Author's note: I don't own pokemon, nor do I own any characters not created
by me…yak yak yak. Well, seems like I drank too much bleach today (just
like Lugia! ^_^) and my brain just produced this! Pikachu Sandact6, if you
are reading this, thank you so much for responding to my fan mail! ^_^ and
now let's get on with the story!
Eskimo Jolteon:
A short, silly brain-dead fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place in Johto, a place that is always sunny.
Narrator: now focus in on a sunny beach on one of four islands in the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
Narrator: as you know, last episode our heroes went to the Whirl Islands for a holiday.
(Camera zooms in on one of the islands. We see Jolteon, Flareon, and Espeon relaxing in the sun on deckchairs. Flareon as usual is sipping Gas from a can.)
Espeon: this is the life. (Yawns lazily)
Jolteon: I agree. Where're Vaporeon and Umbreon?
Flareon: Umbreon's in the cave moping about his lost luggage.
Jolteon: loser. -_-;
Flareon: he did spend a hundred thousand pokebucks on them.
Jolteon: where's Vaporeon?
Espeon: (closes eyes and concentrates) went swimming I believe.
(Umbreon walks in from outside the camera)
Umbreon: Hi guys. I'm off to wade in the shallows.
Jolteon: oh-ho so you got over your lost luggage? (Sniggers)
(Umbreon gives Jolteon an evil glance and walks off into the sea.)
Espeon: NOOO!!!! UMBREON!!! DON"T PUT…
(Umbreon puts his foot down and steps on an open Cloyster. The gigantic Cloyster clamps shut on Umbreon's foot.)
Umbreon: OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Espeon: (finishing the sentence) your foot there. (Sighs)
Umbreon: (gritting teeth) Um, guys, I presume you could help me with this thing? (Waves paw in direction of foot)
(Jolteon, Flareon and Espeon come over and pry the Cloyster open, then remove Umbreon's foot from it.)
Jolteon: well, what do we do with this thing? (Indicates Cloyster)
Espeon: well I guess we could eat it. Flareon, would you do the honor of lighting the fire?
Flareon: Oh goody goody! Now I get to burn something!
(Five minutes later)
Jolteon: Yummy! This is even better than Octillary in Seel blubber sauce! ^_^
Umbreon: I almost feel it was worth getting my foot clamped to have this! ^_^
Flareon: (slurs) yea.
Jolteon: guess we can all go back to our deckchairs.
(They go back to their deckchairs and relax.)
(Lugia flies over)
Lugia: and I presume you are satisfied?
Umbreon, Jolteon, Flareon and Espeon: yea, this place is great!
Lugia: Glad you like it. ^_^
Jolteon: how come you live here?
Lugia: well, I did use to live in Ecruteak until those three legendary dogs had way too much berry juice to drink at the legendary club and that Entei burnt down my tower thinking it was a giant cigarette while under the influence of alcohol and so he tried to smoke it. (Sobs)
Jolteon: I know, I hate it when Flareon melts down my igloo.
Lugia: at least they're having a massive hangover in my basement! (Laughs evilly)
(Jolteon blinks)
(Suddenly, Ash Ketchum springs out from behind a palm tree.)
Ash: Wow! Rare pokemon! I must have them!
Lugia: (angrily to Ash) (censored) off! Whirl Islands isn't open till 11 and this island is off limits to humans anyway!
Ash: (still in a trance) Wow! Rare pokemon! I must catch them! (Pulls out pokeballs)
Lugia: look here, kid. SCREW OFF!
Ash: but I just wanna rare pokemon…
Lugia: (calmly) all right. I believe you.
Ash: yay!
Lugia: (Freaks out) BUT MY AEROBLAST DON"T BELIEVE YOU! SO I'M GIVING YOU THREE SECONDS TO GET YOUR (censored) (censored) (censored) OUT OF MY SIGHT!
Ash: Wow! Rare…
Lugia: ONE!
Ash: Pokemon! I…
Lugia: TWO!
Ash: Must catch them!
Lugia: THREE! (Fires an Aeroblast at Ash. It hits Ash's head right on, spraying blood, bone and gray brain matter all over the place [not that Ash had much brains to start with anyway] Ash's body slumps against the palm tree.)
Lugia: if any more pesky humans arrive, just let me know. Oh yes, and don't go swimming in the sea. There are whirlpools out there. Use the pool instead. (Flies off)
(Jolteon, Flareon, Espeon and Umbreon stare at Ash's body)
Jolteon: so, what do we do with this thing?
Espeon: eat it I suppose. We've already had breakfast and lunch isn't till 12.
(Umbreon makes a disgusted face)
Jolteon: is food all you think of?
Espeon: humans do provide some very important protein. Plus, It will help prevent inconvenient questions.
Flareon: such as?
Espeon: what's that body doing five meters away from you?
Flareon: oh all right. (Lights a fire)
(Half an hour later)
Jolteon: (chewing on Ash's leg) this isn't so bad.
Umbreon: (munching on an arm) yea, although it isn't as good as that Cloyster.
Espeon: (ripping out some flesh) I told you so.
Umbreon: I could develop a taste for this. (Hurls away bones)
Flareon: Don't you dare do so.
Umbreon: whatever.
(Fifteen minutes later. Our heroes have finished eating.)
Flareon: that was nice.
Jolteon: where's Vaporeon?
Espeon: still swimming I believe.
Umbreon: whatever. That Lugia guy sure was funny.
Jolteon: yea, saying there were whirlpools in the sea. (Pauses a bit)
Flareon: what's the matter?
Jolteon: Espeon, where is Vaporeon swimming?
Espeon: in the sea.
(Suddenly, our heroes hear something)
Scream: (from far away) AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……………..
Espeon: is it just my big ears, or do I hear screaming?
Jolteon: (gulps) I think I hear it too.
Flareon: I'll save you Vaporeon! (Dives into water)
Espeon: Get that freak out of the water while I do something!
(Jolteon and Umbreon drag Flareon out of the water)
(Espeon concentrates for a bit. Vaporeon appears in a burst of light.)
Vaporeon: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa……
Espeon: calm down, you're on land now.
Vaporeon: Aw thanks Espie. ^_^ (Kisses Espeon, who blushes bright red)
Jolteon: well, what do we do now?
Umbreon: get something to eat?
All: HELL YEAH!
Narrator: and so our heroes went off to get something to eat.
(Fifteen minutes later)
Chansey Waitress: and so what would you five like?
Vaporeon: whatever this is. (Points to most expensive item on menu)
Jolteon: (squints to read the menu) La bombe?
Vaporeon: well its expensive so it's gotta be good.
Jolteon: um… yeah.
Chansey waitress: ok, I'll be right back. (Leaves)
(Pikachu Sandact6 walks in)
Pikachu Sandact6: I am god. Worship me, mortals. (Leaves)
Jolteon: not that character again…
Umbreon: so what do we do now?
Espeon: wait for the bombes to arrive.
Umbreon: and that would be?
Espeon: when Lccorp2 moves his butt and writes the next episode, and you know I can't read author's minds.
Umbreon: sigh…
Narrator: to be continued! ^_^
How'd you like this silly story? Put any ideas you have in your reviews! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon:
A short, silly brain-dead fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place in Johto, a place that is always sunny.
Narrator: now focus in on a sunny beach on one of four islands in the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
Narrator: as you know, last episode our heroes went to the Whirl Islands for a holiday.
(Camera zooms in on one of the islands. We see Jolteon, Flareon, and Espeon relaxing in the sun on deckchairs. Flareon as usual is sipping Gas from a can.)
Espeon: this is the life. (Yawns lazily)
Jolteon: I agree. Where're Vaporeon and Umbreon?
Flareon: Umbreon's in the cave moping about his lost luggage.
Jolteon: loser. -_-;
Flareon: he did spend a hundred thousand pokebucks on them.
Jolteon: where's Vaporeon?
Espeon: (closes eyes and concentrates) went swimming I believe.
(Umbreon walks in from outside the camera)
Umbreon: Hi guys. I'm off to wade in the shallows.
Jolteon: oh-ho so you got over your lost luggage? (Sniggers)
(Umbreon gives Jolteon an evil glance and walks off into the sea.)
Espeon: NOOO!!!! UMBREON!!! DON"T PUT…
(Umbreon puts his foot down and steps on an open Cloyster. The gigantic Cloyster clamps shut on Umbreon's foot.)
Umbreon: OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Espeon: (finishing the sentence) your foot there. (Sighs)
Umbreon: (gritting teeth) Um, guys, I presume you could help me with this thing? (Waves paw in direction of foot)
(Jolteon, Flareon and Espeon come over and pry the Cloyster open, then remove Umbreon's foot from it.)
Jolteon: well, what do we do with this thing? (Indicates Cloyster)
Espeon: well I guess we could eat it. Flareon, would you do the honor of lighting the fire?
Flareon: Oh goody goody! Now I get to burn something!
(Five minutes later)
Jolteon: Yummy! This is even better than Octillary in Seel blubber sauce! ^_^
Umbreon: I almost feel it was worth getting my foot clamped to have this! ^_^
Flareon: (slurs) yea.
Jolteon: guess we can all go back to our deckchairs.
(They go back to their deckchairs and relax.)
(Lugia flies over)
Lugia: and I presume you are satisfied?
Umbreon, Jolteon, Flareon and Espeon: yea, this place is great!
Lugia: Glad you like it. ^_^
Jolteon: how come you live here?
Lugia: well, I did use to live in Ecruteak until those three legendary dogs had way too much berry juice to drink at the legendary club and that Entei burnt down my tower thinking it was a giant cigarette while under the influence of alcohol and so he tried to smoke it. (Sobs)
Jolteon: I know, I hate it when Flareon melts down my igloo.
Lugia: at least they're having a massive hangover in my basement! (Laughs evilly)
(Jolteon blinks)
(Suddenly, Ash Ketchum springs out from behind a palm tree.)
Ash: Wow! Rare pokemon! I must have them!
Lugia: (angrily to Ash) (censored) off! Whirl Islands isn't open till 11 and this island is off limits to humans anyway!
Ash: (still in a trance) Wow! Rare pokemon! I must catch them! (Pulls out pokeballs)
Lugia: look here, kid. SCREW OFF!
Ash: but I just wanna rare pokemon…
Lugia: (calmly) all right. I believe you.
Ash: yay!
Lugia: (Freaks out) BUT MY AEROBLAST DON"T BELIEVE YOU! SO I'M GIVING YOU THREE SECONDS TO GET YOUR (censored) (censored) (censored) OUT OF MY SIGHT!
Ash: Wow! Rare…
Lugia: ONE!
Ash: Pokemon! I…
Lugia: TWO!
Ash: Must catch them!
Lugia: THREE! (Fires an Aeroblast at Ash. It hits Ash's head right on, spraying blood, bone and gray brain matter all over the place [not that Ash had much brains to start with anyway] Ash's body slumps against the palm tree.)
Lugia: if any more pesky humans arrive, just let me know. Oh yes, and don't go swimming in the sea. There are whirlpools out there. Use the pool instead. (Flies off)
(Jolteon, Flareon, Espeon and Umbreon stare at Ash's body)
Jolteon: so, what do we do with this thing?
Espeon: eat it I suppose. We've already had breakfast and lunch isn't till 12.
(Umbreon makes a disgusted face)
Jolteon: is food all you think of?
Espeon: humans do provide some very important protein. Plus, It will help prevent inconvenient questions.
Flareon: such as?
Espeon: what's that body doing five meters away from you?
Flareon: oh all right. (Lights a fire)
(Half an hour later)
Jolteon: (chewing on Ash's leg) this isn't so bad.
Umbreon: (munching on an arm) yea, although it isn't as good as that Cloyster.
Espeon: (ripping out some flesh) I told you so.
Umbreon: I could develop a taste for this. (Hurls away bones)
Flareon: Don't you dare do so.
Umbreon: whatever.
(Fifteen minutes later. Our heroes have finished eating.)
Flareon: that was nice.
Jolteon: where's Vaporeon?
Espeon: still swimming I believe.
Umbreon: whatever. That Lugia guy sure was funny.
Jolteon: yea, saying there were whirlpools in the sea. (Pauses a bit)
Flareon: what's the matter?
Jolteon: Espeon, where is Vaporeon swimming?
Espeon: in the sea.
(Suddenly, our heroes hear something)
Scream: (from far away) AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……………..
Espeon: is it just my big ears, or do I hear screaming?
Jolteon: (gulps) I think I hear it too.
Flareon: I'll save you Vaporeon! (Dives into water)
Espeon: Get that freak out of the water while I do something!
(Jolteon and Umbreon drag Flareon out of the water)
(Espeon concentrates for a bit. Vaporeon appears in a burst of light.)
Vaporeon: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa……
Espeon: calm down, you're on land now.
Vaporeon: Aw thanks Espie. ^_^ (Kisses Espeon, who blushes bright red)
Jolteon: well, what do we do now?
Umbreon: get something to eat?
All: HELL YEAH!
Narrator: and so our heroes went off to get something to eat.
(Fifteen minutes later)
Chansey Waitress: and so what would you five like?
Vaporeon: whatever this is. (Points to most expensive item on menu)
Jolteon: (squints to read the menu) La bombe?
Vaporeon: well its expensive so it's gotta be good.
Jolteon: um… yeah.
Chansey waitress: ok, I'll be right back. (Leaves)
(Pikachu Sandact6 walks in)
Pikachu Sandact6: I am god. Worship me, mortals. (Leaves)
Jolteon: not that character again…
Umbreon: so what do we do now?
Espeon: wait for the bombes to arrive.
Umbreon: and that would be?
Espeon: when Lccorp2 moves his butt and writes the next episode, and you know I can't read author's minds.
Umbreon: sigh…
Narrator: to be continued! ^_^
How'd you like this silly story? Put any ideas you have in your reviews! ^_^