Rhan rose from a deep dreamless sleep. As she slowly rose back into
consciousness, the memories of the past night came flooding back into her
mind. Her mother!
Her sense of touch returned. The soft crisp sheets around her and the unusually soft mattress caused her to panic. Where was she? How was her mother? Where was her father? Dozens of thoughts pounded her head at the same time, making no sense and causing her head to pound slightly under the weight.
Pushing herself up quickly with a sharp intake of breath, she forced open her eyes and black blurs filled her vision. There was a rustle of robes and a pair of strong arms clamped onto her shoulders, pushing her back down. Rhan screamed, shocked at this sudden action, her mind jumping to all sorts of conclusions.
The sudden impact of arms on her body cleared any remaining sleepiness she had from her brain. Now wide awake, although only being able to see shadows through the darkness, she raised her arms and fought against her captor, digging her nails into the pale skin of their arms, desperately trying to free herself from these two weights keeping her pinned to the bed. Clawing down these arms again and again, she felt the muscles underneath her prying fingers tense.
Severus clenched his jaw as she dug her nails deep into his skin. *If I had known she was going to be this much hassle, I would have left her be!* He thought angrily. *Yeah, right. Just like you were going to leave her last night?* His mind argued. Shaking his head at his own folly he concentrated on calming her down.
"Rhan."A deep voice filled her hearing. "Rhan relax, it's Severus." Rhan stopped for a moment as she allowed these words to sink in. Severus? She thought dropping her arms. It couldn't be! Where were the harsh cold sinister words? The voice dripping with sarcasm and mocking?
She lay still, silently trusting the voice and felt one of the arms being removed from her shoulders. Bright sunlight filled the room as the thick curtains were magically opened.
Blinking a few times, Rhan focused on the man holding her down. It was indeed non other than Severus Snape, her Potions Master. Her eyes flashed down to his arms and saw small streams of blood trickling down his arms. She blushed.
"I'm sorry, I thought you were-" She stopped mid sentence and shook her head. *My father* She thought. "Someone else." Her voice was barely above a whisper. *The one man who I respected and looked up at. The one man who had.*
Rhan closed her eyes and refused to think of the next three words. The three words which would mean admitting what she saw last night was true. If she didn't admit them, if she didn't believe them, then there was a chance that her mother might be alive, that everything last night was all just a horrible nightmare regardless of where she was or who she was with.
She pulled the covers back over her head, blocking out the light, blocking out the truth. *It did not happen* She thought, despite the memories of talking to Dumbledore, watching him talk as the bobble on the end of his night cap bounced. *It wasn't true, it didn't happen* She refused to believe it regardless of the picture she could not wipe from her mind.
Snape making quite sure that Rhan was not going to jump up and attack him again, released his other arm and returned to his chair in silence, contemplating what she had just said. He rubbed his arms and wiped the blood onto his black robes.
Rhan giggled, after all that had happened last night she couldn't help but giggle at Dumbledore's stupid nightcap. It was a strained giggle at that, but it was a giggle, enough of a giggle to make Severus give her a worried look.
Pushing away the heavy covers, Rhan picked up her bag and opened a door which she presumed lead to the bathroom, ignoring her professor. The way he had acted around him confused her. Turning on the shower she pulled off last nights clothes and slipped under the cool water.
Closing her eyes she let the water run over her, cleansing her entire body, washing away the dirt and all her thoughts with it. Stepping out from the shower, the coolness of the air hit her and enveloped her. This encased her heart; it cooled her mind and her emotions. She would wear this coldness, she would show her father.
She wrapped a towel around her body decisively, refusing to look at her reflection in the full-sized mirror. She couldn't face the twisting scars and crisscrossing cuts, not this morning.
Pulling on a long-sleeved shirt and trousers, she ran a shaking hand through her hair. A single tear rolled down her cheek, alone and solitary, just like her.
Severus stood up as she walked back in, giving her a serious look. She stared at the floor, not being able to bring herself to look into his eyes.
"Are you ok?" His voice was soft yet still managed to penetrate through the silence between them like a knife.
"What time is it?" She asked, as if deliberately trying to change the subject. Severus looked at her for a moment, deciding whether or not it was wise to keep inquiring about her well being.
"Just after nine,"
Rhan nodded and walked over to the door. Gripping the door handle, half of her wanted to scurry under the bed sheets and hide away from the light, away from Professor Snape's searching eyes and most of all away from her father. She hated this part of her, yet it beckoned to her.
The other half of her wanted to run screaming out into the world and find her father. She wanted to hit him, punch him, and cause him the pain he had caused her and her mother. She wanted to kill him yet she wanted him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be right. This infuriated her. She longed for the long summer nights when her father would take her into his strong arms and read to her. She craved the security and safety she used to feel whilst she was with him. Before the alcohol, before the shouting and screaming, before the fighting and the thrashing.
Lowering her head for a brief moment, Rhan felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around, and looked up at Snape. The vision of him blurred as she felt her eyes fill with tears. Blinking them away, she cast her vision to the floor. A cool draft hit her face and reminded her of that decisive moment in the bathroom. Avoiding Snape's eyes, she turned and opened the door, pushed the painting open and walked down the hall.
She pushed open the doors to the Great Hall and walked in. As usual during the holidays, the house tables had vanished and in their place stood a single table.
Already seated around it, was Dumbledore, McGonagall, and a few other students she didn't recognise. The conversations had stopped and everyone had turned to look at the latecomers.
Rhan could see the surprise on Dumbledore's face and that gave her a spark of confidence. Dumbledore searched out her eyes, and Rhan met his with a steady gaze almost daring him to say something. He said nothing only pulled out two seats next to him which she and Snape took.
Food appeared on her plate but she just pushed most of it around. Suddenly her hunger had vanished and she was left with the staring faces of the students and teachers around her.
"Rhan," Professor McGonagall said, "When did you arrive?"
Rhan looked up at her, "Last night," She said coolly, with an emotionless face to rival Snape's.
McGonagall nodded shocked at the coldness Rhan have emitted. The idle chit chat had started up again and people continued to make polite conversation with her. The only person not striking up conversation was Snape. *No difference there* she thought as she poked at a fried egg.
The noise filled the room. It was so normal, so unaffected by what happened last night. Her face screwed up, as she concentrated hard on not to cry.
"Ms Mackenzie, I had a delivery yesterday morning. I was wondering whether you would help me sort it out." Professor Snape asked stiffly.
Rhan glanced up and accepted quickly, her voice shaking slightly.
"When ever you are ready," He said, his voice cold.
Rhan pushed away her plate and they both rose and left the Great Hall. Once walking briskly along to corridors down into the dungeons, Rhan stopped abruptly causing Severus to halt as well.
"What is it Ms Mackenzie?" He asked seeming impatient.
"Thank you,"
Her sense of touch returned. The soft crisp sheets around her and the unusually soft mattress caused her to panic. Where was she? How was her mother? Where was her father? Dozens of thoughts pounded her head at the same time, making no sense and causing her head to pound slightly under the weight.
Pushing herself up quickly with a sharp intake of breath, she forced open her eyes and black blurs filled her vision. There was a rustle of robes and a pair of strong arms clamped onto her shoulders, pushing her back down. Rhan screamed, shocked at this sudden action, her mind jumping to all sorts of conclusions.
The sudden impact of arms on her body cleared any remaining sleepiness she had from her brain. Now wide awake, although only being able to see shadows through the darkness, she raised her arms and fought against her captor, digging her nails into the pale skin of their arms, desperately trying to free herself from these two weights keeping her pinned to the bed. Clawing down these arms again and again, she felt the muscles underneath her prying fingers tense.
Severus clenched his jaw as she dug her nails deep into his skin. *If I had known she was going to be this much hassle, I would have left her be!* He thought angrily. *Yeah, right. Just like you were going to leave her last night?* His mind argued. Shaking his head at his own folly he concentrated on calming her down.
"Rhan."A deep voice filled her hearing. "Rhan relax, it's Severus." Rhan stopped for a moment as she allowed these words to sink in. Severus? She thought dropping her arms. It couldn't be! Where were the harsh cold sinister words? The voice dripping with sarcasm and mocking?
She lay still, silently trusting the voice and felt one of the arms being removed from her shoulders. Bright sunlight filled the room as the thick curtains were magically opened.
Blinking a few times, Rhan focused on the man holding her down. It was indeed non other than Severus Snape, her Potions Master. Her eyes flashed down to his arms and saw small streams of blood trickling down his arms. She blushed.
"I'm sorry, I thought you were-" She stopped mid sentence and shook her head. *My father* She thought. "Someone else." Her voice was barely above a whisper. *The one man who I respected and looked up at. The one man who had.*
Rhan closed her eyes and refused to think of the next three words. The three words which would mean admitting what she saw last night was true. If she didn't admit them, if she didn't believe them, then there was a chance that her mother might be alive, that everything last night was all just a horrible nightmare regardless of where she was or who she was with.
She pulled the covers back over her head, blocking out the light, blocking out the truth. *It did not happen* She thought, despite the memories of talking to Dumbledore, watching him talk as the bobble on the end of his night cap bounced. *It wasn't true, it didn't happen* She refused to believe it regardless of the picture she could not wipe from her mind.
Snape making quite sure that Rhan was not going to jump up and attack him again, released his other arm and returned to his chair in silence, contemplating what she had just said. He rubbed his arms and wiped the blood onto his black robes.
Rhan giggled, after all that had happened last night she couldn't help but giggle at Dumbledore's stupid nightcap. It was a strained giggle at that, but it was a giggle, enough of a giggle to make Severus give her a worried look.
Pushing away the heavy covers, Rhan picked up her bag and opened a door which she presumed lead to the bathroom, ignoring her professor. The way he had acted around him confused her. Turning on the shower she pulled off last nights clothes and slipped under the cool water.
Closing her eyes she let the water run over her, cleansing her entire body, washing away the dirt and all her thoughts with it. Stepping out from the shower, the coolness of the air hit her and enveloped her. This encased her heart; it cooled her mind and her emotions. She would wear this coldness, she would show her father.
She wrapped a towel around her body decisively, refusing to look at her reflection in the full-sized mirror. She couldn't face the twisting scars and crisscrossing cuts, not this morning.
Pulling on a long-sleeved shirt and trousers, she ran a shaking hand through her hair. A single tear rolled down her cheek, alone and solitary, just like her.
Severus stood up as she walked back in, giving her a serious look. She stared at the floor, not being able to bring herself to look into his eyes.
"Are you ok?" His voice was soft yet still managed to penetrate through the silence between them like a knife.
"What time is it?" She asked, as if deliberately trying to change the subject. Severus looked at her for a moment, deciding whether or not it was wise to keep inquiring about her well being.
"Just after nine,"
Rhan nodded and walked over to the door. Gripping the door handle, half of her wanted to scurry under the bed sheets and hide away from the light, away from Professor Snape's searching eyes and most of all away from her father. She hated this part of her, yet it beckoned to her.
The other half of her wanted to run screaming out into the world and find her father. She wanted to hit him, punch him, and cause him the pain he had caused her and her mother. She wanted to kill him yet she wanted him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be right. This infuriated her. She longed for the long summer nights when her father would take her into his strong arms and read to her. She craved the security and safety she used to feel whilst she was with him. Before the alcohol, before the shouting and screaming, before the fighting and the thrashing.
Lowering her head for a brief moment, Rhan felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around, and looked up at Snape. The vision of him blurred as she felt her eyes fill with tears. Blinking them away, she cast her vision to the floor. A cool draft hit her face and reminded her of that decisive moment in the bathroom. Avoiding Snape's eyes, she turned and opened the door, pushed the painting open and walked down the hall.
She pushed open the doors to the Great Hall and walked in. As usual during the holidays, the house tables had vanished and in their place stood a single table.
Already seated around it, was Dumbledore, McGonagall, and a few other students she didn't recognise. The conversations had stopped and everyone had turned to look at the latecomers.
Rhan could see the surprise on Dumbledore's face and that gave her a spark of confidence. Dumbledore searched out her eyes, and Rhan met his with a steady gaze almost daring him to say something. He said nothing only pulled out two seats next to him which she and Snape took.
Food appeared on her plate but she just pushed most of it around. Suddenly her hunger had vanished and she was left with the staring faces of the students and teachers around her.
"Rhan," Professor McGonagall said, "When did you arrive?"
Rhan looked up at her, "Last night," She said coolly, with an emotionless face to rival Snape's.
McGonagall nodded shocked at the coldness Rhan have emitted. The idle chit chat had started up again and people continued to make polite conversation with her. The only person not striking up conversation was Snape. *No difference there* she thought as she poked at a fried egg.
The noise filled the room. It was so normal, so unaffected by what happened last night. Her face screwed up, as she concentrated hard on not to cry.
"Ms Mackenzie, I had a delivery yesterday morning. I was wondering whether you would help me sort it out." Professor Snape asked stiffly.
Rhan glanced up and accepted quickly, her voice shaking slightly.
"When ever you are ready," He said, his voice cold.
Rhan pushed away her plate and they both rose and left the Great Hall. Once walking briskly along to corridors down into the dungeons, Rhan stopped abruptly causing Severus to halt as well.
"What is it Ms Mackenzie?" He asked seeming impatient.
"Thank you,"