Chapter 4: Be A Man
In The Mean Time:
Duo is practicing to act like a man while her horse Shinigami is looking on in joy.
"Okay, okay, how 'bout this?" asked Duo throwing her voice so it would sound like a man,
" Ahem, excuse me, where do I sign in? Hah, I see you have a sword. I have one too. They're very manly and tough", Duo bites her lip as she mishandles pulling the sword out of the scabbard and it falls to the ground. Shinigami rolls on his back in laughter and Duo throws her shoe and hits Shinigami in the head to making him stop,
"I'm working on it. Who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army." Muttered Duo to herself, pulling on her shoe and looking between the bushes at the camp below, suddenly Shen-long appears as a giant shadow being cast on a rock with flames on either side. While Shen- long's real appearance remains out of sight.
"Did I hear someone ask for a miracle!? Let me hear you say aye!" yelled Shen-long in a Southern Baptist Preacher's voice,
"Ahhhhhh." Screamed Duo running behind a rock and hiding,
"That's close enough." Yelled Shen-long again,
"Ghost." Whispered Duo from behind the rock looking at the shadow,
"Get ready Duo your serpentine salvation is at hand. For I have been sent by your ancestors-" Shen-long paused noticing Cri-Kee making a hand shadow of a dragon on the rock and stamps him down with his foot,
"-- to guide you through your masquerade." And bends down to Cri-Kee whispering handing him a leaf, "C'mon, you're gonna stay you're gonna work" and returns to Duo while Cri-kee waves the leaf towards the fire,
"Heed my word, 'cause if the army finds out that you are a girl, the penalty is death" yelled Shen-long dramatically while big flames shoot up from the rocks,
"Who are you?" asked Duo looking from behind her rock,
"Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls." Yelled Shen-long pointing to himself while Duo smiles big in anticipation of seeing her guardian,
" I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible-"pauses while coming from behind the rocks to show his real size,
"-- Shen-long! Oh hah, hah, pretty hot, huh?" said She-long rubbing his nails against his chest, before Shinigami starts stomping on Shen-long. Duo has to push Shinigami back to stop him.
"Ah, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?" asked Duo bending down to Shen-long, helping him upright,
"Hey, dragon, dragon, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing" said Shen- long while he flips out his tongue to show Duo what he means,
"You're uh..." began Duo not too sure what too say,
"Intimidating? Awe inspiring?" helped Shen-long,
"Tiny." Finished Duo making a hand gesture to denote his smallness of size,
"Of course. I'm travel size for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here -" said Shen-long with a look of disappointment and patting Shinigami on the nose,
"-- would die of fright.' Finished Shen-long while Shinigami tries to bite him. Pointing to the ground and speaking to Shinigami he orders;
"Down Bessy." And turns back to Duo,
"My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance -" he leans in and looking at Duo's chest, "--my eyes can see straight through your armor. " Duo cover her bust with her left arm and slaps Shen-long with the right.
"Ow. All right, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family." Yelled Shen-long angrily and bends down to Cri-kee,
"Make a note of this -" Cri-Kee grabs a leaf and a pen and starts writing, while Shen-long continues loudly and with gusto,
"Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow. Dis-"
"Stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm just nervous. I've never done this before." Said Duo apologising and sliding to her knees.
"Then you're gonna have to trust me. And don't you slap me no more, we clear on that?" demanded Shen-long while Duo nods emphatically.
"All right. Okey dokey, let's get this show on the road. Cri-Kee, get the bags" and starts walking to the camp, talking to Shinigami,
"Let's move it heifer."
************************************
At The Camp Entrance:
"Okay this is it, time to show 'em your man walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up-" commanded Shen-long hiding in Duo's armor poking his head out from her back and pulling Duo's head back, while Duo does as she's told striking a ridiculous pose,
"-- ...and strut 2, 3, break it down, 2, 3 and work it." Duo walks into the camp drawing the attention from the men who see her. Duo walks into a tent and sees a man picking his nose and another man picking out dirt from between his toes with chopsticks.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Asked Shen-long looking happy and content,
"They're disgusting." Exclaimed Duo making a face of disgust and continuing to walk,
"No, they're men. And you're going to have to act just like them, so pay attention." Ordered Shen-long, Duo stops and watched 3 guys looking at a forth guy's Tattoo,
"Look, this tattoo will protect me from harm." Said Soldier Walker showing the dragon tattoo on his chest and belly,
One of the guys seems to think for a moment and then punches Walker in the stomach causing One of the others to laugh. Duo watches in utter amazement at their behaviour while the one who punched Walker kisses his hand.
" I hope you can get your money back." Said the laughing guy,
"I don't think I can do this." Muttered Duo to himself studying the three guys, the one who punched Walker seems to be her height and was wearing a white tunic and his hair in a tight ponytail, the one who was laughing, was a tall skinny guy with dark brown hair hanging in front of one of his eyes, hiding it from view and the one who was looking on with a worried face was a normal build guy with strangely enough blond hair with bangs hanging in front of his eyes.
"It's all attitude. Be tough like this guy here." said Shen-long pointing at Wufei, Duo looks at the guy just as he hocks up a loogie and spits.
"What are you looking at?" demanded Wufei noticing Duo was staring at him,
"Punch him, it's how men say 'hello.'" Suggested Shen-long from behind Duo's back, Duo looks at her fist, then punches Wufei from behind on the shoulder. The force causes Wufei to run into Quatre, the blond soldier,
"Oh Wufei, you made a friend." Said Quatre happily,
"Good, Now slap him on the behind, they like that." Recommended Shen-long again, while Duo slaps Wufei on the behind,
"Wu hoo hooooo. I'm going to hit you so hard it'll make your ancestors dizzy." Yelled Wufei angrily grabbing Duo by the collar,
"Wufei , relax and chant with me. Yaaaaaaa Moouuuu Ahhhhhh Doooou Fuuuu Daaaaa." Said Quatre calmly holding Wufei,
"Ya Mi Ah To Fu Da." Muttered Wufei his anger draining away,
"Feel better?" asked Quatre,
"Yeah. Aaaaa, you ain't worth my time chicken boy" said Wufei, after being released, to Duo while walking away,
"Chicken boy!? Say that to my face ya limp noodle!" yelled Shen-long enraged from behind Duo, who looks shocked at his outburst, Duo sees Wufei's fist coming at her and ducks, while Wufei hits Trowa standing behind her,
"Oh, sorry Trowa. Hey!" apologised Wufei and grabs Duo's foot as she starts to crawl away. Trowa kicks Wufei on the butt causing him to land against Quatre's stomach. Trowa Jump attack Duo, but she ducks and he lands on Wufei who was still lying on top of Quatre,
"You're dead. Oh, there he goes." Yelled Trowa while they fight on top of Quatre. Duo tries to run away but Trowa notices and points towards her. Duo runs into a tent and stops. Wufei, Trowa and Quatre run through the tent. But Wufei stops short as he is about to run into a soldier in a line for food. He looks behind him with concerned eyes as Trowa stops in time. But Quatre bumps into Trowa causing the entire line of soldiers to fall forward and knock over the pot of congee and the cook behind it. The men look to the back of the line and spy Duo who has just emerged from the tent. They angrily start walking towards her. Duo has a look of horror on her face as if trouble is about to brew.
"Hey guys." She tries to calm them down,
**************************
Meanwhile In The General's Tent:
Quinze who was watching everything outside turns away and walks into the tent. General Odin and Heero Yuy are talking in the tent.
"The Huns have struck here, here and here. I will take the main troops up to the Tung Shao Pass and stop Lord Treize before he destroys this village." Motioned General Odin with his pointer to a map of the region;
"Excellent strategy, Sir. I do love surprises, Ha ha, ha, ha." Laughed Quinze,
"You will stay here and train the new recruits. When Quinze believes you're ready, you will join us...Captain." continued General Odin, while he hands a sword to Heero,
"Captain?" asked Heero in wonder,
"Oh, this is an enormous responsibility, General. Uh, perhaps a soldier with more experience-" began Quinze trying to change the generals mind,
"Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques, an impressive military lineage. I believe Heero will do an excellent job." Said General Odin leaning back smugly stroking his chin,
"Oh, I will. I wont let you down. This is, I mean, I...yes sir." Began Heero excitingly and ending in a sombre note remembering his rank,
"Very good then. We'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City." Said General Odin getting up and starts walking out of the tent, turning to Quinze, "I'll expect a full report in three weeks."
"And I wont leave anything out." Said Quinze to Heero smiling wryly,
"Captain Heero Yuy, Hmmm, leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time. Heh, heh, heh, heh." Muttered Heero to himself while tying his sword to his uniform, then walks out of the tent to see the recruits fighting. He looks at his left to see Quinze and General Odin looking on. An injured Walker sees the General and salutes him as he falls to the ground. General Odin simply steps over the Injured walker and mounts his horse.
"Most impressive" muttered Quinze
"Good luck Captain." Said General Odin as he and his mounted troops leave the camp.
"Good luck, Father." Says Heero quietly, to himself before looking at his troops and sighing,
"Day one." Says Quinze smirking, with board and brush in hand ready to write everything down in his report,
"Soldiers!" shouted Heero,
All the Recruits back away revealing Duo and point at her. Duo is crouching in the fetal position on the ground, as they al yell at the same time,
"He started it!"
Heero approaches Duo and looks down over her. Duo looks up, sees Heero over top of her and gets up quickly dusting herself off.
"I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp!" Heero yelled at her,
"Sorry, Uhh, I mean, sorry you had to see that." And with her fist she taps Heero on the shoulder, who raises one eyebrow at her while she continues,
"You know how it is when you get those, uh -" she starts pounding her chest,
"- -manly urges and you just have to kill something-" slaps her hands together and blows at them afterwards because they hurt from the impact and continues rambling,
"-- fix things, uh, cook outdoors."
"What's your name?" demanded Heero,
"Ahh, I, uhhh, I, uh-" stumbled Duo,
"Your commanding officer just asked you a question." Yelled Quinze stepping into Duo's face,
"Uhh, I've got a name. Huh. And it's a boys name too." Said Duo hurriedly thinking up a name,
"Trowa, How 'bout Trowa?" suggested Shenlong from behind Duo
"His name's Trowa." Said Duo to Shenlong motioning with her head to Trowa,
"I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours." Yelled Heero getting impatient,
"Try, uh, ahh, Chu!" said Shenlong quickly,
"Ah Chu." Answered Duo,
"Ah Chu?" said Heero not believing a word of what she says,
"Gesundheit. He He, I kill myself." Laughed Shenlong wiping away a tear from his eye,
"Shenlong!" whispered Duo for him to stop kidding around,
"Shenlong?" asked Heero again,
"No." answered Duo,
"Then what is it!" yelled Heero getting angry,
"Solo! Solo, was my best friend growing up!" suggested Shenlong again,
"It's solo" said Duo with a smile,
"Solo?" asked Heero not quite believing her,
"Of course Solo DID steal my gir-" started Shenlong but Duo reaches back and grabs hold of Shenlong's mouth and holds it together,
"Yes, my name is Solo!" said Duo nodding her head,
"Let me see your conscription notice." Nodded Heero back, taking the notice from Duo after she hand it to him and reads the name,
" Father Maxwell *the* Father Maxwell?" said Heero wide eyed,
"I didn't know Father Maxwell had a son." Said Quinze in wonder,
"Um, he...doesn't talk about me much." Said Duo while she tries to hawk up a loogie and spits but the saliva just runs from her mouth. The recruits starts laughing at her antics.
"I can see why, the boy's an absolute lunatic." Whispered Quinze in Heero's ear,
"Okay gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Solo, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. And tomorrow, the real work begins." Yelled Heero at the recruits, before going back into his tent followed by Quinze. All the recruits growl at Duo, who takes a step backwards.
"You know, we have to work on your people skills." Said Shenlong popping out the front of Duo's armor.
******************************
The Next Morning:
Duo was still sleeping in her tent, who was situated away from all the others, when the sun came up. Already awake Shenlong winds up Cri-Kee's wings and let's go making Cri-kee ring like an alarm clock.
"All right, rise and shine sleeping beauty." Says Shenlong happily while Duo rises and blinks not completely awake yet,
"C'mon hup, hup, hup." Says Shenlong rapping on Duo's head with each syllable, Duo just groans, lies back down and pulls the covers over her head. Not liking her attitude Shenlong pulls the covers off Duo entirely,
"Get your clothes on. Get ready. Got breakfast for ya." Yells Shenlong jumping onto Duo's knee with a bowl of porridge,
"Look, you get porridge, and it's happy to see you." And Shenlong shows her the bowl with two eggs and bacon looking like a smiley face. Cri-Kee pops up out from the bowl of porridge with a smile,
"Hey, get outta there, you're gonna make people sick!" yelled Shenlong and uses his chopsticks to push Cri-Kee out of the porridge and on the floor,
"Am I late?" asked Duo sleepingly,
"No time to talk. Now remember, it's your first day of training so listen to your teacher and no fighting. Play nice with the other kids, unless of course one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butt." Babbled Shenlong while stuffing Duo's mouth full of porridge,
"But I don't wanna kick the other kid's butt." Says Duo with her mouth full,
"Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face" asked Shenlong while Duo looks at him with wide eyes and chipmunk cheeks full of food.
"I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon scare me, girl!" yelled Shenlong,
"Rrrrrrr!" growled Duo after swallowing the food,
"That's what I'm talking about. Now get out there and make me proud". Says Shenlong after tying up Duo's hair, suddenly Shinigami's head appears in the tent as he whinnies and stamps his legs,
"What do you mean the troops just left?" asked Shenlong shocked,
"They what!?" asked Duo surprised, while hurriedly putting on her clothes and jumps out of the tent going off to join the other recruits.
"Wait, you forgot your sword. My little baby off to destroy people" sniffled Shenlong running out from the tent calling after Duo,
**************************
Meanwhile the troops were gathered together near Heero's tent, while Quinze walked up and down carrying his pad and pencil,
"Order people, order!" yelled Quinze,
"I'd like a pan fried noodle." Yelled Walker,
"Oh, oh, sweet and pungent shrimp" added Quatre while Trowa, Wufei and the others laugh,
"Moo goo gai pan" yelled another soldier,
"That's not funny." Said Quinze holding up his head and heading towards his tent, while Duo comes running up to the group,
"Looks like our new friend slept in this morning." says Trowa noticing Duo's arrival as she stops between Trowa and Wufei,
"Hellooo Solo, Are you hungry?" asked Trowa innocently,
"Yeah, 'cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich." Said Wufei angrily grabbing Duo by the shirt collar drawing back his other arm. Duo quickly hides her face with her hands. Trowa looks away, closes his eyes, and puts his fingers in his ears so that he wont hear anything, while Quatre looks on with worry in his eyes, while all the soldiers agree with Wufei;
"Yeah."
"Soldiers!" yells Heero loudly, coming out of his tent, while the soldiers quickly line up. Heero takes off his shirt and grabs a bow and a quiver of arrows. Duo's mouth falls open since she is duly impressed by Heero's physique,
"You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. Anyone who acts otherwise will answer to me." Spoke Heero walking down the line of soldiers.
"Ooooo, tough guy." Mutters Wufei totally not impresses by his words,
"Wufei." Yells Heero while turning around with a knocked arrow pointing towards Wufei, all the recruits take a step back leaving Wufei one step forward. Heero Points the arrow skyward and shoots it into the top of a high pole standing in the middle of the training ground,
"Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow." Says Heero lowering his bow,
"I'll get that arrow pretty boy. And I'll do it with my shirt on." Mutters Wufei to himself bowing to Heero and walking towards the pole. Stopping he looks up and prepares to leap onto that pole, rolling his eyes and sighing when Heero stops him.
"One moment, you seem to be missing something." Began Heero while Quinze brings out two large bronze disks. Heero takes out one disk and holds it high speaking to all the troops,
"This represents discipline --" says Heero and hands the weight to Wufei and when the weight falls to the ground it takes Wufei's arm with it,
"-- and this represents strength" says Heero while handing the other weight to Wufei making him fall to the ground. The troops laugh while Duo looks on concerned.
"You need both to reach the arrow." Ended Heero, motioning for Wufei to start,
Wufei starts climbing up the pole but slips down under the weight. Everyone, including Trowa, Quatre and Duo each take their turn and fall down. Duo rubs her behind as she walks away in front of Heero who sighs in defeat,
"We've got a long way to go." And looks up at the sky for strength.
****************************************
//Let's get down to business--
to defeat the Huns.
Did they send me daughters
when I asked for sons
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
But you can bet
before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you //
Heero takes up a staff and throws up two clay pots and breaks them apart with his staff before they hit the ground, he looks at them while the troops are highly impressed at what he did. Heero reaches back and throws staffs to the soldiers. Wufei intercepts Duo's staff, who looks mad and trips her with it. The Troops start trying themselves failing with a loud,
"Hua"
Trowa puts a cricket down Duo's back causing her to flail erratically. Most soldiers fall when they get hit as Duo moves uncontrollably, trying to get the cricket out. Seeing what's happening Heero does a somersault in the air landing near Duo. But still takes a pole in the stomach, before stopping Duo and taking her staff. He grabs her by the collar while she looks shocked and ruffled up.
//Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within
Once you find your centre
You are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale,
pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a man
out of you!//
Heero steps on a lever throwing up 3 targets which he hits with 3 arrows from one bow. Motioning for the recruits to try, they all fail. Duo gets ready to fire when Shenlong sticks a target on her arrow before she shoots. Duo looks at Shenlong in shock and pauses. Heero looks disdainfully at Duo for her little trick as she cracks a huge smile.
Later Heero balances a bucket of water on his head holding a staff. The recruits fire stones at him which Heero deflect them with the staff, not spilling a drop of water. When Duo tries the bucket of water wobbles on her head. When the recruits throw stones at her the bucket tips over onto her head and she lift it in shame to see Heero look on disappointed.
Standing in a river Heero throws his hand down into it and retrieves a fish. Seeing what he did Duo throws her hand down into the river and retrieves Wufei's foot. Looking behind her she sees Shenlong coming out of the water with a fish in his hand and tries to give it to her.
"I'm never gonna catch my breath" yells Quatre to himself while Wufei runs behind him trough a field of burning arrows, falling down and getting shot in the butt with an arrow yelling
"Say good-bye to those who knew me"
Standing in front of a stone slab, Trowa bows and bangs his head on it breaking his teeth but not the stone muttering;
"Boy I was a fool in school for cutting gym" before falling down,
//(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon //
Heero practices martial arts with Duo and with a punch to the face he knocks her back into a tree with a black eye. Duo could hear Shenlong talking to Cri-kee trying to act as a boxing coach, waving a small towel in front of her and spraying water in her face,
"This guy's got 'em scared to death" while pushing Duo back into the ring hearing her mutter,
"Hope he doesn't see right through me"
Quatre stops as he's hopping across poles protruding from water causing Heero and the recruits to pile into him, hearing him yell at himself in fear,
"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!"
The recruits try to fire the cannons but the Cannon fire misses the target in the middle of an open field. Trowa kicks the support structure out from Duo's cannon causing it to fall. Duo quickly grabs the cannon and it fires high and back towards the camp landing and exploding Quinze's tent Looking up she sees Heero looking over the camp from the hill not looking pleased.
//Time is racing toward us
till the Huns arrive
Heed my every order
and you might survive//
Heero leads his troops laden with poles on their shoulders carrying bags of grain - one on each side and make them march up the mountain. Quinze who is following them on his horse points Heero's eyes back to a struggling Duo who falls to the ground. Cri-Kee and Shenlong try to pick her up but hide when Heero comes up to her. Heero picks up her pole with grain, puts it on top of his and returns to the troops. Duo looks on rejected and tired.
Back at the camp Heero hands the reigns of Shinigami back to Duo saying,
"You're unsuited for the rage of war. So pack up, go home, you're through. How could I make a man out of you?" before walking back into his tent. Duo walks away disappointed. Passing the pole in the middle of the square she looks up determent. She takes the weights, ties them round her wrist and tries to climb the pole again. Duo ties the weights together behind the pole and uses the cloth to help her shimmy up the pole, sliding down several times.
As the sun begins to rise the recruits come out of their tents, seeing Duo climb the pole they begin to cheer her on. She reaches the top just as Heero comes out of his tent, the arrow he shot up onto the pole comes down to his feet. He looks up and sees Duo sitting on top of the pole with a smile. He smiles back knowingly.
//(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon//
Time progresses as do the soldiers:
When practising with their bows and arrows all the troops hit all targets with their arrows correctly.
When they climb up the mountain again Duo races in front of Heero and the recruits this time with the pole and weights on her shoulders. Heero smiling at her antics.
The next time Duo and Heero fight, Duo kicks Heero in the face with a round house. While Heero looks pleased at her work.
When they have to cross the river again Quatre does acrobatics on the poles as the troops follow, Wufei has no more trouble with running trough the arrows and even catches Duo's staff handing it to her with a smile.
Duo catches fish without trouble, when Trowa has no more troubles breaking the block of stone with his head. As for the rest of the troops they all hit bulls eye with their cannons from now on. And at the end of the training they all move in sink with each other when practising with their staffs, jumping in the air with a loud
"Hya"
//(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon//
The Troops are ready for war.
********************************************
So, what do you think?
Review please pretty please
In The Mean Time:
Duo is practicing to act like a man while her horse Shinigami is looking on in joy.
"Okay, okay, how 'bout this?" asked Duo throwing her voice so it would sound like a man,
" Ahem, excuse me, where do I sign in? Hah, I see you have a sword. I have one too. They're very manly and tough", Duo bites her lip as she mishandles pulling the sword out of the scabbard and it falls to the ground. Shinigami rolls on his back in laughter and Duo throws her shoe and hits Shinigami in the head to making him stop,
"I'm working on it. Who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army." Muttered Duo to herself, pulling on her shoe and looking between the bushes at the camp below, suddenly Shen-long appears as a giant shadow being cast on a rock with flames on either side. While Shen- long's real appearance remains out of sight.
"Did I hear someone ask for a miracle!? Let me hear you say aye!" yelled Shen-long in a Southern Baptist Preacher's voice,
"Ahhhhhh." Screamed Duo running behind a rock and hiding,
"That's close enough." Yelled Shen-long again,
"Ghost." Whispered Duo from behind the rock looking at the shadow,
"Get ready Duo your serpentine salvation is at hand. For I have been sent by your ancestors-" Shen-long paused noticing Cri-Kee making a hand shadow of a dragon on the rock and stamps him down with his foot,
"-- to guide you through your masquerade." And bends down to Cri-Kee whispering handing him a leaf, "C'mon, you're gonna stay you're gonna work" and returns to Duo while Cri-kee waves the leaf towards the fire,
"Heed my word, 'cause if the army finds out that you are a girl, the penalty is death" yelled Shen-long dramatically while big flames shoot up from the rocks,
"Who are you?" asked Duo looking from behind her rock,
"Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls." Yelled Shen-long pointing to himself while Duo smiles big in anticipation of seeing her guardian,
" I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible-"pauses while coming from behind the rocks to show his real size,
"-- Shen-long! Oh hah, hah, pretty hot, huh?" said She-long rubbing his nails against his chest, before Shinigami starts stomping on Shen-long. Duo has to push Shinigami back to stop him.
"Ah, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?" asked Duo bending down to Shen-long, helping him upright,
"Hey, dragon, dragon, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing" said Shen- long while he flips out his tongue to show Duo what he means,
"You're uh..." began Duo not too sure what too say,
"Intimidating? Awe inspiring?" helped Shen-long,
"Tiny." Finished Duo making a hand gesture to denote his smallness of size,
"Of course. I'm travel size for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here -" said Shen-long with a look of disappointment and patting Shinigami on the nose,
"-- would die of fright.' Finished Shen-long while Shinigami tries to bite him. Pointing to the ground and speaking to Shinigami he orders;
"Down Bessy." And turns back to Duo,
"My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance -" he leans in and looking at Duo's chest, "--my eyes can see straight through your armor. " Duo cover her bust with her left arm and slaps Shen-long with the right.
"Ow. All right, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family." Yelled Shen-long angrily and bends down to Cri-kee,
"Make a note of this -" Cri-Kee grabs a leaf and a pen and starts writing, while Shen-long continues loudly and with gusto,
"Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow. Dis-"
"Stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm just nervous. I've never done this before." Said Duo apologising and sliding to her knees.
"Then you're gonna have to trust me. And don't you slap me no more, we clear on that?" demanded Shen-long while Duo nods emphatically.
"All right. Okey dokey, let's get this show on the road. Cri-Kee, get the bags" and starts walking to the camp, talking to Shinigami,
"Let's move it heifer."
************************************
At The Camp Entrance:
"Okay this is it, time to show 'em your man walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up-" commanded Shen-long hiding in Duo's armor poking his head out from her back and pulling Duo's head back, while Duo does as she's told striking a ridiculous pose,
"-- ...and strut 2, 3, break it down, 2, 3 and work it." Duo walks into the camp drawing the attention from the men who see her. Duo walks into a tent and sees a man picking his nose and another man picking out dirt from between his toes with chopsticks.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Asked Shen-long looking happy and content,
"They're disgusting." Exclaimed Duo making a face of disgust and continuing to walk,
"No, they're men. And you're going to have to act just like them, so pay attention." Ordered Shen-long, Duo stops and watched 3 guys looking at a forth guy's Tattoo,
"Look, this tattoo will protect me from harm." Said Soldier Walker showing the dragon tattoo on his chest and belly,
One of the guys seems to think for a moment and then punches Walker in the stomach causing One of the others to laugh. Duo watches in utter amazement at their behaviour while the one who punched Walker kisses his hand.
" I hope you can get your money back." Said the laughing guy,
"I don't think I can do this." Muttered Duo to himself studying the three guys, the one who punched Walker seems to be her height and was wearing a white tunic and his hair in a tight ponytail, the one who was laughing, was a tall skinny guy with dark brown hair hanging in front of one of his eyes, hiding it from view and the one who was looking on with a worried face was a normal build guy with strangely enough blond hair with bangs hanging in front of his eyes.
"It's all attitude. Be tough like this guy here." said Shen-long pointing at Wufei, Duo looks at the guy just as he hocks up a loogie and spits.
"What are you looking at?" demanded Wufei noticing Duo was staring at him,
"Punch him, it's how men say 'hello.'" Suggested Shen-long from behind Duo's back, Duo looks at her fist, then punches Wufei from behind on the shoulder. The force causes Wufei to run into Quatre, the blond soldier,
"Oh Wufei, you made a friend." Said Quatre happily,
"Good, Now slap him on the behind, they like that." Recommended Shen-long again, while Duo slaps Wufei on the behind,
"Wu hoo hooooo. I'm going to hit you so hard it'll make your ancestors dizzy." Yelled Wufei angrily grabbing Duo by the collar,
"Wufei , relax and chant with me. Yaaaaaaa Moouuuu Ahhhhhh Doooou Fuuuu Daaaaa." Said Quatre calmly holding Wufei,
"Ya Mi Ah To Fu Da." Muttered Wufei his anger draining away,
"Feel better?" asked Quatre,
"Yeah. Aaaaa, you ain't worth my time chicken boy" said Wufei, after being released, to Duo while walking away,
"Chicken boy!? Say that to my face ya limp noodle!" yelled Shen-long enraged from behind Duo, who looks shocked at his outburst, Duo sees Wufei's fist coming at her and ducks, while Wufei hits Trowa standing behind her,
"Oh, sorry Trowa. Hey!" apologised Wufei and grabs Duo's foot as she starts to crawl away. Trowa kicks Wufei on the butt causing him to land against Quatre's stomach. Trowa Jump attack Duo, but she ducks and he lands on Wufei who was still lying on top of Quatre,
"You're dead. Oh, there he goes." Yelled Trowa while they fight on top of Quatre. Duo tries to run away but Trowa notices and points towards her. Duo runs into a tent and stops. Wufei, Trowa and Quatre run through the tent. But Wufei stops short as he is about to run into a soldier in a line for food. He looks behind him with concerned eyes as Trowa stops in time. But Quatre bumps into Trowa causing the entire line of soldiers to fall forward and knock over the pot of congee and the cook behind it. The men look to the back of the line and spy Duo who has just emerged from the tent. They angrily start walking towards her. Duo has a look of horror on her face as if trouble is about to brew.
"Hey guys." She tries to calm them down,
**************************
Meanwhile In The General's Tent:
Quinze who was watching everything outside turns away and walks into the tent. General Odin and Heero Yuy are talking in the tent.
"The Huns have struck here, here and here. I will take the main troops up to the Tung Shao Pass and stop Lord Treize before he destroys this village." Motioned General Odin with his pointer to a map of the region;
"Excellent strategy, Sir. I do love surprises, Ha ha, ha, ha." Laughed Quinze,
"You will stay here and train the new recruits. When Quinze believes you're ready, you will join us...Captain." continued General Odin, while he hands a sword to Heero,
"Captain?" asked Heero in wonder,
"Oh, this is an enormous responsibility, General. Uh, perhaps a soldier with more experience-" began Quinze trying to change the generals mind,
"Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques, an impressive military lineage. I believe Heero will do an excellent job." Said General Odin leaning back smugly stroking his chin,
"Oh, I will. I wont let you down. This is, I mean, I...yes sir." Began Heero excitingly and ending in a sombre note remembering his rank,
"Very good then. We'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City." Said General Odin getting up and starts walking out of the tent, turning to Quinze, "I'll expect a full report in three weeks."
"And I wont leave anything out." Said Quinze to Heero smiling wryly,
"Captain Heero Yuy, Hmmm, leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time. Heh, heh, heh, heh." Muttered Heero to himself while tying his sword to his uniform, then walks out of the tent to see the recruits fighting. He looks at his left to see Quinze and General Odin looking on. An injured Walker sees the General and salutes him as he falls to the ground. General Odin simply steps over the Injured walker and mounts his horse.
"Most impressive" muttered Quinze
"Good luck Captain." Said General Odin as he and his mounted troops leave the camp.
"Good luck, Father." Says Heero quietly, to himself before looking at his troops and sighing,
"Day one." Says Quinze smirking, with board and brush in hand ready to write everything down in his report,
"Soldiers!" shouted Heero,
All the Recruits back away revealing Duo and point at her. Duo is crouching in the fetal position on the ground, as they al yell at the same time,
"He started it!"
Heero approaches Duo and looks down over her. Duo looks up, sees Heero over top of her and gets up quickly dusting herself off.
"I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp!" Heero yelled at her,
"Sorry, Uhh, I mean, sorry you had to see that." And with her fist she taps Heero on the shoulder, who raises one eyebrow at her while she continues,
"You know how it is when you get those, uh -" she starts pounding her chest,
"- -manly urges and you just have to kill something-" slaps her hands together and blows at them afterwards because they hurt from the impact and continues rambling,
"-- fix things, uh, cook outdoors."
"What's your name?" demanded Heero,
"Ahh, I, uhhh, I, uh-" stumbled Duo,
"Your commanding officer just asked you a question." Yelled Quinze stepping into Duo's face,
"Uhh, I've got a name. Huh. And it's a boys name too." Said Duo hurriedly thinking up a name,
"Trowa, How 'bout Trowa?" suggested Shenlong from behind Duo
"His name's Trowa." Said Duo to Shenlong motioning with her head to Trowa,
"I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours." Yelled Heero getting impatient,
"Try, uh, ahh, Chu!" said Shenlong quickly,
"Ah Chu." Answered Duo,
"Ah Chu?" said Heero not believing a word of what she says,
"Gesundheit. He He, I kill myself." Laughed Shenlong wiping away a tear from his eye,
"Shenlong!" whispered Duo for him to stop kidding around,
"Shenlong?" asked Heero again,
"No." answered Duo,
"Then what is it!" yelled Heero getting angry,
"Solo! Solo, was my best friend growing up!" suggested Shenlong again,
"It's solo" said Duo with a smile,
"Solo?" asked Heero not quite believing her,
"Of course Solo DID steal my gir-" started Shenlong but Duo reaches back and grabs hold of Shenlong's mouth and holds it together,
"Yes, my name is Solo!" said Duo nodding her head,
"Let me see your conscription notice." Nodded Heero back, taking the notice from Duo after she hand it to him and reads the name,
" Father Maxwell *the* Father Maxwell?" said Heero wide eyed,
"I didn't know Father Maxwell had a son." Said Quinze in wonder,
"Um, he...doesn't talk about me much." Said Duo while she tries to hawk up a loogie and spits but the saliva just runs from her mouth. The recruits starts laughing at her antics.
"I can see why, the boy's an absolute lunatic." Whispered Quinze in Heero's ear,
"Okay gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Solo, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. And tomorrow, the real work begins." Yelled Heero at the recruits, before going back into his tent followed by Quinze. All the recruits growl at Duo, who takes a step backwards.
"You know, we have to work on your people skills." Said Shenlong popping out the front of Duo's armor.
******************************
The Next Morning:
Duo was still sleeping in her tent, who was situated away from all the others, when the sun came up. Already awake Shenlong winds up Cri-Kee's wings and let's go making Cri-kee ring like an alarm clock.
"All right, rise and shine sleeping beauty." Says Shenlong happily while Duo rises and blinks not completely awake yet,
"C'mon hup, hup, hup." Says Shenlong rapping on Duo's head with each syllable, Duo just groans, lies back down and pulls the covers over her head. Not liking her attitude Shenlong pulls the covers off Duo entirely,
"Get your clothes on. Get ready. Got breakfast for ya." Yells Shenlong jumping onto Duo's knee with a bowl of porridge,
"Look, you get porridge, and it's happy to see you." And Shenlong shows her the bowl with two eggs and bacon looking like a smiley face. Cri-Kee pops up out from the bowl of porridge with a smile,
"Hey, get outta there, you're gonna make people sick!" yelled Shenlong and uses his chopsticks to push Cri-Kee out of the porridge and on the floor,
"Am I late?" asked Duo sleepingly,
"No time to talk. Now remember, it's your first day of training so listen to your teacher and no fighting. Play nice with the other kids, unless of course one of the other kids wanna fight, then you have to kick the other kid's butt." Babbled Shenlong while stuffing Duo's mouth full of porridge,
"But I don't wanna kick the other kid's butt." Says Duo with her mouth full,
"Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face" asked Shenlong while Duo looks at him with wide eyes and chipmunk cheeks full of food.
"I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon scare me, girl!" yelled Shenlong,
"Rrrrrrr!" growled Duo after swallowing the food,
"That's what I'm talking about. Now get out there and make me proud". Says Shenlong after tying up Duo's hair, suddenly Shinigami's head appears in the tent as he whinnies and stamps his legs,
"What do you mean the troops just left?" asked Shenlong shocked,
"They what!?" asked Duo surprised, while hurriedly putting on her clothes and jumps out of the tent going off to join the other recruits.
"Wait, you forgot your sword. My little baby off to destroy people" sniffled Shenlong running out from the tent calling after Duo,
**************************
Meanwhile the troops were gathered together near Heero's tent, while Quinze walked up and down carrying his pad and pencil,
"Order people, order!" yelled Quinze,
"I'd like a pan fried noodle." Yelled Walker,
"Oh, oh, sweet and pungent shrimp" added Quatre while Trowa, Wufei and the others laugh,
"Moo goo gai pan" yelled another soldier,
"That's not funny." Said Quinze holding up his head and heading towards his tent, while Duo comes running up to the group,
"Looks like our new friend slept in this morning." says Trowa noticing Duo's arrival as she stops between Trowa and Wufei,
"Hellooo Solo, Are you hungry?" asked Trowa innocently,
"Yeah, 'cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich." Said Wufei angrily grabbing Duo by the shirt collar drawing back his other arm. Duo quickly hides her face with her hands. Trowa looks away, closes his eyes, and puts his fingers in his ears so that he wont hear anything, while Quatre looks on with worry in his eyes, while all the soldiers agree with Wufei;
"Yeah."
"Soldiers!" yells Heero loudly, coming out of his tent, while the soldiers quickly line up. Heero takes off his shirt and grabs a bow and a quiver of arrows. Duo's mouth falls open since she is duly impressed by Heero's physique,
"You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. Anyone who acts otherwise will answer to me." Spoke Heero walking down the line of soldiers.
"Ooooo, tough guy." Mutters Wufei totally not impresses by his words,
"Wufei." Yells Heero while turning around with a knocked arrow pointing towards Wufei, all the recruits take a step back leaving Wufei one step forward. Heero Points the arrow skyward and shoots it into the top of a high pole standing in the middle of the training ground,
"Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow." Says Heero lowering his bow,
"I'll get that arrow pretty boy. And I'll do it with my shirt on." Mutters Wufei to himself bowing to Heero and walking towards the pole. Stopping he looks up and prepares to leap onto that pole, rolling his eyes and sighing when Heero stops him.
"One moment, you seem to be missing something." Began Heero while Quinze brings out two large bronze disks. Heero takes out one disk and holds it high speaking to all the troops,
"This represents discipline --" says Heero and hands the weight to Wufei and when the weight falls to the ground it takes Wufei's arm with it,
"-- and this represents strength" says Heero while handing the other weight to Wufei making him fall to the ground. The troops laugh while Duo looks on concerned.
"You need both to reach the arrow." Ended Heero, motioning for Wufei to start,
Wufei starts climbing up the pole but slips down under the weight. Everyone, including Trowa, Quatre and Duo each take their turn and fall down. Duo rubs her behind as she walks away in front of Heero who sighs in defeat,
"We've got a long way to go." And looks up at the sky for strength.
****************************************
//Let's get down to business--
to defeat the Huns.
Did they send me daughters
when I asked for sons
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
But you can bet
before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you //
Heero takes up a staff and throws up two clay pots and breaks them apart with his staff before they hit the ground, he looks at them while the troops are highly impressed at what he did. Heero reaches back and throws staffs to the soldiers. Wufei intercepts Duo's staff, who looks mad and trips her with it. The Troops start trying themselves failing with a loud,
"Hua"
Trowa puts a cricket down Duo's back causing her to flail erratically. Most soldiers fall when they get hit as Duo moves uncontrollably, trying to get the cricket out. Seeing what's happening Heero does a somersault in the air landing near Duo. But still takes a pole in the stomach, before stopping Duo and taking her staff. He grabs her by the collar while she looks shocked and ruffled up.
//Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within
Once you find your centre
You are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale,
pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a man
out of you!//
Heero steps on a lever throwing up 3 targets which he hits with 3 arrows from one bow. Motioning for the recruits to try, they all fail. Duo gets ready to fire when Shenlong sticks a target on her arrow before she shoots. Duo looks at Shenlong in shock and pauses. Heero looks disdainfully at Duo for her little trick as she cracks a huge smile.
Later Heero balances a bucket of water on his head holding a staff. The recruits fire stones at him which Heero deflect them with the staff, not spilling a drop of water. When Duo tries the bucket of water wobbles on her head. When the recruits throw stones at her the bucket tips over onto her head and she lift it in shame to see Heero look on disappointed.
Standing in a river Heero throws his hand down into it and retrieves a fish. Seeing what he did Duo throws her hand down into the river and retrieves Wufei's foot. Looking behind her she sees Shenlong coming out of the water with a fish in his hand and tries to give it to her.
"I'm never gonna catch my breath" yells Quatre to himself while Wufei runs behind him trough a field of burning arrows, falling down and getting shot in the butt with an arrow yelling
"Say good-bye to those who knew me"
Standing in front of a stone slab, Trowa bows and bangs his head on it breaking his teeth but not the stone muttering;
"Boy I was a fool in school for cutting gym" before falling down,
//(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon //
Heero practices martial arts with Duo and with a punch to the face he knocks her back into a tree with a black eye. Duo could hear Shenlong talking to Cri-kee trying to act as a boxing coach, waving a small towel in front of her and spraying water in her face,
"This guy's got 'em scared to death" while pushing Duo back into the ring hearing her mutter,
"Hope he doesn't see right through me"
Quatre stops as he's hopping across poles protruding from water causing Heero and the recruits to pile into him, hearing him yell at himself in fear,
"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!"
The recruits try to fire the cannons but the Cannon fire misses the target in the middle of an open field. Trowa kicks the support structure out from Duo's cannon causing it to fall. Duo quickly grabs the cannon and it fires high and back towards the camp landing and exploding Quinze's tent Looking up she sees Heero looking over the camp from the hill not looking pleased.
//Time is racing toward us
till the Huns arrive
Heed my every order
and you might survive//
Heero leads his troops laden with poles on their shoulders carrying bags of grain - one on each side and make them march up the mountain. Quinze who is following them on his horse points Heero's eyes back to a struggling Duo who falls to the ground. Cri-Kee and Shenlong try to pick her up but hide when Heero comes up to her. Heero picks up her pole with grain, puts it on top of his and returns to the troops. Duo looks on rejected and tired.
Back at the camp Heero hands the reigns of Shinigami back to Duo saying,
"You're unsuited for the rage of war. So pack up, go home, you're through. How could I make a man out of you?" before walking back into his tent. Duo walks away disappointed. Passing the pole in the middle of the square she looks up determent. She takes the weights, ties them round her wrist and tries to climb the pole again. Duo ties the weights together behind the pole and uses the cloth to help her shimmy up the pole, sliding down several times.
As the sun begins to rise the recruits come out of their tents, seeing Duo climb the pole they begin to cheer her on. She reaches the top just as Heero comes out of his tent, the arrow he shot up onto the pole comes down to his feet. He looks up and sees Duo sitting on top of the pole with a smile. He smiles back knowingly.
//(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon//
Time progresses as do the soldiers:
When practising with their bows and arrows all the troops hit all targets with their arrows correctly.
When they climb up the mountain again Duo races in front of Heero and the recruits this time with the pole and weights on her shoulders. Heero smiling at her antics.
The next time Duo and Heero fight, Duo kicks Heero in the face with a round house. While Heero looks pleased at her work.
When they have to cross the river again Quatre does acrobatics on the poles as the troops follow, Wufei has no more trouble with running trough the arrows and even catches Duo's staff handing it to her with a smile.
Duo catches fish without trouble, when Trowa has no more troubles breaking the block of stone with his head. As for the rest of the troops they all hit bulls eye with their cannons from now on. And at the end of the training they all move in sink with each other when practising with their staffs, jumping in the air with a loud
"Hya"
//(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon//
The Troops are ready for war.
********************************************
So, what do you think?
Review please pretty please