Part Five:
Narcissa managed to avoid Ophelia when she went back to the Crabbe's to get her things. She left a short, vague note, saying thank you for your hospitality, I'll be going to stay with a friend now. Narcissa had a feeling that Ophelia wouldn't mind.
Remus took her to his small house, hidden in the outskirts of London. Though it looked shabby on the outside, it was very nice on the inside: a pleasant change from the large, dark house that the Crabbes had. Remus led her to the biggest bedroom of the two in the house. "You can stay in here, if you like..." Narcissa looked around. This "master bedroom" was almost the same size as the "small" guestroom she'd stayed in at the Crabbe's. She smiled at her host.
"It's perfect."
That night, Narcissa was lying awake, thinking about everything that had been happening lately. She could hear voices downstairs, Remus's and someone eles's that sounded familiar. They both sounded really mad. As quietly as she could, Narcissa snuck out of bed and listened to what was going on.
"I can't believe you invited her to stay here!" an angry female voice was yelling. "She can't be trusted, she's on their side!" With boiling anger, Narcissa recognized the voice as her niece, Nymphadora.
"Tonks, will you be quiet?" Remus hissed. "She's right down the hall, she'll hear us!"
"She's hear about EVERYTHING! Honestly, Remus, she could be a spy or something!"
"Whose she going to report to? She's going to be here the whole time."
"What about when you're on duty?" Nymphadora (she calls herself "Tonks", Narcissa remembered with disgust) demanded. There was a silence, until Remus came up with an answer.
"I could have someone from the Order stay here. Make sure she doesn't leave or anything."
Narcissa had had it. She stormed down the hall and into the living room. She pointed an accusing finger at a surprised looking Remus. "Now, you listen to me, Remus Lupin! It was your idea in the first place to have me stay here! If you don't trust me, then why did you even bother?"
"Narcissa..." Remus sputtered, still surprised by her appearance. "I didn't mean it like that."
"The hell you didn't!" Narcissa stomped down the hall again. "That's it, I'm leaving!" She went into her room and began throwing the things she'd already unpacked back into her trunk.
"Narcissa?" Remus appeared in her doorway. "Come on, don't..."
She turned to him again, still furious. "Why did you invite me to stay, anyway? Huh? We hadn't even spoken in 20 years, and now..."
"I just wanted to make sure you were safe, that's all."
Narcissa was so sick of this. Everyone was lying to her, and they all had a hidden agenda. "Remus, you know I'm not stupid." She realized the truth. "You want information from me, don't you?"
Remus sighed and sat down on the bed. "Yes, but that's only a part of it. I know that you could be a valuable asset to the Or-to our group." Narcissa narrowed her eyes at him. "But," he added quickly, "I was also worried about you." He took Narcissa's arm. "Please, don't be upset."
Narcissa sighed. She knew she couldn't stay mad at him. She closed her trunk. "I'm not." She started out of the room. "Where is that niece of mine? I'd like to give her a piece of my mind..."
"She's gone," Remus said, following her out of the room. "She Apparated after you left the room."
Narcissa turned back around. "Oh."
"Look, it's late. I'm pretty tired, and I'm sure you are, too. How about we go to bed now?"
Narcissa nodded. "Okay. Well, good night, Remus."
Remus began to leave the room, but she called him back. "Um...thanks," was all she could say.
"You're welcome."
And Narcissa watched as her old lover walked out of the room. She closed the door behind him and fell onto her bed again.
That night as she slept, she had another one of her old nightmares. This one was what had happened on her wedding night.
Everything had been going well that day. The wedding had been lavish and beautiful, and all her friends and relatives had gone. She remembered that her sister Andromeda was even there, and she was pregnaut. She hadn't brought her Mudblood husband, though, and she wasn't talking to any of the family. She just gave Narcissa a quick kiss on the cheek at the reception, handed her a present, and said, "Congratulations."
The Blacks of London had been there. Aunt Willica had been very proud. "Another good marriage," she'd said as she congratulated her niece. "At least you and Bellatrix have brought honor to the family." She'd shot Andromeda a dirty look, and Narcissa guessed that was the reason why she'd left early.
Sirius had been there, and the sight of him made Narcissa's heart ache: it made her think of Remus. Sirius hadn't said a word to her, and Aunt Willica had yelled at him when he refused to congratulate her. Narcissa heard him say later, "Why would I congratulate her? For breaking my best friend's heart, or for ruining her own life?" He'd been sent away early.
Lucius was nice to all the guests at the reception, but every time they were alone, he'd complain. "Can't we leave now?"
"It's my family," Narcissa had argued feebily. By six o'clock, she gave in: Lucius made the excuse that they had to be in Paris by 8, and internation Apparation was difficult.
They arrived at a fancy wizard hotel (disguised as an old warehouse to fool Muggles) that evening, and were taken to their hotel room. Narcissa had been hoping on seeing the sights of Paris: she'd never been there, and had always wanted to go. Remus had told her once about it, about a vacation he'd gone on...she'd onced dreamt about going to Paris with him, but it would never happen now...
But as soon as they were unpacked, Lucius grabbed her roughly and threw her onto the bed. He jumped on top of her and ripped at her wedding dress. "How do you get this fucking thing off?"
"Wait! That's my mother's!" She was shocked when she recieved a sharp slap in the face.
"I don't give a fuck if it's my mother's, just get the damn thing off. NOW!" He watched impatiently as Narcissa carefully took off her wedding clothes. Then he threw her back down onto the bed again, impatient to start his honeymoon.
It was Narcissa's first time, and it hurt like hell. Lucius was too rough with her, pushing to hard. When she almost screamed in pain, he slapped her. She had to keep from crying until it was done, and she hid in the bathroom, turned on the shower, and sobbed.
It happened a few more times over the next week. Lucius also got very pissed off that the sheets were stained in her blood. "I'm going to have to pay for these!" he yelled, waving the sheets in her hand. "Do you have any idea how much these things cost?"
"Can't you, um, use a spell to clean them?"
"What the hell do I look like to you, a house elf?" he demanded, making his new wife flinch. "They'll probably add on extra to the cost, just 'cause they know I can afford it!"
"Lucius, I'm sorry."
"CRUCIO!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He'd already used the Unforgivable curse on her. He was a merciless man, and he took pleasure in seeing his new wife screaming in agony...
"Narcissa? Narcissa!"
She shot up in bed, realizing that she'd had another nightmare. She looked to see Remus Lupin sitting on her bed. "Remus?"
"Are you alright?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned. "I heard you screaming, and-"
"Oh, Remus!" she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I know I should have listened to you! Marrying that man was the biggest mistake I ever made." She sobbed onto his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I always loved you Remus, and always will..." She lifted her head up, horrified at what she'd said. "Oh, God..."
"Narcissa?" Remus looked at her uncertainly. "Do you really mean that?"
She nodded. It was too late to turn back now. The truth had to come out. "Yes, Remus. I've been thinking about you for 20 years, always wishing that I could turn the clock back and...I wish..." She didn't know what to say now. She looked at him, expectantly. Maybe he felt the same! There was a spark of hope.
"Um..." Remus was clearly uncomfortable. He stood up. "I better go back to bed now. Do you need anything?"
YOU! she wanted to scream. I NEED YOU! But she didn't. She took in a deep breath and shook her head.
"Good night, Narcissa." Remus gave her one last look and shut the door. Narcissa fell back on her pillow. She didn't want to cry, she wanted to scream. He didn't feel the same way? It wasn't fair!
But then, she remembered, I'm the one who hurt him.
Narcissa managed to avoid Ophelia when she went back to the Crabbe's to get her things. She left a short, vague note, saying thank you for your hospitality, I'll be going to stay with a friend now. Narcissa had a feeling that Ophelia wouldn't mind.
Remus took her to his small house, hidden in the outskirts of London. Though it looked shabby on the outside, it was very nice on the inside: a pleasant change from the large, dark house that the Crabbes had. Remus led her to the biggest bedroom of the two in the house. "You can stay in here, if you like..." Narcissa looked around. This "master bedroom" was almost the same size as the "small" guestroom she'd stayed in at the Crabbe's. She smiled at her host.
"It's perfect."
That night, Narcissa was lying awake, thinking about everything that had been happening lately. She could hear voices downstairs, Remus's and someone eles's that sounded familiar. They both sounded really mad. As quietly as she could, Narcissa snuck out of bed and listened to what was going on.
"I can't believe you invited her to stay here!" an angry female voice was yelling. "She can't be trusted, she's on their side!" With boiling anger, Narcissa recognized the voice as her niece, Nymphadora.
"Tonks, will you be quiet?" Remus hissed. "She's right down the hall, she'll hear us!"
"She's hear about EVERYTHING! Honestly, Remus, she could be a spy or something!"
"Whose she going to report to? She's going to be here the whole time."
"What about when you're on duty?" Nymphadora (she calls herself "Tonks", Narcissa remembered with disgust) demanded. There was a silence, until Remus came up with an answer.
"I could have someone from the Order stay here. Make sure she doesn't leave or anything."
Narcissa had had it. She stormed down the hall and into the living room. She pointed an accusing finger at a surprised looking Remus. "Now, you listen to me, Remus Lupin! It was your idea in the first place to have me stay here! If you don't trust me, then why did you even bother?"
"Narcissa..." Remus sputtered, still surprised by her appearance. "I didn't mean it like that."
"The hell you didn't!" Narcissa stomped down the hall again. "That's it, I'm leaving!" She went into her room and began throwing the things she'd already unpacked back into her trunk.
"Narcissa?" Remus appeared in her doorway. "Come on, don't..."
She turned to him again, still furious. "Why did you invite me to stay, anyway? Huh? We hadn't even spoken in 20 years, and now..."
"I just wanted to make sure you were safe, that's all."
Narcissa was so sick of this. Everyone was lying to her, and they all had a hidden agenda. "Remus, you know I'm not stupid." She realized the truth. "You want information from me, don't you?"
Remus sighed and sat down on the bed. "Yes, but that's only a part of it. I know that you could be a valuable asset to the Or-to our group." Narcissa narrowed her eyes at him. "But," he added quickly, "I was also worried about you." He took Narcissa's arm. "Please, don't be upset."
Narcissa sighed. She knew she couldn't stay mad at him. She closed her trunk. "I'm not." She started out of the room. "Where is that niece of mine? I'd like to give her a piece of my mind..."
"She's gone," Remus said, following her out of the room. "She Apparated after you left the room."
Narcissa turned back around. "Oh."
"Look, it's late. I'm pretty tired, and I'm sure you are, too. How about we go to bed now?"
Narcissa nodded. "Okay. Well, good night, Remus."
Remus began to leave the room, but she called him back. "Um...thanks," was all she could say.
"You're welcome."
And Narcissa watched as her old lover walked out of the room. She closed the door behind him and fell onto her bed again.
That night as she slept, she had another one of her old nightmares. This one was what had happened on her wedding night.
Everything had been going well that day. The wedding had been lavish and beautiful, and all her friends and relatives had gone. She remembered that her sister Andromeda was even there, and she was pregnaut. She hadn't brought her Mudblood husband, though, and she wasn't talking to any of the family. She just gave Narcissa a quick kiss on the cheek at the reception, handed her a present, and said, "Congratulations."
The Blacks of London had been there. Aunt Willica had been very proud. "Another good marriage," she'd said as she congratulated her niece. "At least you and Bellatrix have brought honor to the family." She'd shot Andromeda a dirty look, and Narcissa guessed that was the reason why she'd left early.
Sirius had been there, and the sight of him made Narcissa's heart ache: it made her think of Remus. Sirius hadn't said a word to her, and Aunt Willica had yelled at him when he refused to congratulate her. Narcissa heard him say later, "Why would I congratulate her? For breaking my best friend's heart, or for ruining her own life?" He'd been sent away early.
Lucius was nice to all the guests at the reception, but every time they were alone, he'd complain. "Can't we leave now?"
"It's my family," Narcissa had argued feebily. By six o'clock, she gave in: Lucius made the excuse that they had to be in Paris by 8, and internation Apparation was difficult.
They arrived at a fancy wizard hotel (disguised as an old warehouse to fool Muggles) that evening, and were taken to their hotel room. Narcissa had been hoping on seeing the sights of Paris: she'd never been there, and had always wanted to go. Remus had told her once about it, about a vacation he'd gone on...she'd onced dreamt about going to Paris with him, but it would never happen now...
But as soon as they were unpacked, Lucius grabbed her roughly and threw her onto the bed. He jumped on top of her and ripped at her wedding dress. "How do you get this fucking thing off?"
"Wait! That's my mother's!" She was shocked when she recieved a sharp slap in the face.
"I don't give a fuck if it's my mother's, just get the damn thing off. NOW!" He watched impatiently as Narcissa carefully took off her wedding clothes. Then he threw her back down onto the bed again, impatient to start his honeymoon.
It was Narcissa's first time, and it hurt like hell. Lucius was too rough with her, pushing to hard. When she almost screamed in pain, he slapped her. She had to keep from crying until it was done, and she hid in the bathroom, turned on the shower, and sobbed.
It happened a few more times over the next week. Lucius also got very pissed off that the sheets were stained in her blood. "I'm going to have to pay for these!" he yelled, waving the sheets in her hand. "Do you have any idea how much these things cost?"
"Can't you, um, use a spell to clean them?"
"What the hell do I look like to you, a house elf?" he demanded, making his new wife flinch. "They'll probably add on extra to the cost, just 'cause they know I can afford it!"
"Lucius, I'm sorry."
"CRUCIO!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He'd already used the Unforgivable curse on her. He was a merciless man, and he took pleasure in seeing his new wife screaming in agony...
"Narcissa? Narcissa!"
She shot up in bed, realizing that she'd had another nightmare. She looked to see Remus Lupin sitting on her bed. "Remus?"
"Are you alright?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned. "I heard you screaming, and-"
"Oh, Remus!" she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I know I should have listened to you! Marrying that man was the biggest mistake I ever made." She sobbed onto his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I always loved you Remus, and always will..." She lifted her head up, horrified at what she'd said. "Oh, God..."
"Narcissa?" Remus looked at her uncertainly. "Do you really mean that?"
She nodded. It was too late to turn back now. The truth had to come out. "Yes, Remus. I've been thinking about you for 20 years, always wishing that I could turn the clock back and...I wish..." She didn't know what to say now. She looked at him, expectantly. Maybe he felt the same! There was a spark of hope.
"Um..." Remus was clearly uncomfortable. He stood up. "I better go back to bed now. Do you need anything?"
YOU! she wanted to scream. I NEED YOU! But she didn't. She took in a deep breath and shook her head.
"Good night, Narcissa." Remus gave her one last look and shut the door. Narcissa fell back on her pillow. She didn't want to cry, she wanted to scream. He didn't feel the same way? It wasn't fair!
But then, she remembered, I'm the one who hurt him.