Note: Because ffnet was down when I finished this part,
well... I've had a few days to catch up on sleep. Chapter 11 should be ready by tomorrow.
the tension riseth... we also get the reasoning behind the PG-13...
Chapter 10
Bonds
* * * * *
Now they stood there, easily caught. I could see that Willow had nothing to hide. She was always straightforward and always defending me, as a true friend would. Xander stood near her, his head cocked, his eyes wide with loathing. He would have been on my side too, I decided. Spike, of course, wasn't. I had heard every filthy, disgusting word. My eyes narrowed as I looked at him. I had the overwhelming desire to stake him, but forced my feet to remain grounded. Anya stood next to Xander, cradling her bleeding arm, her eyes wide. She would have remained neutral. Rumors were like the breath of life for her, yet she knew me well enough to know I wouldn't sleep with my Watcher.
Hell, I even knew I wouldn't sleep with him. Didn't I?
They were still standing there, staring at me. I finally let out a long, pent up breath and glanced at them. "I'm not angry at you," I said in a quiet, calm voice. I saw three of them visibly relax. Spike knew he was in trouble. I turned my infuriated eyes to him. "Ask me again why I could never love you."
It was my quietest tone of voice, and he flinched, his eyes looking down. "You had me under the impression that you and Giles were, well, shacked together..."
"Do you honestly think that me and Giles would do anything like that?" I asked, the hurt obvious in my voice. "Me and Giles?"
"Not at all," Willow insisted, throwing Spike her patented look. "We were just worried about you, Buffy."
"I'm fine," I insisted. "I went to see Giles tonight to apologize to him for being such a jerk. I was angry because he thought that Spike should run the show for a few nights while I got my bearings about me. It rained while I walked to his house. He offered me his shower and some shirt that felt like I was wearing dragon scales. Nothing happened between us." I turned to Spike and forced myself to look contrite. "I'm sorry Spike for leading you to think that we were together or doing anything inappropriate."
His eyes widened and his hand, cradling a cigarette, trembled slightly. "What?"
"I'm sorry," I said, glancing down again. "I really am. Giles and I are nothing more than really good friends. He's more like a... godfather to me."
"We should go home soon," Willow said softly. "It's after midnight. We have to work tomorrow."
Xander and Anya exchanged a glance. "I'll take her home on my bike."
"I'll ride with Willow," I said quickly, before Spike could even think to offer me a drive home. As I walked away, he took my arm.
"I'm sorry I said those things about you. In all my life, I haven't met a fighter like you."
Anya began choking out something that sounded suspiciously like "Jealous git." I didn't quite hear it. I didn't want to hear it.
"I haven't met such an arrogant demon either," I said stiffly as he flinched and hardened next to me. "You're an equal to me. You're a partner. Don't expect anything more."
He stared at me as I opened the passenger door to Willow's car. "I'll keep that in mind."
"You do just that," I snapped, sliding in beside Willow and closing the door. She started the car and drove around both motorcycles, her face reflected in the light of the headlights.
"Buffy?" she asked gently as she turned the corner. "What really is going on between you and Giles?"
"It's something," I finally admitted, crossing my arms. "It's not what Spike thinks or even wants to think, but it's turned into something else since I woke up. Did you know that I've seen him for the first time today, without his shirt on?"
"What was that like?" Willow asked, although she balked at the thought of Giles half-naked.
"He looked... young, wild, free..." I said, finding it slightly hard to explain. "He was singing and playing his guitar. He was singing a song from The Who. And he looked so passionate about it. It was like I'd never seen him before. It was... different. You should see him in leather."
"While I accept the fact that your Watcher does have some qualifying looks, a blow-by-blow account of a half-naked Giles isn't exactly what I had in mind. That and the mention of Giles in leather. He's... he's Giles!"
"I know!" I said. "That's my point! It wasn't bad looking. He looked like something off the cover of one of those fantastic romance novels."
"You fantasized about Giles? You fantasized about Giles?"
I tried to ignore the shock in her voice. "When I was in a coma, I had dreams about different things. My spirit guides were trying to tell me different things that would help me in my Slaying. They told me that you and Tara would help me because of your powers. They told me that Xander perceives danger and darkness differently than we do and that we need him. They even told me that Spike was a key fighter in case I fell again. Lastly... they told me that Giles would be the one that would hold me together."
Willow thought a moment, considering my words. "You fantasized about Giles?"
"Broken record," I mumbled. "I didn't fantasize about him. My spirit guides told me to trust him. Which is why I went back to his apartment and apologized to him. And for some reason, Spike saw me in his shirt, put two and two together in a totally wrong way, and thought we'd... slept together."
We both sat there a moment, our faces full of the visions.
"Have you ever fantasized about that?" Willow asked me, a tentative edge to her voice.
"Sometimes I've wondered..."
Buffy was on one side of my bedroom door. Willow was on the other. The seemed to be discussing something terribly important because the moment my door was opened their mouths snapped shut and they went in the separate directions to their bedrooms, Buffy in hers and Willow in hers and Tara's.
I was confused now. I tried to recollect what they'd been saying. Something about fantasizing. Fantasizing about who? I decided to follow Buffy to her room. She was just washing her face in the bathroom when she saw my reflection on the mirror in front of her. "You're up early."
"Got an early wake-up call," I replied in a soft voice. She turned to me, her eyes blazing with concern. I didn't want any of her concern or worries. All I wanted was the truth. "Who are you fantasizing about?"
She looked like she was going to ignore it but after a moment she turned to me, a thoughtful expression crossing her face. "What have you heard?"
"Me?" I asked. Me, hear anything? What a joke! Even if the apocalypse was coming, Buffy would pull me aside so I wouldn't find out until after the world was sucked into hell. "You and Spike..."
"Why does it always have to be between me and Spike?" she asked in a wounded voice, brushing her hair, her eyes reproachfully meeting mine in the mirror. "Why can't it happen between me and anyone else?" I noticed she was glancing down and picking the hairs from her brush now. "It could be between me and Angel."
"Puh-lease," I grunted, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. "You two are so over."
She nodded and that flicker of a smile met her lips graciously. "I thought so myself."
"Who is it?" I asked, suddenly very curious. "You know everything about my love life, yet I never get to find out anything of yours."
Buffy dropped her hairbrush. "I don't have one just yet. I've been awake from a nine month coma for less than a week and suddenly we're back to my lovelife. What about my sanity? My friendships? Family? Jobs? College? I feel like I'm living in a version of a soap opera!"
I watched as she stalked to her bedroom. I followed closely behind. "I don't think anything like that about you."
She turned to me. "Sex! It's always about sex, isn't it?"
"What?" I gasped, stopping. I almost thought my heart had stopped beating. "You... sex? You? Sex?"
"I'm sorry," she deadpanned. "I didn't mean to say that. Dawn, just... go back to bed."
"Now? This was getting so good."
"Dawn!"
"Please. I have to know. I'll talk to your friends. I'll talk to Spike."
"You will not talk to Spike. Bloody hell, Dawn, have I taught you anything?"
"You talk like him? I guess the sex part is off limits until, what, he acts human?"
"I'm not in love with Spike!"
"Sure, say that now. Obviously you do have a paramour, and I'd like to know who he is."
"Okay," Buffy said, finally giving up. "You really want to know who's rocking my world? You want to know the one person I haven't been able to keep my mind off? You want to know the one person who will do just about anything for me?" She dropped her voice. "Forget it."
"Buffy," I said gently, sitting down next to her and taking her hand. "You're my sister. I love you. I'm worried about you."
"I know, Dawnie," she said, sharing one of her awesome smiles with me as her hand gently touched my hair. "Sometimes I still think of you as a little girl. But you're so grown up."
"Buffy..."
"Giles," she finally said, in a hollow voice. "It's Giles."