Title: Gauged Elation
Author: This chapter was written by j.bryan. Saran and I are working on this story together, alternating POV. I get Will and she does Jack.
Disclaimer: Copyrights for the movie Pirates of the Caribbean belong to Disney.
Author's Notes: This is the first fic I've written in five years so be gentle.
Song Used: School Night by Ani DiFranco. It's the same song used in the first chapter of this fic. We just decided it worked for both of their POV's.
Pairing: Barbosa/Governor Swann. Eww gross just kidding. Jack/Will
Rating: ARRRRR
Elizabeth was the only thing he would ever truly love, or so he kept telling himself.
Sitting on a rickety old chair in the workshop, that he inherited from Mr. Brown, Will Turner stared at the half empty bottle in his hand. He had never been much of a drinker before. His fiancé, Elizabeth, was quite morally against it for some reason. For the past few days, though, the only place he could find solace was at the bottom of the old rum stash he found hidden in the workshop.
Elizabeth.
His mind wanted to think of her. It kept trying to see the way her nose crinkles when she laughs but he had less and less control as the night progressed over what his mind really thought of.
His eyes were pulled by some invisible hand towards the empty anvil by the fire. He could almost see the hat resting there.
she went over to his apartment
clutching her decision
and he said, did you come here to tell me goodbye?
so she built a skyscraper of procrastination
and then she leaned out the twenty-fifth floor window
of her reply
and she felt like an actress
just reading her lines
when she finally said
yes. it's really goodbye this time
and far below was the blacktop
and the tiny toy cars
and it all fell so fast
and it all fell so far
Will stared at the old hat hanging on the wall next to Jack's effects. He had to concentrate on anything, anything but the man behind bars in front of him. Captain Jack Sparrow was rambling on about being hanged or brothels or something to Elizabeth. It was all kind of a blur to Will.
Elizabeth was standing next to him complaining about the poor luck Jack had stumbled upon. He could see the tails of the officers uniform they'd slapped on Elizabeth out of the corner of his eye, refusing to look her in the eye as well.
Holding the sails of the Interceptor during a storm, that was easy. Fighting three immortal pirates in a cave filled with treasure, that was easy. This, this had to be one of the most difficult things he'd ever done.
He searched his mind trying to think of the appropriate words that are supposed to be said at a moment like this. The protocol seemed far too far away to even grasp. There was a time when saying the proper thing had come natural to Will, growing up as a humble blacksmith, but now the proper words escaped him.
"Jack..." His voice didn't seem his own. It seemed far away and too deep to be anything that belonged to Will. The word that had managed to escape his lips surprised him.
"Yes, mate?" Jack's response was to be expected. Sarcastic and dry till the end, Will thought to himself, marveling at Jack's self control.
Will's mind had thought to say 'Jack' but it failed to think up what would come next. At a complete loss for words Will stared at his shoes and mumbled a half-hearted goodbye.
Elizabeth gave Jack a reassuring smile and turned to head back up to the deck. Will saw this as a chance to run away from the pain in his stomach. Without even looking the pirate in the eye he turned and walked up the stairs, perhaps a bit faster then he initially intended.
and she said:
you are a miracle but that is not all
you are also a stiff drink and i am on call
you are a party and i am a school night
and i'm lookin' for my door key
but you are my porch light
Will stopped himself just before he threw the bottle of rum at the locked door. Realizing it was still half full he decided to keep it rather then waste it in a moment of heated anger. The urge to chuck the bottle was still present in his mind so he took a swig that was slightly more generous then his previous ones.
The rum slid it's way down his throat burning the back of his throat. His stomach growled at him in protest for poisoning it once more with an intoxicating liquid but Will ignored it.
Jack.
Any thought that didn't have to do with Captain Jack was banished from his already groggy mind. The way he half-smiled when a plan was brewing in his mind, the way he swaggered everywhere he went.
and you'll never know, dear
just how much i loved you
you'll probably think this was
just my big excuse
but i stand committed
to a love that came before you
and the fact that i adore you
is but one of my truths
Night in Tortuga wasn't the same as night in Port Royal. Night in Tortuga was busy and crowded. There were people everywhere drinking and singing loudly. Wenches wore dresses with a more revealing neckline then Will was accustomed to. But it wasn't the wenches that Will's sight was occupied with. Everything in the crowded tavern was a blur, everything except for a lone pirate sitting in a dark corner staring off into the distance with a drink in his hand. The bad lighting in the tavern made it hard to distinguish the tell-tale double braided goatee and decorated dreadlocks that were synonymous with Captain Jack Sparrow but Will knew they were there.
This was the second time Will had set foot in this bar. The first time was with Jack as well. This was the same tavern that Will and Jack had gone to, to find a crew on their hunt for the Black Pearl and Miss Swann. The bar looked the same but the atmosphere definitely felt different.
Will tried to walk smoothly over to Jack but he felt a nervous apprehension that he hadn't felt since before his wild adventure with Captain Sparrow, and then it was Elizabeth who caused the feeling.
When he got close enough for Jack to see him he decided he would lean against the back of an empty chair casually until he was noticed by the pirate. He was so caught up in the Jack's eyes that he didn't even notice the chair start to slip on the grimy floor. With a loud thud Will's left side hit the tavern floor making most of the loud commotion going on around him stop and stare. The embarrassment showed quite prominently on his face as he looked around at all the dirty faces staring down at him.
With a regained semi-confidence Will sprang back up only to meet Jack face to face. The man was slightly shorter then Will causing the tip of Jack's nose to barely touch Will's bottom lip. "Well if it was my attention you were trying to get your plan worked perfectly," Jack said with the half-smile Will had been missing so much.
"Blacksmith hands," was all Will could say.
Jack turned and strolled lazily back to his table in the corner with Will in tow.
The conversation was bland. On the long trip to Tortuga Will thought of all the things they'd have to talk about. He'd missed Jack so much and there was so much to catch up on but for some reason he was at a bit of a loss for words. Neither Jack nor Will were ever big talkers. Jack definitely knew what to say at the right time but when it came to conversation they were both stuck.
After formalities like the weather and what was new had been talked dry the conversation died slightly. There was a long pause that neither of them seemed willing to break. After a few minutes Will realized that he couldn't take it anymore and blurted out "I missed you."
"What was that, mate?" Jack yelled over the singing drunkards swaying about the bar.
"I missed you!" Yelled Will trying to get his desperate message across to Jack.
"I'm sorry, mate, I can't hear a bloody thing you're saying! It's too loud in here."
"Is there some place quieter we can go?!"
Will thought he saw a tiny smirk cross Jack's face but it was gone in the blink of an eye. "I can't hear you, mate, but listen, I've got a room in the inn above. It'll be mighty easier to talk up there, savvy?"
Without even waiting for an answer Jack stood quickly and did his usual swagger through the crowd and towards the stairs. Will had to physically force his legs into moving.
The room was slightly cleaner then the tavern but that wasn't saying much. It was dank and dark but the warm Caribbean night made sure that Will's hair fell flat and his loose fitting tunic stuck to his chest. Jack flopped onto the bed and lied on his side. He looked up at Will with those dark penetrating eyes that Will had dreamed about for weeks.
"Now, what was it you were trying to say down there, mate?"
Will slowly walked over to the bed and sat inside the curve of Jack's waist. "I said that I missed you."
"Good," Without even giving Will a chance to respond Jack lunged at Will's mouth. Will's eye's shot wide not expecting the sudden embrace of the lips but by the time Jack's tongue had entered his mouth he relaxed and followed Jack's lead.
Jack grabbed Will's shirt and ripped it off not caring about the button's he almost certainly would tear. He stopped kissing to look down and see the smooth, lightly toned torso of his lover. Will took this short break to unbutton Jack's shirt delicately. Jack's eyes roamed up to Will's shoulder and along his arm. Once he was staring at Will's hands he saw that he was having so much trouble with the button's because they were shaking.
Their eyes met and Will mumbled "blacksmith's hands."
"You can't use that as an excuse for everything, mate," Jack said as he tore his own shirt as well. Will looked down at his lover's chest. The tattoo on his left breast still reminded him of their numerous nights together on the Black Pearl. There was a long scar that Will traced with his finger from the middle of his chest down to his right side.
The soft touch of Will's skin against his drove Jack to near madness. He grabbed Will's arms and flipped him so he was lying on his back with Jack on top. His face fell in an uncharacteristic grace towards Will's and they were lost in each other's touch.
what of the mother
whose house is in flames
and both of her children
are in their beds crying
and she loves them both
with the whole of her heart
but she knows she can only
carry one at a time?
she's choking on the smoke
of unthinkable choices
she is haunted by the voices
of so many desires
she's bent over from the business
of begging forgiveness
while frantically running around
putting out fires
Will awoke sometime the next morning to quiet. Unlike Port Royal Tortuga was deathly quiet during the day. Everyone was inside escaping the painful, bright sun. The thought of Port Royal brought reality back to him. Elizabeth, his workshop, his life. What am I doing here? He asked himself. His mind was filled with confusion. Nothing was making sense. Jack was nothing like him, Jack was a pirate, Jack was lying next to him. Without warning Will's eye's started to glaze. Don't do this! Who cries while sleeping next to a pirate! But the tears could not be stopped. At first Will was so confused he wasn't sure if they were tears of joy or pain. But the thoughts his mind had finally focused on proved his suspicion.
"Blimey, mate, was I that bad?" Jack asked rolling onto his side and staring at Will.
Will touched Jack's cheek. He'd made up his mind and he wanted to remember this face for as long as he could. "I have to go," he said once he could find his voice again. "I can't do this."
Once Will had found his pants and put them on he started to head for the door. He decided it best to leave his shirt. It was torn and it would just remind him of this night for as long as he had it.
"Will..." Jack sighed as Will reached the cracked door frame. Without saying a word Jack rolled to the edge of the bed and found his pants. He reached into the pocket and pulled out a small box shaped object. After staring fondly at the trinket he threw it at Will and half-smiled.
With reflexes honed in battle Will deftly caught the projectile and turned and walked out the room. It wasn't until he was outside the tavern that he opened his hand and saw the broken compass in his hand.
but then what kind of scale
compares the weight of two beauties
the gravity of duties
or the ground speed of joy?
tell me what kind of gauge
can quantify elation?
what kind of equation
could i possibly employ?
and you'll never know, dear
just how much i loved you
you probably think this was
just my big excuse
but i stand committed
to a love that came before you
and the fact that i adore you
is just one of my truths
"I don't want this!" Will screamed at no one in particular. Elizabeth was probably asleep in the flat they built above the workshop by now but he didn't care. The world could open and the entire Caribbean could be swallowed up and he wouldn't care.
With a loud smash the now empty bottle of rum hit the door just a little to the left of where his sword had hit the first day he met Jack. His aim hadn't been as good lately and it never occurred to him that the alcohol might have been the cause.
Will leaped out of the chair ready to run out into the quiet streets of Port Royal screaming at anyone or anything that would listen but before he got the chance the booze in his system caught up with him. He fell to his knees and threw-up the majority of the contents of his system on the dusty floor of the workshop.
Before he was able to even consider cleaning it all up he fell to the ground and passed out. His thoughts hadn't changed though. He still felt utterly torn between who he should be with and who he could be with.
so i
i'm goin' home
to please the one i so love pleasing
and i don't expect
he'll have much sympathy for my grieving
but i guess that this is the price
that we pay for the privilege
of living for even a day
in a world with so many things
worth believing in