Author's note: I don't own pokemon, nor do I own any characters not created
by me. Ok? Now let's get on with the story! ^_^ Pikachu Sandact6, I worship
you! Write more Were-pokism!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 13: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera moves into igloo. We see Jolteon reading the newspaper.)
Jolteon: aah.this is the life.
(There is a knock at the door.)
Jolteon: come in!
(The door bursts open, and Flareon comes in. He is chugging from a can of gas.)
Flareon: (Slurring) hiya bud.
Jolteon: have you been drinking too much again?
Flareon: (slurring) no! I'm not drunk!
Jolteon: (sighs) I think I will do my duty as a friend and go take you to the Dependents Anonymous at Maghony Town. Come on, let's go. (Drags Flareon off.)
Flareon: NO! I DON'T WANNA GO!
(Two hours later. Jolteon and Flareon are outside the meeting place.)
Jolteon: now, just go in there, and share your experiences. All the Pokemon in there are all dependent on various substances, just like you. Just go in and be good. Ok?
Flareon: (grumbles) 'k.
(Flareon goes in. We see a Chansey nurse, and seats arranged in a circle with various Pokemon sitting on them. One seat is empty and Flareon goes over and sits on it.)
Chansey nurse: ok, now that our last member for today is here, we can start this meeting of the Dependents Anonymous you may begin. (Points at a Scizor.)
Scizor: well, I'm addicted to Metal Coats. I just can't stop eating them! It's just like, wow.(trails on)
Flareon: (raises paw) do I have to listen to this?
Chansey nurse: um.yes.
Flareon: oh. (Raises paw again) do I have to care?
Scizor: and now, my trainer wants me to give up eating Metal Coats! She wants me to go Cold Turkey! (Bursts into tears)
Chansey nurse: there, there. Cold Turkey isn't the end, you know.
Flareon: (muttering) yeah, it's just the end for the Pokemon who goes Cold Turkey.
Chansey nurse: ok; now we can hear the next Pokemon's experiences!
Flareon: NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(One hour later. We see Jolteon in the waiting room when Flareon comes out.)
Flareon: I NEVER EVER EVER EVER want to go here again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs off)
Jolteon: what's gotten into him? Hope he can find his way back. (Shrugs and walks off)
(One hour later. Jolteon is back in his igloo watching television. There is a knock at the door.)
Jolteon: (sighs) come in!
(Vaporeon and Umbreon come in.)
Vaporeon: hi! We were visiting Espeon, and I convinced Umbreon that we should stop here for a while! ^_^
Jolteon: whatever. Wanna watch TV?
Vaporeon: oh yes! ^_^
(Vaporeon and Umbreon sit down on the couch.)
Jolteon: how's Espeon?
Umbreon: well, the nurse said he had multiple fractures, third-degree burns over most of his body, and massive internal bleeding due to repeated electric shocks. But with the help of Morning Sun, he'll be up and about in a few days.
Jolteon: maybe you shouldn't have hit him so hard.
Umbreon: I didn't do it! Lccorp2 made me do it!
Narrator: hey, I resent that!
Umbreon: bugger off loser. Get a life.
Narrator: MY CREATIONS DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (Zaps Umbreon badly) Now should I bugger off?
Umbreon: (charred) no.
Narrator: that's good. And I don't need another life; I've already got three.
(Vaporeon giggles)
Vaporeon: (sniffs the air) wait.do you smell something?
Jolteon: its.berry juice, isn't it?
Vaporeon: I think it's coming from outside.
(Jolteon goes over and opens the door. We see Mewtwo and Lugia, arm in arm. They are evidently Mega-drunk, and slur really bad when they talk.)
Mewtwo: hey.what's Jolty doing outside?
Lugia: yeah, what's you be doing outside Unknown Dungeon?
Jolteon: no. This is not Unknown Dungeon. You two are outside my igloo.
Lugia: I think we made a wrong turn.
Mewtwo: I TOLD you, fly RIGHT from Blackthorn City, but would you listen? No..
Jolteon: you two better come inside. (Ushers them in.)
Umbreon: (looking up) those two are here?
Jolteon: Umbreon, give me your cell phone! This is an emergency!
(Umbreon hands Jolteon his cell phone. Jolteon takes it and dials Mew's number.)
Jolteon: (into cell phone) hello? Mew? I've got Mewtwo and Lugia here.yes, they ARE drunk, could you come and collect them? 'k. Thanks.
(There is a knock at the door. Mew enters.)
Vaporeon: wow, that was fast.
Mew: I just got that Alakazam to teleport me here.
Jolteon: well they're here. Do collect them.
Mewtwo: (woozily) hiya Mewwie.
Mew: YOU SAID YOU'D BE BACK BY 3! INSTEAD YOU WENT DRINKING WITH LUGIA! (Slaps Mewtwo)
Umbreon: that's gotta hurt.
Mew: (to Jolteon) well, thanks for holding them. Now how do we get back?
Jolteon: well, the Pidgeot Airdrop at the Pokemart won't be here for another three days.and Lugia is too drunk to fly.guess I could ask Articuno to give you three a lift.
(Jolteon goes outside)
Jolteon: (Yelling) Articuno! Where are you!
(A seel goes past.)
Seel: didn't you know? It's her offday today. (Leaves)
Jolteon: @!$@#$^$#%#$ civil servants.they're never around when you need them.(goes back inside)
Mew: well?
Jolteon: guess we could ask officer Jenny to help. (Picks up phone. After a short conversation, he puts it down.) Well, that's settled. She'll be here in four hours on her snowmobile.
Mew: guess I can wait.
Jolteon: if you don't mind, I'll be outside for a while. (Goes outside)
Vaporeon: I think I'll be joining him. Want anything?
Mew: I would like something to drink.
Vaporeon: 'k. (Grabs something from Jolteon's berry juice cabinet at random and hands it to Mew, then dashes out of the door.)
(The scene changes, and it is outside Jolteon's igloo. We see Jolteon sitting down on a mound of snow.)
(Jolteon sighs. Vaporeon comes and sits beside him.)
Vaporeon: rough day huh?
Jolteon: I suppose so. Did Mew want anything?
Vaporeon: she did say she wanted something to drink.
Jolteon: and what did you give her?
Vaporeon: something from your berry juice cabinet.
Jolteon: (suddenly awake) what was the bottle like?
Vaporeon: It was sort of funny shaped.
Jolteon: NOOOOOOO!!!!! (Dashes back into igloo)
(The camera moves to follow Jolteon. We see Mew draining the last drops from the bottle.)
Mew: (slurring) hiya cutie.
Jolteon: NOOOOOO!!!!! VAPOREON! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!?!?!?!?
Vaporeon: what have I done?
Jolteon: (snatching bottle from Mew and pointing to label) look at this!
Vaporeon: (Reading from label) triple-distilled authentic Shuckle-fermented berry juice with extra ethanol added. 80% ethanol. Serve only in doses not more than 50 ml.
Jolteon: I'm not gonna be responsible for anything that goes on in here! (Runs out the door)
Vaporeon: I think I need to use the bathroom.(edges out slowly, leaving Umbreon, Mew, Mewtwo and Lugia in the room.)
(Nothing happens for a short while. Then.)
Mew: I love you, 'two. (Kisses him)
Mewtwo: I love you too. (Kisses her back)
(Umbreon and Lugia stare at them.)
Mewtwo: hey, what're you two doing? If you stare at my girlfriend one more time I will rip out your eyes and shove them up your ass, which I will also rip out!
Mew: oh come on.don't get violent. (Hugs Mewtwo)
Mewtwo: anything for my little Girlfriend. (Kisses her.) Do you want me?
Mew OH YES! I WANT YOU BAD!!!!! (Grabs Mewtwo and they make out on Jolteon's couch)
(Lugia begins to drool.)
Narrator: after what seemed to be an eternity to Jolteon.
(Scene changes to outside Jolteon's igloo. Officer Jenny arrives on her snowmobile.)
Jolteon: finally! You're here!
Officer Jenny: leave it to me. (Enters Jolteon's igloo and firmly strides over to Mew, Mewtwo and Lugia.) I'm putting you under arrest for being Drunk and Incapable and for Disorderly Behavior. Come along quietly. (Leads them away.)
Jolteon: umm.what will happen to them?
Officer Jenny: we'll hold them until they sober up. Then they can leave.
Jolteon: umm.ok.
(Officer Jenny speeds off with the three drunkards in the back seat of her snowmobile.)
Vaporeon: (coming out) is it over?
Jolteon: I think so. It's getting late. You and Umbreon should be getting home.
Vaporeon: yeah. Come on, Umbreon.
(They leave. Jolteon goes back in and shuts the door.)
Narrator: and so ends another stupid, pointless day in our heroes' lives!
How'd you like this silly story? Do put comments and ideas in your reviews! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 13: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera moves into igloo. We see Jolteon reading the newspaper.)
Jolteon: aah.this is the life.
(There is a knock at the door.)
Jolteon: come in!
(The door bursts open, and Flareon comes in. He is chugging from a can of gas.)
Flareon: (Slurring) hiya bud.
Jolteon: have you been drinking too much again?
Flareon: (slurring) no! I'm not drunk!
Jolteon: (sighs) I think I will do my duty as a friend and go take you to the Dependents Anonymous at Maghony Town. Come on, let's go. (Drags Flareon off.)
Flareon: NO! I DON'T WANNA GO!
(Two hours later. Jolteon and Flareon are outside the meeting place.)
Jolteon: now, just go in there, and share your experiences. All the Pokemon in there are all dependent on various substances, just like you. Just go in and be good. Ok?
Flareon: (grumbles) 'k.
(Flareon goes in. We see a Chansey nurse, and seats arranged in a circle with various Pokemon sitting on them. One seat is empty and Flareon goes over and sits on it.)
Chansey nurse: ok, now that our last member for today is here, we can start this meeting of the Dependents Anonymous you may begin. (Points at a Scizor.)
Scizor: well, I'm addicted to Metal Coats. I just can't stop eating them! It's just like, wow.(trails on)
Flareon: (raises paw) do I have to listen to this?
Chansey nurse: um.yes.
Flareon: oh. (Raises paw again) do I have to care?
Scizor: and now, my trainer wants me to give up eating Metal Coats! She wants me to go Cold Turkey! (Bursts into tears)
Chansey nurse: there, there. Cold Turkey isn't the end, you know.
Flareon: (muttering) yeah, it's just the end for the Pokemon who goes Cold Turkey.
Chansey nurse: ok; now we can hear the next Pokemon's experiences!
Flareon: NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(One hour later. We see Jolteon in the waiting room when Flareon comes out.)
Flareon: I NEVER EVER EVER EVER want to go here again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs off)
Jolteon: what's gotten into him? Hope he can find his way back. (Shrugs and walks off)
(One hour later. Jolteon is back in his igloo watching television. There is a knock at the door.)
Jolteon: (sighs) come in!
(Vaporeon and Umbreon come in.)
Vaporeon: hi! We were visiting Espeon, and I convinced Umbreon that we should stop here for a while! ^_^
Jolteon: whatever. Wanna watch TV?
Vaporeon: oh yes! ^_^
(Vaporeon and Umbreon sit down on the couch.)
Jolteon: how's Espeon?
Umbreon: well, the nurse said he had multiple fractures, third-degree burns over most of his body, and massive internal bleeding due to repeated electric shocks. But with the help of Morning Sun, he'll be up and about in a few days.
Jolteon: maybe you shouldn't have hit him so hard.
Umbreon: I didn't do it! Lccorp2 made me do it!
Narrator: hey, I resent that!
Umbreon: bugger off loser. Get a life.
Narrator: MY CREATIONS DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (Zaps Umbreon badly) Now should I bugger off?
Umbreon: (charred) no.
Narrator: that's good. And I don't need another life; I've already got three.
(Vaporeon giggles)
Vaporeon: (sniffs the air) wait.do you smell something?
Jolteon: its.berry juice, isn't it?
Vaporeon: I think it's coming from outside.
(Jolteon goes over and opens the door. We see Mewtwo and Lugia, arm in arm. They are evidently Mega-drunk, and slur really bad when they talk.)
Mewtwo: hey.what's Jolty doing outside?
Lugia: yeah, what's you be doing outside Unknown Dungeon?
Jolteon: no. This is not Unknown Dungeon. You two are outside my igloo.
Lugia: I think we made a wrong turn.
Mewtwo: I TOLD you, fly RIGHT from Blackthorn City, but would you listen? No..
Jolteon: you two better come inside. (Ushers them in.)
Umbreon: (looking up) those two are here?
Jolteon: Umbreon, give me your cell phone! This is an emergency!
(Umbreon hands Jolteon his cell phone. Jolteon takes it and dials Mew's number.)
Jolteon: (into cell phone) hello? Mew? I've got Mewtwo and Lugia here.yes, they ARE drunk, could you come and collect them? 'k. Thanks.
(There is a knock at the door. Mew enters.)
Vaporeon: wow, that was fast.
Mew: I just got that Alakazam to teleport me here.
Jolteon: well they're here. Do collect them.
Mewtwo: (woozily) hiya Mewwie.
Mew: YOU SAID YOU'D BE BACK BY 3! INSTEAD YOU WENT DRINKING WITH LUGIA! (Slaps Mewtwo)
Umbreon: that's gotta hurt.
Mew: (to Jolteon) well, thanks for holding them. Now how do we get back?
Jolteon: well, the Pidgeot Airdrop at the Pokemart won't be here for another three days.and Lugia is too drunk to fly.guess I could ask Articuno to give you three a lift.
(Jolteon goes outside)
Jolteon: (Yelling) Articuno! Where are you!
(A seel goes past.)
Seel: didn't you know? It's her offday today. (Leaves)
Jolteon: @!$@#$^$#%#$ civil servants.they're never around when you need them.(goes back inside)
Mew: well?
Jolteon: guess we could ask officer Jenny to help. (Picks up phone. After a short conversation, he puts it down.) Well, that's settled. She'll be here in four hours on her snowmobile.
Mew: guess I can wait.
Jolteon: if you don't mind, I'll be outside for a while. (Goes outside)
Vaporeon: I think I'll be joining him. Want anything?
Mew: I would like something to drink.
Vaporeon: 'k. (Grabs something from Jolteon's berry juice cabinet at random and hands it to Mew, then dashes out of the door.)
(The scene changes, and it is outside Jolteon's igloo. We see Jolteon sitting down on a mound of snow.)
(Jolteon sighs. Vaporeon comes and sits beside him.)
Vaporeon: rough day huh?
Jolteon: I suppose so. Did Mew want anything?
Vaporeon: she did say she wanted something to drink.
Jolteon: and what did you give her?
Vaporeon: something from your berry juice cabinet.
Jolteon: (suddenly awake) what was the bottle like?
Vaporeon: It was sort of funny shaped.
Jolteon: NOOOOOOO!!!!! (Dashes back into igloo)
(The camera moves to follow Jolteon. We see Mew draining the last drops from the bottle.)
Mew: (slurring) hiya cutie.
Jolteon: NOOOOOO!!!!! VAPOREON! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!?!?!?!?
Vaporeon: what have I done?
Jolteon: (snatching bottle from Mew and pointing to label) look at this!
Vaporeon: (Reading from label) triple-distilled authentic Shuckle-fermented berry juice with extra ethanol added. 80% ethanol. Serve only in doses not more than 50 ml.
Jolteon: I'm not gonna be responsible for anything that goes on in here! (Runs out the door)
Vaporeon: I think I need to use the bathroom.(edges out slowly, leaving Umbreon, Mew, Mewtwo and Lugia in the room.)
(Nothing happens for a short while. Then.)
Mew: I love you, 'two. (Kisses him)
Mewtwo: I love you too. (Kisses her back)
(Umbreon and Lugia stare at them.)
Mewtwo: hey, what're you two doing? If you stare at my girlfriend one more time I will rip out your eyes and shove them up your ass, which I will also rip out!
Mew: oh come on.don't get violent. (Hugs Mewtwo)
Mewtwo: anything for my little Girlfriend. (Kisses her.) Do you want me?
Mew OH YES! I WANT YOU BAD!!!!! (Grabs Mewtwo and they make out on Jolteon's couch)
(Lugia begins to drool.)
Narrator: after what seemed to be an eternity to Jolteon.
(Scene changes to outside Jolteon's igloo. Officer Jenny arrives on her snowmobile.)
Jolteon: finally! You're here!
Officer Jenny: leave it to me. (Enters Jolteon's igloo and firmly strides over to Mew, Mewtwo and Lugia.) I'm putting you under arrest for being Drunk and Incapable and for Disorderly Behavior. Come along quietly. (Leads them away.)
Jolteon: umm.what will happen to them?
Officer Jenny: we'll hold them until they sober up. Then they can leave.
Jolteon: umm.ok.
(Officer Jenny speeds off with the three drunkards in the back seat of her snowmobile.)
Vaporeon: (coming out) is it over?
Jolteon: I think so. It's getting late. You and Umbreon should be getting home.
Vaporeon: yeah. Come on, Umbreon.
(They leave. Jolteon goes back in and shuts the door.)
Narrator: and so ends another stupid, pointless day in our heroes' lives!
How'd you like this silly story? Do put comments and ideas in your reviews! ^_^