Author's note: well, seems like here's the 51th episode.sigh.wonder if
script-based fics are counted as chatroom-style fics.I think not.but
well.ESKIMO Jolteon IS MY LIFE! IF I LOSE IT, LIFE WILL HAVE NO MEANING! Oh
well, enough rambling.
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 50:
Narrator: wait! We haven't done the disclaimer yet!
(Camera freezes. I drag Dawn out.)
Dawn: what now? I thought we ended the disclaimer wars!
Narrator: yes, but now I wish to start.the disclaimer treats!
Dawn: huh?
Narrator: yes! For doing the disclaimer, I will give you.this! (Holds up a big cake with rainbow frosting. Much sugar. Not for diabetics.)
Dawn: (eyes grow wide) ooohhh. (reaches out, then hesitates)
Narrator: it's fat free, you know.
Dawn: oooohhh! (Grabs cake and starts stuffing her face with it)
Narrator: now will you do the disclaimer?
Dawn: (mouth full of cake) mmmmmffff. Mf mf mf. Mmmmmmm.
Narrator: all right.(sighs) I don't own pokemon, nor do I own any characters not created by me. I do own this fic, though.
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 51:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon reading the newspaper.)
Jolteon: first it was watching TV, now it's reading the newspaper! Don't you have any imagination?
Narrator: shut up. If I didn't have any imagination you wouldn't exist, and the world wouldn't have such a thing as Eskimo Jolteon.
(Jolteon grumbles)
Narrator: quite some distance away.
(The scene changes to the Lavender Radio Tower. We see the Director sitting in a chair in front of some sort of screen.)
Director: what happen?
Employee #1: someone set us up the tower.
Employee #2: we get signal.
Director: what?
Employee #2: main screen turn on.
(Tracey's image appears on the screen)
Director: it's you!
Tracey: how are you gentlemen. All your fudge are belong to us. You are on the way to boredom.
Director: (burying face in hands) what you say?
Tracey: you have no chance to be hyper make your time. Ha ha ha ha.
Director: oh no! we have to tell the world about this horror!
Employee #1: I'll go get the stuff ready. (Walks off)
Narrator: and so.
(The scene changes back to Jolteon in his igloo. Sitting down with him are Umbreon and Flareon.)
TV: and now for a special report. Tracey has taken over the World Fudge Organization and is blackmailing the world for ten million pokebucks for the continued supply of fudge to the population of the pokemon world. And now.
Flareon: what? No fudge? I need it to stay sane!
Umbreon: yea, after the psychiatrist put you on it after that communism thing.
Jolteon: when will that Tracey ever learn?
Umbreon: well, seems like we have to stop the Evil Tracey!
All: HELL YEAH!
(They run off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to the authors in the FF.net lounge. Mini-TCL is writing out another episode of All In A Day's Insanity by hopping around on the keyboard, while C9Y is reading "taking care of a baby Lugia")
Pyrovulpix: (watching Mini-TCL hop around) well, at least we know she hasn't lost her brain power.
Flower Powerer: (tickling mini-TCL's chin) yea.
Sal: so, found any way to restore TCL back to her original form?
Narrator: well, I thought about Milanos, but after seeing what they did to Koga, I surmised that all they'd do would be to make her a big baby.
Sal: a simple 'no' would be enough.
(Mini-TCL finishes hopping around on the keyboard and tries to open a pack of cookies as large as herself)
C9Y: hey, this is interesting. Baby Lugia should eat a balanced diet of fish and whatever yucky seafood you can find. Only very occasionally let your baby Lugia eat anything sweet, and never let it eat cookies. (Looks up and notices Mini-TCL trying to open the bag of cookies) hey, don't eat that! (Takes it away)
Mini-TCL: squeak? (Tears start to well up in her eyes)
Narrator: OH NO! EVERYONE HIT THE DECK! (Throws self down onto floor and covers ears)
(Everyone else does the same)
Mini-TCL: squeak.(bursts into tears and emits a horrifying loud, high- pitched wail. The room starts to vibrate and everything made of glass spontaneously shatters into millions of tiny fragments)
Flower Powerer: (hands tightly fixed to ears) C9Y! Just give her the cookies, for the love of Mew!
C9Y: (seemingly oblivious to the noise) ok.(rips open the pack and gives a cookies to mini-TCL, whom immediately stops crying.)
Narrator: (taking paws off ears) whew.and back to our heroes.
(The scene changes back to our heroes, whom are now outside the World Fudge Organization building.)
Jolteon: are you sure this is the place?
Umbreon: well, if this map isn't defective.
Flareon: (points up at signboard) well, the sign says so.
Jolteon: all right. So we go in and stop Tracey from taking over the world's supply of fudge. Is that the plan?
Umbreon: well, yes.
Jolteon: all right.let's go in.
(They walk in. There is a signboard)
Flareon: (reading signboard) to stop the Evil Tracey and Darth Gary from taking over the world's supply of fudge, go this way.
Jolteon: all right.
(They follow the signs, and eventually come to a large room with transparent walls.)
Umbreon: that's odd, I don't see Tracey anywhere.
(Suddenly, the doors at either end of the room slam shut. Tracey and Darth Gary appear at the other end of the glass wall.)
Darth Gary: your plan has worked most excellently, Master.
Tracey: AHAHAHA!!!! FOOLS! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME? PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM! AHAHAHA!!!!!
(Molten fudge starts pouring into the room in which our heroes are trapped in)
Jolteon: (feeling the sticky fudge cling to his ankles) Great. Just what we needed.
Tracey: TOMORROW EVERYONE SHALL BE EATING EEVEELUTION-FLAVORED FUDGE! AHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
(Tracey and Darth Gary walk out)
Umbreon: now what do we do? (Runs around in the knee-deep fudge)
Jolteon: Flareon, have you still got those extra-strong fudge pills the Doc gave you?
Flareon: yea. Why?
Jolteon: hand me them.
Flareon: all right.(Hands Jolteon the pills)
Jolteon: I hope this works.(carefully unscrews the pill, releasing a small blob of fudge. The blob of fudge hops over to the wall extends a fist, and smashes a hole in the wall.)
Flareon: (staring) the Doc wasn't kidding when he said the fudge was extra- strong.
Jolteon: come on, let's go after those two.(Runs off, dragging the still freaked-out Umbreon behind him)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Tracey and Darth Gary as they walk around the World Fudge Organization building)
Tracey: finally! I have gotten rid of those pesky Eeveelutions! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Darth Gary: do you hear something, Master?
Tracey: I think I hear it too.
(They turn around to see a huge wave of Fudge swamp over them and wash them away)
Narrator: and back to our heroes.
(The scene changes back to our heroes in the WFO building)
Flareon: well, we've looked all around, and those two are nowhere to be found.
Umbreon: can we go home now?
Jolteon: guess so.
(They walk off)
Narrator: and so ends another episode of Eskimo Jolteon, except for-
(The scene changes to Dawn in wherever her weighing-scale is kept.)
Dawn: all right, you know you gotta do this.(takes a deep breath and steps on scale)
(Slow-motion as the dial spins)
Dawn: AAAAAAAAA!!!!! I GAINED TEN POUNDS!!!!! (A/N: for your info, the average Espeon weighs about 57 pounds)
(Dawn runs to the kitchen, where she takes the empty cake box and reads the label)
Dawn: saturated fat: 80%. Unsaturated fat: 20%. HE LIED!!!!!! THE CAKE I'SNT FAT FREE!!!!!! (Runs off Wailing)
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 50:
Narrator: wait! We haven't done the disclaimer yet!
(Camera freezes. I drag Dawn out.)
Dawn: what now? I thought we ended the disclaimer wars!
Narrator: yes, but now I wish to start.the disclaimer treats!
Dawn: huh?
Narrator: yes! For doing the disclaimer, I will give you.this! (Holds up a big cake with rainbow frosting. Much sugar. Not for diabetics.)
Dawn: (eyes grow wide) ooohhh. (reaches out, then hesitates)
Narrator: it's fat free, you know.
Dawn: oooohhh! (Grabs cake and starts stuffing her face with it)
Narrator: now will you do the disclaimer?
Dawn: (mouth full of cake) mmmmmffff. Mf mf mf. Mmmmmmm.
Narrator: all right.(sighs) I don't own pokemon, nor do I own any characters not created by me. I do own this fic, though.
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 51:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon reading the newspaper.)
Jolteon: first it was watching TV, now it's reading the newspaper! Don't you have any imagination?
Narrator: shut up. If I didn't have any imagination you wouldn't exist, and the world wouldn't have such a thing as Eskimo Jolteon.
(Jolteon grumbles)
Narrator: quite some distance away.
(The scene changes to the Lavender Radio Tower. We see the Director sitting in a chair in front of some sort of screen.)
Director: what happen?
Employee #1: someone set us up the tower.
Employee #2: we get signal.
Director: what?
Employee #2: main screen turn on.
(Tracey's image appears on the screen)
Director: it's you!
Tracey: how are you gentlemen. All your fudge are belong to us. You are on the way to boredom.
Director: (burying face in hands) what you say?
Tracey: you have no chance to be hyper make your time. Ha ha ha ha.
Director: oh no! we have to tell the world about this horror!
Employee #1: I'll go get the stuff ready. (Walks off)
Narrator: and so.
(The scene changes back to Jolteon in his igloo. Sitting down with him are Umbreon and Flareon.)
TV: and now for a special report. Tracey has taken over the World Fudge Organization and is blackmailing the world for ten million pokebucks for the continued supply of fudge to the population of the pokemon world. And now.
Flareon: what? No fudge? I need it to stay sane!
Umbreon: yea, after the psychiatrist put you on it after that communism thing.
Jolteon: when will that Tracey ever learn?
Umbreon: well, seems like we have to stop the Evil Tracey!
All: HELL YEAH!
(They run off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to the authors in the FF.net lounge. Mini-TCL is writing out another episode of All In A Day's Insanity by hopping around on the keyboard, while C9Y is reading "taking care of a baby Lugia")
Pyrovulpix: (watching Mini-TCL hop around) well, at least we know she hasn't lost her brain power.
Flower Powerer: (tickling mini-TCL's chin) yea.
Sal: so, found any way to restore TCL back to her original form?
Narrator: well, I thought about Milanos, but after seeing what they did to Koga, I surmised that all they'd do would be to make her a big baby.
Sal: a simple 'no' would be enough.
(Mini-TCL finishes hopping around on the keyboard and tries to open a pack of cookies as large as herself)
C9Y: hey, this is interesting. Baby Lugia should eat a balanced diet of fish and whatever yucky seafood you can find. Only very occasionally let your baby Lugia eat anything sweet, and never let it eat cookies. (Looks up and notices Mini-TCL trying to open the bag of cookies) hey, don't eat that! (Takes it away)
Mini-TCL: squeak? (Tears start to well up in her eyes)
Narrator: OH NO! EVERYONE HIT THE DECK! (Throws self down onto floor and covers ears)
(Everyone else does the same)
Mini-TCL: squeak.(bursts into tears and emits a horrifying loud, high- pitched wail. The room starts to vibrate and everything made of glass spontaneously shatters into millions of tiny fragments)
Flower Powerer: (hands tightly fixed to ears) C9Y! Just give her the cookies, for the love of Mew!
C9Y: (seemingly oblivious to the noise) ok.(rips open the pack and gives a cookies to mini-TCL, whom immediately stops crying.)
Narrator: (taking paws off ears) whew.and back to our heroes.
(The scene changes back to our heroes, whom are now outside the World Fudge Organization building.)
Jolteon: are you sure this is the place?
Umbreon: well, if this map isn't defective.
Flareon: (points up at signboard) well, the sign says so.
Jolteon: all right. So we go in and stop Tracey from taking over the world's supply of fudge. Is that the plan?
Umbreon: well, yes.
Jolteon: all right.let's go in.
(They walk in. There is a signboard)
Flareon: (reading signboard) to stop the Evil Tracey and Darth Gary from taking over the world's supply of fudge, go this way.
Jolteon: all right.
(They follow the signs, and eventually come to a large room with transparent walls.)
Umbreon: that's odd, I don't see Tracey anywhere.
(Suddenly, the doors at either end of the room slam shut. Tracey and Darth Gary appear at the other end of the glass wall.)
Darth Gary: your plan has worked most excellently, Master.
Tracey: AHAHAHA!!!! FOOLS! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME? PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM! AHAHAHA!!!!!
(Molten fudge starts pouring into the room in which our heroes are trapped in)
Jolteon: (feeling the sticky fudge cling to his ankles) Great. Just what we needed.
Tracey: TOMORROW EVERYONE SHALL BE EATING EEVEELUTION-FLAVORED FUDGE! AHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
(Tracey and Darth Gary walk out)
Umbreon: now what do we do? (Runs around in the knee-deep fudge)
Jolteon: Flareon, have you still got those extra-strong fudge pills the Doc gave you?
Flareon: yea. Why?
Jolteon: hand me them.
Flareon: all right.(Hands Jolteon the pills)
Jolteon: I hope this works.(carefully unscrews the pill, releasing a small blob of fudge. The blob of fudge hops over to the wall extends a fist, and smashes a hole in the wall.)
Flareon: (staring) the Doc wasn't kidding when he said the fudge was extra- strong.
Jolteon: come on, let's go after those two.(Runs off, dragging the still freaked-out Umbreon behind him)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Tracey and Darth Gary as they walk around the World Fudge Organization building)
Tracey: finally! I have gotten rid of those pesky Eeveelutions! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Darth Gary: do you hear something, Master?
Tracey: I think I hear it too.
(They turn around to see a huge wave of Fudge swamp over them and wash them away)
Narrator: and back to our heroes.
(The scene changes back to our heroes in the WFO building)
Flareon: well, we've looked all around, and those two are nowhere to be found.
Umbreon: can we go home now?
Jolteon: guess so.
(They walk off)
Narrator: and so ends another episode of Eskimo Jolteon, except for-
(The scene changes to Dawn in wherever her weighing-scale is kept.)
Dawn: all right, you know you gotta do this.(takes a deep breath and steps on scale)
(Slow-motion as the dial spins)
Dawn: AAAAAAAAA!!!!! I GAINED TEN POUNDS!!!!! (A/N: for your info, the average Espeon weighs about 57 pounds)
(Dawn runs to the kitchen, where she takes the empty cake box and reads the label)
Dawn: saturated fat: 80%. Unsaturated fat: 20%. HE LIED!!!!!! THE CAKE I'SNT FAT FREE!!!!!! (Runs off Wailing)
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^