Author's note: I don't own pokemon.yeah yeah. Whatever. Well, I just came
up with two more freakish ideas while I was lying in bed last night, so I
jotted them down on a piece of paper and now I'm putting them here! Enjoy!
^_^
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 23: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the mountains.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see me pacing around in circles)
Narrator: where are Vaporeon and Espeon?! They said they would be here!
(The door opens and Vaporeon and Espeon stumble in, evidently drunk.)
Vaporeon: I'm soooo drunk.
Narrator: I suppose you two would not be filming this episode in you present state would you?
(The two of them ignore Lccorp2 and stumble into the bedroom)
Narrator: oh well. Since the original script isn't going to work, I suppose we've got to amend it a bit.with my handy-dandy SPY CAM! (Laughs evilly and turns on a TV monitor. The screen shows the interior on Espeon's bedroom. Camera zooms in onto the TV monitor.)
Narrator: well, something interesting might happen. (Hears the bedroom door's lock click)
(The monitor shows Espeon and Vaporeon French kissing on the bed, until-)
Vaporeon: (suddenly alert) Espie!
Espeon: (slurring) what?
Vaporeon: I think there's someone trying to peep at us through the curtains!
Espeon: I'll settle it. (Walks over to the window and draws the curtains to reveal.Tracey Sketchit!)
Tracey: (looks up) AAAAAAHHHH!!! (Picks up his sketchbook and tries to run away)
Espeon: I don't think you're getting away! (Uses disable on Tracey) now let's see what he was drawing.
(Espeon takes the sketchbook out of the frozen Tracey's hands and flips through the pages. The camera shows for a moment the title: "the mating habits of Eeveelutions". On the last page is a half finished sketch of Espeon and Vaporeon kissing)
Espeon: (face going very red) why you.(rips up sketchbook and uses Psychic on Tracey. Tracey flies over the horizon.)
Narrator: (giggling) hee hee hee.
(Espeon and Vaporeon continue with their erm, activities for some more time)
(Suddenly, the picture on the TV screen is replaced with "censored" written in big letters)
Narrator: whoops, there goes the automatic Pg-13 rating censorship.
Vaporeon: (feeling the effect of alcohol and hormones) I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER, ESPIE! LET'S DO IT RIGHT HERE AND NOW!
(The sound is abruptly cut off)
Narrator: and there goes the microphone. Well, what should I do now while waiting for them to sober up? (Looks out at reader of Fan-Fic.)
Reader of Fan-fic: (Insert Your Response Here)
Narrator: oh, yes. But I'd rather go read the Encyclopedia Gameia. (Produces a HUGE book and starts reading)
(Some time later)
Narrator: and so, the quadratic formula is minus B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC over.(Feels a tap on shoulder. I look up and see Wild Dog from Time crisis II)
Wild Dog: Dear God! Hire me! Please!
Narrator: hey, what're you doing in my fic?
Wild Dog: Namco fired me because I wasn't popular anymore and so I'm unemployed! Do you have a job? I can shoot really well and I've got a prosthetic arm.
Narrator: no, but check back tomorrow.
Wild Dog: I get the same response everywhere.(Walks away)
Narrator: that was weird. (Goes back to reading Encyclopedia Gameia)
(A very long time later.)
(The camera shows me sleeping next to my filming apparatus.)
Narrator: (feeling something wet and warm on his face) mmmmffff.wha? (Opens eyes and sees Vaporeon licking him on the face) AAA! FACE LICKER! FACE LICKER! GET OFF! GET OFF! (A/N: yes, I really hate it when dogs do that when I'm sleeping over at someone else's house)
Vaporeon: there's no need to get hysterical.
Narrator: (picking himself up) all right.now can we start filming?
Vaporeon: yes! ^_^
Narrator: where's Espeon?
Vaporeon: still in bed! ^_^
Narrator: all right, give me a minute to set everything up.
(Some time later)
Vaporeon: hello, again, little pups! ^_^ Today I'm going to read you a story from this book! (Holds up the same book from Episode 17.)
(Suddenly, Jolteon bursts in)
Jolteon: hey! Last Saturday there was a really big army of broccoli.
Narrator: we know.now come here and sit down and you can watch me film.
(Jolteon comes over and sits down)
Vaporeon: this story is entitled "Mistyrella"! ^_^
Jolteon: ok.
Vaporeon: (reading from book) once upon a time, there was a redhead named Mistyrella. Mistyrella had two sisters who really tried to be civil to her, but since she was such a stuck-up prick, her sisters got fed up and locked her in the cellar for a day as punishment. Unfortunately for Mistyrella, that day was the day of the prince's lemonade party, and she wanted to go. So she whined and whined and whined until even the walls got sick of hearing her whine. Suddenly, a man appeared and introduced himself as Mistyrella's Hairy Godfather. He said that he was sick and tired of her whining and that she could go to the party in her best dress, provided she was back by midnight or something bad would happen. So he waved a wand and poof! She was at the party. However, she was having such a good time at the party she did not notice the clock strike twelve, and so the Hairy Godfather's words came true: her dress simply disappeared and she was left standing butt naked in the middle on the place. Mistyrella instantly died of shame, and one of her sisters married the prince, and they all lived happily ever after, with the exception of Mistyrella and the 25 lemon pies she ate at the party. The end. And the moral of the story is: don't whine excessively and respect curfews.
Jolteon: what kind of story WAS that? 0_o
Narrator: one that I wrote myself.
Jolteon: umm.
Narrator: well, that wraps it up for now. I gotta get going to a press conference. (Rushes off)
Narrator: And so ends another Episode of Eskimo Jolteon with the exception of.
(The scene changes and we see Lccorp2 being hounded by reporters.)
Reporter#1: sir, are you confident that you can make Eskimo Jolteon the longest FF.net series in history?
Narrator: well, if the people who make Days Of Our Lives can come up with a seemingly never-ending story, so can I.
Reporter#2: when are Espeon and Vaporeon getting married?
Narrator: I'm sorry, but I can't disclose any plot details. Yes, it will happen, but I won't say when. Think for yourself.
Reporter#1: but we want to know!
Reporter#2: yeah!
Crowd of reporters: (chanting) we want to know! We want to know!
Narrator: now look, why don't you lot go down the block to Corrector9Yui and The Crimson Lugia and bug them instead? They're just down the block!
Crowd of reporters: HELL YEAH! (They rush out)
Narrator: heh heh heh.
(Camera fades out)
How'd you like this silly story? Please review!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 23: A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the mountains.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see me pacing around in circles)
Narrator: where are Vaporeon and Espeon?! They said they would be here!
(The door opens and Vaporeon and Espeon stumble in, evidently drunk.)
Vaporeon: I'm soooo drunk.
Narrator: I suppose you two would not be filming this episode in you present state would you?
(The two of them ignore Lccorp2 and stumble into the bedroom)
Narrator: oh well. Since the original script isn't going to work, I suppose we've got to amend it a bit.with my handy-dandy SPY CAM! (Laughs evilly and turns on a TV monitor. The screen shows the interior on Espeon's bedroom. Camera zooms in onto the TV monitor.)
Narrator: well, something interesting might happen. (Hears the bedroom door's lock click)
(The monitor shows Espeon and Vaporeon French kissing on the bed, until-)
Vaporeon: (suddenly alert) Espie!
Espeon: (slurring) what?
Vaporeon: I think there's someone trying to peep at us through the curtains!
Espeon: I'll settle it. (Walks over to the window and draws the curtains to reveal.Tracey Sketchit!)
Tracey: (looks up) AAAAAAHHHH!!! (Picks up his sketchbook and tries to run away)
Espeon: I don't think you're getting away! (Uses disable on Tracey) now let's see what he was drawing.
(Espeon takes the sketchbook out of the frozen Tracey's hands and flips through the pages. The camera shows for a moment the title: "the mating habits of Eeveelutions". On the last page is a half finished sketch of Espeon and Vaporeon kissing)
Espeon: (face going very red) why you.(rips up sketchbook and uses Psychic on Tracey. Tracey flies over the horizon.)
Narrator: (giggling) hee hee hee.
(Espeon and Vaporeon continue with their erm, activities for some more time)
(Suddenly, the picture on the TV screen is replaced with "censored" written in big letters)
Narrator: whoops, there goes the automatic Pg-13 rating censorship.
Vaporeon: (feeling the effect of alcohol and hormones) I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER, ESPIE! LET'S DO IT RIGHT HERE AND NOW!
(The sound is abruptly cut off)
Narrator: and there goes the microphone. Well, what should I do now while waiting for them to sober up? (Looks out at reader of Fan-Fic.)
Reader of Fan-fic: (Insert Your Response Here)
Narrator: oh, yes. But I'd rather go read the Encyclopedia Gameia. (Produces a HUGE book and starts reading)
(Some time later)
Narrator: and so, the quadratic formula is minus B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC over.(Feels a tap on shoulder. I look up and see Wild Dog from Time crisis II)
Wild Dog: Dear God! Hire me! Please!
Narrator: hey, what're you doing in my fic?
Wild Dog: Namco fired me because I wasn't popular anymore and so I'm unemployed! Do you have a job? I can shoot really well and I've got a prosthetic arm.
Narrator: no, but check back tomorrow.
Wild Dog: I get the same response everywhere.(Walks away)
Narrator: that was weird. (Goes back to reading Encyclopedia Gameia)
(A very long time later.)
(The camera shows me sleeping next to my filming apparatus.)
Narrator: (feeling something wet and warm on his face) mmmmffff.wha? (Opens eyes and sees Vaporeon licking him on the face) AAA! FACE LICKER! FACE LICKER! GET OFF! GET OFF! (A/N: yes, I really hate it when dogs do that when I'm sleeping over at someone else's house)
Vaporeon: there's no need to get hysterical.
Narrator: (picking himself up) all right.now can we start filming?
Vaporeon: yes! ^_^
Narrator: where's Espeon?
Vaporeon: still in bed! ^_^
Narrator: all right, give me a minute to set everything up.
(Some time later)
Vaporeon: hello, again, little pups! ^_^ Today I'm going to read you a story from this book! (Holds up the same book from Episode 17.)
(Suddenly, Jolteon bursts in)
Jolteon: hey! Last Saturday there was a really big army of broccoli.
Narrator: we know.now come here and sit down and you can watch me film.
(Jolteon comes over and sits down)
Vaporeon: this story is entitled "Mistyrella"! ^_^
Jolteon: ok.
Vaporeon: (reading from book) once upon a time, there was a redhead named Mistyrella. Mistyrella had two sisters who really tried to be civil to her, but since she was such a stuck-up prick, her sisters got fed up and locked her in the cellar for a day as punishment. Unfortunately for Mistyrella, that day was the day of the prince's lemonade party, and she wanted to go. So she whined and whined and whined until even the walls got sick of hearing her whine. Suddenly, a man appeared and introduced himself as Mistyrella's Hairy Godfather. He said that he was sick and tired of her whining and that she could go to the party in her best dress, provided she was back by midnight or something bad would happen. So he waved a wand and poof! She was at the party. However, she was having such a good time at the party she did not notice the clock strike twelve, and so the Hairy Godfather's words came true: her dress simply disappeared and she was left standing butt naked in the middle on the place. Mistyrella instantly died of shame, and one of her sisters married the prince, and they all lived happily ever after, with the exception of Mistyrella and the 25 lemon pies she ate at the party. The end. And the moral of the story is: don't whine excessively and respect curfews.
Jolteon: what kind of story WAS that? 0_o
Narrator: one that I wrote myself.
Jolteon: umm.
Narrator: well, that wraps it up for now. I gotta get going to a press conference. (Rushes off)
Narrator: And so ends another Episode of Eskimo Jolteon with the exception of.
(The scene changes and we see Lccorp2 being hounded by reporters.)
Reporter#1: sir, are you confident that you can make Eskimo Jolteon the longest FF.net series in history?
Narrator: well, if the people who make Days Of Our Lives can come up with a seemingly never-ending story, so can I.
Reporter#2: when are Espeon and Vaporeon getting married?
Narrator: I'm sorry, but I can't disclose any plot details. Yes, it will happen, but I won't say when. Think for yourself.
Reporter#1: but we want to know!
Reporter#2: yeah!
Crowd of reporters: (chanting) we want to know! We want to know!
Narrator: now look, why don't you lot go down the block to Corrector9Yui and The Crimson Lugia and bug them instead? They're just down the block!
Crowd of reporters: HELL YEAH! (They rush out)
Narrator: heh heh heh.
(Camera fades out)
How'd you like this silly story? Please review!