Gaz is Spirited Away
By: Cartman's Girl

Chapter Three: Obtaining a Job

Skoodge lead Gaz through the basement. It was full of parcels, probably full of bath products and food. Who knew, for Gaz didn't have time to stop and look through parcels. She stopped to look up, and her eyes opened. It was now apparent how huge the bath house was, height wise. Rickety old elevators operated, and Skoodge pressed a button and one fell to his assistance.

"C'mon human. We have to go to the top floor, that's where Ms. Bitters lives." Skoodge held the door open as Gaz followed and he shut the doors. Lifting on a lever to his right, the elevator shot up quicker then Gaz thought. She put her hands to a railing, to which Skoodge stated, "You want to loose your fingers?"

"Shut up." Gaz muttered, letting her arms hang by her sides.

"Hey, you don't realise how much we're putting on the line here. Seriously." Skoodge glared, still holding onto the lever. Gaz rolled her eyes, and glanced to the side. At that moment they passed the main workers area. Where they slept, got dressed and prepared for work. The next couple of levels were of the actual bath house. Spirits rested in round baths, as workers attended to them. Wether it be bringing them food, or giving them a manicure.

Finally they stopped, and Skoodge yanked Gaz out by the hand. He hurried her down a hallway, and into another elevator just as it was emptied by the greeting women Gaz had seen before. Up they went again.

"How many floors does this place have?" she asked.

"A lot." Skoodge's only response was. The elevator stopped again, but this time they came face to stomach with a pure white creature. He was looming over the two, and was rather chubby. What looked like a moustache hung around it's mouth, but was actually part of it's body. It only wore a red loincloth, and a red bowl on it's head with lettuce beneath. "…the Radish Spirit…!" Skoodge declared, forcing a grin.

"Ugghhhnnn…?" the Radish Spirit asked, pointing upwards.

"Sorry sir, this elevator doesn't go any higher. You'll have to take another one." Once again Gaz found herself being lead along by Skoodge, along a bridge too. She glanced over her shoulder, to see the Radish Spirit following them.

"Great, he's following us." She muttered.

"Ignore him." Skoodge instructed. They headed towards an elevator, and waited. The Radish Spirit followed, and waited besides Skoodge. It opened up, and these… noodle like spirits pass, (at this point Skoodge moved in front of Gaz) and following them is a red haired ex-human boy known as… Keef.

"All righty buddies just go on right through to the right 'n you'll find your rooms!" he grinned after them, then stopped. He sniffed the air, and turned his head around with a 'click' and stared at Skoodge. "Skoodge?"

"What?" Skoodge asked, sounding annoyed. Gaz smirked at the green guy, but then he shoved her into the elevator where the Radish Spirit walked in afterwards, hiding Gaz from sight.

"What's that smell buddy ole pal? There's some smell 'n it smells like a human! SKOODGE! Oh my God you smell like a human!" Keef was doing a bizarre little hop from foot to foot, and Skoodge just glared at him with arms folded.

"Right." He rolled his eyes, then glanced at the elevator. "To go up just lift the lever to your right." Inside, Gaz; who was partly squished against the walls by the Radish Spirit's fatness. She muffled a reply and reached for the lever as Keef continued his bizarre interrogation of Skoodge.

"You're hiding something I know it! What is it?? Huh huh huh? Show meeeee!" Keef whined pathetically, Skoodge rolled his eyes and pulled the deep-fried taco out of his shirt.

"Is this what you're after?" he asked. Keef's eyes widened, and drool began pouring down his front forming a big puddle on the ground.

"Deep… fried… TACO!" Keef grabbed for it, but Skoodge backed up. The silver device on his back, which Gaz hadn't noticed before, opened and four skinny metal legs folded out. They lifted Skoodge up above Keef's height, waving the taco teasingly.

"No way Keef. I'm going to keep every bite to myself."

"PLEASE?? I'll be your friend!"

"No."

"Oh you're MEAN. C'mon!" Keef jumped up pathetically, grabbing at the taco as best he can; but it was just out of his reach. "Just a nibble??" at this point, Gaz grasped onto the lever and pushed it up. The elevator closed and headed up. Skoodge thus shoved the whole taco into his mouth and chewed.

"Aw…" Keef cried. Skoodge thus began to choke.

Up in the elevator, Gaz kept to herself; staring at the highly interesting floor and trying not to think about the big white blob pushing his weight on her. The elevator stopped, and the two looked out. It was a long hallway, on either way you could see through the paper-thin walls the silhouettes of spirits talking. The Radish Spirit pushed the lever, and they went higher.

Once again it stopped. The two looked out. It was a giant room with fancy paintings on the walls. Fancy yes, but with a hint of foreboding horror in them. Like a photo of a fancy lady walking along in the woods, but in the darkness you see glowing eyes and teeth. Gaz stepped out, and the Radish Spirit vanished back into the elevator and down.

"Nice tastes." She glanced at the pure black carpet, with diamonds sewn into it. She walked up a small set of steps to a pair of giant blood red doors. An ugly knocker hung on one door. Gaz reached for the handles, when the knocker suddenly spoke up.

"You're not even going to KNOCK?!" it screeched, making Gaz jump back. "You're one of the most pathetic humans I've ever seen!" the doors suddenly shot open. It revealed a narrow room, with another door. It's door opened. This happened at least four times. From within the darkness of beyond, a hissing voice spoke out.

"Well. Come in." Gaz stood there for a while, wondering if Red's idea about seeing this Ms. Bitters was such a good idea or not. The voice spoke up again, now sounding annoyed. "I said come IN!" the force of someone grabbing her shirt startled Gaz, and found herself being dragged through the rooms quickly. As she passed a door, it slammed behind her. Passing giant vases, she was yanked down another hallway. She found herself tripping up on a carpet and ending up sprawled on the floor.

"Hey don't DO that!" she groaned, rubbing her head. She sat up, and saw three heads sat before her. They were just heads. Brown curly hair hung down their heads, thick beards around their mouths and pupils glasses on their nose. "WHAT the?!"

"Z?" they spoke out, and started hopping around her like deranged ping-pongs. Gaz stepped back, swatting at them but they continued hopping around. A voice spoke from the darkness, the same snake voice.

"SILENCE! I can't hear myself THINK!" the heads did as they were told. Gaz looked up, as she did a light shun down from somewhere upon a table. It was a very tall table, nearly reaching the ceiling. Sat at it was a very skinny woman with glasses on her pointy nose. Her hair was tied back in a bun, and she was writing on papers while piles of diamonds sat on the table. There was a great deal of silence. Gaz coughed.

"So. I came here to get a job from you." She looked up at the giant table, Ms. Bitters stopped her writing and leant over the table to stare at her. She then moved her hand, like she was zipping a zipper. Gaz found out what she was doing, when she found she had no use of her mouth. She grabbed at her mouth, trying to open it.

"I don't want to hear such a stupid request. You, are a pathetic weakling! There is no place for humans here." Came the grouchy reply. Gaz glared up at the woman, feeling herself shaking with anger. If she could get up to her level she'd give her a good deal of dooming. That'd show her. "It's a bathhouse, for the spirits. They come here to replenish themselves and get AWAY from humans. You humans always mess everything up anyway, like your father and brother!" Gaz's eyes widened at the mention of the two.

"Gobbling up the spirit's food, making PIGS of themselves. They got what they deserved." Ms. Bitters pulled a long cigarette out of a drawer, and lit it with a light that appeared on her finger. "And you should be punished too." She took in a deep breath of cigarette, and blew out more smoke then expected. "I could make you into a piglet like your brother… or, maybe a lump of coal?" Gaz was still shaking, the anger rising. "Heh. I can see you shake from here. In fact, I'm almost impressed you made it this far. But I'm SURE you didn't make it by yourself, humans aren't capable of such thoughts! So why don't we thank who got you here?" Gaz felt her mouth open again.

"GIVE ME A JOB!" she shrieked. Ms. Bitters slammed her hands on her desk.

"Don't start THAT again!" she screamed back.

"I JUST WANT TO WORK YOU OLD COW!" Gaz screamed. Everything around Ms. Bitters began to shake suddenly, like a giant gust of wind suddenly entered the room.

"Don't… SAY THAT!" the pens and papers flew in all directions, and suddenly she whipped out from the darkness. Her body warped into something like a snake, and she circled around Gaz; fangs protruding from her jaws and a snake tongue slipping out.

"Why would I give you a job!? Anybody can see you're a bossy, bull-headed, conceited worthless anger box and you have no manners! This is a place of business, and I have all the lazy workers I need!" her scaly dress wrapped around Gaz, and she stood there stone-faced. She then felt the hot stinking breath of Ms. Bitters around her, "Although… I could give you the worst job I have and work you until you breath your very last breath…"

BOOM.

Both froze, Ms. Bitters' eyes widening and her body snapped back to that of a human; her clawed fingers at Gaz's neck. Then a very high-pitched wailing sound filled the room.

"Look what you did!" she screeched at Gaz, "You woke the baby!" a green door that was besides Bitters desk was suddenly kicked in, a giant shadowed foot had kicked it in causing the curtains on it to stumble and fall. It kicked again, wailing at the top of it's lungs as the desk toppled to the side throwing boxes of jewels all over. Ms. Bitters rushed to the door, grabbing the drapes and hiding whatever was behind it. "Quiet! Mommy's here, so shut up now!" she turned to see Gaz still stood in the room. "What're you still doing here?!"

"I'm not leaving until you give me a job." Gaz glared.

"All right fine!" Ms. Bitters was thus kicked in the head by the shadowed foot, "Oh that's it! Mommy's coming to get you!" the voice was attempting to sound sweet, but sounded demonic either way. She vanished into the hidden room, leaving Gaz stood there with the three heads. She stared at them, and they stared back. A piece of paper and a pen suddenly floated to Gaz's hands. She squinted at the tiny writing. At that moment Ms. Bitters re-entered the room and started waving her hands. Everything began fixing itself. "That's your contract, go on. Sign your name away."

"Right…" Gaz lowered the paper to the floor and began signing her name.

"I can't believe I took that oath. Giving a job to anyone who asks, I HATE being so nice." She pulled on a rope, which made a ringing sound. Her table was back to normal, as was the drapes and curtains and doors. She clicked her fingers, and the paper Gaz had signed flew to her hands. "So. Your name's Gaz Membrane, hmm?" she asked.

"Yes." Came the gruff reply.

"Such a pretty name." Ms. Bitters gushed falsely, and waved her hand over the paper. Unseen to Gaz, her letters lifted from the paper and into her hand. It left the name Gemmae. "And it belongs to ME now. From now on your name is Gemmae. You got that? ANSWER ME GEMMAE!"

"Yes… ma'am." The newly named Gemmae muttered.

"And if I hear one word of complaint you'll join your family in the pig pen." Zim suddenly appeared in the room.

"Did you call for me?" he asked, sounding irate.

"This girl's signed a contract, send her to work." Ms. Bitters explained in a bored tone, already at her desk again.

"Yes sir! What's your name human?" Zim looked at Gaz, as if he'd never seen her before.

"Ga-I mean Gemmae." Gaz corrected herself. What an ugly name.

"Right. Follow me Gemmae." He lead her from the room, and right into an elevator and he slammed the lever down, causing the elevator to travel at fast speed. Gaz barely flinched, but glanced over at Zim.

"Zim, look I-"

"Do NOT talk to me. And you will refer to me as Master Zim. Do you understand?" he asked, sounding rather nasty towards her. Gaz glared at him, then looked to the floor. Geeze what an ass. He lead her out into the entrance hall of the bathhouse, where all the workers were collected. There were the greeting women who became manicurists and back scrubbers, males who served and cooked the food, and the Forman with the Head Man. The Forman was another one of the green antennaed creatures, but was rather… small.

"What? No way! We don't wanna have a human working for us! I don't care if we get in trouble or not!" he scowled.

"She's under contract. You have to put her to work no matter what." Zim snarled. This caused everyone there to gasp and whisper like it was a giant conspiracy. A girl with purple hair, one of the greeters, waved her hand in front of her nose.

"We do NOT want her in our department!" she piped up, "She'd stink up the whole place!" everyone seemed to agree, murmuring to each other. Zim slammed his foot onto the ground, cracking a floorboard and everyone fell silent.

"SILENCE! She will work! A couple of days eating our food and her smell will go. And if she doesn't work hard enough. Cook her. Roast her. Boil her. Do whatever you want with her. But she WILL work." Everyone began to disperse, heading to clean up after a long night's work. "Now. Where's Skoodge?"

"What!? Don't dump her on me!" Skoodge piped up, as he stood leant against a door frame.

"Heh heh, great! Give the human to Skoodge!" said the Forman, whose name was Bob. If you were wondering.

"You were complaining about needing an assistant. So here she is." Zim looked to Gaz, "Go with Skoodge. He will show you around."

"Ugh fine. You owe me on Master Zim, don't forget that!" Skoodge shook his finger. Gaz glanced back at Zim as he turned and began talking to Bob. Skoodge grabbed her shoulder and yanked her out of the room and down a hallway. Once they were outside the sleeping room, he turned to her. His voice suddenly became chipper, and happier. "You did it, I can't believe it but you did it!"

"What?" Gaz asked in the sudden change of character.

"You're such a dope human, I was really worried about you for a while." He noticed a flinch from Gaz, and his antennae stood up. "What's wrong with you now?"

"…I don't feel too well."

"Ew, human germs."

[Well! Gaz has landed herself a job in the bathhouse, clearly against Ms. Bitters plans. And what's up Zim's ass? Read on!]