Chapter 31
-Mandy's POV
Trying to explain to Danny why her daddy had to go away for a month was like trying to explain to Missy why I had been out all night. There seemed to be an endless array of questions thrown at me, all of which I could not answer. She did, however, seem to like the fact that she would be moving in with me for the time being. Apparently, Adam failed to mention his plan to better himself to his friends. If they didn't hate me before, they certainly did when they found out how I had "corrupted" him. Their words, not mine, but by that point in time I was almost convinced that they actually thought that living off painkillers and pot was normal.
About halfway through Adam's thirty-day rehabilitation, I received a letter from him in the mail.
"Dear Mandy,
In group today we talked about apologizing to the people that you have hurt while on drugs. I know that I have hurt an awful lot of people, but I really needed to apologize to you again. I'm not really good at this sort of thing, and I know I've already said I was sorry, but...I was listening to the radio one time and I heard this song and it probably explains things better than I can. Here goes:
Stranger than your sympathy. This is my apology. I'm killing myself from the inside out, and all my fears have pushed you out. I wish for things that I don't need, all I wanted. And what I chase won't set me free, all I wanted. And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees. Oh yeah, everything's all wrong. Yeah, everything's all wrong. Yeah, where the hell did I think I was? Stranger than your sympathy. I take these things so I don't feel. I'm killing myself from the inside out. Now my head's been filled with doubt. It's hard to lead the life you choose, all I wanted. When all your luck's run out on you, all I wanted. You can't see when all your dreams are coming true. Oh yeah, it's easy to forget. Yeah, you choke on the regrets. Yeah, who the hell did I think I was? Stranger than your sympathy. All these thoughts you stole from me. I'm not sure where I belong. Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong. And I wasn't all the things I tried to make believe I was. And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted. And all the talk and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me.
And all of my dreams were coming true. I was up for the title, my daughter was finally in my life after five years, and I had you. I don't know who I thought I was or why I thought I could get away with hurting you. Anyway, I just thought you should know that. It's been rough in here, but I'm getting there. I hope everything is well with you. Tell Danny that I miss her and I love her and I'll be out in 15 days to see her.
Love,
Adam"
I couldn't help but cry reading the words that he so carefully chose. Thinking about how horrible going through detoxification must be gave me a headache. I felt so sorry for him because I knew it must have been hell. Actually, I didn't know. If you ask him about it now he'll tell you that it is indescribably horrible which makes me feel even worse. I wished that I could have been there more for him, but I knew there wasn't anything that I could have done besides make sure Danny was taken care of. It's best to leave it to the professionals when it comes to detox. I probably just would have screwed it up anyway. Danny crawled up next to me onto my bed.
"What are you reading?" She asked getting under the covers with me. I put my arm around her and kissed her on the forehead.
"Just a letter from daddy. Do you want me to read it to you?" She nodded. As I began reading the words to her I knew that it was going to be torture for me to have to tell Adam that I was leaving.
(A/N-R&R...the end is nearing! 3 more chapters left! Hope everyone enjoys them! Lyrics belong to the Goo Goo Dolls.)
-Mandy's POV
Trying to explain to Danny why her daddy had to go away for a month was like trying to explain to Missy why I had been out all night. There seemed to be an endless array of questions thrown at me, all of which I could not answer. She did, however, seem to like the fact that she would be moving in with me for the time being. Apparently, Adam failed to mention his plan to better himself to his friends. If they didn't hate me before, they certainly did when they found out how I had "corrupted" him. Their words, not mine, but by that point in time I was almost convinced that they actually thought that living off painkillers and pot was normal.
About halfway through Adam's thirty-day rehabilitation, I received a letter from him in the mail.
"Dear Mandy,
In group today we talked about apologizing to the people that you have hurt while on drugs. I know that I have hurt an awful lot of people, but I really needed to apologize to you again. I'm not really good at this sort of thing, and I know I've already said I was sorry, but...I was listening to the radio one time and I heard this song and it probably explains things better than I can. Here goes:
Stranger than your sympathy. This is my apology. I'm killing myself from the inside out, and all my fears have pushed you out. I wish for things that I don't need, all I wanted. And what I chase won't set me free, all I wanted. And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees. Oh yeah, everything's all wrong. Yeah, everything's all wrong. Yeah, where the hell did I think I was? Stranger than your sympathy. I take these things so I don't feel. I'm killing myself from the inside out. Now my head's been filled with doubt. It's hard to lead the life you choose, all I wanted. When all your luck's run out on you, all I wanted. You can't see when all your dreams are coming true. Oh yeah, it's easy to forget. Yeah, you choke on the regrets. Yeah, who the hell did I think I was? Stranger than your sympathy. All these thoughts you stole from me. I'm not sure where I belong. Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong. And I wasn't all the things I tried to make believe I was. And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted. And all the talk and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me.
And all of my dreams were coming true. I was up for the title, my daughter was finally in my life after five years, and I had you. I don't know who I thought I was or why I thought I could get away with hurting you. Anyway, I just thought you should know that. It's been rough in here, but I'm getting there. I hope everything is well with you. Tell Danny that I miss her and I love her and I'll be out in 15 days to see her.
Love,
Adam"
I couldn't help but cry reading the words that he so carefully chose. Thinking about how horrible going through detoxification must be gave me a headache. I felt so sorry for him because I knew it must have been hell. Actually, I didn't know. If you ask him about it now he'll tell you that it is indescribably horrible which makes me feel even worse. I wished that I could have been there more for him, but I knew there wasn't anything that I could have done besides make sure Danny was taken care of. It's best to leave it to the professionals when it comes to detox. I probably just would have screwed it up anyway. Danny crawled up next to me onto my bed.
"What are you reading?" She asked getting under the covers with me. I put my arm around her and kissed her on the forehead.
"Just a letter from daddy. Do you want me to read it to you?" She nodded. As I began reading the words to her I knew that it was going to be torture for me to have to tell Adam that I was leaving.
(A/N-R&R...the end is nearing! 3 more chapters left! Hope everyone enjoys them! Lyrics belong to the Goo Goo Dolls.)