Disclaimer : I do not own J'onn J'onzz or Justice League...I do
own the video of 'Secret Origins' however ^^ You can find a great website based
on the series at http://jl.toonzone.net/
Authors notes : I am amazed by the reviews, sure there are five, which
to some authors may seem like a drop in the ocean, but for a single chapter,
these are the most reviews I've received. This chapter is a bit shorter than
the last, since I wanted to put something up, but rest assured, the next
chapter is in the works ^^
If you notice the better formatting, that's my beta readers job *hugs
Matt*...go check his work out...I command you! ::
http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=154939
But before the fanfic, I just want to say a few things...bear with me people...
The whole purpose of this fanfic, for me writing it, is that I don't believe
J'onn could just walk away after the events in that episode [A Knight of
Shadows] without anything happening, as we've seen in past episodes, J'onn
cares deeply for the wellbeing of his friends, and since his actions almost
cost their lives then, I think J'onn would be deeply affected, even if he
doesn't show it outwardly.
Evidence of this I think is shown in 'Injustice for all' [Spoilers] when J'onn
allows Batman to leave the watchtower. He soon finds out that Batman has been
captured by Lex Luthor and his gang, and when the Justice League are gathered
on the rooftop outside where the Injustice Gang are hiding, he phases through
the building to try and rescue him, despite the others protests. In other
episodes, J'onn listens to ideas/plans by the other members before they act.
Why not then. Simple answer, he feels guilty...because Batman had just been
cured from the venom and still he let him leave. So he feels it is partly his
fault that Batman was captured. So when he almost dooms his friends' lives, you
can expect him to feel a great deal of guilt. Remember also that he is the last
of his kind and unlike Superman, would remember how he came to be that way.
I think J'onn is a very complex character, and I try to keep that in mind, as
well as keep him in character.
Oh, and one last question. In 'Paradise Lost' Diana says it's been 8 months
since she left Themiscyra, how long do you think it's been since then until
now...and the whole first season in all...
Recovery
Chapter two - Reluctance
- - - - -
If
we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defences
And secret hiding places
Savage Garden - Hold me
- - - - -
People who amassed great wealth.
People with great power.
These were what the league usually battled against, from the day they faced the
Imperium, to their battles with the Manhunters, Felix Faust and most recently,
against Le Fay and her son Mordrid. All these fights seemed to be against those
with superhuman abilities equal perhaps to their own.
But they didn't just deal with these situations. If needed, Superman and the
others would always be willing to lend a hand with a natural disaster. Whenever
this happened, the necessity of leaving somebody behind at the watchtower was
needed in case of any other emergency.
J'onn allowed himself to sit down by the computer consoles, his tall form
leaning slightly back in the chair as it sagged under his weight. Had Batman or
any of the others had been around, he would not have allowed himself to do
this, but he was alone right now. Knowing that the alarms would alert him if
anything happened, J'onn let his eyes close, trying to reach that meditative
state that he desperately wanted, but continued to allude him.
It had been a week since that nightmare, it had not been the first, and
it would not be the last. Subconscious memories from his family on mars being
killed by the invaders, where his pyromania had first reared its ugly head.
Right now the nightmares continued from where the last had ended, and like that
first one, he would awaken, breathing ragged, drenched with sweat and unable to
find any peace, meditation could help, so J'onn forced himself to try and use
it. But lack of sleep and the eventual images he would see after closing his
eyes for a few moments would not let him find it.
Images of destruction, tormenting him every
time he slept, every time he tried to meditate, any time he wanted, so
desperately NEEDED to try and escape these demons. But nothing helped. The only
way he could be free of the nightmares was by constantly staying awake, and
staying active.
He would go to the monitor tower and run routine checks, take the watch over
from one of the others, even putting the thought in their minds that they were
tired. When he felt they were getting worried about this, he would spend time
in cities around the world in a human guise.
And when he was finally too tired to do anything, he would go to his quarters,
lie down, hoping that his exhausted body would stop his mind from creating any
more nightmares. But even with his mind and body sapped of almost all their
strength, enough remained to give an almost realistic experience of the
nightmares.
The horrible scenario which began in the first dream, unfolded to be what his
unconscious mind believed would have happened if he had given Le Fay the stone.
And though after that, each dream was different, the outcome remained the same.
They were dead, and it was his fault.
In the last week, J'onn had gotten little rest, enough to stop him from falling
every time he stood up, but so little that anything he did had to be given
every single piece of concentration he possessed. If he allowed his mind to
wander for just a moment, he fell the risk of his friends realising something
was wrong. He knew in his core that revealing his problem would be the best
thing, but the visions prevented him from doing so.
So weary he was at that moment, that he did not even realise his descent into sleep, his body relaxing.
- - - - -
This time he stood on a planet, he knew, immediately that it was not earth. The dry, red ground was cracked, abandoned buildings could be seen for a great distance, some still standing, others merely pieces of rubble. Some sort of battle had taken place here, and as J'onn let his gaze wander, he knew where he was.
The planet was War World.
The last time he remembered being here was after he and Superman had been captured to be used as slaves, simply for the purpose of fighting to provide entertainment for the inhabitants of the planet nearby where the tyrannical Mongol ruled.
The strange atmosphere, which had seemed to feed upon his very life, clouding his senses and decreasing his energy. He had needed Superman's assistance to escape the slave cells and did not even have the strength to fly. Only the minute portion he possessed to phase through the force field had stopped him from being re-captured.
As Superman had.
J'onn had a feeling that if he had been
recaptured, his dwindling strength and powers would not have given him the
power needed to survive a battle on the planetoid. Even though he had escaped,
his attempts to trick the guards to destroy the deadly machine used to keep
Draaga under Mongol's control would have been useless had Green Lantern and
Hawkgirl not arrived seconds after his identity had been discovered.
Thankfully they had, and soon after assisted him and Superman in defeating
Mongol, and with the deadly weapon destroyed, Draaga had taken charge of the
situation, after Superman had told him that now that Mongol held no control
over his planet, that he could try and undo the damage the tyrant had caused.
It had taken J'onn two days to regain his
full strength.
Now however, he wondered why he was here...how had he got here...
And as a feeling of dread embedded itself in his stomach, he wondered why Superman was lying on his back amongst the rubble.
Unmoving.
Standing over him, a triumphant grin on
his face, was Mongol.
As he saw this, J'onn became aware that as well as Superman, both Hawkgirl and
Green Lantern also lay motionless, Mongol was preoccupied with his triumph over
his enemy and did not see J'onn creep stealthy across the terrain until he came
to the closest person. As soon as he looked, he knew she was dead. Hawkgirl's
neck bent at an unnatural angle, but there were no other visible injuries, save
a small trickle of blood, already dried, down her cheek.
Green Lantern had been killed the same way as Hawkgirl.
J'onn turned his head away from this in shame, he should have been there to stop this...
He made his way towards Superman; almost
there he stopped still as Mongol turned, staring straight at him. He smirked,
then from out of nowhere, brandished some sort of energy weapon at J'onn, who
was caught off guard, crying out in pain as the energy coursed through his
veins, every part of his body was on fire and it seemed like an eternity until
the pain stopped and he fell to the ground.
Mongol said nothing as he took one last glance at the motionless body of
Superman, then turned to J'onn.
But he did not have to speak, for his look told J'onn all he needed to know.
He had lost, Mongol had won.
And it was his fault.
- - - - -
J'onn awoke suddenly, beads of sweat trickled down his face and his breathing
came in unsteady gasping, trying to gain control. What had roused him from his
terror was the flashing red light on the console in front of him, as well as flickering,
it emitted a steady beeping. Realising it was the communications connecting the
watchtower to the Javelin, he hoped that it had not been doing so for long.
As soon as he pressed it, Superman's voice came over the comm., clear and loud.
"J'onn...are you alright, you didn't answer straight away..."
"I am fine" J'onn replied, wishing inwardly that he would admit
otherwise, but did not want to worry them. A check of the systems showed he had
answered almost thirty seconds after Superman had activated the link. As he
relayed to J'onn that they were returning from assisting with the earthquake,
J'onn tried to think up an excuse for not answering immediately. As Superman
finished, J'onn relayed that there had been signs of another earthquake, but that
it had not been severe enough to warrant their attention.
Accepting this, Superman broke off the comm. link and J'onn sat back down in the chair for their return.
- - - - -
The next few days proceeded the same as the last week. J'onn managed to keep up his facade, though there had been a few close calls.
Diana had been walking down the corridor just as J'onn exited his quarters after awakening from another nightmare, she noticed his sweating and shaking arms before he could stop and asked what was wrong. Exhausted, J'onn did not have the mental strength to plant a suggestion in her mind, becoming increasingly reluctant to use this tactic because of the guilt he felt deceiving his friends.
Instead, he explained he had been using a
meditative exercise and that it took a great deal of concentration and energy.
When Diana inquired as to what it was meant to achieve, J'onn told her it was
to keep his mental abilities sharp.
Diana did not seem to accept this with as much trust as Superman had before,
but nodded and suggested he rest. J'onn returned to his quarters, sure that had
he simply walked onwards, tired as he had been, her suspicion would have been
assured. Too exhausted to enter a full meditative state, he knew sleep was
desperately needed, J'onn allowed himself to sink into a light trance, where he
could gain rest...not enough to recover fully, but so that he could function.
For the time being.
It was only a matter of time before he would be unable to keep the facade up any longer.