Author's note: if you haven't seen my bio yet, then please listen up: could
you please tell me where to get Humanist BT Roman (the font)? I need
it.(coughs and wheezes desperately) the zip file I downloaded from
pokemonzeo.com apparently doesn't seem to have it.and I tried Humanist BT
and condensed in all forms (Normal, bold and italic) and it doesn't seem
right.or am I having eye problems? Oh well. Please help a poor loser down
on his luck, please? (Looks at you with big puppy eyes like Espeon) oh
well, enough rambling.on with the story!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 28:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon and Umbreon watching television.)
Jolteon: this is boring. (Flips through the channel.)
Umbreon: (munching popcorn) I concur.
Jolteon: (looking out at me) well, do you have any idea what we should do?
Narrator: maybe we could go.snowboarding?
Umbreon: do you know how to snowboard in the first place?
Narrator: oh, yes. (Goes to website and shows them picture of the times)
Umbreon: you just ripped that off gamescreenshots.com.
Narrator: well, I- (makes mental note to get Umbreon later)
Jolteon: (grabbing a snowboard from a cupboard) come on, let's call the others and go.
Narrator: and so, some time later.
(The scene changes and we see our gang of five hanging out in a ski lodge's café.)
Umbreon: I thought we were here to go snowboarding.
Espeon: yes, but first, we eat.
(A chansey waitress arrives)
Chansey Waitress: all right, here are your five super-duper-ultra-hyper- jumbo-king-sized meals.
Jolteon: (staring at the huge mound of food) how are we going to finish this all?
Vaporeon: (giggling) this is a fic, silly! ^_^ The normal rules of physics don't apply here!
Flareon: oh well. Let's eat.
(They tuck into the food)
Narrator: a very short distance away.
(The camera moves to the café counter and we see The Crimson Lugia in conversation with the guy behind the counter.)
The Crimson Lugia: all right, now I want to buy up your whole supply of cookies, NOW!
Guy: all right, all right. Now let me look for-
(Suddenly, the door of the café bursts open to reveal-)
Narrator: Darth Gary! (Star wars Empire music plays)
(Darth Gary steps in, clothed in a black cloak and helmet)
Jolteon: is this weird, or what?
Darth Gary: (in hollow, monotonous voice) attention. I represent the great emperor Tracey Sketchit. I have been ordered to stockpile all the cookies for no apparent reason. Surrender your cookies now.
The Crimson Lugia: NEVER! (Hugs bags of cookies protectively)
Darth Gary: you refuse? (Pulls out laser pistol) feel the wrath of the great emperor Tracey! (Fires a volley of shots at The Crimson Lugia. Some of the shots hit the bag of cookies and the contents fall out onto the floor.)
The Crimson Lugia: (nimbly dodging the shots) MY COOKIES! ;_; WHY YOU LITTLE !@#$, I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK.(fires Crimson Aeroblast at Darth Gary. It hits him right on.)
(Darth Gary is blasted by the force of the Crimson Aeroblast through the roof and out)
Darth Gary: I'll.be.back.(vanishes from sight)
The Crimson Lugia: now I can have my cookies! (Picks up cookies from the floor and shovels them into her mouth.)
Vaporeon: that was odd.(continues eating)
Narrator: and so.
(One hour later. Our heroes have finished eating and are outside with their snowboards.)
Jolteon: all right, see you all later. (Kicks off the snowboard and slides down)
Vaporeon: well, Espie and I are going that way. (Points) we'd better get going. (They kick off too)
Umbreon: well that leaves me and.Flareon? (Hears a snoring noise and looks down to see Flareon asleep in the snow.)
Narrator: I'll handle him.
Umbreon: oh well, I guess that meal was too heavy for him. (Kicks off)
(The camera follows Umbreon as he snowboards down the slope)
Umbreon: (to self) yep, what a great day to be alive.
Narrator: Umbreon?
Umbreon: yes?
Narrator: look-oh, never mind
Umbreon: what was that f- (sees a tree looming way too close for comfort for him)
Narrator: this is gonna be ugly. (Shields eyes)
(Umbreon smacks head-first into the tree trunk. His snowboard bounces across the snow and comes to a stop near a snow mound, and his head is stuck through the tree trunk.)
Umbreon: ouch.(realizes the position he's in) oh great. (Tries to pull his head out, to no avail) oh no.
Narrator: well, this is where I leave you. (Walks off)
Umbreon: hey, come back and get me out of here!
Narrator: maybe you should look in the other direction. (Laughs evilly and walks off)
Umbreon: huh? (Turns head and sees Tracey Sketchit approaching) OH NO! DEAR MEW, PLEASE SPARE ME! ANYHTING BUT THAT!
Tracey: (getting out sketchbook) hi, are you an Umbreon? Why do you have your head stuck through a tree trunk? Do you like cheese? Can I sketch you? Why are your eyes red? Do you have a mate? What do you think of McDonald's?
Umbreon: (screaming) PLEASE STOP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! PLEASE!!! THE PAIN!!!
Narrator: hee hee hee. Meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see Espeon and Vaporeon in what shall we call.a secluded spot.)
Espeon: My love, I've got something for you.
Vaporeon: (rubbing against Espeon) what is it, Espie? ^_^
Espeon: (producing a small bouquet of roses from behind his back) here.
Vaporeon: (squealing happily) oh! They're so pretty.
(To Espeon's amazement, she takes a rose, chews, and swallows.) (A/N yes, most ladies don't do that, but they're POKEMON, remember? :p)
Vaporeon: (continuing sentence) and yummy as well! How DID you know I loved to eat flowers ever since I was a pup?
Espeon: well, I.
Vaporeon: oh, you're so sweet. (Kisses Espeon)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we are back at Umbreon. A crowd has already gathered around and is "ooh"ing and "aah"ing.)
Tracey: how do you like cell phones? Do any of your relatives have the pokerus? Do you own a magic sword? How does moonlight feel on your skin?
Umbreon: (Tearing and Screaming Hysterically) I CONFESS! I CONFESS! I PUT ITCHING POWDER ON ESPEON'S BED! I ALSO STOLE THE CHEESE-NIPS FROM PYROVULPIX! PLEASE LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tracey: if a woodchuck could chuck wood how much would it chuck? Do pizzas make good blankets? Did you really kill Kenny?
Umbreon: (Dangerously close to snapping) AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Suddenly, a bright blue beam of light descends from the sky and fries the tree and unfortunately, Umbreon as well. Umbreon frantically limps off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see three scientists working in some top-secret government lab.)
Scientist#1: I think we went off aim.
Scientist#2: I TOLD you, move the ion cannon a little to the left, but would you listen?
Scientist#3: (taking a piece of paper from Scientist#1's hands) you've got the aiming coordinates upside down.
Scientist#2: that would explain it.
Scientist#1: oh well, back to the calculation board.
Narrator: and so.
(The scene changes back to the burnt remains of the tree. The crowd is dispersing.)
Tracey: hey come back, I haven't finished yet!
(Suddenly, Corrector9Yui leaps out from the crowd in her Corrector Yui Battle Suit)
Corrector9Yui: die, evil Tracey! (Draws dual pistols)
Tracey: AAAHH! (Runs inside the Levitating Milktruck of Doom and flies off)
Corrector9Yui: come back here, you coward! (Fires pistols wildly)
Narrator: oh well.and so.
(The scene changes and we see Jolteon standing outside the ski lodge. Umbreon arrives, burnt, bruised and battered.)
Jolteon: hey, what happened to you?
Umbreon: it's a long story.
Jolteon: well, you can tell me about it inside. Flareon, Vaporeon and Espeon are already back.
Umbreon: good idea.
(They walk in and close the door)
Narrator: and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? Please review!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 28:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the sea.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon and Umbreon watching television.)
Jolteon: this is boring. (Flips through the channel.)
Umbreon: (munching popcorn) I concur.
Jolteon: (looking out at me) well, do you have any idea what we should do?
Narrator: maybe we could go.snowboarding?
Umbreon: do you know how to snowboard in the first place?
Narrator: oh, yes. (Goes to website and shows them picture of the times)
Umbreon: you just ripped that off gamescreenshots.com.
Narrator: well, I- (makes mental note to get Umbreon later)
Jolteon: (grabbing a snowboard from a cupboard) come on, let's call the others and go.
Narrator: and so, some time later.
(The scene changes and we see our gang of five hanging out in a ski lodge's café.)
Umbreon: I thought we were here to go snowboarding.
Espeon: yes, but first, we eat.
(A chansey waitress arrives)
Chansey Waitress: all right, here are your five super-duper-ultra-hyper- jumbo-king-sized meals.
Jolteon: (staring at the huge mound of food) how are we going to finish this all?
Vaporeon: (giggling) this is a fic, silly! ^_^ The normal rules of physics don't apply here!
Flareon: oh well. Let's eat.
(They tuck into the food)
Narrator: a very short distance away.
(The camera moves to the café counter and we see The Crimson Lugia in conversation with the guy behind the counter.)
The Crimson Lugia: all right, now I want to buy up your whole supply of cookies, NOW!
Guy: all right, all right. Now let me look for-
(Suddenly, the door of the café bursts open to reveal-)
Narrator: Darth Gary! (Star wars Empire music plays)
(Darth Gary steps in, clothed in a black cloak and helmet)
Jolteon: is this weird, or what?
Darth Gary: (in hollow, monotonous voice) attention. I represent the great emperor Tracey Sketchit. I have been ordered to stockpile all the cookies for no apparent reason. Surrender your cookies now.
The Crimson Lugia: NEVER! (Hugs bags of cookies protectively)
Darth Gary: you refuse? (Pulls out laser pistol) feel the wrath of the great emperor Tracey! (Fires a volley of shots at The Crimson Lugia. Some of the shots hit the bag of cookies and the contents fall out onto the floor.)
The Crimson Lugia: (nimbly dodging the shots) MY COOKIES! ;_; WHY YOU LITTLE !@#$, I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK.(fires Crimson Aeroblast at Darth Gary. It hits him right on.)
(Darth Gary is blasted by the force of the Crimson Aeroblast through the roof and out)
Darth Gary: I'll.be.back.(vanishes from sight)
The Crimson Lugia: now I can have my cookies! (Picks up cookies from the floor and shovels them into her mouth.)
Vaporeon: that was odd.(continues eating)
Narrator: and so.
(One hour later. Our heroes have finished eating and are outside with their snowboards.)
Jolteon: all right, see you all later. (Kicks off the snowboard and slides down)
Vaporeon: well, Espie and I are going that way. (Points) we'd better get going. (They kick off too)
Umbreon: well that leaves me and.Flareon? (Hears a snoring noise and looks down to see Flareon asleep in the snow.)
Narrator: I'll handle him.
Umbreon: oh well, I guess that meal was too heavy for him. (Kicks off)
(The camera follows Umbreon as he snowboards down the slope)
Umbreon: (to self) yep, what a great day to be alive.
Narrator: Umbreon?
Umbreon: yes?
Narrator: look-oh, never mind
Umbreon: what was that f- (sees a tree looming way too close for comfort for him)
Narrator: this is gonna be ugly. (Shields eyes)
(Umbreon smacks head-first into the tree trunk. His snowboard bounces across the snow and comes to a stop near a snow mound, and his head is stuck through the tree trunk.)
Umbreon: ouch.(realizes the position he's in) oh great. (Tries to pull his head out, to no avail) oh no.
Narrator: well, this is where I leave you. (Walks off)
Umbreon: hey, come back and get me out of here!
Narrator: maybe you should look in the other direction. (Laughs evilly and walks off)
Umbreon: huh? (Turns head and sees Tracey Sketchit approaching) OH NO! DEAR MEW, PLEASE SPARE ME! ANYHTING BUT THAT!
Tracey: (getting out sketchbook) hi, are you an Umbreon? Why do you have your head stuck through a tree trunk? Do you like cheese? Can I sketch you? Why are your eyes red? Do you have a mate? What do you think of McDonald's?
Umbreon: (screaming) PLEASE STOP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! PLEASE!!! THE PAIN!!!
Narrator: hee hee hee. Meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see Espeon and Vaporeon in what shall we call.a secluded spot.)
Espeon: My love, I've got something for you.
Vaporeon: (rubbing against Espeon) what is it, Espie? ^_^
Espeon: (producing a small bouquet of roses from behind his back) here.
Vaporeon: (squealing happily) oh! They're so pretty.
(To Espeon's amazement, she takes a rose, chews, and swallows.) (A/N yes, most ladies don't do that, but they're POKEMON, remember? :p)
Vaporeon: (continuing sentence) and yummy as well! How DID you know I loved to eat flowers ever since I was a pup?
Espeon: well, I.
Vaporeon: oh, you're so sweet. (Kisses Espeon)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we are back at Umbreon. A crowd has already gathered around and is "ooh"ing and "aah"ing.)
Tracey: how do you like cell phones? Do any of your relatives have the pokerus? Do you own a magic sword? How does moonlight feel on your skin?
Umbreon: (Tearing and Screaming Hysterically) I CONFESS! I CONFESS! I PUT ITCHING POWDER ON ESPEON'S BED! I ALSO STOLE THE CHEESE-NIPS FROM PYROVULPIX! PLEASE LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tracey: if a woodchuck could chuck wood how much would it chuck? Do pizzas make good blankets? Did you really kill Kenny?
Umbreon: (Dangerously close to snapping) AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Suddenly, a bright blue beam of light descends from the sky and fries the tree and unfortunately, Umbreon as well. Umbreon frantically limps off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes and we see three scientists working in some top-secret government lab.)
Scientist#1: I think we went off aim.
Scientist#2: I TOLD you, move the ion cannon a little to the left, but would you listen?
Scientist#3: (taking a piece of paper from Scientist#1's hands) you've got the aiming coordinates upside down.
Scientist#2: that would explain it.
Scientist#1: oh well, back to the calculation board.
Narrator: and so.
(The scene changes back to the burnt remains of the tree. The crowd is dispersing.)
Tracey: hey come back, I haven't finished yet!
(Suddenly, Corrector9Yui leaps out from the crowd in her Corrector Yui Battle Suit)
Corrector9Yui: die, evil Tracey! (Draws dual pistols)
Tracey: AAAHH! (Runs inside the Levitating Milktruck of Doom and flies off)
Corrector9Yui: come back here, you coward! (Fires pistols wildly)
Narrator: oh well.and so.
(The scene changes and we see Jolteon standing outside the ski lodge. Umbreon arrives, burnt, bruised and battered.)
Jolteon: hey, what happened to you?
Umbreon: it's a long story.
Jolteon: well, you can tell me about it inside. Flareon, Vaporeon and Espeon are already back.
Umbreon: good idea.
(They walk in and close the door)
Narrator: and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? Please review!