Author's note: I don't own pokemon, nor do I own any other character not
created by me. Oh well.now that I've spoofed some clerks; let's get on with
the story! ^_^ (Rubs bandaged leg) ouch. ^_^;
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 31:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the mountains.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see the gang of five watching TV.)
Jolteon: this is soo boring.
Espeon: (flicking through the channels) I agree.
Vaporeon: well, can you think of anything else to do? (Nuzzles against Espeon)
Espeon: well.
(Suddenly, there is a knock at the door.)
Jolteon: I'll get it. (Walks over to door)
(The door opens to reveal me.)
Jolteon: oh. Hi. What are YOU here for?
Narrator: well, FF.net is holding an assault on Tracey HQ, and as characters of my fic, you are invited to go along!
Umbreon: wow! That HAS got to beat watching TV at 3 pm.
Narrator: come on, let's go. (Waves hand)
Flareon: nice shades.
Narrator: (growling) shut up.
(Flareon shrugs and walks on)
(Half an hour later, at FF.net base. We see TCL, C9Y and PV sitting down at a table. The characters of all our fics are gathered around us. The crowd parts to let me through.)
Narrator: friends, authors, characters. Today we are gathered here for a special and memorable event.
All: THE ASSAULT ON TRACEY HQ!
Narrator: yes. And to do so, we must have.
All: weapons!
Narrator: um.yes. Authors first.
(I go over and unlock the door marked 'armory'. The authors (including me) walk inside)
The Crimson Lugia: I think I'll rely on my Crimson Aeroblast, but just in case.(grabs a chainsaw with her name etched on it)
Corrector9Yui: how bout this? (Picking up 5.56-mm commando rifle and donning her Corrector Yui battle suit)
Pyrovulpix: NO! I LIKE FIRE! (Hoists flamethrower and clears shelves of all the Molotov cocktails)
Narrator: I'll go with my old favorite. (Picks up two Ingram Mac-10s from a rack)
The Crimson Lugia: all right! Now all the characters can come in!
(Huge masses of characters file in and pick the armory clean)
Narrator: all right, now that we're suitably equipped, let the assault begin!
All: HELL YEAH!
(One hour later. We are standing on a grassy plain. In the distance looms the dark and forbidding shape of Tracey HQ.)
Corrector9Yui: all right, according to our map, Tracey HQ is right in front of us.
The Crimson Lugia: what are we waiting for? CHARGE!
(We charge towards the distance. Suddenly, lots of Ash Ketchum clones appear, armed with handguns.)
Pyrovulpix: they must have sent a strike force to counter us!
Narrator: (blasting away with Ingram Mac-10s) KILL EM ALL!
All: YEAH!
The Crimson Lugia: whoo-ee! (Blasts away with Crimson Aeroblast. Bits of Ash fly all over the place.)
Pyrovulpix: smoking! (Flames the nearest Ash clone, then scatters Molotov cocktails everywhere. The clones burst into flame and turn into very large cinders.)
Corrector9Yui: Die! Morty is good! (Fires rifle wildly)
(The battle rages on for three hours)
Corrector9Yui: we're running out of ammo!
Narrator: roger. (Pulls out a walkie-talkie and yells into it) hey, base! We need an ammo drop ASAP!
Corrector9Yui: (firing a burst of bullets) that's it, I just finished my last rounds. What do we do?
The Crimson Lugia: HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT! (Pulls out chainsaw and starts it up)
Corrector9Yui: I concur. (Fixes bayonet onto her rifle and charges)
(I wander off behind a bush)
Pyrovulpix: hey, where're you going?
Narrator: off for a while.
(Pyrovulpix shrugs and joins in the melee combat)
(Camera shifts back to TCL and C9Y as they engage in melee combat with the clones)
The Crimson Lugia: (hacking and slashing away with chainsaw) yippee!
(From the corner of her eyes, she sees a shiny Umbreon sinking its teeth into a clone's neck.)
The Crimson Lugia: seems like Lc's not missing out on the fun.
(The battle continues, until the last clone falls)
Pyrovulpix: (surveying the destruction) cool. Where is the lot of them?
(TCL and C9Y arrive on the scene)
Corrector9Yui: where's Lc?
(A whimper comes from behind a bush. It eventually turns into a voice.)
Narrator: could someone please throw me my clothes?
The Crimson Lugia: here, catch. (Tosses my clothes behind the bush)
Narrator: (coming out from behind bush) does anyone happen to have some mouthwash, by any chance?
Pyrovulpix: (handing me a bottle of Listerine) here.
Narrator: thanks. (Gargles and spits) I think those clones don't even know the meaning of the word 'bath'.
The Crimson Lugia: let us go on!
All: YEAH!
(The whole crowd charges on, the four of us at the lead.)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to the interior of Tracey HQ. We see Tracey in deep thought. Darth Gary comes in.)
Darth Gary: reporting sir. The authors are headed this way. They seem to want to kill you.
Tracey: I am in the midst of formulating my latest plan to take over the world. Don't let them get in my way.
Darth Gary: do not worry, master. They will be stopped by the mighty Power Vacuum. (Walks off) ha ha ha.
(The scene changes back to our heroes. They have made their way to the main tower when.)
Narrator: a giant four-story Vacuum drops from the sky!
Vacuum: (in mechanic voice) are you the fools who dare to start a fight against the Emperor Tracey? I am in charge of killing intruders. You all shall die here! (Fires a barrage of bullets at us. We duck for cover and return fire.)
The Crimson Lugia: it's no good! There 're just too many bullets flying around!
Narrator: I have an idea. Pyro, give me all your Molotov cocktails.
Pyrovulpix: whatever. (Hands me the whole bundle tied together)
Narrator: (taking the whole lot) thanks. (Steps out into the barrage)
Corrector9Yui: hey, what are you doi-
(A few bullets thud into me. They smart, but don't really hurt.)
Vacuum: (clearly surprised) what the.
Narrator: maybe you should have used silver or fire instead. (Lights all the Molotov cocktails and hurls them) catch.
(The whole bundle fly into the vacuum. Nothing happens for a while, then-)
Clunk.
(The authors and characters emerge from their hiding places and charge forward into the main tower.)
The Crimson Lugia: umm.you ok?
Narrator: it'll heal rather quickly.
(The scene changes to Tracey's private chambers. The door bursts open, knocking both Darth Gary and Tracey out, as they were standing behind the door. The authors rush in.)
Narrator: hello, where's- (notices Tracey and Darth Gary on the floor) oh.
The Crimson Lugia: oh well. What do we do now?
Corrector9Yui: maybe that should get your attention. (Points to a door marked 'treasury')
Pyrovulpix: ok. (Torches the door open)
(The authors stare at what they see behind the door, not believing their eyes.)
The Crimson Lugia: wow.
Corrector9Yui: I must be in heaven.
(Before their eyes lie the greatest heaps of gold and gems, cookies, Morty collectables and barrels of Jet fuel that mankind has ever seen)
Authors: (bouncing up and down) REJOICE! WE HAVE THE TREASURES OF THE EVIL EMPEROR!
(All the authors and characters charge in and help themselves to the vast hordes of loot)
The Crimson Lugia: lets cart it all home! (Stuffing as many cookies as she can into a huge sack)
All: YEAH!
(In a few moments, the treasury is empty)
Narrator: mission accomplished! We can all go home!
All: yay!
(They all leave. Camera fades out.)
Narrator: and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon, except for-
(The scene changes and we see Tracey Sketchit lying in the smoking ruins)
Tracey: (groaning) Darth Gary!
Darth Gary: you called me, master?
Tracey: yes. Shut up and help me put this brick on that other brick.
(Camera fades out as the pitifully try to rebuild the place)
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 31:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo near the mountains.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see the gang of five watching TV.)
Jolteon: this is soo boring.
Espeon: (flicking through the channels) I agree.
Vaporeon: well, can you think of anything else to do? (Nuzzles against Espeon)
Espeon: well.
(Suddenly, there is a knock at the door.)
Jolteon: I'll get it. (Walks over to door)
(The door opens to reveal me.)
Jolteon: oh. Hi. What are YOU here for?
Narrator: well, FF.net is holding an assault on Tracey HQ, and as characters of my fic, you are invited to go along!
Umbreon: wow! That HAS got to beat watching TV at 3 pm.
Narrator: come on, let's go. (Waves hand)
Flareon: nice shades.
Narrator: (growling) shut up.
(Flareon shrugs and walks on)
(Half an hour later, at FF.net base. We see TCL, C9Y and PV sitting down at a table. The characters of all our fics are gathered around us. The crowd parts to let me through.)
Narrator: friends, authors, characters. Today we are gathered here for a special and memorable event.
All: THE ASSAULT ON TRACEY HQ!
Narrator: yes. And to do so, we must have.
All: weapons!
Narrator: um.yes. Authors first.
(I go over and unlock the door marked 'armory'. The authors (including me) walk inside)
The Crimson Lugia: I think I'll rely on my Crimson Aeroblast, but just in case.(grabs a chainsaw with her name etched on it)
Corrector9Yui: how bout this? (Picking up 5.56-mm commando rifle and donning her Corrector Yui battle suit)
Pyrovulpix: NO! I LIKE FIRE! (Hoists flamethrower and clears shelves of all the Molotov cocktails)
Narrator: I'll go with my old favorite. (Picks up two Ingram Mac-10s from a rack)
The Crimson Lugia: all right! Now all the characters can come in!
(Huge masses of characters file in and pick the armory clean)
Narrator: all right, now that we're suitably equipped, let the assault begin!
All: HELL YEAH!
(One hour later. We are standing on a grassy plain. In the distance looms the dark and forbidding shape of Tracey HQ.)
Corrector9Yui: all right, according to our map, Tracey HQ is right in front of us.
The Crimson Lugia: what are we waiting for? CHARGE!
(We charge towards the distance. Suddenly, lots of Ash Ketchum clones appear, armed with handguns.)
Pyrovulpix: they must have sent a strike force to counter us!
Narrator: (blasting away with Ingram Mac-10s) KILL EM ALL!
All: YEAH!
The Crimson Lugia: whoo-ee! (Blasts away with Crimson Aeroblast. Bits of Ash fly all over the place.)
Pyrovulpix: smoking! (Flames the nearest Ash clone, then scatters Molotov cocktails everywhere. The clones burst into flame and turn into very large cinders.)
Corrector9Yui: Die! Morty is good! (Fires rifle wildly)
(The battle rages on for three hours)
Corrector9Yui: we're running out of ammo!
Narrator: roger. (Pulls out a walkie-talkie and yells into it) hey, base! We need an ammo drop ASAP!
Corrector9Yui: (firing a burst of bullets) that's it, I just finished my last rounds. What do we do?
The Crimson Lugia: HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT! (Pulls out chainsaw and starts it up)
Corrector9Yui: I concur. (Fixes bayonet onto her rifle and charges)
(I wander off behind a bush)
Pyrovulpix: hey, where're you going?
Narrator: off for a while.
(Pyrovulpix shrugs and joins in the melee combat)
(Camera shifts back to TCL and C9Y as they engage in melee combat with the clones)
The Crimson Lugia: (hacking and slashing away with chainsaw) yippee!
(From the corner of her eyes, she sees a shiny Umbreon sinking its teeth into a clone's neck.)
The Crimson Lugia: seems like Lc's not missing out on the fun.
(The battle continues, until the last clone falls)
Pyrovulpix: (surveying the destruction) cool. Where is the lot of them?
(TCL and C9Y arrive on the scene)
Corrector9Yui: where's Lc?
(A whimper comes from behind a bush. It eventually turns into a voice.)
Narrator: could someone please throw me my clothes?
The Crimson Lugia: here, catch. (Tosses my clothes behind the bush)
Narrator: (coming out from behind bush) does anyone happen to have some mouthwash, by any chance?
Pyrovulpix: (handing me a bottle of Listerine) here.
Narrator: thanks. (Gargles and spits) I think those clones don't even know the meaning of the word 'bath'.
The Crimson Lugia: let us go on!
All: YEAH!
(The whole crowd charges on, the four of us at the lead.)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to the interior of Tracey HQ. We see Tracey in deep thought. Darth Gary comes in.)
Darth Gary: reporting sir. The authors are headed this way. They seem to want to kill you.
Tracey: I am in the midst of formulating my latest plan to take over the world. Don't let them get in my way.
Darth Gary: do not worry, master. They will be stopped by the mighty Power Vacuum. (Walks off) ha ha ha.
(The scene changes back to our heroes. They have made their way to the main tower when.)
Narrator: a giant four-story Vacuum drops from the sky!
Vacuum: (in mechanic voice) are you the fools who dare to start a fight against the Emperor Tracey? I am in charge of killing intruders. You all shall die here! (Fires a barrage of bullets at us. We duck for cover and return fire.)
The Crimson Lugia: it's no good! There 're just too many bullets flying around!
Narrator: I have an idea. Pyro, give me all your Molotov cocktails.
Pyrovulpix: whatever. (Hands me the whole bundle tied together)
Narrator: (taking the whole lot) thanks. (Steps out into the barrage)
Corrector9Yui: hey, what are you doi-
(A few bullets thud into me. They smart, but don't really hurt.)
Vacuum: (clearly surprised) what the.
Narrator: maybe you should have used silver or fire instead. (Lights all the Molotov cocktails and hurls them) catch.
(The whole bundle fly into the vacuum. Nothing happens for a while, then-)
Clunk.
(The authors and characters emerge from their hiding places and charge forward into the main tower.)
The Crimson Lugia: umm.you ok?
Narrator: it'll heal rather quickly.
(The scene changes to Tracey's private chambers. The door bursts open, knocking both Darth Gary and Tracey out, as they were standing behind the door. The authors rush in.)
Narrator: hello, where's- (notices Tracey and Darth Gary on the floor) oh.
The Crimson Lugia: oh well. What do we do now?
Corrector9Yui: maybe that should get your attention. (Points to a door marked 'treasury')
Pyrovulpix: ok. (Torches the door open)
(The authors stare at what they see behind the door, not believing their eyes.)
The Crimson Lugia: wow.
Corrector9Yui: I must be in heaven.
(Before their eyes lie the greatest heaps of gold and gems, cookies, Morty collectables and barrels of Jet fuel that mankind has ever seen)
Authors: (bouncing up and down) REJOICE! WE HAVE THE TREASURES OF THE EVIL EMPEROR!
(All the authors and characters charge in and help themselves to the vast hordes of loot)
The Crimson Lugia: lets cart it all home! (Stuffing as many cookies as she can into a huge sack)
All: YEAH!
(In a few moments, the treasury is empty)
Narrator: mission accomplished! We can all go home!
All: yay!
(They all leave. Camera fades out.)
Narrator: and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon, except for-
(The scene changes and we see Tracey Sketchit lying in the smoking ruins)
Tracey: (groaning) Darth Gary!
Darth Gary: you called me, master?
Tracey: yes. Shut up and help me put this brick on that other brick.
(Camera fades out as the pitifully try to rebuild the place)
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^