Author's note: NOOOOO!!!!! MY FINALS START NEXT TUESDAY!!!!! WAAAAA!!!!!
So.what else is there to say.I'm on IPGS! Yay! ^_^ all right, on with the
story! ^_^ (Btw: I don't mind people stealing my intro, I actually got it
from "Wings" by Terry Pratchett.)
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 53:
Narrator: stupid fool! How many times do I have to say that you should never start the fic without doing the disclaimer first?
(Camera freezes)
Narrator: all right.now to get Dawn down.(takes out Espeon magnet and points it at the sky)
(Dawn comes hurtling down towards the magnet at a god fraction of the speed of light)
Dawn: (dusting herself off) all right, you want me to do the disclaimer again, right?
Narrator: yes. Go to it, and I'll lend you my evil binoculars that will allow you to see evil things that will seriously corrupt your mind or make it explode if it is already corrupted.
Dawn: um.
Narrator: just say it.
Dawn: Lccorp2 does not own pokemon, nor does he own any other characters not created by him. However, he owns this fic and he also owns his evil binoculars that will allow you to see evil things that will seriously corrupt your mind or make it explode if it is already corrupted.
Narrator: thank you. (Hands her binoculars)
Dawn: wheeee! (Runs off)
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 53:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon sitting on the couch doing nothing.)
Narrator: as we can see, Jolteon is very bored.
Jolteon: thank you for stating the obvious.
Narrator: shut up.
(Suddenly, Umbreon comes in)
Umbreon: hey, want to go somewhere?
Jolteon: well, I don't mind.
Umbreon: good! (Holds up poster)
Jolteon: (reading poster) visit the sunny, sandy tropical Isle Defino?
Umbreon: well, the travel agency was doing an advertising spree.
Jolteon: all right, let's go.
(They walk out)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to the FF.net author's lounge. Everyone is feeding Mini- TCL)
Flower Powerer: has anyone got any more food?
Pyrovulpix: nope, we all ran out.
Pinkdragonflame: then what shall we do with her?
Narrator: I know!
Everyone else: what?
Narrator: go and get everything you don't need! She won't know the difference anyway, she's just a baby!
All: yay! (Runs off to get stuff)
Flower Powerer: (coming back with a huge bundle of paper) now you can eat my homework.
Mini-TCL: fud! (Swallows all the homework)
Tsunami Shadow: (coming back with a pail full of yuck) come on, open wide!
(Mini-TCL swallows all the yuck)
Flower Powerer: where did you get THAT from?
Tsunami Shadow: my mom's compost heap. Why?
Flower Powerer: 0_o;
Pyrovulpix: (coming back with a metal bucket of lava) hope you like this.
(Mini-TCL drinks all the lava and squeals happily)
(Mewchu11 comes in, dragging Mewchu4 behind him)
Mewchu4: (struggling desperately) no no no no no no no no!
Mewchu11: shut up. (Stuffs Mewchu4 down Mini-TCL's gullet)
(Mini-TCL burps happily)
Pinkdragonflame: give way! (Drives a forklift full of Kit-Kat bars into the room)
Mini-TCL: coco bar! (Hops over and attacks the Kit-Kat bars)
Narrator: (returning with a bottle of chlorinated bleach) she should like this.
(Just as Mini-TCL finishes the bottle of bleach, C9Y comes in)
C9Y: (surveying the scene) NOOOO!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN FEEDING HER?!
(Suddenly, Mini-TCL hiccups)
(Everyone stares)
(Mini-TCL hiccups again)
(Some of the authors take cover behind the furniture)
(Three little squeaks come out of Mini-TCL's mouth, and she explodes.)
C9Y: (charred) now look at what you've done!
Narrator: well, seems like we have to use our author powers now.(rolls up sleeves)
(We set to work rebuilding TCL)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes back to our heroes, whom are at the docks of Isle Defino.)
Jolteon: (looking around) this doesn't seem like the place in the poster.
Umbreon: (looking around) yea.
(Camera moves around to show puddles of goo and graffiti everywhere.)
Jolteon: that's it. I'm gonna sue the travel agency.
Umbreon: and where are you going to find a lawyer?
Jolteon: um.
(Suddenly, the islanders turn up)
Islander #1: hey! It's the guy who's been spreading all the yuck over our island!
Islander #2: let's go teach him a lesson!
Jolteon: huh? What? I didn't spread all that gunk, I just came here!
(The islanders ignore him and form a mob.)
Umbreon: this does NOT look good.
Jolteon: uh-huh.
(The mob descends on them. General sounds of fighting are heard.)
Narrator: due to the excessive violence, this segment cannot be shown. Please wait for this scene to end.
(The scene changes to the courthouse. We see Jolteon on trial.)
Judge: and for defiling our beautiful island, I sentence you to-DEATH!
Jury: yay!
(Some guy comes up and whispers into the Judge's ear)
Judge: all right, that sentence was for the guy with the annoying voice who just whispered into my ear.
(Two cops appear and drag the guy into an electric chair)
Judge: and for defiling our beautiful island, I sentence you to clean up all the crap with only this freakish machine!
Jury: aww.
(The Judge hands Jolteon the FLUDD)
FLUDD: hello. I am FLUDD. I hope to be of service.
Jolteon: wow! This machine talks!
FLUDD: powering up.
Umbreon: I don't feel very comfortable with a talking machine.
FLUDD: power up complete. Scanning users.User 1 identified as Jolteon. (Shudders in fear) User 2 identified as Umbreon. Conclusion: someone please destroy me now, for the love of Mew!
(Jolteon puts FLUDD on)
FLUDD: NOOOOO!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!
(Our heroes walk off)
Narrator: and so.
(The scene changes to outside. We see our heroes standing around.)
Umbreon: all right, now we have to clean up the stuff.
(Jolteon ignores him)
Umbreon: Jolteon? (Turns around to see Jolteon raise a goo-covered finger to his mouth) AAAAA!
Jolteon: (sucking happily on finger) yummy! Cotton candy!
FLUDD: data analysis confirms that Jolteon is an idiot.
Umbreon: um.I think you're supposed to clean that stuff up, not eat it.
Jolteon: aw.
FLUDD: every moment I spend on this guy is pure agony.
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon, except for-
(The scene changes to Dawn, who is looking out of a high-rise window with the evil binoculars that will allow you to see evil things that will seriously corrupt your mind or make it explode if it is already corrupted.)
Dawn: (noticing the camera) hey, what're YOU looking at? You can have your turn later! (Smashes camera lens)
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 53:
Narrator: stupid fool! How many times do I have to say that you should never start the fic without doing the disclaimer first?
(Camera freezes)
Narrator: all right.now to get Dawn down.(takes out Espeon magnet and points it at the sky)
(Dawn comes hurtling down towards the magnet at a god fraction of the speed of light)
Dawn: (dusting herself off) all right, you want me to do the disclaimer again, right?
Narrator: yes. Go to it, and I'll lend you my evil binoculars that will allow you to see evil things that will seriously corrupt your mind or make it explode if it is already corrupted.
Dawn: um.
Narrator: just say it.
Dawn: Lccorp2 does not own pokemon, nor does he own any other characters not created by him. However, he owns this fic and he also owns his evil binoculars that will allow you to see evil things that will seriously corrupt your mind or make it explode if it is already corrupted.
Narrator: thank you. (Hands her binoculars)
Dawn: wheeee! (Runs off)
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 53:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon sitting on the couch doing nothing.)
Narrator: as we can see, Jolteon is very bored.
Jolteon: thank you for stating the obvious.
Narrator: shut up.
(Suddenly, Umbreon comes in)
Umbreon: hey, want to go somewhere?
Jolteon: well, I don't mind.
Umbreon: good! (Holds up poster)
Jolteon: (reading poster) visit the sunny, sandy tropical Isle Defino?
Umbreon: well, the travel agency was doing an advertising spree.
Jolteon: all right, let's go.
(They walk out)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to the FF.net author's lounge. Everyone is feeding Mini- TCL)
Flower Powerer: has anyone got any more food?
Pyrovulpix: nope, we all ran out.
Pinkdragonflame: then what shall we do with her?
Narrator: I know!
Everyone else: what?
Narrator: go and get everything you don't need! She won't know the difference anyway, she's just a baby!
All: yay! (Runs off to get stuff)
Flower Powerer: (coming back with a huge bundle of paper) now you can eat my homework.
Mini-TCL: fud! (Swallows all the homework)
Tsunami Shadow: (coming back with a pail full of yuck) come on, open wide!
(Mini-TCL swallows all the yuck)
Flower Powerer: where did you get THAT from?
Tsunami Shadow: my mom's compost heap. Why?
Flower Powerer: 0_o;
Pyrovulpix: (coming back with a metal bucket of lava) hope you like this.
(Mini-TCL drinks all the lava and squeals happily)
(Mewchu11 comes in, dragging Mewchu4 behind him)
Mewchu4: (struggling desperately) no no no no no no no no!
Mewchu11: shut up. (Stuffs Mewchu4 down Mini-TCL's gullet)
(Mini-TCL burps happily)
Pinkdragonflame: give way! (Drives a forklift full of Kit-Kat bars into the room)
Mini-TCL: coco bar! (Hops over and attacks the Kit-Kat bars)
Narrator: (returning with a bottle of chlorinated bleach) she should like this.
(Just as Mini-TCL finishes the bottle of bleach, C9Y comes in)
C9Y: (surveying the scene) NOOOO!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN FEEDING HER?!
(Suddenly, Mini-TCL hiccups)
(Everyone stares)
(Mini-TCL hiccups again)
(Some of the authors take cover behind the furniture)
(Three little squeaks come out of Mini-TCL's mouth, and she explodes.)
C9Y: (charred) now look at what you've done!
Narrator: well, seems like we have to use our author powers now.(rolls up sleeves)
(We set to work rebuilding TCL)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes back to our heroes, whom are at the docks of Isle Defino.)
Jolteon: (looking around) this doesn't seem like the place in the poster.
Umbreon: (looking around) yea.
(Camera moves around to show puddles of goo and graffiti everywhere.)
Jolteon: that's it. I'm gonna sue the travel agency.
Umbreon: and where are you going to find a lawyer?
Jolteon: um.
(Suddenly, the islanders turn up)
Islander #1: hey! It's the guy who's been spreading all the yuck over our island!
Islander #2: let's go teach him a lesson!
Jolteon: huh? What? I didn't spread all that gunk, I just came here!
(The islanders ignore him and form a mob.)
Umbreon: this does NOT look good.
Jolteon: uh-huh.
(The mob descends on them. General sounds of fighting are heard.)
Narrator: due to the excessive violence, this segment cannot be shown. Please wait for this scene to end.
(The scene changes to the courthouse. We see Jolteon on trial.)
Judge: and for defiling our beautiful island, I sentence you to-DEATH!
Jury: yay!
(Some guy comes up and whispers into the Judge's ear)
Judge: all right, that sentence was for the guy with the annoying voice who just whispered into my ear.
(Two cops appear and drag the guy into an electric chair)
Judge: and for defiling our beautiful island, I sentence you to clean up all the crap with only this freakish machine!
Jury: aww.
(The Judge hands Jolteon the FLUDD)
FLUDD: hello. I am FLUDD. I hope to be of service.
Jolteon: wow! This machine talks!
FLUDD: powering up.
Umbreon: I don't feel very comfortable with a talking machine.
FLUDD: power up complete. Scanning users.User 1 identified as Jolteon. (Shudders in fear) User 2 identified as Umbreon. Conclusion: someone please destroy me now, for the love of Mew!
(Jolteon puts FLUDD on)
FLUDD: NOOOOO!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!
(Our heroes walk off)
Narrator: and so.
(The scene changes to outside. We see our heroes standing around.)
Umbreon: all right, now we have to clean up the stuff.
(Jolteon ignores him)
Umbreon: Jolteon? (Turns around to see Jolteon raise a goo-covered finger to his mouth) AAAAA!
Jolteon: (sucking happily on finger) yummy! Cotton candy!
FLUDD: data analysis confirms that Jolteon is an idiot.
Umbreon: um.I think you're supposed to clean that stuff up, not eat it.
Jolteon: aw.
FLUDD: every moment I spend on this guy is pure agony.
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon, except for-
(The scene changes to Dawn, who is looking out of a high-rise window with the evil binoculars that will allow you to see evil things that will seriously corrupt your mind or make it explode if it is already corrupted.)
Dawn: (noticing the camera) hey, what're YOU looking at? You can have your turn later! (Smashes camera lens)
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^