I guess that is all that people see me as.
Cheerful. Witty. Loving.
The same way that I always do
This is / the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake
Of being with you
For seventeen years, I continued to pretend and don a mask that everyone has been fooled by. And after seventeen years, I can almost feel that porcelain on my face beginning to crack.
The pilgrimage was one thing that I hoped would take my mind off of things. Why we were often shunned by the people of Spira and how everyone is punished because it was our fault. Yes, blame it on the Al-Bhed because we want to fight Sin too.
It's not fair that Yunie always gets the praise when the people who work so hard die in the background..their efforts forgotten. She's half Al-Bhed yet no one hates her for helping Spira.
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Then Tidus left and we excavated for more spheres. I was the one who found the sphere. That I believed Tidus was trapped somewhere and that we had to free him as fast as possible. Wakka didn't want Yunie to go along on this expedition...but why must she get all the attention?
She wasn't the one who defeated Sin! I did too! And Tidus and Lulu and Wakka and Auron and Kimahri so why is it that Yuna is the one dancing with fame?!
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Then we saved the world once more. From Shuin and the Vegnagun. I didn't think I would need the mask anymore, so I took it once more in my hands and smiled with that masked joy and pretended bliss.
It's so strange how one can play so many roles. I can pretend to be the sunshine of the Al Bhed. I can pretend to be your worst enemy, I can even pretend to be alright.
Every time I look at those shining, red daggers...just waiting for me to cut something with them..I feel myself tremble. Yes..I am selfish. I want fame and glory for what I've done. I expect it because I'm doing something to help this world.
Twice a day, I cut my arm and hide it under the lovely ornaments that cover my skin. Twice I've worn this mask and twice I went on this journey for my own personal sake. And twice, I saved Spira.
So why does everyone not know who I am?
This is the last time
Why am I just "another Al Bhed"? Why must I still pretend to be the hyper, giggly, and cheerful Al Bhed? And why must I always end up like a depressed psycopath whenever I'm alone? Why must I keep pretending?
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find
We're out of time left
To watch it all unwind
No. No one must know about these scars underneath those ribbons. Yuna's gotten stronger now those past two years. She wants to fight for herself, be a little more famous and reunite with Tidus again.
I still keep pretending to act like I care, that I'm suppose to care because I'm her cousin. But all I am really is a jealous demon hidden beneath an angelic mask that no one can see through. Not even Tidus can see through it.
It took fifteen years to perfect this mask and the only one that can see right through it is me. I am the only one that can see the tiny imperfections and the cracks that are beginning to form. At some point, I know I'll break down.
But for now, I'll keep pretending. I may not care, but Yuna does. I may strongly dislike her, however, I definitely don't want to see her and Tidus weep over my distraughted mind. She would only make me feel guilty about lying.
I feel the daggers drop to the floor as I stare into the mirror. The mask has fallen. Damn. I can't believe I'm crying after all of this.
I guess I do care about her after all.
~Owari~
Disclaimer: Square Enix owns FFX and FFX-2. They own Yuna, Tidus, Rikku, and you all :P~!