This will be a fairly short, sweet little Interlude in the story, a sign that things are beginning to lighten up a bit from the depths of the angst.  It seems that I've developed a trait for backtracking each chapter – I did it last time and I'll be doing it again now. 

This is going to be a first person narrative from Yasha's point of view – my very first POV story, actually.  Although this is an interlude on the actual plotline, it'll explain certain things, such as his death, his feelings, and a bit more detail over Videl and Gohan's time in the field, as well as their budding relationship.  (Yes, this is getting a little more on the romance side, but don't worry – it'll still be plenty angsty. ^__^)

So with no further ado…

                                      An Interlude:

                                                   Angel Standing By

                                                                               -Jewel

     I stare down at you, as you cradle my lifeless body in your arms, screaming your anguish.  Why does this have to hurt so much?  I don't want to leave you; I want to stay by your side forever!  Your pain is so unbearable…  I love you so much Vidy!  I only want your happiness.  Can't you see that? 

     But all you see is my body, motionless in your arms.  All you see is my blood, staining your hands.  All you see is death.

     As you lay my body on the ground, you're so careful!  You act as if I'm not really dead, as if I can still feel pain if you bump me too hard.  I can only stand and watch as you take off after Kijin, intent on delivering justice.  Oh sister…  Don't you understand?  It's all my fault that I'm dead…  If I hadn't been so trusting…

     Oh, I'm not at all adverse to you destroying him.  What he did to me goes beyond simple murder…  But what I would tell you would only break your heart more.  So I watch with a smile as the bullet is fired, and I will look forward to seeing him join me in death.  But does it really have to be at the cost of so much pain for you?  You are an upholder of justice – not a killer!  To give up your values for me both honors and scares me.

     As you walk back to my body, I can see death still lingering in your eyes.  I can tell you aren't satisfied yet, and I start to worry.  Remember what I told you, nee-chan?  That I love you so much, that you are my world, and that I cannot be happy unless you are?  Don't you know that I am standing at your side, watching over you?  But you are so emotionless as you stand impassively in the snow…

     I watch with amazement as you summon this strange blue fire at your will, lighting my funeral pyre.  I shiver as I watch my body go up in the flames of your life force – let me tell you, it's a very odd sensation to watch yourself burn!  The heat from the flames is melting your frozen tears, and the illusion is quite striking – you look as though your tears were not water, but blood.  You are weeping a cascade of blood and pain, drowning in a sea of hurt.

     No!  Stop!  What are you doing?!  PUT THAT DOWN!  Oh Kami, Vidy, please don't!  No, you can't do this…  Put the gun down!  It isn't worth it!  Don't, oh gods don't…  Why don't you listen to me?  Please…  I said I wanted you to be happy!  Not dead!  Don't blame yourself, sister.  Oh please put the gun down!

     I have never been so happy in my life as I was when the dark man came.  When he grabbed you, I'll admit that I was scared for you at first…  But when he screamed, it was fear I read in his voice – the same fear that has me screaming at you right now, though you can't hear me.  I watch in sorrow as you scream back at him, beating your fists against his chest, sobbing.  Don't you know how much it hurts me to have you blame yourself?  To have you believe that you are evil, unworthy of life?

     It is my fault!  Kijin said so… But not yours.  Never yours.  Chin up, onee-chan, I have a feeling that this dark man can help you. 

     Do not worry, I will stand beside you, whether you can see me or not.  My love for you transcends death, corny though that must sound…  You fall asleep as the dark man flies you away and I follow.  Don't worry, Vidy, I'll be watching over you.

~All through the night I'll be standing over you                                                           All through the night I'll be watching over you~

     When you woke up, I could tell you were confused.  You've been sleeping for an entire day!  The dark man, Gohan, he watched you as you slept, too.  He said things to you that I'm sure you don't remember, but I do.  He has my trust, and I know that he will help you get better. 

      He left once, for a time, and I wasn't sure what I would do if you woke up and he wasn't anywhere close.  He was gone for nearly an hour, and when he came back he had these 7 weird orange things.  I don't know what they're for, but I hope that they're something to help you.  I need you to get better, onee-chan, so that I can go to heaven!

      I watch as you begin to remember the other day, and the things that happened.  I can tell what you're thinking about because of the tears coursing down your cheeks…  I want to hold you so badly, tell you that I love you, that it wasn't your fault.  I reach out to try and stop the tears, but you can't feel me.  You need someone to hang onto right now, someone to be your anchor, and I cannot do it for you.

     He's coming now, onee-chan, he will help you.  I can tell that you know this too, because your tears slow down – but they don't stop, and you don't try and hide them like you've always done in front of other people.  I'm so proud of you, Vidy – it takes you so much strength to let go of your pride. 

      He watches you silently, and I can tell he is thinking about the words he said last night, while you were sleeping.  But you don't remember, do you.  He told you that he was going to be there with you forever, that he would make everything be all right.  You are his world, his universe, and his star.  You always wanted to be a star, didn't you nee-chan…  He said that he loved you more than life itself, and that it would kill him if anything were to happen to you.  All through the night he sat beside you, holding your hand, talking to you.  I know that you heard him, because the bad dreams left your face, and you slept well for the first time in forever.

~And through bad dreams I'll be right there, baby                                  Holding your hand, telling you everything is all right~

     He rocks you as you cry out years of pain and loneliness.  Your face is buried in his shirt, so you don't see his look of sorrow and mirrored pain.  All you can feel is his arms holding you safe against the storm of angst surrounding your life.  You never told me about any of this…  Why not?  I could've sat there with you, rocking you!  I could've held you safe just as well as he does!  I'm as strong as him, and I could've helped you through.

     But no, I know that I'm your little brother, and this man is something more.  I suppose you think it's funny that I'm jealous, right?  Well I think I have every right to be!  You are my world, Vidy; you are my anchor as this man is yours.  You couldn't cry to me because I was the one that cried to you.  You always felt the need to be strong for me, to be my anchor in the tough spots.  I think that you were afraid that if I saw you cry, I would think you were too weak to help me.  It isn't true.  It was never true.  I want you to know that I could see your pain every day, that all of our hugs weren't only for me.

     I love you.

~And when you cry I'll be right there~

     You are so full of doubt, older sister!  I swear I can't figure out how you tell up from down sometimes…  Everyone always thinks of you as brave and confident, the model female, yet you see yourself as something small and ugly.  Your body is something that must be hidden under large shirts and baggy pants, and you think that everyone is always judging you, always giving you failing marks. 

     Let me tell you, nee-chan, that I could hear them whisper as I skipped along ahead of you in the park.  They were always envying you.  'Why can't I be so beautiful', they would say.  'Why can't I be so smart and confident' they moan.  But you always heard something else.  'Look at those clothes!' they would say in your mind.  'She's so stupid and arrogant' they whisper to you.

     I always used to tell you that you were the beautifullest girl in the whole wide world.  When I got married, it would be to someone just like you!  You always smiled on the outside when I said this, but now I know that you wept on the inside.  'Why does he lie to me?' you'd ask yourself.  Don't you know that I would never lie to you, nee-chan?  I meant every word I said. 

     Now, it's Gohan who tell you that you're beautiful.  At first I can tell that you don't believe him, but when he smiles, you know it's true.  You're like a flower while he's the sun… You lean to get closer to him.  Actually, no, skip that – that's a terrible analogy!  Ack!  Stupid soliloquy that wont let me go back and change it…  You two are so much closer than the flower and the sun, because a flower can never reach the sun.  You will reach Gohan, I think, and then you'll get married!  You'll have lotsa kids, and you'll be the bestest mommy in the world – trust me, I'd know.  Man I envy those kids…  They'll have two parents that will love them forever, and their parents will be way too much in love to split up.

      I envy Gohan, too, for getting you.  You're one of a kind, big sister – you really are the mostest beautifullest person ever!  No other man will be as lucky as Gohan, and if you weren't my sister, and I wasn't dead, I'd probably fight him for your hand!

~Telling you you were never anything less than beautiful~

     I sit here and listen as he tells you stories about himself, and both of us are in awe.  You believe him right away, I can tell.  I'm skeptical at first, of course, but if you believe him, I will too.  I think we share the same thoughts here – if Gohan says it to you, Videl, it has to be true. 

     As he tells you about those orange balls, though, I go cold even as your smile grows.  I don't want to go back…  Back to the pain, the fear, the torture of every day… 

     Right now there's a wall around my thoughts, protecting me from distinct memories of the time before my death…  All I remember is flashes of emotion.  Pain.  Terrible pain as he moves inside of me...  Fear.  Overwhelming fear that what he says to me is true…  Terror.  Mind-numbing terror as it goes on for weeks and months… 

     I have found happiness in watching you, sister dearest, and I have found happiness in the peaceful freedom of this other realm.  If you bring me back…  The walls will break, and so will I.

     I'm sad when, at first, you cling to the chance of my return as if it's the only thing tying you to reality.  You want it so bad, your existence revolves around the day where I will be standing in front of you again, my arms around you.  Bad emotions seem so distant from me here, so the sense of fear I feel that you might wish me back is far away, but it is there.  I wish I could talk to you, wish I could tell you how very much I love you, but that I cannot go back.  I cannot.

     I watch you both as you stay in this little field for days, weeks, then a month.  I smile as I watch him take you in his arms and rock you as you cry.  I sit beside you as you both sleep, and I keep watch over you.  I think you feel that I'm here, as you smile in your sleep.  It's the special smile that you never gave to anyone but me.  You give Gohan a special smile, too, but his is different.  I like mine better. 

     Sleep tight, darling sister, and do not wish me back.  You will move on without me, and you will make a life with Son Gohan, and you will love each other forever and beyond.  I can tell.  I can tell in the same way that I know you and I will love each other forever and beyond. 

     I will hold you close to my heart as I journey into heaven now, and I will wait for you until it is your chosen time.  Hold me close to your heart, onee-chan, and remember me – but move on with your life.  Don't let my spirit hold you back, and remember what I told you as you held me in your arms – I can only be happy in heaven, if you are happy here. 

     I love you, sister dearest, but my time is up.  I've lingered here, watching you recover and heal, more than I probably should have.  I'm so happy for you, and for your man.  You have my blessing, and tell him that he is the luckiest guy the world has ever known. 

     Do not worry, onee-chan, that I cannot come back to stand beside you in the flesh.  I will always stand beside you, because you are my beloved older sister.  You were my world, and you are what I long for even in death.

     I love you.

~So don't you worry

                     I'm your Angel standing by~

     Always.

            =============================================================

Well, well, well…  That just wrote itself, to tell you the truth.  I had absolutely no intention of writing something like this interlude, but when I read the lyrics to this song, I knew it was meant to be.  Ah yes, why don't I explain the song… 

To tell you the absolute truth, I despise the way this song sounds.  Why?  It's so drawn out!  I mean, these are the entirety of the lyrics, and nothing is repeated.  Me, I like really fast songs with driving beats and neat lyrics.  My cousin gave me this cd, though, about 2 years ago, and when I was searching for a good song to use as the next chapter of the story, I read the song lyrics for every single song in every single cd that I own.  (Needless to say, it took a rather long time…)  When I read this one, though, I'd never even heard the song – but I knew that there couldn't be a more perfect set of lyrics.  So there we go…  I'm still debating which song to use next, and I'm still scouring my cds and the internet for the perfect match… (I'll know it when I read/hear it…)

Further explanations might be necessary for other parts of this Interlude as well.  For example, I'm sure you all caught that Kijin referred to the teenager that Videl killed in the last chapter.  I chose that name because in Japanese, Kijin roughly translates in 'a bad person'.  Well, Kijin in this story is definitely a bad person.  I'm guessing that you all caught the references that Yasha was making, but let me explain to those who aren't quite sure.  When Yasha first moved into the little town, Kijin started taking him under his wing, so to speak, being the only other 'kid' there.  Eventually it evolved into sexual abuse and rape.  This went on for an extended period of time, but Yasha was too terrified to tell anyone about it – it's why he sounded so shaky when he promised Videl that he'd wait for her present.  (His mother didn't notice the difference because she was busy being miserable, too.)  Kijin murdered him because he could tell that Yasha was getting ready to tell someone, and that couldn't happen. 

Also, last note in a very long author note, I wanted to point out the POV thing.  It was really hard for me to make a balance between a removed spirit, who's watching over his sister and speaks with a removed quality to his words, and a nine-year-old boy.  Most of the time the spirit is prevalent, as to better fit with the entire mood of the story – but you saw the 9 year old too, I hope.  Especially in the jealousy of Gohan, and the use of some childish language – yes, when I used "mostest beautifullest" I'm quite aware that it isn't correct.  It's supposed to be a child, speaking to the most important person in his life.

All right, enough explaining myself! -__-`  I hope you enjoyed this installment, and I hope you wont have to wait very long for the next chapter to come out.

                                              ~Lexi

p.s. Ok, I know I said enough with the explanation, but I want to point out one last thing!  The word "always" is at the very end of the fic for a reason – can you guess why?  Let's play "spot the hidden meanings"!  How many more can you find?  *grins* (Yes, there are quite a few that I didn't mention already ^__^)