Author's note: I don't own pokemon.so there! Nor do I own any other
characters not created by me.WOOHOO! The Crimson Lugia wrote a fic inspired
by this fic! Thanks a lot! You have earned a guest role this episode! Now
let's get on with my story! ^_^ Warning: this episode may not be suitable
for non-sadists. You have been warned.
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 14: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the mountains..
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms in on Espeon. He is in his igloo humming a merry tune to himself. Unfortunately, about a third of his body is still bandaged (see episode 11). Suddenly, Jolteon runs onto the set.)
Jolteon: HEY! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN CHARACTER! I SHOULD BE THERE!
Narrator: if you stayed a bit longer, you'd be thankful you weren't him.
Jolteon: I gotta see this. (Sits down next to me)
Espeon: (to self) what a merry day. Perhaps I should go see Vaporeon.I dreamed about her again last night! ^_^ (Limps over to the door, opens it, and goes out.)
Jolteon: (angrily)nothing bad happened to him!
Narrator: hush. Meanwhile.
(Camera zooms in on Umbreon's igloo. We see him fiddling with his Gameshark.)
Umbreon: #%^@ thing.how does it work? (Finds the ON switch and flips it) there!
(Suddenly, a huge, muscled humanoid with a shark's head pops out of the Gameshark.)
Umbreon: cool!
Humanoid: I am the Genie of the Gameshark. Your wish is my command, master, provided you know the codes.
Umbreon: that's no problem. (Goes to GameFAQs and checks up all the codes.)
Genie: are you ready for your wish, master?
Umbreon: umm.yes. I would like 99 rare candies, code 00FF1264 (A/N: this is not a real Gameshark code, I made it up myself!)
Genie: It is done! (Waves its hands about and a pile of rare candies appear.)
Umbreon: and I would like the surrounding area to be full of traps. I don't feel safe today. Code 00FEX193.
Genie: it is done! (Waves hands about) many traps have been planted in a 500-meter radius around thy dwelling!
Umbreon: 'k. you can get back now.
Genie: I cannot do that myself! You must flick the switch to the OFF position!
Umbreon: oh yes. (Does so)
Genie: thank you master! (Vanishes in a cloud of sparkly dust.)
Umbreon: (chewing on a rare candy) that was nice. (Goes back to playing Quake III Arena.)
Narrator: unfortunately for our poor Espeon, his path takes him past Umbreon's igloo! Ha ha ha.
Jolteon: I see.
(Camera zooms back onto Espeon. He is hobbling forward over the ice floes. Umbreon's igloo can be seen in the distance.)
Espeon: (to self) why do I constantly have the feeling that something horrible is going to happen, I think.
(Suddenly, he steps on an Ursaring trap. It snaps shut on his hind leg, drawing a notable amount of blood.)
Espeon: OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Espeon concentrates and presses the air molecules around his leg together, forming a makeshift bandage. He then removes his foot from the trap and limps on, ignoring the pain.)
Jolteon: (to me) that's gotta hurt.
Narrator: yea, but he gets three times as much pay as you do.
(The camera follows Espeon as he goes to cross a frozen river by the bridge.)
Espeon: that darned brain of mine keeps on telling me that something is wrong.but what?
(Espeon starts crossing the bridge carefully, when he steps on a plank that breaks and sends him through the ice on the frozen river. When he resurfaces, we see him neatly frozen in an ice block.)
Espeon: (thinking to himself) no! I don't wanna become some preserved specimen! Come on, Espeon, you're a Psychic-type! Do something!
(Espeon concentrates and manages to teleport himself to the other bank. He stands there for a while, watching the ice cube with a neat Espeon-shaped hollow float downstream. He then hobbles onwards.)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Santa's workshop. Santa is shown in the center, while the elves around him hurry about their business.)
Santa: (reading from a Christmas list) dear Santa, this year I want an Espeon soft toy.AAAUUGGGHHH!!! This is the 14,923,812th order we've had for an Espeon Soft toy! How on earth are we gonna get them ready for Christmas?!
(Suddenly, an elf runs up to Santa.)
Elf: sir, I thought you might want a look at what I found. (Holds up ice cube with the Espeon-shaped hollow inside.)
Santa: (staring at it) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT? GET IT INTO THE FREEZER NOW!
Elf: (stammering) y.yes, sir! (Runs off)
Santa: (to the other elves) drill a hole in that ice block and cut it in two! The rest of you, hurry and get the molten soft toy paste! We just got hope now! Come on, double timing! MOVE MOVE MOVE!
Narrator: and so Espeon unknowingly helped many children get their Espeon soft toys for Christmas. If you got an Espeon soft toy from Santa, don't forget to thank Espeon! ^_^
Jolteon: I got one too from my Aunt Edna.
Narrator: whatever. Meanwhile.
(The camera shifts and we see Espeon limping on. He is walking past the foot of a hill.)
Espeon: I wonder how many things can happen now.
(The camera shifts to the top of the hill. A snowflake happens to fall just so that it bounces off and rolls down the hill, as it rolls, it gets bigger and bigger until-)
Espeon: (twitching his ears) what's that rumbling I he.(Sees the gigantic snowball and freaks out) YYYYAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! (Desperately tries to run away in vain. He is picked up by the snowball and carried along with is until it hits a boulder. The snowball explodes and Espeon is slammed against the boulder.)
Espeon: (groaning weakly) when.will.pain.stop.
(Suddenly, The Crimson Lugia flies over.)
Espeon: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!
The Crimson Lugia: I'm not gonna hurt you. Where are you going?
Espeon: to Vaporeon's.
The Crimson Lugia: come up, I'll give you a lift.
(Espeon painfully climbs up onto The Crimson Lugia's back, and they soar high into the sky. Unfortunately, Espeon is knocked off by a passing gust of wind and falls down to the ground.)
Espeon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....
The Crimson Lugia: hey, where'd he go?
(Espeon lands on a landmine, which blows him far, far away.)
Espeon: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: meanwhile.
(Camera zooms back to Umbreon's igloo.)
Umbreon: ho hum.fragging losers is so fun.
Espeon: (from far away) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....
Umbreon: oh dear. (Turns the Gameshark on. The Genie pops out again.)
Genie: what do you wish of me, master?
Umbreon: could you undo the last code? The one about the traps?
Genie: it is done! (Waves hands about)
(Umbreon turns the Gameshark off. The Genie vanishes.)
(The camera zooms back to Espeon. The force of the explosion propels him through to the air, and he lands right on Vaporeon's doorstep. With what little strength he has left, he raps on the door, then falls face first into the snow.)
Vaporeon: (opening door) oh, you poor thing, coming all the way to see me! ^_^ Let's get you in with a blanket and a hot cup of tea, then I can scratch behind your ears.
(Espeon smiles weakly)
Vaporeon: and then perhaps we can do some other things! Come on, let's be getting you in! (Drags Espeon in and closes the door)
Narrator: and so ends another stupid, pointless episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? Please do review!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 14: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the mountains..
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms in on Espeon. He is in his igloo humming a merry tune to himself. Unfortunately, about a third of his body is still bandaged (see episode 11). Suddenly, Jolteon runs onto the set.)
Jolteon: HEY! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN CHARACTER! I SHOULD BE THERE!
Narrator: if you stayed a bit longer, you'd be thankful you weren't him.
Jolteon: I gotta see this. (Sits down next to me)
Espeon: (to self) what a merry day. Perhaps I should go see Vaporeon.I dreamed about her again last night! ^_^ (Limps over to the door, opens it, and goes out.)
Jolteon: (angrily)nothing bad happened to him!
Narrator: hush. Meanwhile.
(Camera zooms in on Umbreon's igloo. We see him fiddling with his Gameshark.)
Umbreon: #%^@ thing.how does it work? (Finds the ON switch and flips it) there!
(Suddenly, a huge, muscled humanoid with a shark's head pops out of the Gameshark.)
Umbreon: cool!
Humanoid: I am the Genie of the Gameshark. Your wish is my command, master, provided you know the codes.
Umbreon: that's no problem. (Goes to GameFAQs and checks up all the codes.)
Genie: are you ready for your wish, master?
Umbreon: umm.yes. I would like 99 rare candies, code 00FF1264 (A/N: this is not a real Gameshark code, I made it up myself!)
Genie: It is done! (Waves its hands about and a pile of rare candies appear.)
Umbreon: and I would like the surrounding area to be full of traps. I don't feel safe today. Code 00FEX193.
Genie: it is done! (Waves hands about) many traps have been planted in a 500-meter radius around thy dwelling!
Umbreon: 'k. you can get back now.
Genie: I cannot do that myself! You must flick the switch to the OFF position!
Umbreon: oh yes. (Does so)
Genie: thank you master! (Vanishes in a cloud of sparkly dust.)
Umbreon: (chewing on a rare candy) that was nice. (Goes back to playing Quake III Arena.)
Narrator: unfortunately for our poor Espeon, his path takes him past Umbreon's igloo! Ha ha ha.
Jolteon: I see.
(Camera zooms back onto Espeon. He is hobbling forward over the ice floes. Umbreon's igloo can be seen in the distance.)
Espeon: (to self) why do I constantly have the feeling that something horrible is going to happen, I think.
(Suddenly, he steps on an Ursaring trap. It snaps shut on his hind leg, drawing a notable amount of blood.)
Espeon: OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Espeon concentrates and presses the air molecules around his leg together, forming a makeshift bandage. He then removes his foot from the trap and limps on, ignoring the pain.)
Jolteon: (to me) that's gotta hurt.
Narrator: yea, but he gets three times as much pay as you do.
(The camera follows Espeon as he goes to cross a frozen river by the bridge.)
Espeon: that darned brain of mine keeps on telling me that something is wrong.but what?
(Espeon starts crossing the bridge carefully, when he steps on a plank that breaks and sends him through the ice on the frozen river. When he resurfaces, we see him neatly frozen in an ice block.)
Espeon: (thinking to himself) no! I don't wanna become some preserved specimen! Come on, Espeon, you're a Psychic-type! Do something!
(Espeon concentrates and manages to teleport himself to the other bank. He stands there for a while, watching the ice cube with a neat Espeon-shaped hollow float downstream. He then hobbles onwards.)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Santa's workshop. Santa is shown in the center, while the elves around him hurry about their business.)
Santa: (reading from a Christmas list) dear Santa, this year I want an Espeon soft toy.AAAUUGGGHHH!!! This is the 14,923,812th order we've had for an Espeon Soft toy! How on earth are we gonna get them ready for Christmas?!
(Suddenly, an elf runs up to Santa.)
Elf: sir, I thought you might want a look at what I found. (Holds up ice cube with the Espeon-shaped hollow inside.)
Santa: (staring at it) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT? GET IT INTO THE FREEZER NOW!
Elf: (stammering) y.yes, sir! (Runs off)
Santa: (to the other elves) drill a hole in that ice block and cut it in two! The rest of you, hurry and get the molten soft toy paste! We just got hope now! Come on, double timing! MOVE MOVE MOVE!
Narrator: and so Espeon unknowingly helped many children get their Espeon soft toys for Christmas. If you got an Espeon soft toy from Santa, don't forget to thank Espeon! ^_^
Jolteon: I got one too from my Aunt Edna.
Narrator: whatever. Meanwhile.
(The camera shifts and we see Espeon limping on. He is walking past the foot of a hill.)
Espeon: I wonder how many things can happen now.
(The camera shifts to the top of the hill. A snowflake happens to fall just so that it bounces off and rolls down the hill, as it rolls, it gets bigger and bigger until-)
Espeon: (twitching his ears) what's that rumbling I he.(Sees the gigantic snowball and freaks out) YYYYAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! (Desperately tries to run away in vain. He is picked up by the snowball and carried along with is until it hits a boulder. The snowball explodes and Espeon is slammed against the boulder.)
Espeon: (groaning weakly) when.will.pain.stop.
(Suddenly, The Crimson Lugia flies over.)
Espeon: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!
The Crimson Lugia: I'm not gonna hurt you. Where are you going?
Espeon: to Vaporeon's.
The Crimson Lugia: come up, I'll give you a lift.
(Espeon painfully climbs up onto The Crimson Lugia's back, and they soar high into the sky. Unfortunately, Espeon is knocked off by a passing gust of wind and falls down to the ground.)
Espeon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....
The Crimson Lugia: hey, where'd he go?
(Espeon lands on a landmine, which blows him far, far away.)
Espeon: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: meanwhile.
(Camera zooms back to Umbreon's igloo.)
Umbreon: ho hum.fragging losers is so fun.
Espeon: (from far away) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....
Umbreon: oh dear. (Turns the Gameshark on. The Genie pops out again.)
Genie: what do you wish of me, master?
Umbreon: could you undo the last code? The one about the traps?
Genie: it is done! (Waves hands about)
(Umbreon turns the Gameshark off. The Genie vanishes.)
(The camera zooms back to Espeon. The force of the explosion propels him through to the air, and he lands right on Vaporeon's doorstep. With what little strength he has left, he raps on the door, then falls face first into the snow.)
Vaporeon: (opening door) oh, you poor thing, coming all the way to see me! ^_^ Let's get you in with a blanket and a hot cup of tea, then I can scratch behind your ears.
(Espeon smiles weakly)
Vaporeon: and then perhaps we can do some other things! Come on, let's be getting you in! (Drags Espeon in and closes the door)
Narrator: and so ends another stupid, pointless episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? Please do review!