Author's note: I don't own pokemon, nor do I own any characters not created
by me. Ok? Now let's get on with the story! Heh.I needed a balloon! If you
are reading this from my com.go away! _
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 16: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. It is empty.)
Narrator: wha.where's that guy? I pay him a hundred thousand pokebucks an episode!!! (Checks script) oh. Yeah. We shouldn't be here.
(The scene changes. We see Jolteon and Umbreon in Ecruteak with a tour guide and a group of pokemon.)
Tour Guide: and so.blah blah blah.
Umbreon: (To Jolteon) I still don't understand why I let you convince me to come here.
Jolteon: well, you're the only person that I could think of.Vaporeon and Espeon are busy with each other and Flareon's been refusing to talk to me ever since I brought him to the Dependants Anonymous.
Umbreon: yeah.but still.
Tour Guide: (gestures with hand) and here is the famous Burnt Tower, which burnt down 50 years ago in a mysterious fire.
Jolteon: (rolls eyes) I think that tour guide is starting to get on my nerves.
Tour guide: and we can go in and have a look around!
Umbreon: didn't Lugia say this was his old home?
(Jolteon shrugs)
(The group walks into the Burnt Tower. Jolteon and Umbreon wander off away from the tour group.)
Jolteon: (brushing away some cobwebs) Lugia sure did have a nice home.
(Suddenly, the floorboards under Jolteon's feet give way and he falls into the cellar.)
Umbreon: (peering into hole) are you all right in there?
Jolteon: ouch.let me change what I just said.
(Umbreon hops down into the hole)
Umbreon: it's dark in here. Got a light?
Jolteon: like I didn't notice.
(Jolteon uses Flash, which illuminates the room. Three statues of dogs of some sort are revealed.)
Umbreon: at least Lugia did have some sort of decoration in his cellar.
Jolteon: well, he won't be needing it any more. (Kicks the "statues") hey, they're soft!
(The "statues" groan)
Jolteon and Umbreon: AAAAAAAAA!!!!!! THEY'RE ALIVE! (They run out of the cellar.)
Narrator: thirty minutes later.
(The camera is still in the cellar of the burnt tower. One of the "statues" groans and picks itself up, then goes over and shakes one of the other "Statues")
Raikou: hey, Sui.wake up!
(The other "statue" groans)
Suicune: tell me.how long we been out?
Raikou: (checks his watch) fifty years.
(The third "statue" groans and rolls over.)
Suicune: I TOLD you, we shouldn't have drunk so much berry juice, but would you listen? No.
Raikou: shut up.
Entei: I feel sick. (Walks off to a corner and pukes in it.)
Suicune: yuck. _
Raikou: well, let's go out and see what has happened in the last 50 years.
Narrator: meanwhile.
(We see Cartman and Kenny outside the Burnt Tower.)
Kenny: wow, I never knew such towers existed.
Cartman: well.
(The Burnt tower collapses with a crash onto Kenny.)
Cartman: OH MY GOD! THE BASTARDS! THEY KILLED KENNY!
(Cartman goes over and drags Kenny's body out of the wreckage.)
Cartman: OH MY GOD! THE BASTARDS! THEY REALLY KILLED KENNY!
Narrator: and so now you know how Kenny REALLY died.
(The camera zooms back to the three dogs on the streets of Ecruteak)
Suicune: hey, look at that banner.
(Camera zooms in on banner. It reads "Professor Elm's great speech today in front of Tin Tower. Be there or be square!")
Raikou: I don't think I'm square.
Entei: maybe we should go take a look.
(They walk off)
(The scene changes. We see Professor Elm standing on a podium addressing a crowd.)
Professor Elm: and so in conclusion, I say that the Legendary Pokemon do not exist. Any questions?
Sage#1: (from crowd) yes! I think you just spoke a ton of crap!
(Audience boos and throws rotten fruit and eggs at Professor Elm.)
Professor Elm: but I PROVED it!
(Suddenly, one of the roof tiles falls off and hits Professor Elm. His skull is crushed and he dies on the spot.)
Sage#1: look! It is a sign from the gods! Repent! Repent!
(The three dogs arrive on the scene.)
Raikou: hey, where's this Professor Elm?
Entei: maybe we should leave.
Suicune: good idea.
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see Lugia walking on the streets of Ecruteak.)
Lugia: (To reader of Fan-Fic) for some reason, I feel compelled to visit Ho- oh today. (Suddenly notices the Three Dogs leaving the Tin tower)
Lugia: (rushing up to Entei and strangling him) VANDALS! THIEVES! GIMME BACK MY HOME! (A/N: see Episode 4 if you're confused!)
(Officer Jenny arrives)
Officer Jenny: hey, chill out! Why are you strangling him?
Lugia: those three burnt down my house! (Bursts into tears)
Officer Jenny: well, you could always get them in court.
Lugia: YES! THAT'S A GOOD IDEA! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!
Narrator: meanwhile.
(Camera zooms back to Jolteon and Umbreon)
Jolteon: hey, where's everyone going?
Umbreon: beats me.
Jolteon: well, let's follow the crowd.
(They follow the crowd until they reach the courthouse.)
Umbreon: that might give us a hint. (Points to Banner marked "today's public trial: Lugia VS the Three Dogs")
Jolteon: hmm.
(They walk in)
Umbreon: now where do we go?
Narrator: hey, over here! I saved seats for you two.
(Jolteon and Umbreon walk over and plop down in the seats.)
Narrator: now watch the fun.
Umbreon: odd, no lawyers.
Narrator: Lawyers don't exist in this game, duh. They're too evil. ^_-
Umbreon: 'k.
Uniformed Dude: all rise for His Honor Justice Sandact6!
(Everyone in courtroom rises)
(Sandact6 walks over to his spot)
Sandact6: let's just get this over with. I've received much E-mail bugging me to continue on were-pokism.
Jolteon: (whispering) haven't we seen this guy before?
Uniformed Dude: take your seats.
(Everyone in courtroom takes their seats)
Sandact6: all right, now, Lugia, on what charges are you prosecuting them?
Lugia: Your Honor, I'm prosecuting them on charges of Willful Trespass on Private Property, Being Drunk And Disorderly In A Public Place, Vandalism, and Arson!
Sandact6: hmm.and do you have any evidence to support your case?
Lugia: well, Your Honor, we can always go to my old house and see "Entei wuz here" scorched on one of the walls, dated on the night of the fire!
Sandact6: yes.and do you have any witnesses?
Lugia: you could ask anyone who is at least 60 years old, Your Honor.
Sandact6: ok. Now for the defense.
Entei: well, we did it, but we were drunk.
Raikou: -_-;;;
Sandact6: ok. I call a recess to allow the jury to reach a verdict.
(The jury files out of the courtroom)
(One minute later. The jury files back in.)
Sandact6: and have you reached a verdict?
Jury: yes, Your Honor.
Sandact6: and that would be?
Jury: we find the defendants guilty on all counts.
Sandact6: and now for the sentence.(flicks through a big book) ah. I sentence the three of you to three month's imprisonment.
Suicune: whew.
Sandact6: as Pokemon of Eusine!
(All gasp in horror)
Suicune: NOOO!!! PLEEAASSEE!! 20 YEARS IN THE SLAMMER! 50 YEARS! JUST DON'T DO IT!!!!!
Sandact6: okay.6 months! (Grins evilly)
(All gasp in horror again)
The Three Dogs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The Uniformed Dude opens a door and Eusine appears)
Eusine: oh goody goody! (Rubs hands together)
(Eusine takes and net and throws it over The Three Dogs, and drags them off kicking and screaming)
Sandaxct6: court is dismissed. (Bangs Gavel)
Jolteon: that was weird.
(Umbreon shrugs)
Narrator: and so ends another episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? Hope you like!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 16: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. It is empty.)
Narrator: wha.where's that guy? I pay him a hundred thousand pokebucks an episode!!! (Checks script) oh. Yeah. We shouldn't be here.
(The scene changes. We see Jolteon and Umbreon in Ecruteak with a tour guide and a group of pokemon.)
Tour Guide: and so.blah blah blah.
Umbreon: (To Jolteon) I still don't understand why I let you convince me to come here.
Jolteon: well, you're the only person that I could think of.Vaporeon and Espeon are busy with each other and Flareon's been refusing to talk to me ever since I brought him to the Dependants Anonymous.
Umbreon: yeah.but still.
Tour Guide: (gestures with hand) and here is the famous Burnt Tower, which burnt down 50 years ago in a mysterious fire.
Jolteon: (rolls eyes) I think that tour guide is starting to get on my nerves.
Tour guide: and we can go in and have a look around!
Umbreon: didn't Lugia say this was his old home?
(Jolteon shrugs)
(The group walks into the Burnt Tower. Jolteon and Umbreon wander off away from the tour group.)
Jolteon: (brushing away some cobwebs) Lugia sure did have a nice home.
(Suddenly, the floorboards under Jolteon's feet give way and he falls into the cellar.)
Umbreon: (peering into hole) are you all right in there?
Jolteon: ouch.let me change what I just said.
(Umbreon hops down into the hole)
Umbreon: it's dark in here. Got a light?
Jolteon: like I didn't notice.
(Jolteon uses Flash, which illuminates the room. Three statues of dogs of some sort are revealed.)
Umbreon: at least Lugia did have some sort of decoration in his cellar.
Jolteon: well, he won't be needing it any more. (Kicks the "statues") hey, they're soft!
(The "statues" groan)
Jolteon and Umbreon: AAAAAAAAA!!!!!! THEY'RE ALIVE! (They run out of the cellar.)
Narrator: thirty minutes later.
(The camera is still in the cellar of the burnt tower. One of the "statues" groans and picks itself up, then goes over and shakes one of the other "Statues")
Raikou: hey, Sui.wake up!
(The other "statue" groans)
Suicune: tell me.how long we been out?
Raikou: (checks his watch) fifty years.
(The third "statue" groans and rolls over.)
Suicune: I TOLD you, we shouldn't have drunk so much berry juice, but would you listen? No.
Raikou: shut up.
Entei: I feel sick. (Walks off to a corner and pukes in it.)
Suicune: yuck. _
Raikou: well, let's go out and see what has happened in the last 50 years.
Narrator: meanwhile.
(We see Cartman and Kenny outside the Burnt Tower.)
Kenny: wow, I never knew such towers existed.
Cartman: well.
(The Burnt tower collapses with a crash onto Kenny.)
Cartman: OH MY GOD! THE BASTARDS! THEY KILLED KENNY!
(Cartman goes over and drags Kenny's body out of the wreckage.)
Cartman: OH MY GOD! THE BASTARDS! THEY REALLY KILLED KENNY!
Narrator: and so now you know how Kenny REALLY died.
(The camera zooms back to the three dogs on the streets of Ecruteak)
Suicune: hey, look at that banner.
(Camera zooms in on banner. It reads "Professor Elm's great speech today in front of Tin Tower. Be there or be square!")
Raikou: I don't think I'm square.
Entei: maybe we should go take a look.
(They walk off)
(The scene changes. We see Professor Elm standing on a podium addressing a crowd.)
Professor Elm: and so in conclusion, I say that the Legendary Pokemon do not exist. Any questions?
Sage#1: (from crowd) yes! I think you just spoke a ton of crap!
(Audience boos and throws rotten fruit and eggs at Professor Elm.)
Professor Elm: but I PROVED it!
(Suddenly, one of the roof tiles falls off and hits Professor Elm. His skull is crushed and he dies on the spot.)
Sage#1: look! It is a sign from the gods! Repent! Repent!
(The three dogs arrive on the scene.)
Raikou: hey, where's this Professor Elm?
Entei: maybe we should leave.
Suicune: good idea.
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see Lugia walking on the streets of Ecruteak.)
Lugia: (To reader of Fan-Fic) for some reason, I feel compelled to visit Ho- oh today. (Suddenly notices the Three Dogs leaving the Tin tower)
Lugia: (rushing up to Entei and strangling him) VANDALS! THIEVES! GIMME BACK MY HOME! (A/N: see Episode 4 if you're confused!)
(Officer Jenny arrives)
Officer Jenny: hey, chill out! Why are you strangling him?
Lugia: those three burnt down my house! (Bursts into tears)
Officer Jenny: well, you could always get them in court.
Lugia: YES! THAT'S A GOOD IDEA! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!
Narrator: meanwhile.
(Camera zooms back to Jolteon and Umbreon)
Jolteon: hey, where's everyone going?
Umbreon: beats me.
Jolteon: well, let's follow the crowd.
(They follow the crowd until they reach the courthouse.)
Umbreon: that might give us a hint. (Points to Banner marked "today's public trial: Lugia VS the Three Dogs")
Jolteon: hmm.
(They walk in)
Umbreon: now where do we go?
Narrator: hey, over here! I saved seats for you two.
(Jolteon and Umbreon walk over and plop down in the seats.)
Narrator: now watch the fun.
Umbreon: odd, no lawyers.
Narrator: Lawyers don't exist in this game, duh. They're too evil. ^_-
Umbreon: 'k.
Uniformed Dude: all rise for His Honor Justice Sandact6!
(Everyone in courtroom rises)
(Sandact6 walks over to his spot)
Sandact6: let's just get this over with. I've received much E-mail bugging me to continue on were-pokism.
Jolteon: (whispering) haven't we seen this guy before?
Uniformed Dude: take your seats.
(Everyone in courtroom takes their seats)
Sandact6: all right, now, Lugia, on what charges are you prosecuting them?
Lugia: Your Honor, I'm prosecuting them on charges of Willful Trespass on Private Property, Being Drunk And Disorderly In A Public Place, Vandalism, and Arson!
Sandact6: hmm.and do you have any evidence to support your case?
Lugia: well, Your Honor, we can always go to my old house and see "Entei wuz here" scorched on one of the walls, dated on the night of the fire!
Sandact6: yes.and do you have any witnesses?
Lugia: you could ask anyone who is at least 60 years old, Your Honor.
Sandact6: ok. Now for the defense.
Entei: well, we did it, but we were drunk.
Raikou: -_-;;;
Sandact6: ok. I call a recess to allow the jury to reach a verdict.
(The jury files out of the courtroom)
(One minute later. The jury files back in.)
Sandact6: and have you reached a verdict?
Jury: yes, Your Honor.
Sandact6: and that would be?
Jury: we find the defendants guilty on all counts.
Sandact6: and now for the sentence.(flicks through a big book) ah. I sentence the three of you to three month's imprisonment.
Suicune: whew.
Sandact6: as Pokemon of Eusine!
(All gasp in horror)
Suicune: NOOO!!! PLEEAASSEE!! 20 YEARS IN THE SLAMMER! 50 YEARS! JUST DON'T DO IT!!!!!
Sandact6: okay.6 months! (Grins evilly)
(All gasp in horror again)
The Three Dogs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The Uniformed Dude opens a door and Eusine appears)
Eusine: oh goody goody! (Rubs hands together)
(Eusine takes and net and throws it over The Three Dogs, and drags them off kicking and screaming)
Sandaxct6: court is dismissed. (Bangs Gavel)
Jolteon: that was weird.
(Umbreon shrugs)
Narrator: and so ends another episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? Hope you like!