Author's note: I don't own pokemon, nor do I own any other characters not
created by me.sigh. I really hate Saturdays. Well, seems I'm back after yet
another boring stretch of time.during which I got another evil, freakish,
twisted idea! Enjoy! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 22: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms in onto Jolteon. He is reading the newspaper.)
Jolteon: (to self) I don't feel like doing anything today.
Narrator: wrong. You're going for a walk.
Jolteon: why? _
Narrator: because I'm the narrator and the script requires it. (Waves script around)
Jolteon: (grumbling) 'k.though I don't see why I have to do so.
Narrator: and so a while later.
(The scene changes and we see Jolteon walking along the ice floes)
Jolteon: (to narrator) all right, now that I'm out here, what am I supposed to do?
Narrator: keep walking.
Jolteon: whatever. (As he climbs over a mound of snow, he sees-)
Narrator: a HUGE army of evil mutant broccoli that is trying to take over the pokemon world!
Jolteon: OH MY MEW! (Rushes off)
(The scene changes, and we see Jolteon frantically pounding on Umbreon's door.)
Jolteon: Umbreon! Open up! The broccoli are attacking!
Umbreon: (from inside) what? 0_o Jolteon, have you finally snapped?
Jolteon: no! It's true! A whole army of evil mutant broccoli is marching on to take over the pokemon world!
(Jolteon rushes in and drags Umbreon to the aforementioned snow mound)
Umbreon: (seeing the army of broccoli) OH MEW! Quick! Jolteon, rush back and get your Thundergun! I'll get my Railgun and maybe we can hold them off for a moment!
(They rush off)
Narrator: a very short while later.
(The scene changes and we see Jolteon and Umbreon armed to the teeth)
Jolteon: (aiming Thundergun at the advancing wall of broccoli) target locked!
Umbreon: FIRE!
(They open fire on the army of broccoli with their weapons. Bits of broccoli fly in all directions)
Umbreon: damn, there's just too many of them!
Jolteon: well, what should we do?
Umbreon: you go get help! I'll try to hold them off as long as I can!
(Jolteon runs off)
Narrator: and so.
(The scene changes and Jolteon is outside Vaporeon's cave. Jolteon knocks on the door. Nothing happens.)
Jolteon: didn't she hear me? (Tries the door. It is locked.) hey, Vaporeon's door is NEVER locked!
(Jolteon puts a ear to the door and hears faint squeals and whines coming from inside.)
Jolteon: (slowly backing away from door) I don't think it would be a good idea to interrupt their erm, activities. (Runs off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see Umbreon valiantly trying to fight off the tide of broccoli. The wave of broccoli is almost upon him.)
Umbreon: JOLTEON!!! WHERE ARE YOU!
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see Jolteon outside Flareon's igloo)
Jolteon: (banging on door) Flareon! Open up! The evil mutant broccoli are attacking!
Flareon: (opening the door) what?
Jolteon: I said, the evil mutant broccoli are attacking!
Flareon: (going into frenzy) BROCCOLI?! WHERE?! LEMME AT THEM!!!
Narrator: to understand why broccoli would provoke Flareon into such a rage, we must take a little trip into the past.
(The scene changes and we see Flareon as an Eevee pup of about 7 years old sitting down at the table having dinner. He is about to get up and leave when his mother stops him.)
Flareon's Mother: have you forgotten something?
Flareon: (wiping mouth) no.
Flareon's mother: you forgot to eat your broccoli.
Flareon: (making disgusted face) no eat broccoli. Broccoli yucky.
Flareon's mother: (picking Flareon up and setting him back in his chair) well, I spent over three hours cooking this, and you can jolly well stay there until you eat it!
Narrator: and so poor Flareon had to sit there, day and night, until the Murkrows came and ate the broccoli off his plate. Needless to say, they died a few hours after eating the broccoli. And so this happened every time broccoli was served, which was quite often. Therefore, it left a permanent loathing of broccoli in Flareon.
(The scene changes back to Jolteon and Flareon)
Jolteon: hey, chill, man!
Flareon: (trashing about frenziedly) BROCCOLI! WHERE?! KILL BROCCOLI!
Jolteon: maybe it would help if you had a weapon.
Flareon: YES! WEAPON KILL BROCCOLI GOOD! (Rushes back in and returns with a two-meter Katana.)
Jolteon: (staring at the Katana) where'd you get that? 0_o
Flareon: bought it in an auction. NOW WHERE BROCCOLI?! SHOW ME!
Narrator: I will attempt to explain the origins of that Katana.and so, quite some games away.
(The scene changes and we see Guren and Gunjo from Ninja Assault. They are eating sushi when a Namco Employee walks along.)
Namco Employee: all right! Lunch break is over! Let's get back to filming!
Gunjo: but wait.where are our Katanas?
Namco Employee: (shifting uncomfortably) well, Namco is so poor; we had to auction them off to provide money for making games.
Guren: you WHAT?! How are we supposed to save Princess Koto without weapons?
Namco employee: well, the scriptwriters have made an exception.you can use these leftovers from Time Crisis II. (Tosses them two handguns)
Gunjo: (waving handgun about) but these are.GUNS!
Namco Employee: and your point is.?
Guren: guns didn't exist in medieval Japan!
Namco Employee: well, look at it this way.at least we painted them to make them LOOK ancient.
Guren: but.
Namco Employee: look, do you two still want your jobs?
Guren and Gunjo: (empathically) YES!
Namco Employee: so pipe down and get up. You're on in three minutes.
Narrator: and so this is why Ninja Assault is a gun game instead of a sword fighting game. And now back to our heroes.
(The camera zooms back to Jolteon and Flareon)
Flareon: KILL BROCCOLI! (Dips the Katana in gas and spits an ember on it. The katana goes "woomph" and bursts into flame like a bar of magnesium.)
Jolteon: cool! All right, the broccoli's that way. (Points)
Flareon: KILL BROCCOLI! (Runs away in a cloud of smoke)
Jolteon: I better catch up with him.(runs off)
(The scene changes back to Umbreon)
Umbreon: (Punching a stalk of Broccoli) JOLTEON! WHERE ARE YOU!!!
(Suddenly, a red streak of flame that is the freaked-out Flareon bursts in and begins disseminating the broccoli.)
Umbreon: whew.
Flareon: BROCCOLI! DIE!!!
(They work at killing the broccoli)
Jolteon: (zapping a stalk of broccoli) it's no good! They just keep coming!
(Suddenly, The Crimson Lugia walks in)
The Crimson Lugia: broccoli! Yummy! ^_^ (Gobbles up all the broccoli and flies away)
Umbreon: what was THAT?
Jolteon: I don't know.but I guess now we have to find the responsible party.
(Suddenly, a milktruck flies in)
Flareon: a flying milktruck! Who could have built that?
(The side window of the milktruck opens and Tracey Sketchit pokes his head out)
Jolteon: it's you!
Umbreon: you're not dead!
Tracey: (shaking his fist at our heroes) I can't believe you've stopped me in the middle of my plans! But it's not over yet! I won't forget any of your faces and I SHALL return and have my revenge one day! (Flies off)
Jolteon: what the.
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? The review button is down there, I'm begging you to use it!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 22: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms in onto Jolteon. He is reading the newspaper.)
Jolteon: (to self) I don't feel like doing anything today.
Narrator: wrong. You're going for a walk.
Jolteon: why? _
Narrator: because I'm the narrator and the script requires it. (Waves script around)
Jolteon: (grumbling) 'k.though I don't see why I have to do so.
Narrator: and so a while later.
(The scene changes and we see Jolteon walking along the ice floes)
Jolteon: (to narrator) all right, now that I'm out here, what am I supposed to do?
Narrator: keep walking.
Jolteon: whatever. (As he climbs over a mound of snow, he sees-)
Narrator: a HUGE army of evil mutant broccoli that is trying to take over the pokemon world!
Jolteon: OH MY MEW! (Rushes off)
(The scene changes, and we see Jolteon frantically pounding on Umbreon's door.)
Jolteon: Umbreon! Open up! The broccoli are attacking!
Umbreon: (from inside) what? 0_o Jolteon, have you finally snapped?
Jolteon: no! It's true! A whole army of evil mutant broccoli is marching on to take over the pokemon world!
(Jolteon rushes in and drags Umbreon to the aforementioned snow mound)
Umbreon: (seeing the army of broccoli) OH MEW! Quick! Jolteon, rush back and get your Thundergun! I'll get my Railgun and maybe we can hold them off for a moment!
(They rush off)
Narrator: a very short while later.
(The scene changes and we see Jolteon and Umbreon armed to the teeth)
Jolteon: (aiming Thundergun at the advancing wall of broccoli) target locked!
Umbreon: FIRE!
(They open fire on the army of broccoli with their weapons. Bits of broccoli fly in all directions)
Umbreon: damn, there's just too many of them!
Jolteon: well, what should we do?
Umbreon: you go get help! I'll try to hold them off as long as I can!
(Jolteon runs off)
Narrator: and so.
(The scene changes and Jolteon is outside Vaporeon's cave. Jolteon knocks on the door. Nothing happens.)
Jolteon: didn't she hear me? (Tries the door. It is locked.) hey, Vaporeon's door is NEVER locked!
(Jolteon puts a ear to the door and hears faint squeals and whines coming from inside.)
Jolteon: (slowly backing away from door) I don't think it would be a good idea to interrupt their erm, activities. (Runs off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see Umbreon valiantly trying to fight off the tide of broccoli. The wave of broccoli is almost upon him.)
Umbreon: JOLTEON!!! WHERE ARE YOU!
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see Jolteon outside Flareon's igloo)
Jolteon: (banging on door) Flareon! Open up! The evil mutant broccoli are attacking!
Flareon: (opening the door) what?
Jolteon: I said, the evil mutant broccoli are attacking!
Flareon: (going into frenzy) BROCCOLI?! WHERE?! LEMME AT THEM!!!
Narrator: to understand why broccoli would provoke Flareon into such a rage, we must take a little trip into the past.
(The scene changes and we see Flareon as an Eevee pup of about 7 years old sitting down at the table having dinner. He is about to get up and leave when his mother stops him.)
Flareon's Mother: have you forgotten something?
Flareon: (wiping mouth) no.
Flareon's mother: you forgot to eat your broccoli.
Flareon: (making disgusted face) no eat broccoli. Broccoli yucky.
Flareon's mother: (picking Flareon up and setting him back in his chair) well, I spent over three hours cooking this, and you can jolly well stay there until you eat it!
Narrator: and so poor Flareon had to sit there, day and night, until the Murkrows came and ate the broccoli off his plate. Needless to say, they died a few hours after eating the broccoli. And so this happened every time broccoli was served, which was quite often. Therefore, it left a permanent loathing of broccoli in Flareon.
(The scene changes back to Jolteon and Flareon)
Jolteon: hey, chill, man!
Flareon: (trashing about frenziedly) BROCCOLI! WHERE?! KILL BROCCOLI!
Jolteon: maybe it would help if you had a weapon.
Flareon: YES! WEAPON KILL BROCCOLI GOOD! (Rushes back in and returns with a two-meter Katana.)
Jolteon: (staring at the Katana) where'd you get that? 0_o
Flareon: bought it in an auction. NOW WHERE BROCCOLI?! SHOW ME!
Narrator: I will attempt to explain the origins of that Katana.and so, quite some games away.
(The scene changes and we see Guren and Gunjo from Ninja Assault. They are eating sushi when a Namco Employee walks along.)
Namco Employee: all right! Lunch break is over! Let's get back to filming!
Gunjo: but wait.where are our Katanas?
Namco Employee: (shifting uncomfortably) well, Namco is so poor; we had to auction them off to provide money for making games.
Guren: you WHAT?! How are we supposed to save Princess Koto without weapons?
Namco employee: well, the scriptwriters have made an exception.you can use these leftovers from Time Crisis II. (Tosses them two handguns)
Gunjo: (waving handgun about) but these are.GUNS!
Namco Employee: and your point is.?
Guren: guns didn't exist in medieval Japan!
Namco Employee: well, look at it this way.at least we painted them to make them LOOK ancient.
Guren: but.
Namco Employee: look, do you two still want your jobs?
Guren and Gunjo: (empathically) YES!
Namco Employee: so pipe down and get up. You're on in three minutes.
Narrator: and so this is why Ninja Assault is a gun game instead of a sword fighting game. And now back to our heroes.
(The camera zooms back to Jolteon and Flareon)
Flareon: KILL BROCCOLI! (Dips the Katana in gas and spits an ember on it. The katana goes "woomph" and bursts into flame like a bar of magnesium.)
Jolteon: cool! All right, the broccoli's that way. (Points)
Flareon: KILL BROCCOLI! (Runs away in a cloud of smoke)
Jolteon: I better catch up with him.(runs off)
(The scene changes back to Umbreon)
Umbreon: (Punching a stalk of Broccoli) JOLTEON! WHERE ARE YOU!!!
(Suddenly, a red streak of flame that is the freaked-out Flareon bursts in and begins disseminating the broccoli.)
Umbreon: whew.
Flareon: BROCCOLI! DIE!!!
(They work at killing the broccoli)
Jolteon: (zapping a stalk of broccoli) it's no good! They just keep coming!
(Suddenly, The Crimson Lugia walks in)
The Crimson Lugia: broccoli! Yummy! ^_^ (Gobbles up all the broccoli and flies away)
Umbreon: what was THAT?
Jolteon: I don't know.but I guess now we have to find the responsible party.
(Suddenly, a milktruck flies in)
Flareon: a flying milktruck! Who could have built that?
(The side window of the milktruck opens and Tracey Sketchit pokes his head out)
Jolteon: it's you!
Umbreon: you're not dead!
Tracey: (shaking his fist at our heroes) I can't believe you've stopped me in the middle of my plans! But it's not over yet! I won't forget any of your faces and I SHALL return and have my revenge one day! (Flies off)
Jolteon: what the.
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? The review button is down there, I'm begging you to use it!