Disclaimer: The great J. K. Rowling owns all...I own nothing. :) I get no money from this...just fun!
AN: *cries like a baby* IPOMG is finally finished! I'm kinda sad it's ending, but it means I will be starting my new story, which is gonna be cool. :) Please Katie, keep my secret! Anyway, let me see...there is a MAJOR OOTP SPOILER below...I actually tell who dies, so if you don't know, don't wanna know, don't read paragraphs 14,41, or 42. Don't blame me if you read it!! It's your choice to read this, I didn't force ya! LOL Hmm...I have to dedicate the sex scene to Brittney, because she wanted one bad. Thanks to Stefanie, who wrote me the sweetest e-mail! :) Thanks sweetie!! The song below is called "Made For You", and yes, I did write it, so please don't use it without my permission(as if you wanted to, eh? LOL). If you want to know how the song goes, I have a wave of it on my website, so here is the URL to listen: {{Http://www.geocities.com/MoonlightDiva1981/made1.mp3}} Let's see how many people know what MacGyver is. LOL Oh, and Barney belongs to whatever company that owns him, blah blah blah I wish I could kick that stupid thing...Oh, you're still here, righto...Sorry. Anyway...I really hope you guys liked this story. Laughter(and da warm fuzzies!) is the best medicine, so hopefully if you are down, or going through a bad time, this will help you feel a little bit better. :) It's been great writing this story...look for my next one, which will be even stupider, and sillier. LOL I'm gonna start writing it very soon. Now without further ado, Here is the last chapter of "In Pursuit of Miss Granger."
Chapter Ten: In Pursuit of Mr. Weasley
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Hermione threw herself onto her bed and screamed into her pillow. Ron was such an idiot sometimes! First he yelled that he loved her to all the Hogwart's ground, and now he had embarrassed her in front of the teachers, the students, and her friends! How much more could a girl take? It was obvious that Ron wouldn't give up on her no matter how much she protested, but something inside her still wanted to be compensated for the damage he had caused. The boy was like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest! To her horror, she started to dream up other embarrassing things he would do to her. He would beg her to forgive him night and day, never letting her have any sleep. He would tie a banner on his broom stick that stated his feelings and ride around with it during Quidditch matches. He would start to follow her to her classes, the bathroom, even -- she shivered as she gave it thought -- the library. She would never know any peace!
There was a loud knock on her door. She removed her face from the pillow long enough to yell "WHAT!?" before resuming her pity party. Praying that it wasn't Ron, she laid her face back down in the pillow, wondering how long it would take to smother herself to death. No, it was better to live, she supposed. Ron would probably find her in death and produce a choreographed Broadway number in front of Saint Peter, complete with dancing walruses and exploding fireworks from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, compliments of his loving brothers, Fred and George.
She groaned slightly as she heard the door open. "Hermione? Are you alright?" Hermione sighed in relief. It was only Ginny. She rolled onto her back, hugging the pillow to her chest.
"Yes, Ginny, I'm alright. A tad embarrassed, but other than that, just peachy."
She felt Ginny sit down on her bed as she continued to stare at her ceiling. Ginny cleared her throat, waiting a moment before stating, "Ron loves you."
Hermione threw her hands up, "No, really? Hadn't noticed. Wait. Do you suppose THAT was what he was trying to say when he created that embarrassing display in the great hall? What a silly girl I am not to notice! Ron LOVES me! Oh, what a joyous day indeed, for-"
"Oh, bugger off Hermione!" Ginny laughed loudly, shaking her head. "Enough sarcasm for today. I was just a bit shocked, that's all. You told me he said so to Seamus, but I figured it was all just a load. What he did downstairs just proves he really wants to be with you."
"Ginny, did you come here to lecture me? I know he wants to be with me, but really, he's a bit of a prat! He thinks that if he makes it so everything is out in the open, everything is out for everyone else to see, that I'll just run back and say, 'Oh Ron! Now that the entire school knows you love me and you've made a fool out of us both, I'm yours forever!' It doesn't work that way. I deserve respect, and if he respects me, at least he could have the decency to do all this in private. I don't like my feelings to be on display." She sat up and stared at Ginny, who was nodding fiercely. "I'm not sure where to go with this. I love him, he loves me, we should be happy! But no. He HAD to make a bet to bed me. He HAD to throw a fit and insult me when he found out I knew. It's all ridiculous!"
"If he had never made that bet, you would never have known each others feelings, Hermione. You would never have known he loves you as well." Ginny pointed out.
Hermione chewed her lip as she thought about what Ginny had said. That had never crossed her mind before. If Ron had never made that bet with Seamus, she would not have had the time she had spent with him, or the chance to ever get to know him. In one way, the bet was for good. She smiled slightly as she thought of Ron in that silly outfit, singing his heart out for her. It WAS a bit cute. Hermione shook her head, trying to rid herself of those thoughts. It was not cute! He had made her a fool! A scowl replaced Hermione's smile as she continued to think about what he had done. Ginny sighed.
"Hermione, I can't tell you what to do, but take it from me. True love only comes once. If I had walked away from Harry the first time he ever did something stupid, I wouldn't be as happy as I am today. And I am VERY happy." Ginny smiled blissfully at Hermione. She handed Hermione her copy of Larry Water, thankful not to be holding it anymore. "You forgot this downstairs and Ron said you would miss it, so he sent me to bring it to you. Did you find out what happens in the end yet?"
"No, I am about one chapter away from finding out who dies, but-"
She was cut short by an owl flying through her window. It dropped a single piece of parchment into her lap before fluttering off, eager to make its way back to the owlery. Hermione frowned at the piece of paper as she picked it up, reading the name written across the middle.
Mysterious Slack.
"OH BUGGER!" Hermione screamed. "I'm going to KILL Dean Thomas!"
"What? What does that mean?" Ginny scanned the piece of paper, trying to figure out why someone was sending Hermione notes about trousers.
Hermione looked ready to explode. "Dean found out who dies and he's been looking for a way to ruin it for me all week! Mysterious Slack! Larry's godfather! Oh, it's not FAIR! He ruined the entire thing! WAIT till I see him, I'm going to MURDER that boy!"
Ginny looked shocked. "What a horrible thing to do to someone! If I were you, I'd tie him naked to the whomping willow with some masking tape and a banana, then take a thin switch and whip him until he screams for mercy!" Ginny shivered in delight. "Then, you can take the banana, a galleon, a glass of water, some ducktape, a bottle of lotion, and some wire and-"
"For goodness sakes Ginny, this isn't Macgyver!" Hermione ran her hands through her busy hair, her fingers getting tangled.
Ginny looked confused. "What's...MaGaver?"
Hermione waved a hand. "It's nothing, don't worry about it. Anyway, I'll get Dean back sometime. He'll pay for ruining the story for me, you just watch." She laughed gleefully, rubbing her hands together.
Ginny nodded before standing and saying, "Well, it's been fun, but I've got to find Harry and go for some more Quidditch practice. I think today we'll work with the quaffle, if you catch my meaning." She wagged her eyebrows.
Hermione stared at Ginny in innocence. "I guess so. It's the large red ball, right? The keeper catches it, the chasers throw it, the..." Ginny was laughing at her.
"Too much time in books, Hermione. I guess I'll catch you later. Let me know what happens later in the book." Ginny smiled broadly, taking her leave.
Hermione sighed, placing the pillow beneath her head. A few hours rest was just what she needed to feel refreshed and ready for the battle that lay ahead.
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"Oh Ron," Hermione moaned, "don't stop. Don't ever stop." She pulled his face down to kiss him, her teeth tugging on his bottom lip, hoping to gain entrance. His hands roved over her body, teasing her to the point of madness as he thrust inside her. As his fingers caressed her breasts, she threw her head back, gasping for air. The feeling of Ron inside her was overwhelming. She was balancing on the edge, eagerly awaiting the euphoria that was swiftly rising up to meet her. She was frantic for more, raising her hips off the bed to match his rhythm. "Faster, Ron." She gasped. "Harder. I want all of you in me NOW." As he pounded in her relentlessly, her pleasure increased until she felt an explosion, her screams filling the cool night air. She closed her eyes, letting the waves crash over her until her body was totally satisfied and relaxed. "Wow." She whispered, opening her eyes to gaze at his face. "Ron, that was-"
But the face that hovered above hers wasn't the dear, loving face of her Ron. She gasped in horror as she looked into the cold, lifeless eyes of Viktor Krum. "Hello Herm-own-ninny! How are you? I vas just in the neighborhood and I vas thinking that I never had a chance to take you for a ride on my broomstick, so here I am! Did you enjoy my broomstick, Herm-own-ninny? Ve can be together forever! Ve vill have many little Viktors, make own Quidditch team! You vill be having babies every year, yes? I vill keep you barefoot and pregnant, and ve vill be very happy together, with no Ron to cause problems! And you vill be silent and obey me and make me happy. Ve vill be family!"
Hermione pushed Viktor away from her, scrambling to pull the sheet over her naked body. "How in the hell did you get in here, Viktor?!"
"Oh, that is easy. She let me in!" Viktor pointed to Hermione's left, where Professor McGonagall was sitting in a chair, taking notes.
"Professor! Oh!" The blood drained from her face as her teacher stared at her from over her glasses. "What...er...how long have you been here?"
Professor McGonagall wrote something else on her piece of parchment before looking up at Hermione. "Well, Miss Granger, I do believe that Gryffindor has just earned 150 house points, and you will receive top marks for this assignment. I will use what I learned here today to demonstrate sexual education to my students in class on Monday with Professor Snape. I'll make sure to let everyone know it was you and Mr. Krum who taught me everything I know! Oh, I do love good education! Well now, must be off. Got to practice throwing the quaffle with Professor Dumbledore. He's got to practice getting it through the hoops! I'll just take my banana and go." Hermione watched as Viktor reached under their sheets and produced a bright blue banana, handing it to Professor McGonagall, who disappeared instantly.
Krum took Hermione's hand in his. "Now, ver was I? Oh yes. I love you. You love me. Ve'll be happy family vith a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you! Von't you say you love me too?"
Hermione shook her head, trying to clear the confusion that was raging in her mind. "What? What in the hell are you talking about?" She screamed as Viktor's head transformed into the head of a large purple dinosaur.
"What shall we play today? I know! Let's sing a song about feelings! Hurray! Sharing is caring, and caring is sharing! You should always share your toys! It's good for little girls and boys! Want to touch MY toy, Hermione?"
"NOOOOOO!" Hermione shrieked, "LEAVE ME ALONE!" She crawled backwards on her bed as the dinosaur advanced, his large purple arms open wide.
"Let me share my toy with you, Hermione! Sharing is caring!"
Hermione felt under her pillow for her wand, pulling it out and pointing it at Viktor. "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" she shouted. She groaned as she realized that her wand was nothing but a large hot pink banana. She screamed, then threw it aside, watching Viktor advance. She was trapped! She pressed her back against the headboard, squeezing her eyes shut. There was nothing left to do but fight him with her fists. As she raised one of her hands in the air, prepared to strike, she heard the dinosaur scream, then fall with a sickening thud. She opened one eye, then gasped. Standing before her bed was a teenage boy, enveloped by a silver, shimmering light. His dark hair was combed neatly, his square shaped glasses perched perfectly on his nose. He stood with one fist on his hip, while the other held what appeared to be a long French fry.
Hermione gawked at him. "Who are YOU?"
The boy rolled his eyes at her. "I'm Larry Water, of course. Don't you ever look at the covers of my books? Duh." Larry sat down on Hermione's bed, kicking the dinosaur that now lay unconscious at his feet. "Stupid network gimmick. It terrorizes children and adults all over the world. It was nice to be able to finally give it a good kick in the ass." Larry turned toward Hermione, who's mouth was still hanging open. "Well, are you going to speak, or are you just going to sit there all day, staring at my handsome face?"
Hermione stuttered. "I-I don't understand. What are you doing here? What's going on? Why did you save me?"
Larry picked some fuzz off his brilliantly white Gap shirt. "I saved you because that's what I do. I'm the wonderful, perfect, slightly sad because my godfather died in battle with Lord Callmedork when he got a fry shoved up his nostril, never geeky, undeniably sexy, always the bell of the mall, Larry Water." He looked up at her and grinned. "The boy who sinned." Larry scooted closer to her, staring deep into her eyes. "I'm here because I have a message for you. I get tired of Don and Slimy denying their feelings for one another. They bicker, bicker, bicker all day long, and then stare at each other in rapture, wishing they could be together. Now, K. J. Lowring isn't letting them get together yet, and they may never be together because K. J. is a tease, but you and Ron have a chance. Don't blow this, Hermione. You love each other, and that is all that matters. Not some silly bet, not the things he did wrong, your LOVE for each other. Forgive him, Hermione."
Hermione glared at him. "Your godfather dies in battle getting a fry shoved up his nose? Thanks a lot! I wasn't finished yet!"
Larry scoffed. "Well, too damn bad! Don't mess with me! I'm still sad! Look! Sadness!" Larry pouted, sniffling slightly. "Anyway, forget about the book, and forget about Don and Slimy. Think about Ron, and your futures. Don't mess it all up with your anger. Anyway, I have to go." Larry looked at his Old Navy watch, noting the time. He patted Hermione on the head, then stood up, smiling at her in the sort of way Lockhart used to. "Be sure to read the very last page of the book. I think it will interest you. See you in the pages!" With that, Larry Water and the giant purple dinosaur disappeared from sight, waking Hermione from her frightful slumber.
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Hermione sat up, struggling for air. That was the worst dream she had ever had. She reached under her pillow, relieved when she pulled out a wand, and not a banana. She sighed deeply, happy that the dream was over, and she was safe. She thought a moment before muttering, "So THAT'S what Ginny meant about quidditch practice..."
Her Larry Water book was lying on her bedside table, the cover nearly shining in the moonlight. Hermione estimated that it was about eight in the evening. She lit a candle, dragging the book over to her bed, her hands caressing the cover. It was then that she remembered what Larry had said. Was she really making a mess of her and Ron's future? She turned to the last page of the book, surprised to find a letter written in an untidy scrawl. From the look of the ink, it had been written recently. Had Larry left her another message? She eagerly began to read.
Hermione,
I'm not perfect.
I'm not anywhere close.
But I'm real,
and I don't mean to boast,
but I'm made for you,
and you alone.
I'll admit it.
I do make mistakes,
and I'm sorry.
I'll do whatever it takes
to prove I'm made for you,
and you alone.
You're the only one I need in this world.
I can't imagine my life without you, girl.
I love you.
I love you.
Please say that you are made for me too.
I don't know what else to say, Hermione. I don't know what to do to make you forgive me, or to give me another chance, which is what I want more than anything. I'm clinging desperately to you, 'Mione. I'm yours. Please take me. I can't sit around and wait forever, baby. Here's my body, my heart, my soul, my mind, my voice, my feelings, anything you want. Just tell me what you desire. I'll give it all to you. I love you more than anything else in the entire world, and I will do anything for you. Just please, give me another chance. Stop this pain, end this game. Please don't make me beg. I love you, 'Mione.
Always in pursuit of Miss Granger,
Ron
Hermione sat the book down, staring at the words. She was being stupid. She was letting his angry words get in the way of their happiness. How hard was letting go? Ron had said things before, things that were more horrible than what he said in her room yesterday. She was acting the part of the fool. She closed the book, staring out the window. She could hear people down in the common room, happily making jokes and having fun. Why wasn't she with them? Because she was letting a stupid fight bother her so much, it was all she could think about. She could end it all quick by just going to Ron and apologizing for being an idiot. She nodded her head, having made her decision, laid her book back on the bedside table, blew out the candle and started for the door. There was a loud bang behind her, then the sound of someone grunting. Hermione whirled around quickly, looking for who it was, but there was no one in her room but her.
There was another groan. It was coming from outside her window! Hermione grabbed her wand from her bed, ready to hex whoever it was into eternity. A hand opened her window, and was soon followed by an arm, which grabbed onto the wall for support as it pulled a man's body inside. It was too dark to tell who it was. She prayed it wasn't Viktor, coming to sweep her away on his tiny, much smaller than Rons, no account broomstick. She shivered in disgust. The man's feet hit the floor and he rose to his full height, which was much taller than Hermione. She raised her wand in the air, crying, "Petrificus Total-"
"'Mione, STOP!" The man held a hand out to stall her actions.
She squinted, then hissed, "RON?" She bent and lit the taper once more, standing up to see he had moved toward her, his red hair shining in the firelight. "Ron, what in bloody hell do you think you are doing!?" She watched the corners of his mouth turn up.
"You cursed."
"Oh, shut up. Answer me."
Ron frowned, then scratched his head. "I was at your door a bit ago, about to knock, when I heard you screaming. You were screaming something about a dinosaur, and Viktor Krum, and you locked the door, so I figured I'd just fly my way up here to your window. However..." He held up a broomstick, which was now broken in two, "I kinda ran into the building in my rush. I fell off and had to grab your windowsill. I was lucky."
Hermione shook her head at him. "Ron, you could have got yourself killed."
He just shrugged, his face turning serious. "Are you OK? Why were you screaming? What happened?"
Hermione put a hand over his mouth. "I had a nightmare. Professor McGonagall was watching me have sex with Viktor, and she gave me points...he turned into a dinosaur...Larry Water saved me...it was mad." She threw her hands up, exhausted from reliving the strange dream in her mind. "It was nothing."
Ron just stared for a moment, an bemused expression on his face. "Oh." She looked directly into his eyes and watched as they narrowed, a look of anger darkening his features. "I'm glad because I have something to say." He grabbed her, pulling her against him with all his might, his eyes staring angrily into hers. "Listen to me, Hermione Granger. I am tired of waiting. I have offered you everything! I have made a fool out of myself, given up my sex god reputation, lost friendships for you, and what have you given me? Nothing but grief! You WILL forgive me, Hermione! I will see to that! And further more-"
"Ron, I forgive you."
"-you will love me for the rest of your life! I am NOT going to give up, and if you think for one-"
"I AM going to love you for the rest of my life."
"-second that you can just up and forget about me, or fall in love with some other man, well, you've got-"
"I will never love anyone else. I was made for you."
"-another thing coming missy! I don't give up my love easily, and when I gave it to you, I was really going out on a limb, rejection be damned, and...excuse me? What did you say?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, ticking off her fingers as she repeated herself, "Which part? The 'I forgive you,' the 'I'm going to love you the rest of my life,' or the 'I was made for you?' Which would you like me to repeat?"
Ron grinned. "The part where you said my name."
She smiled widely, her arms reaching up around his neck. "Ron."
He closed his eyes and moaned. "Say it again, baby."
"Ron..." She whispered, placing her lips on his. Ron wrapped his arms happily around her waist, lifting her off the ground and placing her on the bed. She had never felt as happy as she had at that moment. Ron broke the kiss, lifting his head to look at her. He smoothed the hair away from her face. "You are so damn beautiful."
Hermione grinned at him, playing with the top button on his shirt. "Ron...where did you find that song you sang to me at dinner?"
He blushed and buried his face in her hair, laughing. "Dean Thomas had it. He has a bunch of muggle CDs that I borrowed to listen to in my CD player. That song just kinda seemed perfect."
She nodded. "And the poem you wrote in the letter?"
He was silent for a moment. "I wrote that."
Hermione laughed, causing him to lift his face from her hair to glare at her. She ran her fingers over his hair. "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Ron. It was beautiful. I loved it." He grinned at her, happy for her praise.
As he kissed her forehead, he mumbled, "Dean gave me this really bad poem he wrote to give to you. It was so stupid. I can't believe he wrote that piece of crap."
She gave him an impish smile. "And...do you still have it?"
He looked surprised. "Yeah...why?"
Hermione broke out in a wide grin. "Oh, nothing. Just a little revenge. Let's go get it later." She moaned as Ron's hands ran over her body. "Much later."
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How would I compare you to a summer's night?
Your boobs are like flowers, white with little pink thingies in the middle
Your hair, like fresh mud, brown and waiting to play in
Your eyes dance like beetles before a porch light
Your boobs are as round as footballs, ready to be bounced
Your ears are like worms crawled together for warmth
You smell like fresh butterbeer, straight out of the bottle
Your deodorant smells like the warm cookies my mother makes
Your eyelashes look like spider legs, scurrying across a lawn
before someone steps on it, sending it where it belongs
Your legs are like two long sticks
Your boobs are as white as freshly fallen rain
You are most like a summer's night, indeed! I love you!
- Dean Thomas
Hermione stared at the poem, which was hanging on the bulletin board in the common room. It was the most horrible thing she had ever read. Even Ron's first attempt at poetry was better than Dean's manifesto! Ron was laughing heartily as he stood behind her, his arms circling her waist. She frowned, her eyes squinting. "He mentions my boobs three times."
Ron's laughter stopped abruptly. "I'll KILL the bastard."
Hermione laughed at Ron, her hand caressing his face. "No need. Once everyone reads this poem, we both with have revenge, my sweet."
Ron looked down on her upturned face, his expression full of confusion. "You never did tell me what he did."
She scowled. "He ruined 'Larry Water and the Order of Phoenix Fries' for me. He told me who dies."
"Ah. I see." Ron nodded his head in understanding.
Hermione smiled at him, pulling his head down to hers before whispering, "But I think you made it better." He blushed bright red, his eyes rolling up to look at the ceiling. She glanced once more at the offending poem before turning away from the board. "Come on Ron," she said as she led him away, "let's go get some more quidditch practice in before Dean finds this poem and kills us. And I get to be seeker this time." She lead the way up the stairs, her hips swaying seductively, arousing Ron. He frowned.
"All right Hermione, but if McGonagall comes to watch, I'm not staying."
Hermione laughed happily. She had her man, her book, her future. Who could ask for anything more? Ron ran ahead of her, eager to get to the practice. She followed him up the stairs, noting that the roles had somehow changed. It was ironic indeed, for now it seemed she was pursuing Mr. Weasley. As she closed the door on the world outside, Hermione knew that life just couldn't get any better than this.
AN: *cries like a baby* IPOMG is finally finished! I'm kinda sad it's ending, but it means I will be starting my new story, which is gonna be cool. :) Please Katie, keep my secret! Anyway, let me see...there is a MAJOR OOTP SPOILER below...I actually tell who dies, so if you don't know, don't wanna know, don't read paragraphs 14,41, or 42. Don't blame me if you read it!! It's your choice to read this, I didn't force ya! LOL Hmm...I have to dedicate the sex scene to Brittney, because she wanted one bad. Thanks to Stefanie, who wrote me the sweetest e-mail! :) Thanks sweetie!! The song below is called "Made For You", and yes, I did write it, so please don't use it without my permission(as if you wanted to, eh? LOL). If you want to know how the song goes, I have a wave of it on my website, so here is the URL to listen: {{Http://www.geocities.com/MoonlightDiva1981/made1.mp3}} Let's see how many people know what MacGyver is. LOL Oh, and Barney belongs to whatever company that owns him, blah blah blah I wish I could kick that stupid thing...Oh, you're still here, righto...Sorry. Anyway...I really hope you guys liked this story. Laughter(and da warm fuzzies!) is the best medicine, so hopefully if you are down, or going through a bad time, this will help you feel a little bit better. :) It's been great writing this story...look for my next one, which will be even stupider, and sillier. LOL I'm gonna start writing it very soon. Now without further ado, Here is the last chapter of "In Pursuit of Miss Granger."
Chapter Ten: In Pursuit of Mr. Weasley
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Hermione threw herself onto her bed and screamed into her pillow. Ron was such an idiot sometimes! First he yelled that he loved her to all the Hogwart's ground, and now he had embarrassed her in front of the teachers, the students, and her friends! How much more could a girl take? It was obvious that Ron wouldn't give up on her no matter how much she protested, but something inside her still wanted to be compensated for the damage he had caused. The boy was like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest! To her horror, she started to dream up other embarrassing things he would do to her. He would beg her to forgive him night and day, never letting her have any sleep. He would tie a banner on his broom stick that stated his feelings and ride around with it during Quidditch matches. He would start to follow her to her classes, the bathroom, even -- she shivered as she gave it thought -- the library. She would never know any peace!
There was a loud knock on her door. She removed her face from the pillow long enough to yell "WHAT!?" before resuming her pity party. Praying that it wasn't Ron, she laid her face back down in the pillow, wondering how long it would take to smother herself to death. No, it was better to live, she supposed. Ron would probably find her in death and produce a choreographed Broadway number in front of Saint Peter, complete with dancing walruses and exploding fireworks from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, compliments of his loving brothers, Fred and George.
She groaned slightly as she heard the door open. "Hermione? Are you alright?" Hermione sighed in relief. It was only Ginny. She rolled onto her back, hugging the pillow to her chest.
"Yes, Ginny, I'm alright. A tad embarrassed, but other than that, just peachy."
She felt Ginny sit down on her bed as she continued to stare at her ceiling. Ginny cleared her throat, waiting a moment before stating, "Ron loves you."
Hermione threw her hands up, "No, really? Hadn't noticed. Wait. Do you suppose THAT was what he was trying to say when he created that embarrassing display in the great hall? What a silly girl I am not to notice! Ron LOVES me! Oh, what a joyous day indeed, for-"
"Oh, bugger off Hermione!" Ginny laughed loudly, shaking her head. "Enough sarcasm for today. I was just a bit shocked, that's all. You told me he said so to Seamus, but I figured it was all just a load. What he did downstairs just proves he really wants to be with you."
"Ginny, did you come here to lecture me? I know he wants to be with me, but really, he's a bit of a prat! He thinks that if he makes it so everything is out in the open, everything is out for everyone else to see, that I'll just run back and say, 'Oh Ron! Now that the entire school knows you love me and you've made a fool out of us both, I'm yours forever!' It doesn't work that way. I deserve respect, and if he respects me, at least he could have the decency to do all this in private. I don't like my feelings to be on display." She sat up and stared at Ginny, who was nodding fiercely. "I'm not sure where to go with this. I love him, he loves me, we should be happy! But no. He HAD to make a bet to bed me. He HAD to throw a fit and insult me when he found out I knew. It's all ridiculous!"
"If he had never made that bet, you would never have known each others feelings, Hermione. You would never have known he loves you as well." Ginny pointed out.
Hermione chewed her lip as she thought about what Ginny had said. That had never crossed her mind before. If Ron had never made that bet with Seamus, she would not have had the time she had spent with him, or the chance to ever get to know him. In one way, the bet was for good. She smiled slightly as she thought of Ron in that silly outfit, singing his heart out for her. It WAS a bit cute. Hermione shook her head, trying to rid herself of those thoughts. It was not cute! He had made her a fool! A scowl replaced Hermione's smile as she continued to think about what he had done. Ginny sighed.
"Hermione, I can't tell you what to do, but take it from me. True love only comes once. If I had walked away from Harry the first time he ever did something stupid, I wouldn't be as happy as I am today. And I am VERY happy." Ginny smiled blissfully at Hermione. She handed Hermione her copy of Larry Water, thankful not to be holding it anymore. "You forgot this downstairs and Ron said you would miss it, so he sent me to bring it to you. Did you find out what happens in the end yet?"
"No, I am about one chapter away from finding out who dies, but-"
She was cut short by an owl flying through her window. It dropped a single piece of parchment into her lap before fluttering off, eager to make its way back to the owlery. Hermione frowned at the piece of paper as she picked it up, reading the name written across the middle.
Mysterious Slack.
"OH BUGGER!" Hermione screamed. "I'm going to KILL Dean Thomas!"
"What? What does that mean?" Ginny scanned the piece of paper, trying to figure out why someone was sending Hermione notes about trousers.
Hermione looked ready to explode. "Dean found out who dies and he's been looking for a way to ruin it for me all week! Mysterious Slack! Larry's godfather! Oh, it's not FAIR! He ruined the entire thing! WAIT till I see him, I'm going to MURDER that boy!"
Ginny looked shocked. "What a horrible thing to do to someone! If I were you, I'd tie him naked to the whomping willow with some masking tape and a banana, then take a thin switch and whip him until he screams for mercy!" Ginny shivered in delight. "Then, you can take the banana, a galleon, a glass of water, some ducktape, a bottle of lotion, and some wire and-"
"For goodness sakes Ginny, this isn't Macgyver!" Hermione ran her hands through her busy hair, her fingers getting tangled.
Ginny looked confused. "What's...MaGaver?"
Hermione waved a hand. "It's nothing, don't worry about it. Anyway, I'll get Dean back sometime. He'll pay for ruining the story for me, you just watch." She laughed gleefully, rubbing her hands together.
Ginny nodded before standing and saying, "Well, it's been fun, but I've got to find Harry and go for some more Quidditch practice. I think today we'll work with the quaffle, if you catch my meaning." She wagged her eyebrows.
Hermione stared at Ginny in innocence. "I guess so. It's the large red ball, right? The keeper catches it, the chasers throw it, the..." Ginny was laughing at her.
"Too much time in books, Hermione. I guess I'll catch you later. Let me know what happens later in the book." Ginny smiled broadly, taking her leave.
Hermione sighed, placing the pillow beneath her head. A few hours rest was just what she needed to feel refreshed and ready for the battle that lay ahead.
~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~
"Oh Ron," Hermione moaned, "don't stop. Don't ever stop." She pulled his face down to kiss him, her teeth tugging on his bottom lip, hoping to gain entrance. His hands roved over her body, teasing her to the point of madness as he thrust inside her. As his fingers caressed her breasts, she threw her head back, gasping for air. The feeling of Ron inside her was overwhelming. She was balancing on the edge, eagerly awaiting the euphoria that was swiftly rising up to meet her. She was frantic for more, raising her hips off the bed to match his rhythm. "Faster, Ron." She gasped. "Harder. I want all of you in me NOW." As he pounded in her relentlessly, her pleasure increased until she felt an explosion, her screams filling the cool night air. She closed her eyes, letting the waves crash over her until her body was totally satisfied and relaxed. "Wow." She whispered, opening her eyes to gaze at his face. "Ron, that was-"
But the face that hovered above hers wasn't the dear, loving face of her Ron. She gasped in horror as she looked into the cold, lifeless eyes of Viktor Krum. "Hello Herm-own-ninny! How are you? I vas just in the neighborhood and I vas thinking that I never had a chance to take you for a ride on my broomstick, so here I am! Did you enjoy my broomstick, Herm-own-ninny? Ve can be together forever! Ve vill have many little Viktors, make own Quidditch team! You vill be having babies every year, yes? I vill keep you barefoot and pregnant, and ve vill be very happy together, with no Ron to cause problems! And you vill be silent and obey me and make me happy. Ve vill be family!"
Hermione pushed Viktor away from her, scrambling to pull the sheet over her naked body. "How in the hell did you get in here, Viktor?!"
"Oh, that is easy. She let me in!" Viktor pointed to Hermione's left, where Professor McGonagall was sitting in a chair, taking notes.
"Professor! Oh!" The blood drained from her face as her teacher stared at her from over her glasses. "What...er...how long have you been here?"
Professor McGonagall wrote something else on her piece of parchment before looking up at Hermione. "Well, Miss Granger, I do believe that Gryffindor has just earned 150 house points, and you will receive top marks for this assignment. I will use what I learned here today to demonstrate sexual education to my students in class on Monday with Professor Snape. I'll make sure to let everyone know it was you and Mr. Krum who taught me everything I know! Oh, I do love good education! Well now, must be off. Got to practice throwing the quaffle with Professor Dumbledore. He's got to practice getting it through the hoops! I'll just take my banana and go." Hermione watched as Viktor reached under their sheets and produced a bright blue banana, handing it to Professor McGonagall, who disappeared instantly.
Krum took Hermione's hand in his. "Now, ver was I? Oh yes. I love you. You love me. Ve'll be happy family vith a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you! Von't you say you love me too?"
Hermione shook her head, trying to clear the confusion that was raging in her mind. "What? What in the hell are you talking about?" She screamed as Viktor's head transformed into the head of a large purple dinosaur.
"What shall we play today? I know! Let's sing a song about feelings! Hurray! Sharing is caring, and caring is sharing! You should always share your toys! It's good for little girls and boys! Want to touch MY toy, Hermione?"
"NOOOOOO!" Hermione shrieked, "LEAVE ME ALONE!" She crawled backwards on her bed as the dinosaur advanced, his large purple arms open wide.
"Let me share my toy with you, Hermione! Sharing is caring!"
Hermione felt under her pillow for her wand, pulling it out and pointing it at Viktor. "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" she shouted. She groaned as she realized that her wand was nothing but a large hot pink banana. She screamed, then threw it aside, watching Viktor advance. She was trapped! She pressed her back against the headboard, squeezing her eyes shut. There was nothing left to do but fight him with her fists. As she raised one of her hands in the air, prepared to strike, she heard the dinosaur scream, then fall with a sickening thud. She opened one eye, then gasped. Standing before her bed was a teenage boy, enveloped by a silver, shimmering light. His dark hair was combed neatly, his square shaped glasses perched perfectly on his nose. He stood with one fist on his hip, while the other held what appeared to be a long French fry.
Hermione gawked at him. "Who are YOU?"
The boy rolled his eyes at her. "I'm Larry Water, of course. Don't you ever look at the covers of my books? Duh." Larry sat down on Hermione's bed, kicking the dinosaur that now lay unconscious at his feet. "Stupid network gimmick. It terrorizes children and adults all over the world. It was nice to be able to finally give it a good kick in the ass." Larry turned toward Hermione, who's mouth was still hanging open. "Well, are you going to speak, or are you just going to sit there all day, staring at my handsome face?"
Hermione stuttered. "I-I don't understand. What are you doing here? What's going on? Why did you save me?"
Larry picked some fuzz off his brilliantly white Gap shirt. "I saved you because that's what I do. I'm the wonderful, perfect, slightly sad because my godfather died in battle with Lord Callmedork when he got a fry shoved up his nostril, never geeky, undeniably sexy, always the bell of the mall, Larry Water." He looked up at her and grinned. "The boy who sinned." Larry scooted closer to her, staring deep into her eyes. "I'm here because I have a message for you. I get tired of Don and Slimy denying their feelings for one another. They bicker, bicker, bicker all day long, and then stare at each other in rapture, wishing they could be together. Now, K. J. Lowring isn't letting them get together yet, and they may never be together because K. J. is a tease, but you and Ron have a chance. Don't blow this, Hermione. You love each other, and that is all that matters. Not some silly bet, not the things he did wrong, your LOVE for each other. Forgive him, Hermione."
Hermione glared at him. "Your godfather dies in battle getting a fry shoved up his nose? Thanks a lot! I wasn't finished yet!"
Larry scoffed. "Well, too damn bad! Don't mess with me! I'm still sad! Look! Sadness!" Larry pouted, sniffling slightly. "Anyway, forget about the book, and forget about Don and Slimy. Think about Ron, and your futures. Don't mess it all up with your anger. Anyway, I have to go." Larry looked at his Old Navy watch, noting the time. He patted Hermione on the head, then stood up, smiling at her in the sort of way Lockhart used to. "Be sure to read the very last page of the book. I think it will interest you. See you in the pages!" With that, Larry Water and the giant purple dinosaur disappeared from sight, waking Hermione from her frightful slumber.
~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~
Hermione sat up, struggling for air. That was the worst dream she had ever had. She reached under her pillow, relieved when she pulled out a wand, and not a banana. She sighed deeply, happy that the dream was over, and she was safe. She thought a moment before muttering, "So THAT'S what Ginny meant about quidditch practice..."
Her Larry Water book was lying on her bedside table, the cover nearly shining in the moonlight. Hermione estimated that it was about eight in the evening. She lit a candle, dragging the book over to her bed, her hands caressing the cover. It was then that she remembered what Larry had said. Was she really making a mess of her and Ron's future? She turned to the last page of the book, surprised to find a letter written in an untidy scrawl. From the look of the ink, it had been written recently. Had Larry left her another message? She eagerly began to read.
Hermione,
I'm not perfect.
I'm not anywhere close.
But I'm real,
and I don't mean to boast,
but I'm made for you,
and you alone.
I'll admit it.
I do make mistakes,
and I'm sorry.
I'll do whatever it takes
to prove I'm made for you,
and you alone.
You're the only one I need in this world.
I can't imagine my life without you, girl.
I love you.
I love you.
Please say that you are made for me too.
I don't know what else to say, Hermione. I don't know what to do to make you forgive me, or to give me another chance, which is what I want more than anything. I'm clinging desperately to you, 'Mione. I'm yours. Please take me. I can't sit around and wait forever, baby. Here's my body, my heart, my soul, my mind, my voice, my feelings, anything you want. Just tell me what you desire. I'll give it all to you. I love you more than anything else in the entire world, and I will do anything for you. Just please, give me another chance. Stop this pain, end this game. Please don't make me beg. I love you, 'Mione.
Always in pursuit of Miss Granger,
Ron
Hermione sat the book down, staring at the words. She was being stupid. She was letting his angry words get in the way of their happiness. How hard was letting go? Ron had said things before, things that were more horrible than what he said in her room yesterday. She was acting the part of the fool. She closed the book, staring out the window. She could hear people down in the common room, happily making jokes and having fun. Why wasn't she with them? Because she was letting a stupid fight bother her so much, it was all she could think about. She could end it all quick by just going to Ron and apologizing for being an idiot. She nodded her head, having made her decision, laid her book back on the bedside table, blew out the candle and started for the door. There was a loud bang behind her, then the sound of someone grunting. Hermione whirled around quickly, looking for who it was, but there was no one in her room but her.
There was another groan. It was coming from outside her window! Hermione grabbed her wand from her bed, ready to hex whoever it was into eternity. A hand opened her window, and was soon followed by an arm, which grabbed onto the wall for support as it pulled a man's body inside. It was too dark to tell who it was. She prayed it wasn't Viktor, coming to sweep her away on his tiny, much smaller than Rons, no account broomstick. She shivered in disgust. The man's feet hit the floor and he rose to his full height, which was much taller than Hermione. She raised her wand in the air, crying, "Petrificus Total-"
"'Mione, STOP!" The man held a hand out to stall her actions.
She squinted, then hissed, "RON?" She bent and lit the taper once more, standing up to see he had moved toward her, his red hair shining in the firelight. "Ron, what in bloody hell do you think you are doing!?" She watched the corners of his mouth turn up.
"You cursed."
"Oh, shut up. Answer me."
Ron frowned, then scratched his head. "I was at your door a bit ago, about to knock, when I heard you screaming. You were screaming something about a dinosaur, and Viktor Krum, and you locked the door, so I figured I'd just fly my way up here to your window. However..." He held up a broomstick, which was now broken in two, "I kinda ran into the building in my rush. I fell off and had to grab your windowsill. I was lucky."
Hermione shook her head at him. "Ron, you could have got yourself killed."
He just shrugged, his face turning serious. "Are you OK? Why were you screaming? What happened?"
Hermione put a hand over his mouth. "I had a nightmare. Professor McGonagall was watching me have sex with Viktor, and she gave me points...he turned into a dinosaur...Larry Water saved me...it was mad." She threw her hands up, exhausted from reliving the strange dream in her mind. "It was nothing."
Ron just stared for a moment, an bemused expression on his face. "Oh." She looked directly into his eyes and watched as they narrowed, a look of anger darkening his features. "I'm glad because I have something to say." He grabbed her, pulling her against him with all his might, his eyes staring angrily into hers. "Listen to me, Hermione Granger. I am tired of waiting. I have offered you everything! I have made a fool out of myself, given up my sex god reputation, lost friendships for you, and what have you given me? Nothing but grief! You WILL forgive me, Hermione! I will see to that! And further more-"
"Ron, I forgive you."
"-you will love me for the rest of your life! I am NOT going to give up, and if you think for one-"
"I AM going to love you for the rest of my life."
"-second that you can just up and forget about me, or fall in love with some other man, well, you've got-"
"I will never love anyone else. I was made for you."
"-another thing coming missy! I don't give up my love easily, and when I gave it to you, I was really going out on a limb, rejection be damned, and...excuse me? What did you say?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, ticking off her fingers as she repeated herself, "Which part? The 'I forgive you,' the 'I'm going to love you the rest of my life,' or the 'I was made for you?' Which would you like me to repeat?"
Ron grinned. "The part where you said my name."
She smiled widely, her arms reaching up around his neck. "Ron."
He closed his eyes and moaned. "Say it again, baby."
"Ron..." She whispered, placing her lips on his. Ron wrapped his arms happily around her waist, lifting her off the ground and placing her on the bed. She had never felt as happy as she had at that moment. Ron broke the kiss, lifting his head to look at her. He smoothed the hair away from her face. "You are so damn beautiful."
Hermione grinned at him, playing with the top button on his shirt. "Ron...where did you find that song you sang to me at dinner?"
He blushed and buried his face in her hair, laughing. "Dean Thomas had it. He has a bunch of muggle CDs that I borrowed to listen to in my CD player. That song just kinda seemed perfect."
She nodded. "And the poem you wrote in the letter?"
He was silent for a moment. "I wrote that."
Hermione laughed, causing him to lift his face from her hair to glare at her. She ran her fingers over his hair. "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Ron. It was beautiful. I loved it." He grinned at her, happy for her praise.
As he kissed her forehead, he mumbled, "Dean gave me this really bad poem he wrote to give to you. It was so stupid. I can't believe he wrote that piece of crap."
She gave him an impish smile. "And...do you still have it?"
He looked surprised. "Yeah...why?"
Hermione broke out in a wide grin. "Oh, nothing. Just a little revenge. Let's go get it later." She moaned as Ron's hands ran over her body. "Much later."
~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~`*`~~
How would I compare you to a summer's night?
Your boobs are like flowers, white with little pink thingies in the middle
Your hair, like fresh mud, brown and waiting to play in
Your eyes dance like beetles before a porch light
Your boobs are as round as footballs, ready to be bounced
Your ears are like worms crawled together for warmth
You smell like fresh butterbeer, straight out of the bottle
Your deodorant smells like the warm cookies my mother makes
Your eyelashes look like spider legs, scurrying across a lawn
before someone steps on it, sending it where it belongs
Your legs are like two long sticks
Your boobs are as white as freshly fallen rain
You are most like a summer's night, indeed! I love you!
- Dean Thomas
Hermione stared at the poem, which was hanging on the bulletin board in the common room. It was the most horrible thing she had ever read. Even Ron's first attempt at poetry was better than Dean's manifesto! Ron was laughing heartily as he stood behind her, his arms circling her waist. She frowned, her eyes squinting. "He mentions my boobs three times."
Ron's laughter stopped abruptly. "I'll KILL the bastard."
Hermione laughed at Ron, her hand caressing his face. "No need. Once everyone reads this poem, we both with have revenge, my sweet."
Ron looked down on her upturned face, his expression full of confusion. "You never did tell me what he did."
She scowled. "He ruined 'Larry Water and the Order of Phoenix Fries' for me. He told me who dies."
"Ah. I see." Ron nodded his head in understanding.
Hermione smiled at him, pulling his head down to hers before whispering, "But I think you made it better." He blushed bright red, his eyes rolling up to look at the ceiling. She glanced once more at the offending poem before turning away from the board. "Come on Ron," she said as she led him away, "let's go get some more quidditch practice in before Dean finds this poem and kills us. And I get to be seeker this time." She lead the way up the stairs, her hips swaying seductively, arousing Ron. He frowned.
"All right Hermione, but if McGonagall comes to watch, I'm not staying."
Hermione laughed happily. She had her man, her book, her future. Who could ask for anything more? Ron ran ahead of her, eager to get to the practice. She followed him up the stairs, noting that the roles had somehow changed. It was ironic indeed, for now it seemed she was pursuing Mr. Weasley. As she closed the door on the world outside, Hermione knew that life just couldn't get any better than this.