Chapter Four

Harry flopped down on his bed and sighed. It had been a very long day. Although, he hadn't heard of to many rumours being spread about him, there were still a few circling wizarding London.

After making his, very incoherent in his opinion, speech; he had had to explain to his new parents and the Weasleys why he had changed his appearance. The Weasleys, on the whole, had liked it. Mrs Weasley didn't approve, and Mr Weasley expressed no firm views, Harry suspected this was more a case of his trying to stay on Mrs Weasleys good side than his disapproval, Ginny had been rendered dumbstruck, Percy hadn't been there to see it and the rest of the clan loved it.

Maree and Anthony had made it quite clear that they didn't like any of it, but that they were not going to stop him, as long as it didn't become any more extreme.

Harry mocked them all. He didn't care what they thought. He didn't need their approval. As he thought back to the holidays, he realised that he had let his guard down. He had displayed real emotion. Emotion, that he knew could one day cost him the freedom of the world. Until Voldemort was defeated, he knew that his mask would have to go back up.

Harry sighed, he was, in a word, buggered. He hadn't packed and he was to tired at the moment, which meant he would have to get up early and pack before it was time to leave for the Hogwarts Express.

He took his contacts out and set them in a goblet of special magical solution that he had picked up in Diagon Alley, which prevented the contacts from expiring.

Harry was looking forward to seeing Draco the next day, he had only had a couple of letters from him, and they were written as such, that Harry was sure his father had been censoring.

Harry was worried about Draco. He knew that it was hard for him to turn his back on all his family and friends and he was afraid that it would all become to hard and Draco would take the easy way out, and join with Voldemort.

Harry shook his head and told himself not to worry about anything until it happened. He banished all thoughts of Draco from his mind and looked at his list of classes that he had chosen at the last minute.

Advanced DADA, Advanced Transfiguration, Advanced Charms, Care of Magical Creatures, Basic Astronomy and Advanced Potions.

Harry shuddered as he looked at the last class on the list. He had tried to opt out of Potions all together, but it was a compulsory subject and Dumbledore wouldn't change the rules simply because he had some personal issues with the professor. Harry figured that if he was going to do it, and put himself through all the hassle then he may as well make it worth his while and take the Advanced branch, now as he looked at the curriculum, he groaned.

Surely this was too much work for one year; and all with Snape. Perhaps if he kept his head down and worked, Snape would leave him alone. Maybe the threat of his true relationship with Harry being made public would keep him away.

Harry picked up his robes and his wand. Now that he was a Senior, there was more flexibility in the dress code. Colours of the actual uniform were optional and Harry was planning on taking advantage of it. With a flick of his wand his uniform turned black.

Harry reached over to the pile of clothes on the ground. He pulled out a pair of boxers to sleep in. As he lifted his arms to remove his singlet he caught sight of his arms. There were no recent scars. He missed cutting his arms. His leg provided the painful bliss that his body and mind craved, but he needed the daily reminder of why he was continuing. Every scar represented some form of problem that he had to make right with someone. He needed to repay the debt, that had been caused by each scar and the only way he could do that in his mind was to defeat Voldemort.

He was jerked from his thoughts by screaming from the next room. It was Hermione and Ron again. Harry sighed. If this was the way they were going to behave all year then he would bugger off to some other part of the country. Wearily he rose from the bed to go and referee this new conflict between the two.

When he got to Rons room, however, he met the two walking out with smiles on their faces.

'Have you sorted it out?' Harry asked hopefully, he needed to get to bed, his scar was beginning to hurt and he rubbed it absentmindedly.

For once Ron and Hermione didn't notice. 'We broke up.'

Harry stopped and stared at them through drooping eyelids. 'Broke up? As in: not together? What's with the happy faces? I would expect to be up all night consoling both of you.'

Ron shook his head, 'well, Harry mate, at first we figured that our fighting was due to a build up of sexual tension so we got together, but now we have figured out the real reason.'

Harry was getting to tired to play games. 'Which is?'

'We both piss the shit out of one another. Nothing to do with sexual tension. She simply is a know-it-all.'

'and he simply is a daft prick.'

Harry shook his head. 'Fuck you both. I've never heard of something so simple being turned into the soap opera that you have made it into. I'm going to bed.'

As he shut the door to his bedroom he heard Ron saying bemusedly to Hermione 'what's a soap opera?'

The next morning, Harry awoke to his scar burning above his forehead. He staggered from his bed, into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his head.

Turning to one of the bags that lay on his floor he pulled out some aspirin and gulped four down. Gagging slightly at the taste he set about rimming his eyes with black.

When he had finished he put on a pair jeans with frayed edges and a woollen v-necked jumper. Over it he put on his black jacket.

Then he opened his case and dumped every single thing that he owned into it every which way and jumped on it until it would close, then he left it by the door and went down to breakfast.

*****************

Harry sat on the rumbling train. His head was pounding and Pig screeching in the corner wasn't helping. Harry was glad he had sent Hedwig with Lucifer on ahead.

The morning at the station had been remarkably good. No one had recognised him, so he had been able to board the train without any hassle. He had been informed that Draco was getting to the castle by other means of transport.

The boys from his year had joined him, Ron and Hermione in their compartment and the door had been locked and Hermione had cast a spell on it so any student that would come near it would walk straight past without considering entering, even if it had been their express purpose of seeing Harry.

Harry suddenly groaned as the pounding in his head doubled. He fell to his knees and grabbed the seat in front of him as his friends crowded around him. Ron placed his hand on Harry's shoulders and Hermione removed the spell from the door in case it got so severe that they had to find an adult.

Dean crouched in front of Harry 'what's wrong, Harry? Can you tell us?'

Harry had black rivlets coursing down his face as his eyes watered and he gasped and retched in agony. 'Scar.hurting.warning.'

Suddenly he spasmed and went rigid, he flailed around and fell to the ground, knocking Ron into the corner. Blaise Zambini appeared in the doorway, having come to see if the rumours about Harry's new appearance were true.

Harry began to foam at the mouth and moaning and wailing incoherently.

~*~*~ The train began to sway from side to side. The occupants of the carriage grabbed onto the sides of their compartment and looked at each other nervously. The train gave a sickening lurch and the side door flew open. The exploding snap cards that Ron and Dean had been playing with fell to the ground and exploded, Ginny shrieked as she jumped and began to lose her grip on the seat. The train was now screaming around the bend on a bridge, going so fast Harry didn't know how it could be on such an angle yet stay upright.

'Ginny!' Ron's panicked scream filled the carriage as Ginny's sweat slicked hands began sliding around on the leather of the seat she was clutching at.

Hermione could only look on in horror as her wand flew out of the door quickly followed by most of the groups' belongings. She and Harry and Ron's dorm-mates had managed to manoeuvre themselves to the opposite end of the compartment where they could maintain a reasonable level of safety as long as the wall of the carriage could maintain their weight.

Harry, Blaise and Ron were holding onto the poles situated below the bag racks, usually used to help occupants of the carriage maintain their balance if they were standing. Ron was staring in frozen horror at Ginny as Harry tried to use the pole as muggle monkey bars in an attempt to rescue her. Blaise let go one hand to slap Ron across the face.

'Weasley! Snap out of it. Help Potter damn it.'

Ron shook his head as he tried to comprehend the situation. Ginny's terrified wailings were echoing around the valley below them coupled with other students terrified screams. The screaming brought him back to the present and he imitated Harry's movements to shift across the carriage.

By the time Harry reached Ginny his arms were shaking with terror and the effort of holding his bodyweight. He felt Ron's hand grab his for support and he felt slightly better as he reached down to Ginny.

'Ginny! I need you to grab my hand. Can you do that for me? Just one hand and we'll get you to safety. Come on sweetie, it will be ok. Just give me your hand.'

Ginny hesitantly raised one hand to Harry's, clutching at the slippery seat cover even more desperately. Just as she brushed his fingers the train lurched and shuddered to a sudden halt. Hermione hid her face in Seamus's shirt as Ginny lost her grip on the seat. The terror on her face was only superseded by the horror and despair of her scream as she plummeted down the ravine until her wailing was suddenly cut off.

'GINNY!'

Ron stared down the ravine after her body, his face as white as death. His grip loosened on the pole and Harry grabbed him, yet not seeing him. All he could see was Ginny's terrified face and all he could feel was the brush of her fingers against his.

Somehow they made it to the safety of the other side of the carriage. A trunk had been discovered hidden in the bag rack containing Neville's wand and he used it to shut the door to the carriage. However nothing could block out the screaming of their class mates following Ginny over edge of the bridge. The little group sat huddled in a corner seeking support from their companions.

Hours went by and at last they heard the voices of adults. Relief began to course through the veins of the group until they heard.

'Crucio!'

The screaming that followed was horrendous as they felt their carriage pulled upright by some invisible force. Seamus made his way to the window, trying to smash it so they could plummet to a quick death instead of the one that awaited them. The window, however, had had an unbreakable charm placed on it and his attempts were futile. The door flew open with a crash and Hermione began to wail and moan as a tall, thin white skinned, red-eyed creature entered.

'Tut tut, Miss Granger. Where is your Gryffindor pride?'

Harry stood up, holding Neville's wand in front of him. He was filled with wretchedness. He knew that he couldn't do any spells well with another persons wand but despair irrationally won.

As he stood up straight he felt the familiar cold wash over him as two black robed and scabbed creatures made their way towards him. He heard the weak cries of his friends and grimly held onto the wand in his hand. He heard his fathers voice as he fought to stay upright.

Trying to summon a happy memory he yelled 'Expecto Patronum'. Nothing happened. Harry knew it was inevitable. How could anyone remember anything remotely happy at a time like this? He didn't even think he had any memories left inside him except for the previous few hours.

From far away he heard voices 'Harry! Leave him alone you fucking coward!'

But they were soon drowned out by his mothers pleas. As he felt himself being lifted and opened his eyes to see, for the second and last time in his life, the eye-less face of a Dementor all he could hear was Voldemort's laugh. It echoed inside his brain and around the carriage as he felt the cold lips of the Dementor fasten onto him and he felt his soul slipping away into the darkness, the blackness filled only by that laugh, jeering and cackling and.~*~*~

Harry blinked. He opened his eyes to the all to familiar whiteness of the Infirmary.

'What the.?'

'Harry, glad you could join us in the land of the living.'

Harry looked up into the strained eyes of Albus Dumbledore.

'Land of the living? But they attacked us. Where did the Dementor go? I'm supposed to be a soulless shell. Is Ron alright? How is he coping about Ginny? I tried to save her, really I did professor. I nearly had her. I felt her fingers but the train stopped and she fell.she just fell. Down, down, down. Screams, endless screams. I saw her face, she was so terrified. Nothing I could do, but I should have. I did try, please believe me.' Harry began babbling as his memories formed in his mind. He began gasping for air, but he couldn't breathe.

'Harry, Harry calm down. Breathe, you have to breathe. Listen to me, there is nothing wrong with Miss Weasley. She is fine. No Dementors. No attack. You were on the Hogwarts Express and you had a fit. They stopped the train to get you here quickly. There was no attack. You have been unconscious for two days.'

'But it was so real. I could smell Voldemort. He has this snaky smell and he was there. I felt my soul leaving me.'

'Harry, it sounds like you may have had a vision or a premonition. I'm not quite sure how or why, but your symptoms indicated that you were having a premonition.'

'But, sir, premonitions indicate something to come, but you said nothing happened.' Harry looked up at Dumbledore, half relieved and half suspicious.

'Premonitions are fickle things, Harry, and whatever is seen by the one experiencing the premonition is usually only one path that the future events might take. I believe that there may have been a planned attack on the Hogwarts Express, but I also believe that it was your premonition of these same events that caused the train to be stopped and thus instigated another path that the events might take.'

Harry stared at him for a moment. 'Are you trying to tell me that it was my having this premonition which prevented the premonition from coming true?'

Dumbledore nodded grimly. 'Yes, Harry. It appears that we were amazingly lucky this time. I do not expect that we will have the same luck ever again. Now get some rest, Harry. You need a long dreamless sleep. Drink this.'

Harry gulped down the vile tasting potion quickly, determined that he would finish the lot before falling into a blissful sleep.
*********

Harry awoke with a start from his sleep. Something was different as he looked around the infirmary. Something wasn't quite right. Harry automatically reached for his glasses and then it hit him. Whoever had put him in the bed hadn't removed his contacts and for the first time that he could recall he had awoken without the whole world being fuzzy.

He looked around the room that he had come to know almost intimately in his years at school. The cracks in the ceiling were just the same the one in the corner that looked like Sirius in his snuffles form, curled up and scratching. The squiggle that if looked at closely resembled Dumbledore's half-moon glasses. It was the one above the door that had made Harry laugh. It consisted of two circular cracks and one thin line which reminded Harry of the Dursley's as they had been before Petunia's suicide.

Harry was rescued from his thoughts by the door opening. No one was on the other side. Harry rubbed his eyes and looked again. Nope, still no-one there. Harry shrugged as the door closed itself assuming Peeves was up to his old tricks. Suddenly Ron, Hermione and Draco appeared out of thin air. Hermione quickly put her hand over Harry's mouth to prevent him from yelling.

'Shhhhhhhh.'

'Fucking hell, Hermione! You guys scared the crap out of me.'

Ron lifted his mouth in a half-grin as he looked at his friend. 'So, you feeling alright?'

Harry nodded. 'What time is it?'

'It's three in the morning and we are wasting our much needed sleep coming to visit you, because Dumbledore wouldn't let us earlier.'

Harry looked at him. 'I am eternally grateful to you Mr Weasley. I do realise how hard it must be for you to lose your beauty sleep. Especially when it is needed as much as yours is.'

'Oy, that was harsh.'

Hermione brushed him out of the way. 'Be quiet, Ron. Harry, what happened?'

Harry closed his eyes briefly. 'I had a vision, a premonition, Dumbledore called it.'

Ron moved closer to the bed. 'Of what?' 'The Hogwarts Express crashing. I don't really want to go into details, but basically Ginny fell off that huge bridge that we got chased by the train on in our second year, then the Death Eaters came and I was given the Dementors kiss.'

Ron looked slightly sick. 'But, it was only a vision, mate. It didn't happen.'

'Yeah, but if I hadn't had the vision and caused you guys to stop the train, it would have happened.'

Ron sat down suddenly. 'So, if you hadn't had that vision, then we would all be dead by now.'

'Yep.'

'Bloody hell!'

There was a long silence while everyone weighed up the implications of what Harry had said. It was Ron who broke the silence.

'Well, thanks mate.'

'Don't mention it. Any time.'

Harry looked around to see Draco heading towards the door.

'Where are you off to? Haven't even said hello.' Harry's tone grew increasingly accusing although he tried to fight it.

'Why weren't you on the train?'

Draco turned. 'Lucius decided it would be best for him to apparate me to Hogsmeade and then I walk from there to the school.'

'Why?'

'Well, it's obvious, isn't it Potter? He knew what was going to happen and he didn't want me being killed.'

Harry hated himself for doing it, but he had to know. 'Did you know what was happening?'

Draco stood silently by the door as three pairs of eyes fastened on his face.

'Answer me, Draco! Did you know what was happening?'

'I wasn't officially told, but I suspected.' Harry lay back in his bed. 'And you didn't consider telling anyone?'

'Of course I did! What do you take me for, but I couldn't. If the plan fell through and it was my fault, Lucius would kill me.'

'That's fair enough, Harry.' Ron attempted to intervene.

'No, it's not. You are hearing what he is telling you to hear, a trick that I am sure his lovely father taught him. What he actually what he should be saying, is that he would prefer the whole school died than him. He is willing to let innocent children be tortured, raped and murdered, rather than risk his own worthless life to save them. Does that sound familiar, guys? Does that sound like what Wormtail did to my parents? Except that this is much worse, because instead of a family of three being slaughtered because of one man's cowardice, this is an entire school of children.'

Hermione and Ron's faces twisted with the realisation and horror of what Harry was saying. All three stared at Draco, whose head was bowed in shame and misery.

'I.I, what I mean is.I didn't know.the extent of.the.. what my fa-Lucius was planning. If I had. then.I. things might have been diff - '

'They would not have been different. You haven't been the son of a Death Eater for sixteen years without knowing what is going on or being able to imagine what "extent" that your father goes to for his master.'

'I.I.I.'

'Yes?' Harry sneered.

'I didn't think. I'm sorry.' Draco cast a pleading glance at Harry who stared stonily back. Ron and Hermione wouldn't look at him and, with his head bent Draco swallowed the lump that was climbing up his throat and crept out of the room.

Hermione looked at Harry, tears swimming in her eyes. 'Did you have to be so harsh?'

'Hermione, you didn't have to have that vision. You didn't awaken to find that the entire fate of the school rested on you having that vision. You didn't have to be the one who couldn't quite save Ginny from falling. You aren't the one whose fingers brushed hers before you watched her terrified face as she plunged to the bottom of the cliff. You didn't have to experience the Dementors about to kiss you and hear your mother screaming as it tried to drain your soul. And above all you didn't awaken to find that your friend knew what was about to happen but refused to do anything to save his own skin in the same cowardly way that got your parents killed. So don't you dare try and tell me that I was being to harsh.'

Ron looked between the two of them, trying to find a way to break the frosty silence.

'So, Harry how does it feel to have missed the first two days of school? Lucky bugger, not that we did anything, mind you. Our wonderful friend Seamus decided to use your missing out on class to prevent us doing any real work. All we did is revision, and because the school week began on Wednesday you have the weekend to bludge.'