Gaby belongs to me.
Jerry Springer belongs to himself.
Rated PG-13 for language and sexual references. Some slash is included. (You've been warned, so don't bother complaining.) Also a lot of silliness.
Based mostly on canon, but includes my own original character (it's my story, dammit!).
The first part of this came to me as a way of taking out frustrations after a bad day at work. The rest just kind of wrote itself. I tried to include every popular pairing involving the Time Force Rangers, canon and not; my apologies if I left out the one you like.
The idea was inspired by MrQuinn's excellent series of 'Ranger vs Springer' stories, check them out if you like this. Hugs and kisses to MrQuinn himself for letting me steal, er, borrow the concept.
Kindly take a moment to review...
"Today's topic is Power Ranger love triangles. What lies beneath the spandex and helmets? I'm sure the world would like to know. And today, we'll find out." Jerry pauses, and turns to the stage entrance. "Let's all give a big welcome to our first guests: Eric Myers, the famous Quantum Ranger, and his girlfriend, Gabriella Butler!"
Applause roars out as Eric and Gaby appear and walk to their seats, mingled with a few admiring whistles and hoots. They sit, Eric glaring and Gaby smiling shyly.
"Now, let's get started," Jerry says. "Eric, how long have you and Gaby here known each other?"
"Almost a year now." Eric takes her hand.
"Yes, it's been wonderful," Gaby says. "Eric's a terrific boyfriend."
"I'm sure he is. He's a Ranger, a hero. But maybe not so heroic in every way. What would you say if I told you there was another woman in his life?"
"What?" Gaby stares at Eric, wide-eyed. He begins to glare at Jerry again.
"And she happens to be right backstage. Folks, let's meet her... Taylor Earhardt, the yellow Wild Force Ranger!" More applause rings out, as Taylor marches onstage. She stops in front of Eric and gives him a glare of her own.
"Uh... Hi, Taylor," he says, sounding rather lame.
"You rat!" she shouts. "You never told me you had a girlfriend!"
"Well..." Eric says unconvincingly.
"Eric, who is this? What's going on?" Gaby demands.
"I'm Taylor. I have more right to be with Eric than you do!" Taylor snarls. "He's mine!"
"What? Hell, no! We've been together for months! He's mine!"
"I'm a Ranger, sister! I know him in canon! You're just an OC!"
"What difference does that make, you bigoted blonde bimbo?"
Taylor pulls Gaby's hair, Gaby leaps up and slaps her. The audience erupts in shouts of 'Catfight!' Eric jumps up and tries to get between them, provoking them both to attack him. Jerry's bouncers move in and drag all three apart.
"Girls, please!" Eric cries, looking more frightened than when facing the worst mutants. "Gaby, I swear, I just flirted with her a little at a picnic!"
"That's a load of bull!" Taylor screams. "That walk in the woods ended up with a lot more than flirting!"
Gaby glares at her and turns on Eric again. "I remember that picnic, you creep! You said you couldn't bring me! Rangers and mutants only! And now I know why!"
"I thought you were my boyfriend!" Taylor continues. "Why else do you drive down to Turtle Cove every week to give me a speeding ticket, and then let me 'talk' you out of it in the back seat?"
"What?" Gaby squeaks in outrage. "You said you were taking time off to teach a course in driver's education!"
Taylor grins, hands on hips. "Oh, it's pretty educational, all right!"
Gaby grins back ferociously. "Back off, or I'll tell Eric what happens when you morph!"
Taylor goes pale. "But... but how do you know about that?"
"I know a bulge when I see one, Miss Yellow Ranger! Or should I say Mister?"
"You would notice that, you slut!"
"What?" Eric gasps, staring at Taylor. "You're a man?"
"Only when I morph! You don't know what it's like! One second I'm in my nice female body, and the next I've got a whole new set of equipment! And I don't mean sabers and blasters! I... I don't know who I am anymore!" She bursts into tears and runs offstage. Eric and Gaby sit down again, this time several feet apart, Eric glowering at Jerry stonily.
Now that it's safe, Jerry returns to the middle of the stage. "All right... Now let's bring out our next couple. Say hello to Lucas Kendall, the blue Time Force Ranger, and Nadira, the - er - mutant!"
More applause and more appreciative hoots as the two come out holding hands. Obviously well aware of their own good looks, both pause and spend several seconds smiling and posing for the cameras, Nadira flipping her long pink hair.
"Lucas and Nadira, you've been together for about a year now too, right?"
"That's right, Jerry," Lucas says happily, smiling at Nadira. "We got together at that same picnic."
"Yes, and we've been deliriously in love ever since," Nadira coos, batting her eyes at him.
"But Lucas might be surprised to know who else you're involved with."
"What?" gasps Nadira. "I -I don't know what you mean..."
"Ever since your father surrendered to the Time Force police and you were returned to your own time, you've been seeing a certain someone. And let's bring him out now! Trip Regis, the green Time Force Ranger!"
Screams from the audience as a green-haired figure trots out, holding a single red rose. Trip grins, eyes only for Nadira, and walks to her chair, handing her the flower. She smiles and takes it. Trip goes down on one knee and kisses her hand. At this point Lucas had had enough; he jumps up with a roar of rage and pushes Trip. The bouncers, who had been circling warily, move in.
"I don't believe this!" Lucas shouts. "My best friend, going with my girl behind my back!"
"I couldn't help it! Ever since Nadira helped that lady give birth... It just turned me on, man!"
"That's sick!" Lucas turns on Nadira. "How could you do this?"
"Oh, but, Lucas honey... He's just so cute! I mean look at him, with that green hair, and that sweet little face... Don't you just wanna cuddle him?" Trip grins at her fatuously.
"No! I want to bash his face in!" Lucas raises a fist, then backs off as the bouncers menace him, threatening to mess up his hair.
"I love you, Nadira!" Trip cries. "Leave Lucas and be mine!"
"Oh, Trippy..." She gives him a melting look.
"Don't answer until you see our next guest," Jerry says. "Say hello to Katie Walker, the yellow Time Force Ranger!"
A roar and chant from the audience as Katie marches out, face furious, heading right for Trip and Nadira, who back away, looking terrified. As the bouncers move in, she shoves them out of her way as if they were feathers. "Trip, you two-timing, lousy, cheating, little green-haired freak..."
"But Katie, honey..."
"Don't 'Katie, honey' me! What are you doing with - with her?"
"I just couldn't resist..."
"What about us?" Katie seems about to cry now. "All those months, while we were fighting Ransik... Her father!" she finishes, glaring at Nadira, who is running her fingers through her hair obliviously.
"Well... Jen was in mourning for Alex... and then she was in love with Wes... you were the only other woman around... I didn't think it really meant anything..."
"What!" Katie glares speechlessly. "How could you?"
"I'm sorry!"
As she wipes away a tear, a tall, handsome, musclebound bouncer moves in, taps Katie on the shoulder, and respectfully offers her a tissue and a chair. She looks him up and down, smiles shakily, and sits. Peace of a sort returns to the stage.
"So, Trip, you and Nadira were cheating on Lucas-" Jerry points to the blue Ranger, who is pouting attractively. "And meanwhile you were cheating on Katie..." Katie appears not to be listening, as she and the bouncer make meaningful eye contact.
Having failed to start more violence, Jerry moves on. "Well, let's get to our last couple. Two more of the Time Force Rangers... Let's meet Wes Collins, the red Ranger, and Jen Scotts, the pink Ranger!"
Clapping, more hoots and whistles as the last two Rangers take the stage. Wes grins, shakes hands with the men, and gives Katie a peck on the cheek as she continues to check out the bouncer's butt. More chairs are brought for the newcomers.
"Wes and Jen. I think everyone will agree that you two are one of the major love stories of the Power Rangers," Jerry continues.
"If not the love story," Jen says proudly, taking Wes's hand.
"Yes. But it wasn't always like that, was it? In fact... when you arrived in Silver Hills in 2001, you were engaged, weren't you?"
"Well, yes. To Alex. But he was dead."
"And exactly how long did it take you to fall for your new boyfriend?"
"Um... it was... well, a few months..."
"A few months. After your fiancé had died to protect you and the entire world."
"Hey, don't talk to her like that! It wasn't her fault... we were under a lot of stress, fighting mutants and robots... And it wasn't easy living in a city that got trashed by zord battles every week!" Wes glares at Jerry indignantly.
"But you had the time to move in together, after only a few weeks, didn't you?"
"But - but it wasn't like that!" Jen exclaims. "Wes had to move out of his house! And all of us were living together!"
"All of you. Three men and two women, in a deserted clock tower, all living together." Jerry pauses and gives the audience a knowing look. "I won't even ask about the sleeping arrangements."
"Hey!" Wes yells furiously.
Jerry takes a step to stand in front of Jen. "But then, your supposedly dead fiancé showed up again. Not so dead, it turned out."
"I thought he was dead! The timeline shifted! It wasn't my fault!"
"Riiiight, the timeline shifted. How many times have we heard that excuse, folks?" Jerry gives the audience a skeptical glance, eyebrows lifted. They boo and hiss. "And guess who we have waiting to join us, brought here from the future just for this occasion... Alex Drake, the former red Time Force Ranger!" A roar as Alex walks in, the audience crying out in surprise as they see he looks exactly like Wes, except for darker hair.
"Hello, Jennifer. Wesley," Alex says unsmilingly, giving a brief nod to the others.
"Alex!" Jen gasps. Wes takes her hand firmly, frowning.
"So. Alex," Jerry continues. "You were engaged to Jen when you were seriously wounded, trying to stop Ransik. You sent her and her team after him. When you recovered, you tried to join the woman you love and your former teammates in 2001. What happened then?"
"I arrived in 2001, took back the morpher Wes was using - the one that belonged to me-" He glances disdainfully at Wes. "Took over as leader. They all rejected me. Worst of all, I could tell something was wrong with Jen. The way she and Wes looked at each other... Well, I know when I'm not wanted. My presence was disrupting the team, and the most important thing was fighting Ransik. So I gave back the morpher and returned to my own time."
"You gave up your morpher and your rightful place on the team, in order to stop a terrible menace, even though your fiancée had apparently fallen for your double, who's probably also your ancestor. Which is pretty kinky, when you think about it." Jerry paces for a bit, looking thoughtful and disturbed as Jen and Wes glare at him resentfully. "And what was your reward for this self-sacrifice?"
"Jen broke our engagement. Now she says she's in love with Wes." Boos and catcalls from the audience greet this statement.
Jen jumps up, very agitated. "No! I didn't mean to hurt you! It - it just happened!"
Wes leaps to his feet too. "And why didn't you tell them how you acted like a self-righteous bastard when you were in 2001, just moving in and giving orders?"
"We were facing a serious threat! Someone had to make you into real Time Force officers, after you and Jen destroyed team discipline with your fooling around!"
"Up-tight prick!"
"Spoiled rich brat!"
The bouncers move in as they start for each other, fists up. Order is restored with a few more angry curses, and the combatants sit down, still glaring.
"All right. However it happened, Wes, you and Jen are together now," Jerry says solemnly. All of the Rangers sit silently, sulking, except Katie who is winking and making kissy faces at her new bouncer beau. "But she might not be happy to know about the person you truly love... the love you've kept secret from her..."
"What?" Jen gasps, turning on Wes, who suddenly looks very guilty. "You've got another girl? Who is she?"
"Someone Wes is very close to, someone he sees every day, works with, side by side..."
"No! I can't believe you found out!" Wes gasps, looking close to tears.
"Wes, don't you have something to tell Jen? And... something to say to Eric?"
"Oh, my God..." Gaby says faintly.
"It's true," Wes says with a sob. "Ever since that final battle with Ransik, when Eric gave me his morpher... When we shook hands, it was like electricity. I've tried to resist, especially since I'm straight, but I just can't deny it any longer, even if he doesn't feel the same way."
"Wes!" Eric is on his feet. "But I do feel the same way. I always have."
"You do? But why did you act like you hated me for all those months?"
"I figured it was hopeless - so I tried to hide my feelings by insulting you, beating you up, and threatening to kill you."
"How sweet... I - I love you, Eric."
"I love you too..."
Wes stands up, he and Eric lock eyes, and slowly move closer together. The audience explodes in howls of delight and a few groans of homosexual panic as they kiss deeply and passionately, hugging and beginning to grope each other. The others just stare in shock, even Katie, who has just given her phone number to the bouncer.
"No! I gave up Alex for you, you son of a bitch!" Jen screams, and runs out in tears. Alex quietly stands up with a faint smile and goes after her.
Lucas glares at Gaby and says, "Are you just going to sit there and let them do that?"
She's staring, wide-eyed, at Wes and Eric, still kissing. "I wonder if they'd let me watch... I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?" she answers.
Jerry walks in front of the new couple and addresses the audience. "So, what have we learned here today? That honesty is vital to a good relationship? That true feelings, true love, can't be denied? Or..." He looks into the camera with a sincere expression, obviously about to come up with a profound truth. "That Power Rangers are only human, under the spandex?"
"No!" screams Taylor, who has returned from backstage, with Jen and Alex behind her. "We've learned that the greatest menace to civilization on this planet is you, Jerry Springer! Wild Access!" An instant later she is transformed into the yellow Wild Force Ranger, bulge and all.
Jen runs to joinher teammates, and all of them shout together, "Time for Time Force!" In a multicolored burst of light they become the Time Force Rangers.
"Quantum Power!" Eric is the last to morph, becoming the Quantum Ranger. He pulls out his blaster. The others all call for their weapons. Alex already has his Time Force blaster in his hand.
"Now, fellows, no need to get mad... Not my fault if you guys have weird problems..." Jerry says, backing away fearfully.
Taylor, Alex, and Jen nod to the others. All of them aim as one and fire, leaving Jerry a lifeless heap of slag. The audience jumps to its collective feet and gives the biggest round of applause and cheers yet. "Good work, Rangers!" Jen declares as they all demorph. "He was even more dangerous than Ransik!"
"Jen, I'm sorry," Wes says.
"It's all right, Wes, now I realize I belong in my own time, with Alex. Goodbye. I hope you'll be happy with - um - Eric." She takes Alex's arm as they walk offstage.
Eric has sidled over to Taylor. "So," he asks quietly. "How does this turning into a man thing work exactly? What happens if you take off the suit without demorphing?"
"You're disgusting!" she snarls, and stomps offstage.
"You're all disgusting!" Lucas growls. "I'm going home!"
"But Lucas, honey..." Nadira starts after him. He keeps going.
"Nadira, I love you!" Trip cries, running to catch her.
She casts a longing glance in Lucas's direction, but apparently decides that a Ranger in the hand is worth two in the bush. "Oh, well, you are cute..." she sighs, smiles at Trip and takes his arm as they leave.
Katie is leaving as well, smiling flirtatiously back at her bouncer and mouthing, 'Call me.'
"Gaby, I don't know what to say," Eric apologizes.
"Sheesh. How come all my boyfriends turn out to be mutants, psychos, or gay? I'm gonna go be an OC in Batman fics!" she mutters, giving him a last glare as she stalks offstage, unaware that she's about to jump from the frying pan into the fire.
"What was that with Taylor?" Wes demands as Eric faces him again.
"Just curious..." Eric grins and drapes an arm across Wes's shoulders as they start offstage. Their voices are heard trailing off. "You think that happens to Katie, too? Always wondered what she did with her tits when she morphs..."
"I think you're right. But don't ask her, partner, not if you want to keep your own equipment."