY BUTTTT!! ALIENS

ARE PROBING MY BUTTTT!!*), and headed into the kitchen. It was the Wutain

War all over again. That, and the microwave exploded, and he stove was on fire.

" MIGHTY FUCK!!! PIFFY!! " There lay Piffy, who writhed, and began to shake un

controllably. I grabbed him by the arm, and threw him out the open window. Opening

up the closet, I whipped out a handy-dandy fire extinguisher. " I never thought I'd

have to use this!! DIE, FLAMES OF HELL! " I screamed, drenching the fire in the

foamy like stuff from the fire extinguisher. I tossed the empty thing away, now that

the flames died down. Really, if they didn't, I would of resorted to like..beating the

flames with the extinguisher. I climbed out the window, and picked up Piffy by the

back of his shirt. " Just what were you doing, setting my house on fire? TALK!

Are you under Sephiroth's control? You're probably Sephiroth, aren't you!? AREN'T YOU! "

I shook him lightly. " YOU FIEND!!! "

" .. m..mas...master c..loud.. " I heard him whisper. " .. ..on..nly..trying to..make..

breafast..for..for you.. "

Breafast...Oh. I sorta jumped to a conclusion, now didn't I? Mehe. " Oh..

Uh.. well, Lets go to the resturant instead. " I couldn't add on the part, 'Because

you completely destroyed the kitchen.'. So I carried him off to the resturant, where

we got a seat. I got a menu, and began to skim through it. " Hmm..Babies, they're

chewable..ehh..Meat platter..It has REAL meat in it.. No way.. " I glanced over at

Piffy, who leaned back, drool flowing out of his mouth like a river. What the fuck?

I walked over to Piffy, and tipped him forward. " Uh.. "

The classical music had stopped. All eyes were on me. Well, me, or Piffy.

I glared. " HEY! You better all turn your heads, before I decide to unleash my

UNHOLY WRATH apon your MEATY HEADS. " ... Yeah, the fire smoked my brain.

I'm screwed up. It's like I'm high without the drugs. I sat back down, and the waiter

approached.

" What will you be having? " He asked, staring at me. The waiter suddenly

began to get closer, until he was pratically in my face. " WHAT WILL YOU HAVE!?

WHAT!?! TELL ME!! " I screamed, trying to shove him back, but he only grabbed

me by the scruff of my shirt, and shoved me down into the seat. " WHAT THE

FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO ORDER, YOU DAMN BASTARD?!?!!! TELL ME!!

TELL ME OR I'LL GIVE YOU A SATANIC HEAD BITEY!!!! "

" JESUS CHRIST!! " I exclaimed, struggling to shove the mentally derranged

waiter away from me. He snarled, foam streaming down his face, plicketing onto

my shirt.

" THAT IS NOT ON THE MENU!!! NO FOOD FOR YOU ON THIS MORNING!! "

Screamed the waiter, banging my head off the hard seat. Piffy just seemed too intent

drooling another ocean. Even if he did notice, he couldn't do anything anyway. Kneeing

the stupid fucked up waiter in the gut, I grabbed Piffy by his shirt, and dragged him into

the nearest exit--which wasn't an exit at all. It was to the bathroom. I groaned inwardly,

sitting in the sink.

" This is so fucked up. " I murmured, running a hand through my hair. Suddenly,

a noise caught my attention. I glanced up, and scrunched my nose in disgust. Like I

needed to hear some constapated guy in the stall.

(Arrghhh..)

" ..... " I raised a slick blond brow.

( ... Ahh.. )

" Well, that's good. " I sighed. Really, it was. I wasn't going out of the bathroom

to face that waiter, nor was I going to sit in here and listen to that guy. I leaned back

against the glass, before the noise started up again.

(ERAAGGHH!!)

" Eragh..? What the fu--" I was cut off, by more screaming.



(OH GOD!.GOD NO!!! AAHHH!!! )

Suddenly disgusting, watery, bloody crap (literally) splashed out of the stall. I

screamed, my face twisting in utter horror. " FUCKING SHIT!! LITERALLY! " I grabbed

Piffy from off the floor, and stood there, holding him, as the shit-blood-water began

to sweep all along the floors. I looked back at the stall.

( ARRRTRGHAAERAAGHHH!! )

Suddenly the man's legs were hanging up in the air, crap flying everywhere.

I screamed again. I heaved Piffy over my head, ran out the door. Ran out of the

resturant. Infact, I didn't stop running until I got home, where I locked the door five

times and shut all the windows. I sat back onto the couch, looking at the clone,

then to the television. " I really fucking think.. there is something wrong with this world."

____________________

Thanks for the reviews (The mighty two!). :D I honor thee. There is a major reference here,

see if you can find it. XD Please review! Tell me what you want to happen next! :Lights a

cigarette, leans back: Talk to me! :D