Link, the Idiot of Time
by LiLZelda
~~~~~
LiLZelda: YEA!!! SCENE TWO!!! (throws confetti in the air)
Navi: MORE CHARATER BASHING!!!! WHOOHOO!!!!
LiLZelda: MORE ELEPHATS!!!
Reviewers: BOO!!!
LiLZelda: SHUT UP MINORS!!!!!!!!
~~~~~
~SCENE TWO~ The forty percent discount… and stuff
Link: hmmmmm…
Navi: whatcha thinking about Link
Link: stuff
Navi: like?
Link: like… stuff
Navi: oh helleck you're dumb aren't you?
Link: duhhhhhh… I think nots…duhhhhhhhh
Navi: (shakes head) so anyways Link ya need to collect forty rupees
Link: why
Navi: you know why we already discussed this!!!!!!
Link: frissledorf (runs away)
Navi: uh oh I sense a writers block scene coming
(Link runs to the house where the Kokiri is trying to pick up the rocks)
Rock grabbing Kokiri: hi ya Link (trys to pick up rock) holy cow this thing is heavy…
Link: then how come I can pick it up? (picks up rock)
Rock grabbing Kokiri: oh frissledorf you
Link: OH FRICK!!!!! WHAT IS IT WITH MY WORD?!!!!!!!!!!!! DDDDDDDDIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!! (bashes Kokiri on the head)
Navi: (finally finds Link) only two mintues into the scene and already he's killing off charaters… oh smecklepoo…
Link: hi Navi!!!
Navi: oh frissledorf
Link: what was that minor?!!!
Navi: what
Link: huh
Navi: huh
Link: what
(a elephant falls from the sky)
Link and Navi: HUH
Elephant: (sounds like a hobo…or hillbilly…in my opion they both sound very similar) Hi ya'll *hic* (takes and swallows a gallon jug of…something) how ya'll doing *hic, hiccup*
Navi: well mister elephant for the sake of the readers… and the author… but mostly for the readers I'm going to ask you what are you drinking so… WHAT THE HELLECK ARE YOU DRINKING?!!!!!
Elephant: well ya see minor… I'm drinkin ten gallons of pure *hic* cool *hic* achohal
Navi: HOLY SHAMOLY!!!!
Link: cool
Navi: for the love of pickle moose he's must be drunk as…as the author!!!!
LiLZelda: naw uh… *hic* (drinks beer) *hic* (passes out)
Navi: -_-
Link: could I have some?
Elephant: sorry kid I'm afraid you're not old enough (a five year old Kokiri comes towards the elephant)
Five year old Kokiri: hey mister I'm thisty could I have some alcihol?
Elephant: why sure *hic* youngin!!! Here take the whole *hic* thing (hand the whole thing to the little Kokiri)
Five year old Kokiri: thaks mister!!!!! ^_^ (takes the ten gallon jug…the little gullible now half drunk kid goes off skipping and drinking it)
Navi: …
Elephant: well *hic* bye ya'll!!!!!
Link: darn it!!!!!!
Navi: what?
Link: I forgot
Navi: forgot what?
Link: uh… something…
Navi: this fic is making no sense
Link: What are you talking about it's making complete sense Navi!!
(suddenly a band of moose march by)
Navi: (sarcastically) oh well then I rest my case.
Link: good
(they walk in the shop)
Clerk: (says this fast) wouldyoulikeashieldwouldyoulikedekuseedswellyacan'thavethemcauseyou'retooyoungHAHA
Link: uh…no…I'll think I'll have a Milky way (takes out a candy bar from his pocket and eats it) yum
Navi: we would like a shield
Link: and a Milky Way
Navi: shield
Link: milky way
Navi: shield
Link: milky way
Navi: mars bar
Link: (pschyo mode) DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MIONR!!!!!!!!!!!!! (bashes Navi on the head with a hammer)
Navi: (dies…for now)
Link: Oooohhhhh author
LiLZelda: (eats sugar, smokes) yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssss? (eats sugar)
Link: uh… could you make up a slightly deranged partner for me?
LiLZelda: sure you have two options one- me (smokes), ooooorrrrrr two- Navi (eats sugar)
Link: (automatically) Navi
LiLZelda: WISH GRANTED ALADIN!!!! (Navi appears)
Link: oh author
LiLZelda: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssss? (eats sugar, smokes)
Link: what's in that pot your smoking?
LiLZelda: sugar!! bye now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (disappears with a poof)
Navi: so where were we?
Link: at the Kokiri shop
Navi: what
Link: huh
Clerk: (says fast) soyouwanttheshieldyouwantitwantitwantit? (Tranlation: *ahem soyouwanttheshieldyuowantitwantitwantit? Oh heck…here you freeloaders… so you want the shield you want it want it want it? HAPPY!!!!!!!!! …geez)
Link: I WANT THE SHIELD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(everyone stares at him)
Clerk: (sounds like a doorsales man) well sonny your in luck today…
Link: (sounds like a surprised costumer) I AM?
Clerk: yes you are!!!!!!!! We have a forty percent discount on this shield today!!!!!!!!!! (ballons and confetti fall down from the ceiling)
(outside the store)
Kokiri 1: what the mecleseem happened to him?
Kokiri 2: mecleseem?
Kokiri 1: like smecklepoo only more hopeydope
Kokiri 2: what the frick is wrong with you?
Kokiri 1: (sticks tougue out)
Kokiri 2: (rolls eyes) you're such a elephantmonkey Al…
(inside the store)
(Link and the Clerk and Navi are dancing… suddenly ANNA NICOLE APPEARS?!!!!!!)
Anna Nicloe: hi ya!!!!!!! (starts pole dancing)
(they all stop dancing…except for Anna Nicole)
Link: AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! MY EYES MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!
Navi: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! THE IMAGES THE IMAGES!!!!!!
Clerk: WHOOHOO alright ba-- I mean… OHHHH!!!!! MY EYES ARE BURNINGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
Link: (while covering his eyes) DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! (he grabs the pole with anna Nicole still dancing on it… he throws goes outside and throws the pole allele tttthhhhheeee wwwwwwaaaayyy over the Kokiri Forest..Anna Nicole is still pole dancing while he throws it)
Anna Nicole: IIIIIIII'LLLLLL BBBBBBBEEEEE BBBBBBBAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOORRRRR MMMMMYYYYY DRREEEESSSSSMMAKKKERRRR ISN'T GAYYYYYY… ANNNNNDDDDD HHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEE IISSSSSSS…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Link: those images will scar me for the rest of my life… and she's after me now too
Navi: well at least you got someone young after you…that 99 year old holywood wanna- be is still after me *shivers*
Link: frissledorf
Navi: what
Link: I forgot…
Navi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
~~~END OF CHAPTER~~~
LiLZelda: soooooooooooooooo how did ya like it?
Anna Nicole and Indianna Jones fans: DIE BEE- ACTH!!!!!!
LiLZelda: how lovely…
Navi: frissledorf
LiLZelda: I know what you mean Navi… anyways sone things in the next chapter- Link gets his sheild and beats Mido to a pulp!
Link fans: YEA!!!!
Mido fans: DIE BEE- ACTH!!!!
LiLZelda: critics…I hate those lopaloops
Navi: *writes lopaloop down on a notepad* THANX LILZELDA!!! *flies away*
LiLZelda: AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!! BEE- ACTH!!!
~~~~~~~~~
by LiLZelda
~~~~~
LiLZelda: YEA!!! SCENE TWO!!! (throws confetti in the air)
Navi: MORE CHARATER BASHING!!!! WHOOHOO!!!!
LiLZelda: MORE ELEPHATS!!!
Reviewers: BOO!!!
LiLZelda: SHUT UP MINORS!!!!!!!!
~~~~~
~SCENE TWO~ The forty percent discount… and stuff
Link: hmmmmm…
Navi: whatcha thinking about Link
Link: stuff
Navi: like?
Link: like… stuff
Navi: oh helleck you're dumb aren't you?
Link: duhhhhhh… I think nots…duhhhhhhhh
Navi: (shakes head) so anyways Link ya need to collect forty rupees
Link: why
Navi: you know why we already discussed this!!!!!!
Link: frissledorf (runs away)
Navi: uh oh I sense a writers block scene coming
(Link runs to the house where the Kokiri is trying to pick up the rocks)
Rock grabbing Kokiri: hi ya Link (trys to pick up rock) holy cow this thing is heavy…
Link: then how come I can pick it up? (picks up rock)
Rock grabbing Kokiri: oh frissledorf you
Link: OH FRICK!!!!! WHAT IS IT WITH MY WORD?!!!!!!!!!!!! DDDDDDDDIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!! (bashes Kokiri on the head)
Navi: (finally finds Link) only two mintues into the scene and already he's killing off charaters… oh smecklepoo…
Link: hi Navi!!!
Navi: oh frissledorf
Link: what was that minor?!!!
Navi: what
Link: huh
Navi: huh
Link: what
(a elephant falls from the sky)
Link and Navi: HUH
Elephant: (sounds like a hobo…or hillbilly…in my opion they both sound very similar) Hi ya'll *hic* (takes and swallows a gallon jug of…something) how ya'll doing *hic, hiccup*
Navi: well mister elephant for the sake of the readers… and the author… but mostly for the readers I'm going to ask you what are you drinking so… WHAT THE HELLECK ARE YOU DRINKING?!!!!!
Elephant: well ya see minor… I'm drinkin ten gallons of pure *hic* cool *hic* achohal
Navi: HOLY SHAMOLY!!!!
Link: cool
Navi: for the love of pickle moose he's must be drunk as…as the author!!!!
LiLZelda: naw uh… *hic* (drinks beer) *hic* (passes out)
Navi: -_-
Link: could I have some?
Elephant: sorry kid I'm afraid you're not old enough (a five year old Kokiri comes towards the elephant)
Five year old Kokiri: hey mister I'm thisty could I have some alcihol?
Elephant: why sure *hic* youngin!!! Here take the whole *hic* thing (hand the whole thing to the little Kokiri)
Five year old Kokiri: thaks mister!!!!! ^_^ (takes the ten gallon jug…the little gullible now half drunk kid goes off skipping and drinking it)
Navi: …
Elephant: well *hic* bye ya'll!!!!!
Link: darn it!!!!!!
Navi: what?
Link: I forgot
Navi: forgot what?
Link: uh… something…
Navi: this fic is making no sense
Link: What are you talking about it's making complete sense Navi!!
(suddenly a band of moose march by)
Navi: (sarcastically) oh well then I rest my case.
Link: good
(they walk in the shop)
Clerk: (says this fast) wouldyoulikeashieldwouldyoulikedekuseedswellyacan'thavethemcauseyou'retooyoungHAHA
Link: uh…no…I'll think I'll have a Milky way (takes out a candy bar from his pocket and eats it) yum
Navi: we would like a shield
Link: and a Milky Way
Navi: shield
Link: milky way
Navi: shield
Link: milky way
Navi: mars bar
Link: (pschyo mode) DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MIONR!!!!!!!!!!!!! (bashes Navi on the head with a hammer)
Navi: (dies…for now)
Link: Oooohhhhh author
LiLZelda: (eats sugar, smokes) yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssss? (eats sugar)
Link: uh… could you make up a slightly deranged partner for me?
LiLZelda: sure you have two options one- me (smokes), ooooorrrrrr two- Navi (eats sugar)
Link: (automatically) Navi
LiLZelda: WISH GRANTED ALADIN!!!! (Navi appears)
Link: oh author
LiLZelda: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssss? (eats sugar, smokes)
Link: what's in that pot your smoking?
LiLZelda: sugar!! bye now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (disappears with a poof)
Navi: so where were we?
Link: at the Kokiri shop
Navi: what
Link: huh
Clerk: (says fast) soyouwanttheshieldyouwantitwantitwantit? (Tranlation: *ahem soyouwanttheshieldyuowantitwantitwantit? Oh heck…here you freeloaders… so you want the shield you want it want it want it? HAPPY!!!!!!!!! …geez)
Link: I WANT THE SHIELD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(everyone stares at him)
Clerk: (sounds like a doorsales man) well sonny your in luck today…
Link: (sounds like a surprised costumer) I AM?
Clerk: yes you are!!!!!!!! We have a forty percent discount on this shield today!!!!!!!!!! (ballons and confetti fall down from the ceiling)
(outside the store)
Kokiri 1: what the mecleseem happened to him?
Kokiri 2: mecleseem?
Kokiri 1: like smecklepoo only more hopeydope
Kokiri 2: what the frick is wrong with you?
Kokiri 1: (sticks tougue out)
Kokiri 2: (rolls eyes) you're such a elephantmonkey Al…
(inside the store)
(Link and the Clerk and Navi are dancing… suddenly ANNA NICOLE APPEARS?!!!!!!)
Anna Nicloe: hi ya!!!!!!! (starts pole dancing)
(they all stop dancing…except for Anna Nicole)
Link: AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! MY EYES MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!
Navi: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! THE IMAGES THE IMAGES!!!!!!
Clerk: WHOOHOO alright ba-- I mean… OHHHH!!!!! MY EYES ARE BURNINGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
Link: (while covering his eyes) DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! (he grabs the pole with anna Nicole still dancing on it… he throws goes outside and throws the pole allele tttthhhhheeee wwwwwwaaaayyy over the Kokiri Forest..Anna Nicole is still pole dancing while he throws it)
Anna Nicole: IIIIIIII'LLLLLL BBBBBBBEEEEE BBBBBBBAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOORRRRR MMMMMYYYYY DRREEEESSSSSMMAKKKERRRR ISN'T GAYYYYYY… ANNNNNDDDDD HHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEE IISSSSSSS…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Link: those images will scar me for the rest of my life… and she's after me now too
Navi: well at least you got someone young after you…that 99 year old holywood wanna- be is still after me *shivers*
Link: frissledorf
Navi: what
Link: I forgot…
Navi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
~~~END OF CHAPTER~~~
LiLZelda: soooooooooooooooo how did ya like it?
Anna Nicole and Indianna Jones fans: DIE BEE- ACTH!!!!!!
LiLZelda: how lovely…
Navi: frissledorf
LiLZelda: I know what you mean Navi… anyways sone things in the next chapter- Link gets his sheild and beats Mido to a pulp!
Link fans: YEA!!!!
Mido fans: DIE BEE- ACTH!!!!
LiLZelda: critics…I hate those lopaloops
Navi: *writes lopaloop down on a notepad* THANX LILZELDA!!! *flies away*
LiLZelda: AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!! BEE- ACTH!!!
~~~~~~~~~