Author's note: I don't own Pokemon…nor do I own any other characters I did
not create myself. If I did, it wouldn't be a Fan-fic, right? Thanks all
who reviewed this story…please put ideas in your reviews! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon episode 8:
A short, silly brain-dead fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place in Johto, a place that is always sunny.
Narrator: now focus in on a beach on one of four islands in the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
Narrator: as you know, our heroes were relaxing on the beach when Espeon started sleep talking. Jolteon, Umbreon and Flareon are eavesdropping on his speech.
(Camera zooms in on beach. We see the three of them clustered around Espeon's deckchair.)
Espeon: (Sleep talking) please…mommy don't spank me!
Jolteon: why is he so obsessed with not being spanked?
Umbreon: Ssh. This is getting interesting.
Espeon: NO! I didn't steal Vaporeon's cotton candy!
Umbreon: huh?
Jolteon: I think I remember…
Flareon: I think so too…it was that time when Vaporeon's mother took us to the funfair, right?
(Flashback to 20 years ago. The camera is black-and-white. Jolteon, Flareon, Vaporeon and Umbreon were then young Eevee pups, but for the sake of familiarity I will call them by their names. Vaporeon's mother is trying to keep them under control.)
Vaporeon's mother: stop it! (To Jolteon, Flareon and Umbreon) I promised your parents I'd bring you back in one piece, and I'll do it by hook or by crook! NOW BEHAVE!
Jolteon, Flareon and Umbreon: (reluctantly) aww…
Vaporeon's mother: (to Vaporeon) young lady, your shoelace is untied. Would you be so kind as to tie it now?
(Vaporeon puts the cotton candy she was about to eat right-way up on a bench, then turns her back to it and ties her shoelace. When she reaches back for her cotton candy, it is gone.)
Vaporeon: WAAAAAHHHH!!! MOMMY!!! SOMEONE STOLE MY COTTON CANDY!!! ;__;
Vaporeon's mother: (sighs) young lady, I think if you don't take care of your cotton candy, I don't think you deserve to eat it. Now come along.
Vaporeon: it wasn't my fault. *Sob* ;_; (Walks off slowly with them)
(Flashback ends)
Jolteon: boy, was she sad for days after that.
Flareon: and our trip was ruined, she just wouldn't stop crying.
Umbreon: that Espeon never told us he went to the funfair too.
Flareon: well, do you think he really did steal Vaporeon's cotton candy?
Jolteon: I dunno. Maybe.
Umbreon: well, let's put this poor guy out of his misery. (Grabs Espeon's shoulder and shakes him roughly)
Espeon: (sleepily) Wha…huh? I must have dozed off in the sun.
Jolteon: you did.
Espeon: thanks guys, I was having this really horrible nightmare.
Umbreon: tell us about it. You were making so much noise that we were distracted.
Espeon: (sheepishly) sorry.
Jolteon: well, what do we do now?
Flareon: I have no idea.
Umbreon: I think I see something in the distance. (Points in direction)
Narrator: not very far away…
(Camera scene changes. We see Major Marco and Captain Tarma from Metal Slug walking along the beach.)
Marco: do you think we landed in the right place?
Tarma: no idea.
Marco: I mean, we were briefed that there would be dozens of gigantic crabs waiting to kill us but there's nothing here.
Tarma: why, you think HQ screwed us up again and landed us in the wrong place?
Marco: probably. There's always something waiting to kill us.
Tarma: well we could always call HQ to clarify our position. (Presses buttons on walkie-talkie. Nothing is heard but static.) F***.
Marco: seems like HQ screwed us up big time.
Tarma: well what do we do now?
Marco: look for a phone booth?
Tarma: good idea.
(They walk off into the distance.)
Narrator: meanwhile… (Camera zooms back to our heroes)
Espeon: I think I see it too.
Umbreon: they seem to be humans.
Flareon: and they're coming our way.
Umbreon: whatever.
Narrator: meanwhile… (Camera zooms back to Marco and Tarma. Suddenly, a Togepi walks out from a bush.)
Marco: hello, what's this?
Togepi: Togeprrrrrrrrriiiiii!!! (Yet another two stupid humans)
Tarma: it must be a creation of General Modern! Kill it!
(Marco lowers his shotgun at the Togepi.)
Togepi: Togepi? (Are you worshipping me?)
(Marco pulls the trigger. The Togepi explodes in a cloud of eggshell.)
Marco: now I've got egg white all over my face.
Tarma: come on; let's go look for a phone booth. (They walk off)
Narrator: and now back to our heroes.
Espeon: well it seems like they're coming towards us.
(Marco and Tarma walk in from outside the camera.)
Marco: um, could anyone tell me if we are at the Beach Full Of Giant Crabs That Want To Kill You, game coordinates 66:19:91?
Jolteon: no, you're at the Whirl Islands, game coordinates 16:61:99.
Tarma: (grimly) I think I see why we landed here instead.
Marco: I think I see it too.
Tarma: (To Jolteon) got any inter-game phone we could use?
Jolteon: Umbreon…
Umbreon: umm…yea. (Pulls out cell phone and hands it to Tarma. Tarma takes it and feverishly begins pressing buttons.)
Flareon: I never knew you had a cell phone Umbreon.
Umbreon: bought it with the big bag of cash I had the other day.
Tarma: (into cell phone) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) why on earth did that F***ing pilot have the slip of paper upside down? We could have been stranded in the middle of Half-Life for all you know!
Marco: (to Flareon) got any beer I could buy off you? I'm dying for a drink.
Espeon: um…they don't sell beer in this game.
Marco: darn. _
Tarma: (into cell phone) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities).
Espeon: your friend sure knows a lot of profanities right?
Marco: umm…yeah. He doesn't usually speak a lot. Blame it on SNK.
Umbreon: could I borrow your sniper rifle?
Marco: whatever. Just return it later.
(Umbreon takes the sniper rifle, and sets it to "Super-unrealistic zoom that can never be achieved in real life", and aims it at the pokemon center in Olivine. He waits till the red dot is over Nurse Joy's head, the pulls the trigger. The camera follows the bullet all the way, and it enters Nurse Joy's head, causing it to explode like a melon.)
Nurse Joy: (from far away) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa………..
Umbreon: (grinning) that was fun. (Hands the rifle back to Marco.)
Tarma: (into cell phone) and this time, make sure you get it right! (Switches off cell phone and returns it to Umbreon) (To Marco) the chopper should be here in a few minutes.
Marco: thank guys for your help.
Jolteon, Flareon, Espeon and Umbreon: whatever.
(A helicopter flies in from the distance and extends a rope ladder, which Marco and Tarma climb up. It then flies away.)
Espeon: so what do we do now?
Flareon: wait for Lccorp2 to write the next episode, duh.
Espeon: ok.
Narrator: to be continued…
How'd you like this silly story? ^_^ Please review and tell me what you think and of any ideas! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon episode 8:
A short, silly brain-dead fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place in Johto, a place that is always sunny.
Narrator: now focus in on a beach on one of four islands in the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
Narrator: as you know, our heroes were relaxing on the beach when Espeon started sleep talking. Jolteon, Umbreon and Flareon are eavesdropping on his speech.
(Camera zooms in on beach. We see the three of them clustered around Espeon's deckchair.)
Espeon: (Sleep talking) please…mommy don't spank me!
Jolteon: why is he so obsessed with not being spanked?
Umbreon: Ssh. This is getting interesting.
Espeon: NO! I didn't steal Vaporeon's cotton candy!
Umbreon: huh?
Jolteon: I think I remember…
Flareon: I think so too…it was that time when Vaporeon's mother took us to the funfair, right?
(Flashback to 20 years ago. The camera is black-and-white. Jolteon, Flareon, Vaporeon and Umbreon were then young Eevee pups, but for the sake of familiarity I will call them by their names. Vaporeon's mother is trying to keep them under control.)
Vaporeon's mother: stop it! (To Jolteon, Flareon and Umbreon) I promised your parents I'd bring you back in one piece, and I'll do it by hook or by crook! NOW BEHAVE!
Jolteon, Flareon and Umbreon: (reluctantly) aww…
Vaporeon's mother: (to Vaporeon) young lady, your shoelace is untied. Would you be so kind as to tie it now?
(Vaporeon puts the cotton candy she was about to eat right-way up on a bench, then turns her back to it and ties her shoelace. When she reaches back for her cotton candy, it is gone.)
Vaporeon: WAAAAAHHHH!!! MOMMY!!! SOMEONE STOLE MY COTTON CANDY!!! ;__;
Vaporeon's mother: (sighs) young lady, I think if you don't take care of your cotton candy, I don't think you deserve to eat it. Now come along.
Vaporeon: it wasn't my fault. *Sob* ;_; (Walks off slowly with them)
(Flashback ends)
Jolteon: boy, was she sad for days after that.
Flareon: and our trip was ruined, she just wouldn't stop crying.
Umbreon: that Espeon never told us he went to the funfair too.
Flareon: well, do you think he really did steal Vaporeon's cotton candy?
Jolteon: I dunno. Maybe.
Umbreon: well, let's put this poor guy out of his misery. (Grabs Espeon's shoulder and shakes him roughly)
Espeon: (sleepily) Wha…huh? I must have dozed off in the sun.
Jolteon: you did.
Espeon: thanks guys, I was having this really horrible nightmare.
Umbreon: tell us about it. You were making so much noise that we were distracted.
Espeon: (sheepishly) sorry.
Jolteon: well, what do we do now?
Flareon: I have no idea.
Umbreon: I think I see something in the distance. (Points in direction)
Narrator: not very far away…
(Camera scene changes. We see Major Marco and Captain Tarma from Metal Slug walking along the beach.)
Marco: do you think we landed in the right place?
Tarma: no idea.
Marco: I mean, we were briefed that there would be dozens of gigantic crabs waiting to kill us but there's nothing here.
Tarma: why, you think HQ screwed us up again and landed us in the wrong place?
Marco: probably. There's always something waiting to kill us.
Tarma: well we could always call HQ to clarify our position. (Presses buttons on walkie-talkie. Nothing is heard but static.) F***.
Marco: seems like HQ screwed us up big time.
Tarma: well what do we do now?
Marco: look for a phone booth?
Tarma: good idea.
(They walk off into the distance.)
Narrator: meanwhile… (Camera zooms back to our heroes)
Espeon: I think I see it too.
Umbreon: they seem to be humans.
Flareon: and they're coming our way.
Umbreon: whatever.
Narrator: meanwhile… (Camera zooms back to Marco and Tarma. Suddenly, a Togepi walks out from a bush.)
Marco: hello, what's this?
Togepi: Togeprrrrrrrrriiiiii!!! (Yet another two stupid humans)
Tarma: it must be a creation of General Modern! Kill it!
(Marco lowers his shotgun at the Togepi.)
Togepi: Togepi? (Are you worshipping me?)
(Marco pulls the trigger. The Togepi explodes in a cloud of eggshell.)
Marco: now I've got egg white all over my face.
Tarma: come on; let's go look for a phone booth. (They walk off)
Narrator: and now back to our heroes.
Espeon: well it seems like they're coming towards us.
(Marco and Tarma walk in from outside the camera.)
Marco: um, could anyone tell me if we are at the Beach Full Of Giant Crabs That Want To Kill You, game coordinates 66:19:91?
Jolteon: no, you're at the Whirl Islands, game coordinates 16:61:99.
Tarma: (grimly) I think I see why we landed here instead.
Marco: I think I see it too.
Tarma: (To Jolteon) got any inter-game phone we could use?
Jolteon: Umbreon…
Umbreon: umm…yea. (Pulls out cell phone and hands it to Tarma. Tarma takes it and feverishly begins pressing buttons.)
Flareon: I never knew you had a cell phone Umbreon.
Umbreon: bought it with the big bag of cash I had the other day.
Tarma: (into cell phone) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) why on earth did that F***ing pilot have the slip of paper upside down? We could have been stranded in the middle of Half-Life for all you know!
Marco: (to Flareon) got any beer I could buy off you? I'm dying for a drink.
Espeon: um…they don't sell beer in this game.
Marco: darn. _
Tarma: (into cell phone) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities) (Japanese profanities).
Espeon: your friend sure knows a lot of profanities right?
Marco: umm…yeah. He doesn't usually speak a lot. Blame it on SNK.
Umbreon: could I borrow your sniper rifle?
Marco: whatever. Just return it later.
(Umbreon takes the sniper rifle, and sets it to "Super-unrealistic zoom that can never be achieved in real life", and aims it at the pokemon center in Olivine. He waits till the red dot is over Nurse Joy's head, the pulls the trigger. The camera follows the bullet all the way, and it enters Nurse Joy's head, causing it to explode like a melon.)
Nurse Joy: (from far away) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa………..
Umbreon: (grinning) that was fun. (Hands the rifle back to Marco.)
Tarma: (into cell phone) and this time, make sure you get it right! (Switches off cell phone and returns it to Umbreon) (To Marco) the chopper should be here in a few minutes.
Marco: thank guys for your help.
Jolteon, Flareon, Espeon and Umbreon: whatever.
(A helicopter flies in from the distance and extends a rope ladder, which Marco and Tarma climb up. It then flies away.)
Espeon: so what do we do now?
Flareon: wait for Lccorp2 to write the next episode, duh.
Espeon: ok.
Narrator: to be continued…
How'd you like this silly story? ^_^ Please review and tell me what you think and of any ideas! ^_^