Author's note: I do not own pokemon, nor do I own any other characters not
created by me. Ok? Now let's get on with the story! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 10:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms in on Jolteon. We see him sipping coffee.)
Jolteon: what a fine day. (A knock at the door is heard.)
Articuno: mail's here! (She flies off)
Jolteon: (sighs) civil servants. (Opens door and collects the mail.) Let's see…flame…bill…review…bill…Arctic Digest…sigh.
(Jolteon puts the rest of the mail down and rips open the packaging of the Arctic Digest, then settles down to read it.)
Jolteon: nothing like a good magazine over a cup of coffee.
(A short note falls out from the magazine)
Jolteon: (picks it up) hello, what's this? (Reading from note) dear sir, thank you for taking part in our last lucky draw. You have just won gift vouchers worth 50,000 pokebucks for the Goldenrod City Mall. Thank you and we hope that you will take part in our contests again.
(Jolteon sits down and finishes his coffee.)
Jolteon: maybe I should be telling the others about this. (Exits his igloo.)
(Half an hour later, inside Umbreon's igloo.)
Umbreon: #$@& computer…why on earth did you hang again? (Hears knock at door.) Come in!
Jolteon: (entering) hey, could I borrow your cell phone for a while?
Umbreon: whatever. You'll have to charge the batteries for me, they're flat. (Hands it to Jolteon.)
Jolteon: 'k. (Takes the batteries out and jiggles them in his paw for a bit.) there, all done.
Umbreon: (turning computer off) whatever.
Jolteon: (into cell phone) hey, Vaporeon, could you ask the others to meet me at the newly built Ice Cave Magnet train station? I won a bunch of shopping vouchers I can't spend all by myself. K. Seeya there.
(One and a half hour later. Our gang of five is on the Magnet train.)
Espeon: I still don't understand why you're so generous.
Jolteon: can you spend 50,000 pokebucks all by yourself in one day?
Espeon: um…good point.
Flareon: (chugging from gas can) I don't understand why you had to bring that Railgun, Umbreon.
Umbreon: I like it.
Vaporeon: WHATEVER!!! I LOOOVVVEEE SHOPPING!!! ^_^
PA system: we have arrived at Goldenrod station. We hope to see you again.
Flareon: (To Jolteon) by the way, how'd you get your hands on that rail pass?
Jolteon: got it off a fat slowpoke.
Flareon: oh.
Espeon: well, let's get off.
(Two hours later. Our heroes are at the Goldenrod City Mall.)
Umbreon: are you sure you wanna buy that Quake III Arena CD?
Jolteon: well you bought a Pokemon Silver cartridge, a GBA, a Gameshark, and a whole load of those green crates marked "Slugs". I don't see why I can't buy this.
Flareon: all I want is gas. (Chugs from gas can.)
Jolteon: yes, but I don't see why you had to buy a whole tanker of it.
Umbreon: drunkard.
Flareon: (slurring) shuddup. People were staring at your Railgun. (Drinks from Gas can.)
Umbreon: I like it.
Jolteon: (pointing) oh look here come the lovers.
Flareon: (to Vaporeon) so, what did you two buy?
Vaporeon: well, we…
(Suddenly, evil laughter is heard crackling over the radio installed into the Mall's PA system.)
PA system: I am Giovanni, leader of Team Gay-Ass Rocket. Fear me, people of Goldenrod. I will take over the whole world!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jolteon: oh look another stupid loser.
Vaporeon: what say we go sort out this loser?
All: HELL YEAH!
(Half an hour later. Our heroes are outside the Radio Tower.)
Jolteon: all right, so what do we do now?
(Suddenly, we see the bots from Quake III Arena. They are walking down the street.)
Umbreon: hey guys…
Sarge: oh no. Don't ask us to fight. We're on our offday.
Umbreon: no wonder I couldn't load my bots and my computer hung up on me.
Visor: sorry, kid. Any way we can make it up to you?
Jolteon: well, you could lend us your weapons. We're going off to fight Team Gay-Ass Rocket.
Grunt: (pointing at Umbreon) hey, he has my Railgun!
Umbreon: oops. Sorry. Want it back?
Grunt: nah. Thanks to you, I've discovered my hidden talent with the lightning gun! Ya can keep it!
Umbreon: thanks dude.
Sarge: well, let's share our tools of death with these dudes here! Just return it later on, 'k?
(The Bots produce their weapons and throw it in a large heap.)
Stripe: well, help yourself.
(Our heroes climb onto the pile of weapons and pick some out.)
Jolteon: this looks nice. (Picks up Machinegun and a Gauntlet.)
Flareon: I agree. (Picks up a Shotgun.)
Vaporeon: well, you lot could use some heavy firepower. (Hoists Rocket Launcher onto her shoulder.)
Espeon: oh look! A cool toy! (Lifts up Plasmagun.)
Umbreon: I think I'll stick with this. (Waves Railgun about.)
Visor: oh, yes. Just take this. You never know if you might need it. (Hands Jolteon a box.)
Jolteon: what's in the box?
Visor: it's a surprise.
Jolteon: oh.
(Suddenly, our heroes hear a voice out of nowhere.)
Voice: You Are Tied For The Lead.
Flareon: what's that?
Stripe: we just call it the Voice. It erm, congratulates us.
Flareon: 'k.
Sarge, Stripe, Visor and Grunt: good luck!
Jolteon, Flareon, Vaporeon, Espeon and Umbreon: GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!
(Five minutes later. The camera shows Umbreon perched on top of one of the buildings adjacent to the Radio Tower.)
Jolteon: (through walkie-talkie) *kkkhhhhtttt* Umbreon, do you see those two Rockets stationed outside the main entrance? Take them out. Over. *Kkkhhhhtttt*
Umbreon: *kkkhhhhtttt* roger that. Over. *Kkkhhhhtttt* (Takes aim with the Railgun, and fires. The first Rocket explodes in a spray of blood. He takes aim again, and fires before the Second Rocket has a chance to sound the alarm.)
Voice: Impressive.
Jolteon: *Kkkhhhhtttt* good job. We're going in. Cover us. Over. *Kkkhhhhtttt*
Umbreon: *Kkkhhhhtttt* Roger that. Over. *Kkkhhhhtttt*
(The camera zooms to our four heroes. They charge into the Radio Tower.)
Jolteon: take that you vibrator-chewers! (Fires Machinegun wildly. Three Rockets are gunned down.)
Voice: You Have Taken The Lead.
Flareon: woohoo! This is fun! (Blasts away with shotgun.)
Espeon: hey, Vaporeon watch it behind you! (Vaporeon turns round and sees two rockets trying to gang up on her.)
Vaporeon: oh, trying to pick on the girl? (Fires a rocket. It hits them right on, turning them into unidentifiable pieces of meat.)
Voice: Excellent.
Espeon: this is a nice toy. (Fires Plasmagun into a doorway. Many Rockets are melted into liquid.)
(A blue laser bursts in through a window and blows two Rockets to pieces.)
Flareon: seems like Umbreon's not missing out on the fun.
Flareon: Jolteon and Vaporeon, go up! Espeon and I will hold em off!
(Vaporeon and Jolteon race up the stairs to the third level.)
Jolteon: great. More Rockets.
Vaporeon: kill em all! (Fires Rocket Launcher wildly in all directions. Soon, the room is filled with dead or dying Rockets.)
Jolteon: now, what do we do about this door? (Gestures at the metal door.)
Vaporeon: stand back. (Launches rocket at door. The door is blown into many pieces.) You go on ahead. I'll cover your back.
(Jolteon goes up the stairs to the fourth level. It is empty, except for…)
Jolteon: Barney the Dinosaur!
Barney: (Happily) oh look! Another friend!
Jolteon: AAH!!!!! NO!!!!! SPAWN OF SATAN!!!! BEGONE!!!!!
Barney: come on, won't you give your friend a great big hug?
Jolteon: (equips the Gauntlet and slowly moves towards Barney with the Gauntlet a-buzzing) yes, why of course I'll give you a great big hug!
Barney: (strides over to Jolteon happily) goody! Come on; give your friend barney a great big hug!
(Jolteon gives Barney a great big whack. The Gauntlet cuts through Barney's cranium, neatly slicing it in half. Barney slumps to the floor.)
Voice: JUBILATION!!!!!
Jolteon: that's one less horror on this earth. (Equips Machinegun again)
(Jolteon races up the steps to the fifth floor, where he finds…)
Jolteon: Giovanni!
Giovanni: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Worm, do you think you can defeat me? Prepare to die! (Brings out two Miniguns and starts firing. Jolteon ducks for cover behind a filing cabinet.)
Giovanni: come out, ballless coward, and fight!
Jolteon: well, this is an emergency. (Opens box. He is instantly encased in a shimmering blue light.)
Voice: QUAD DAMAGE!
Jolteon: cool! (Comes out and fires a few rounds at Giovanni. They miss and hit the table, which explodes in a shower of splinters.)
Giovanni: NO FAIR! CHEATER! I WANT MY MOMMY! (Breaks down and cries)
Jolteon: NO MERCY! (Pumps Giovanni full of lead.)
(Vaporeon comes up)
Vaporeon: I heard the noise and thought you might need some help…(eyes Jolteon up and down) hey…nice color.
Jolteon: thanks. Let's go down and collect the others.
(Fifteen minutes later. They are returning the stuff to the Bots.)
Sarge: so, was that fun?
Flareon: yea.
Sarge: believe me…it's fun at first but when you do it day after day…
Umbreon: nice color Jolteon.
Jolteon: thanks. (The Quad Damage wears off.)
Umbreon: then again, maybe not.
Vaporeon: come on guys, we still have our shopping to do.
(The five of them walk off.)
Narrator: to be continued when I move my butt…
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 10:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms in on Jolteon. We see him sipping coffee.)
Jolteon: what a fine day. (A knock at the door is heard.)
Articuno: mail's here! (She flies off)
Jolteon: (sighs) civil servants. (Opens door and collects the mail.) Let's see…flame…bill…review…bill…Arctic Digest…sigh.
(Jolteon puts the rest of the mail down and rips open the packaging of the Arctic Digest, then settles down to read it.)
Jolteon: nothing like a good magazine over a cup of coffee.
(A short note falls out from the magazine)
Jolteon: (picks it up) hello, what's this? (Reading from note) dear sir, thank you for taking part in our last lucky draw. You have just won gift vouchers worth 50,000 pokebucks for the Goldenrod City Mall. Thank you and we hope that you will take part in our contests again.
(Jolteon sits down and finishes his coffee.)
Jolteon: maybe I should be telling the others about this. (Exits his igloo.)
(Half an hour later, inside Umbreon's igloo.)
Umbreon: #$@& computer…why on earth did you hang again? (Hears knock at door.) Come in!
Jolteon: (entering) hey, could I borrow your cell phone for a while?
Umbreon: whatever. You'll have to charge the batteries for me, they're flat. (Hands it to Jolteon.)
Jolteon: 'k. (Takes the batteries out and jiggles them in his paw for a bit.) there, all done.
Umbreon: (turning computer off) whatever.
Jolteon: (into cell phone) hey, Vaporeon, could you ask the others to meet me at the newly built Ice Cave Magnet train station? I won a bunch of shopping vouchers I can't spend all by myself. K. Seeya there.
(One and a half hour later. Our gang of five is on the Magnet train.)
Espeon: I still don't understand why you're so generous.
Jolteon: can you spend 50,000 pokebucks all by yourself in one day?
Espeon: um…good point.
Flareon: (chugging from gas can) I don't understand why you had to bring that Railgun, Umbreon.
Umbreon: I like it.
Vaporeon: WHATEVER!!! I LOOOVVVEEE SHOPPING!!! ^_^
PA system: we have arrived at Goldenrod station. We hope to see you again.
Flareon: (To Jolteon) by the way, how'd you get your hands on that rail pass?
Jolteon: got it off a fat slowpoke.
Flareon: oh.
Espeon: well, let's get off.
(Two hours later. Our heroes are at the Goldenrod City Mall.)
Umbreon: are you sure you wanna buy that Quake III Arena CD?
Jolteon: well you bought a Pokemon Silver cartridge, a GBA, a Gameshark, and a whole load of those green crates marked "Slugs". I don't see why I can't buy this.
Flareon: all I want is gas. (Chugs from gas can.)
Jolteon: yes, but I don't see why you had to buy a whole tanker of it.
Umbreon: drunkard.
Flareon: (slurring) shuddup. People were staring at your Railgun. (Drinks from Gas can.)
Umbreon: I like it.
Jolteon: (pointing) oh look here come the lovers.
Flareon: (to Vaporeon) so, what did you two buy?
Vaporeon: well, we…
(Suddenly, evil laughter is heard crackling over the radio installed into the Mall's PA system.)
PA system: I am Giovanni, leader of Team Gay-Ass Rocket. Fear me, people of Goldenrod. I will take over the whole world!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jolteon: oh look another stupid loser.
Vaporeon: what say we go sort out this loser?
All: HELL YEAH!
(Half an hour later. Our heroes are outside the Radio Tower.)
Jolteon: all right, so what do we do now?
(Suddenly, we see the bots from Quake III Arena. They are walking down the street.)
Umbreon: hey guys…
Sarge: oh no. Don't ask us to fight. We're on our offday.
Umbreon: no wonder I couldn't load my bots and my computer hung up on me.
Visor: sorry, kid. Any way we can make it up to you?
Jolteon: well, you could lend us your weapons. We're going off to fight Team Gay-Ass Rocket.
Grunt: (pointing at Umbreon) hey, he has my Railgun!
Umbreon: oops. Sorry. Want it back?
Grunt: nah. Thanks to you, I've discovered my hidden talent with the lightning gun! Ya can keep it!
Umbreon: thanks dude.
Sarge: well, let's share our tools of death with these dudes here! Just return it later on, 'k?
(The Bots produce their weapons and throw it in a large heap.)
Stripe: well, help yourself.
(Our heroes climb onto the pile of weapons and pick some out.)
Jolteon: this looks nice. (Picks up Machinegun and a Gauntlet.)
Flareon: I agree. (Picks up a Shotgun.)
Vaporeon: well, you lot could use some heavy firepower. (Hoists Rocket Launcher onto her shoulder.)
Espeon: oh look! A cool toy! (Lifts up Plasmagun.)
Umbreon: I think I'll stick with this. (Waves Railgun about.)
Visor: oh, yes. Just take this. You never know if you might need it. (Hands Jolteon a box.)
Jolteon: what's in the box?
Visor: it's a surprise.
Jolteon: oh.
(Suddenly, our heroes hear a voice out of nowhere.)
Voice: You Are Tied For The Lead.
Flareon: what's that?
Stripe: we just call it the Voice. It erm, congratulates us.
Flareon: 'k.
Sarge, Stripe, Visor and Grunt: good luck!
Jolteon, Flareon, Vaporeon, Espeon and Umbreon: GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!
(Five minutes later. The camera shows Umbreon perched on top of one of the buildings adjacent to the Radio Tower.)
Jolteon: (through walkie-talkie) *kkkhhhhtttt* Umbreon, do you see those two Rockets stationed outside the main entrance? Take them out. Over. *Kkkhhhhtttt*
Umbreon: *kkkhhhhtttt* roger that. Over. *Kkkhhhhtttt* (Takes aim with the Railgun, and fires. The first Rocket explodes in a spray of blood. He takes aim again, and fires before the Second Rocket has a chance to sound the alarm.)
Voice: Impressive.
Jolteon: *Kkkhhhhtttt* good job. We're going in. Cover us. Over. *Kkkhhhhtttt*
Umbreon: *Kkkhhhhtttt* Roger that. Over. *Kkkhhhhtttt*
(The camera zooms to our four heroes. They charge into the Radio Tower.)
Jolteon: take that you vibrator-chewers! (Fires Machinegun wildly. Three Rockets are gunned down.)
Voice: You Have Taken The Lead.
Flareon: woohoo! This is fun! (Blasts away with shotgun.)
Espeon: hey, Vaporeon watch it behind you! (Vaporeon turns round and sees two rockets trying to gang up on her.)
Vaporeon: oh, trying to pick on the girl? (Fires a rocket. It hits them right on, turning them into unidentifiable pieces of meat.)
Voice: Excellent.
Espeon: this is a nice toy. (Fires Plasmagun into a doorway. Many Rockets are melted into liquid.)
(A blue laser bursts in through a window and blows two Rockets to pieces.)
Flareon: seems like Umbreon's not missing out on the fun.
Flareon: Jolteon and Vaporeon, go up! Espeon and I will hold em off!
(Vaporeon and Jolteon race up the stairs to the third level.)
Jolteon: great. More Rockets.
Vaporeon: kill em all! (Fires Rocket Launcher wildly in all directions. Soon, the room is filled with dead or dying Rockets.)
Jolteon: now, what do we do about this door? (Gestures at the metal door.)
Vaporeon: stand back. (Launches rocket at door. The door is blown into many pieces.) You go on ahead. I'll cover your back.
(Jolteon goes up the stairs to the fourth level. It is empty, except for…)
Jolteon: Barney the Dinosaur!
Barney: (Happily) oh look! Another friend!
Jolteon: AAH!!!!! NO!!!!! SPAWN OF SATAN!!!! BEGONE!!!!!
Barney: come on, won't you give your friend a great big hug?
Jolteon: (equips the Gauntlet and slowly moves towards Barney with the Gauntlet a-buzzing) yes, why of course I'll give you a great big hug!
Barney: (strides over to Jolteon happily) goody! Come on; give your friend barney a great big hug!
(Jolteon gives Barney a great big whack. The Gauntlet cuts through Barney's cranium, neatly slicing it in half. Barney slumps to the floor.)
Voice: JUBILATION!!!!!
Jolteon: that's one less horror on this earth. (Equips Machinegun again)
(Jolteon races up the steps to the fifth floor, where he finds…)
Jolteon: Giovanni!
Giovanni: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Worm, do you think you can defeat me? Prepare to die! (Brings out two Miniguns and starts firing. Jolteon ducks for cover behind a filing cabinet.)
Giovanni: come out, ballless coward, and fight!
Jolteon: well, this is an emergency. (Opens box. He is instantly encased in a shimmering blue light.)
Voice: QUAD DAMAGE!
Jolteon: cool! (Comes out and fires a few rounds at Giovanni. They miss and hit the table, which explodes in a shower of splinters.)
Giovanni: NO FAIR! CHEATER! I WANT MY MOMMY! (Breaks down and cries)
Jolteon: NO MERCY! (Pumps Giovanni full of lead.)
(Vaporeon comes up)
Vaporeon: I heard the noise and thought you might need some help…(eyes Jolteon up and down) hey…nice color.
Jolteon: thanks. Let's go down and collect the others.
(Fifteen minutes later. They are returning the stuff to the Bots.)
Sarge: so, was that fun?
Flareon: yea.
Sarge: believe me…it's fun at first but when you do it day after day…
Umbreon: nice color Jolteon.
Jolteon: thanks. (The Quad Damage wears off.)
Umbreon: then again, maybe not.
Vaporeon: come on guys, we still have our shopping to do.
(The five of them walk off.)
Narrator: to be continued when I move my butt…
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^