Author's note: I don't own pokemon…so there! Thanks Crimson Lugia for
including me in your "more random insanity" fic… and let's get on with the
story! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon episode 6:
A short, silly brain-dead fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place in Johto, a place that is always sunny.
Narrator: now focus in on a cave on one of four islands in the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms in on one of the islands, then inside a cave. We see Jolteon waking up.)
Jolteon: (yawning) Sigh. Another beautiful day. (Walks out of bedroom. We see Flareon and Umbreon in front of the TV.)
Jolteon: (sleepily) WAZZZZZZZUUUPPP?
Flareon: we're trying to watch TV, but this place has no good channels. (Waves paw in direction of TV.)
Umbreon: yea. Even their Hentai channel hasn't got anything good.
(Camera zooms in on channel list. Channel no. 666 is marked "Raikou's ultra Hentai channel".)
Jolteon: where's Espeon and Vaporeon?
Flareon: still sleeping. Guess they're tired out from last night. (Sniggers and gulps gas from can.)
Jolteon: yea.
Umbreon: I foresee many Eevees. (Grins evilly)
(The three of them crack up and roll on the floor laughing hysterically)
Jolteon: guess we have to go make our own entertainment. Anyone for a walk on the beach before breakfast?
Flareon and Umbreon: HELL YEAH!
Narrator: and so our heroes went out for a walk on the beach. Meanwhile…
(Camera zooms in on another beach. Team rocket is on the beach with their Magikarp submarine.)
Jessie: (looking into binoculars) This is the fourth time we've lost track of the twerps. Help me look for them, you two!
James: (pathetically) but I just wanna eat my doughnut! (Waves doughnut around)
Meowth: stop it! The reason we lost the twerps was because you wanted to stop at the dunkin doughnuts in Olivine!
Jessie: SHUT UP AND HELP ME LOOK!
Meowth: (picking something up) hey, isn't this the twerp's cap? (Holds it up)
James: yea. What's it doing among those bones? (Points at a pile of bones against a palm tree.)
Meowth: (picking something else up) hey, ain't these the twerp's clothes? Boy do they stink! (Holds nose)
James: they've got pretty red paint on them.
Jessie: Look for his belt! (They frantically search. Finally Jessie finds it with the pokeballs still attached)
Jessie: oh look! (Holds them up)
Team rocket: (holding hands in a circle and dancing stupidly) we got our first pokemon! We got our first pokemon!
James: what happened to that twerp anyway?
Meowth: I think he was eaten by something.
Jessie: I always thought that Pikachu looked hungry all the time. (Author's note: yes, I am implying that they can be so stupid to think that Pikachu ate Ash.) Well, let's get going!
(The three of them rush off to their submarine)
Narrator: and now back to our heroes.
(Camera zooms in onto our three heroes walking on the beach.)
Jolteon: this is still kind of boring, isn't it?
Flareon and Umbreon: yea.
Jolteon: well, I suppose we could…
Umbreon: (pointing) what's that?
(Camera zooms in. We see an UFO flying towards our heroes. It extends a tractor beam and sucks our heroes up.)
Jolteon: being kidnapped by aliens is NOT my idea of a holiday!
(The scene changes and our heroes are in the UFO. Cats enters in from a door in the left.
Jolteon: it's you!
Cats: how are you gentlemen.
Jolteon: (whispering to Umbreon) have you got any idea how to get rid of this freak?
Cats: all your base are belong to us.
Umbreon: (whispering back) no. Just try anything.
Cats: you are on the way to destruction.
Jolteon: (whispering to Flareon) gimme your gas can. (Takes the gas can)
Cats: you have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha…
Jolteon: (splashes gas on Cats) TAKE THAT YOU MOTHERF***ER!
Cats: I'M MELTING!!! I'M MELTING!!! (Melts into a gray puddle of slime)
Umbreon: that was easy. Ding-dong, the cyborg is dead.
Flareon: (taking back gas can) so what do we do now?
Jolteon: look for a way out I suppose.
(Our heroes try a door. Behind the door they find a room with many tanks, all filled with green liquid and clones of Tracey Sketchit.)
Jolteon: OH MY MEW!
Flareon: I must be drunk.
Umbreon: first time you admitted that.
Flareon: that freak must have been planning to invade the world with those!
Jolteon: clones…
Umbreon: of evil!
All: WE'VE GOT TO STOP THEM!!!
(They set to work breaking the tanks and destroying as many of the clones as possible. When they finally finish, our heroes are bloodstained all over.)
Jolteon: All right, now how do we escape?
Flareon: maybe we could bust a hole in the side? We're still near where we were picked up (points out of a window)
Jolteon: and what do we do with this UFO?
Umbreon: maybe smashing this would help. (Waves paw at a box labeled "power")
Jolteon: oh whatever. (Sets to work blasting a hole in the wall with Flareon while Umbreon cuts all the wires in the power box.)
Flareon: umm…perhaps we now could jump into the sea?
Jolteon: let's just hope it's not deep. We can't swim.
Flareon: thanks for reminding me. _
(The three of them all down. Flareon manages to land on the beach.)
Flareon: now we watch the pretty fireworks. (Chugs from gas can)
Narrator: not very far away…
(Camera zooms onto Team Rocket. They are resting on another beach.)
Jessie: the boss is gonna be so pleased.
James: yea.
Meowth: (pointing upwards) what's that?
Jessie: (looks up) James! It's a UFO! Take some pictures quick!
James: if I do so, will you let me wear your pink frilly tutu?
Jessie: WHATEVER! JUST TAKE SOME PICTURES!
James: OH GOODY GOODY!!!!! (Pulls out camera and shoots away)
Meowth: it's coming closer.
Jessie: even better! We get to take the alien's pictures! We don't need Team Rocket to be rich and famous anymore!
Meowth: I think it's too close for comfort. (Dives into water)
(The UFO hits the Magikarp submarine and Team Rocket is promptly vaporized in the heat of the blast, leaving nothing but a few greasy stains on the surface of the water.)
Narrator: and back to our heroes. (Camera zooms back to our heroes.)
Umbreon: ooh, nice fireworks.
Jolteon: guess we should be heading back.
Flareon: yea.
(The three of them walk off)
Narrator: to be continued…
How'd you like this silly story? Please put any ideas in your reviews! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon episode 6:
A short, silly brain-dead fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place in Johto, a place that is always sunny.
Narrator: now focus in on a cave on one of four islands in the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms in on one of the islands, then inside a cave. We see Jolteon waking up.)
Jolteon: (yawning) Sigh. Another beautiful day. (Walks out of bedroom. We see Flareon and Umbreon in front of the TV.)
Jolteon: (sleepily) WAZZZZZZZUUUPPP?
Flareon: we're trying to watch TV, but this place has no good channels. (Waves paw in direction of TV.)
Umbreon: yea. Even their Hentai channel hasn't got anything good.
(Camera zooms in on channel list. Channel no. 666 is marked "Raikou's ultra Hentai channel".)
Jolteon: where's Espeon and Vaporeon?
Flareon: still sleeping. Guess they're tired out from last night. (Sniggers and gulps gas from can.)
Jolteon: yea.
Umbreon: I foresee many Eevees. (Grins evilly)
(The three of them crack up and roll on the floor laughing hysterically)
Jolteon: guess we have to go make our own entertainment. Anyone for a walk on the beach before breakfast?
Flareon and Umbreon: HELL YEAH!
Narrator: and so our heroes went out for a walk on the beach. Meanwhile…
(Camera zooms in on another beach. Team rocket is on the beach with their Magikarp submarine.)
Jessie: (looking into binoculars) This is the fourth time we've lost track of the twerps. Help me look for them, you two!
James: (pathetically) but I just wanna eat my doughnut! (Waves doughnut around)
Meowth: stop it! The reason we lost the twerps was because you wanted to stop at the dunkin doughnuts in Olivine!
Jessie: SHUT UP AND HELP ME LOOK!
Meowth: (picking something up) hey, isn't this the twerp's cap? (Holds it up)
James: yea. What's it doing among those bones? (Points at a pile of bones against a palm tree.)
Meowth: (picking something else up) hey, ain't these the twerp's clothes? Boy do they stink! (Holds nose)
James: they've got pretty red paint on them.
Jessie: Look for his belt! (They frantically search. Finally Jessie finds it with the pokeballs still attached)
Jessie: oh look! (Holds them up)
Team rocket: (holding hands in a circle and dancing stupidly) we got our first pokemon! We got our first pokemon!
James: what happened to that twerp anyway?
Meowth: I think he was eaten by something.
Jessie: I always thought that Pikachu looked hungry all the time. (Author's note: yes, I am implying that they can be so stupid to think that Pikachu ate Ash.) Well, let's get going!
(The three of them rush off to their submarine)
Narrator: and now back to our heroes.
(Camera zooms in onto our three heroes walking on the beach.)
Jolteon: this is still kind of boring, isn't it?
Flareon and Umbreon: yea.
Jolteon: well, I suppose we could…
Umbreon: (pointing) what's that?
(Camera zooms in. We see an UFO flying towards our heroes. It extends a tractor beam and sucks our heroes up.)
Jolteon: being kidnapped by aliens is NOT my idea of a holiday!
(The scene changes and our heroes are in the UFO. Cats enters in from a door in the left.
Jolteon: it's you!
Cats: how are you gentlemen.
Jolteon: (whispering to Umbreon) have you got any idea how to get rid of this freak?
Cats: all your base are belong to us.
Umbreon: (whispering back) no. Just try anything.
Cats: you are on the way to destruction.
Jolteon: (whispering to Flareon) gimme your gas can. (Takes the gas can)
Cats: you have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha…
Jolteon: (splashes gas on Cats) TAKE THAT YOU MOTHERF***ER!
Cats: I'M MELTING!!! I'M MELTING!!! (Melts into a gray puddle of slime)
Umbreon: that was easy. Ding-dong, the cyborg is dead.
Flareon: (taking back gas can) so what do we do now?
Jolteon: look for a way out I suppose.
(Our heroes try a door. Behind the door they find a room with many tanks, all filled with green liquid and clones of Tracey Sketchit.)
Jolteon: OH MY MEW!
Flareon: I must be drunk.
Umbreon: first time you admitted that.
Flareon: that freak must have been planning to invade the world with those!
Jolteon: clones…
Umbreon: of evil!
All: WE'VE GOT TO STOP THEM!!!
(They set to work breaking the tanks and destroying as many of the clones as possible. When they finally finish, our heroes are bloodstained all over.)
Jolteon: All right, now how do we escape?
Flareon: maybe we could bust a hole in the side? We're still near where we were picked up (points out of a window)
Jolteon: and what do we do with this UFO?
Umbreon: maybe smashing this would help. (Waves paw at a box labeled "power")
Jolteon: oh whatever. (Sets to work blasting a hole in the wall with Flareon while Umbreon cuts all the wires in the power box.)
Flareon: umm…perhaps we now could jump into the sea?
Jolteon: let's just hope it's not deep. We can't swim.
Flareon: thanks for reminding me. _
(The three of them all down. Flareon manages to land on the beach.)
Flareon: now we watch the pretty fireworks. (Chugs from gas can)
Narrator: not very far away…
(Camera zooms onto Team Rocket. They are resting on another beach.)
Jessie: the boss is gonna be so pleased.
James: yea.
Meowth: (pointing upwards) what's that?
Jessie: (looks up) James! It's a UFO! Take some pictures quick!
James: if I do so, will you let me wear your pink frilly tutu?
Jessie: WHATEVER! JUST TAKE SOME PICTURES!
James: OH GOODY GOODY!!!!! (Pulls out camera and shoots away)
Meowth: it's coming closer.
Jessie: even better! We get to take the alien's pictures! We don't need Team Rocket to be rich and famous anymore!
Meowth: I think it's too close for comfort. (Dives into water)
(The UFO hits the Magikarp submarine and Team Rocket is promptly vaporized in the heat of the blast, leaving nothing but a few greasy stains on the surface of the water.)
Narrator: and back to our heroes. (Camera zooms back to our heroes.)
Umbreon: ooh, nice fireworks.
Jolteon: guess we should be heading back.
Flareon: yea.
(The three of them walk off)
Narrator: to be continued…
How'd you like this silly story? Please put any ideas in your reviews! ^_^