Author's note: arrrgggghhhhh!!!!! I hate the world! Everyone is trying to
kill me!!!!! Waaaaa!!!!! All right, now that I've gotten that over with,
sigh. Grumble grumble grumble episode 67 grumble grumble. Well, at least
I've hit the three hundred review mark! Yay! Keep the reviews coming! Oh
well, on with the story.
Narrator: and now, we shall get our old friend to do the disclaimer. (Leads Dawn out by the paw)
Dawn: and what will you give me for this episode?
Narrator: yes! For this episode, I will give you a.(Dun Dun Dun!) the amazing plate of mysterious pink wobble! (Holds it up)
Dawn: (staring at the amazing plate of mysterious pink wobble) what's this? Where did it come from?
Narrator: well, it came from an in-flight meal.
Dawn: (still staring at the amazing plate of mysterious pink wobble) and what does this thing here do?
Narrator: well, I'm not too sure myself, but if you shake it a bit, it wobbles and keeps on wobbling! (Shakes the plate)
Dawn: (watching the amazing plate of mysterious pink wobble wobble) aah. And what would I do with it?
Narrator: I'm not sure, but if you don't want it, I can huggle you anyway! (Huggles Dawn)
Dawn: now that's a better gift. (Huggles back)
Narrator: oh well, let's not keep the readers waiting, on with the story!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 67:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon reading the newspaper.)
Jolteon: (reading) today, Mario was convicted on charges of illegal drug possession and consumption. The drug in question was "magic" mushrooms. It seems that Mario has not been using the regular Super mushrooms, and instead has switched to LSD-containing "Magic" mushrooms. Mario is now appealing his conviction.
Narrator: put that down and go out for a walk.
Jolteon: why?
Narrator: (in a serious tone) because I am author of this fic, and as such I have a god-like power over all that happens in this fic.
Jolteon: (grumbling) 'k. (Gets up and leaves)
Narrator: far away.
(The scene changes to Tracey HQ. We see the Evil Tracey hard at work. Darth Gary comes in)
Darth Gary: what are you doing, Master?
Tracey: ahem. (Laughs evilly) Bwahahaha! Following the failure of the Green Pudding, I have come up with a new, improved, enhanced...
Darth Gary: yes?
Tracey: Man-Eating Muffin! Bwahahaha!
Darth Gary: did you overdose on your evilness medication today, Master?
Tracey: of course not! I merely took the whole bottle! And now let us unleash the evil Man-eating Muffin upon the helpless residents of Ecruteak city! Bwahahaha!
Darth Gary: this is an excellent plan, Master!
Tracey: of course it is! And this Man-Eating Muffin even has a built-in resistance to Ash Ketchums! Bwahahahaha!
Narrator: oh no! Will our heroes be able to stop the Man-Eating Muffin? Meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Flareon's igloo. Jolteon comes into the scene.)
Jolteon: (watching Flareon idly repeatedly press the doorbell) whatcha doing?
Flareon: (in trance) doorbell...sounds...good...(Presses again)
(Suddenly, the evil Man-Eating Muffin comes over and squishes Flareon's igloo)
(There is silence for a while)
Flareon: (bursting into tears) THAT THING KILLED MY DOORBELL!
Jolteon: 0_o;;;
Flareon: (giving chase after the evil Man-Eating Muffin, dragging Jolteon behind him) QUICK! WE MUST AVENGE MY DOORBELL!
Jolteon: (being dragged) okay.
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to the Author's Lounge. We see all the authors doing their usual stuff.)
TCL: (suddenly speaking up) that's it! I have just pinpointed the source of the evil sanity that is plaguing our insane coalition!
Authors: (running around wildly) what? Where is it? Where is it?
TCL: using my amazing psychic powers, I have discerned the evil source of the sanity, which is.(points with wing to the toilet) there!
C9Y: huh? That's not possible.how can sanity be in a toilet? It doesn't even exist as a thing?
TCL: nevertheless, the evil sanity waves are being emitted from the toilet!
Flower: and I suppose we must go in there?
TCL: yes!
(All the Authors cautiously approach the toilet. Mewchu11 slowly squeaks the door open)
C9Y: Aieeeee! (Faints)
Sal: I can feel myself going sane.
(The camera swings to show the toilet bowl glowing red)
Narrator: (producing a sledgehammer from nowhere) quick! We must destroy the evil toilet bowl of sanity at once before all of us become sane!
(The authors start hacking away at the evil toilet bowl of sanity with whatever they can find. Eventually, the evil toilet bowl of sanity crumbles into rubble)
Authors: (bouncing up and down) hooray! We have overcome the evil toilet bowl of sanity!
TCL: who's up for a game of strip blackjack?
Saf: good to see that TCL's back to her normal, insane self.
11: isn't that rather pointless? I mean, all pokemon don't wear clothes.
Flower: you bet. (Removes 11's fur coat)
11: EEP! (Dives behind the sofa) all right, I retract my statement.
Narrator: Bwahahahahaha! Meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Ecruteak city, which is being ravaged by the evil Man- Eating Muffin)
Man-Eating Muffin: Rawr! (Bites a huge chunk out of the tin tower)
(Flareon rushes onto the scene, dragging Jolteon behind him)
Flareon: (noticing the evil Man-Eating Muffin) YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! I WILL AVENGE MY DOORBELL!!!!! (Rushes forward)
Man-Eating Muffin: Rawr! (Swallows Flareon)
Jolteon: great. Now what to do.
Man-Eating Muffin: Rawr. (Goes over to the gym, rips it up, and eats all the people inside, including Morty.)
Jolteon: (thoughtfully staring at the evil Man-Eating Muffin) hmm.
Man-Eating Muffin: RAWR! (Swallows all the Kimono girls)
Jolteon: (to self) oh well, guess it couldn't hurt.(Walks up to the evil Man-Eating Muffin and pokes it)
(Poke poke poke poke poke)
(The evil Man-Eating Muffin stops dead in its tracks, turns blue, squeaks three times, and explodes.)
Jolteon: (staring at the remains of the Man-eating Muffin) wow, that was easy.
Flareon: (dancing around wildly in circles) BWAHAHAHAHA! MY DOORBELL HAS BEEN AVENGED! BWAHAHAHA!!!!!
Jolteon: okay.come on, let's go home and leave all these poor people here to clean up the mess. (Drags Flareon off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Tracey HQ.)
Tracey: what? How could this have happened? What went wrong?
Darth Gary: (checking the label on a bag) I think you used cornstarch instead of sugar, Master.
Tracey: GAAAGGGHHH!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, NEVER, EVER, EVER STORE THE SUGAR AND CORNSTARCH TOGETHER! AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!
Narrator: Bwahaha! And so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon, except for.
(The scene changes to the Author's Lounge, where Dawn is idly playing with the plate of mysterious pink wobble)
Narrator: (coming in) having fun?
Dawn: (poking the mysterious pink wobble and watching it wobble) sort of.
Narrator: well, that's nice.
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^
Narrator: and now, we shall get our old friend to do the disclaimer. (Leads Dawn out by the paw)
Dawn: and what will you give me for this episode?
Narrator: yes! For this episode, I will give you a.(Dun Dun Dun!) the amazing plate of mysterious pink wobble! (Holds it up)
Dawn: (staring at the amazing plate of mysterious pink wobble) what's this? Where did it come from?
Narrator: well, it came from an in-flight meal.
Dawn: (still staring at the amazing plate of mysterious pink wobble) and what does this thing here do?
Narrator: well, I'm not too sure myself, but if you shake it a bit, it wobbles and keeps on wobbling! (Shakes the plate)
Dawn: (watching the amazing plate of mysterious pink wobble wobble) aah. And what would I do with it?
Narrator: I'm not sure, but if you don't want it, I can huggle you anyway! (Huggles Dawn)
Dawn: now that's a better gift. (Huggles back)
Narrator: oh well, let's not keep the readers waiting, on with the story!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 67:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon reading the newspaper.)
Jolteon: (reading) today, Mario was convicted on charges of illegal drug possession and consumption. The drug in question was "magic" mushrooms. It seems that Mario has not been using the regular Super mushrooms, and instead has switched to LSD-containing "Magic" mushrooms. Mario is now appealing his conviction.
Narrator: put that down and go out for a walk.
Jolteon: why?
Narrator: (in a serious tone) because I am author of this fic, and as such I have a god-like power over all that happens in this fic.
Jolteon: (grumbling) 'k. (Gets up and leaves)
Narrator: far away.
(The scene changes to Tracey HQ. We see the Evil Tracey hard at work. Darth Gary comes in)
Darth Gary: what are you doing, Master?
Tracey: ahem. (Laughs evilly) Bwahahaha! Following the failure of the Green Pudding, I have come up with a new, improved, enhanced...
Darth Gary: yes?
Tracey: Man-Eating Muffin! Bwahahaha!
Darth Gary: did you overdose on your evilness medication today, Master?
Tracey: of course not! I merely took the whole bottle! And now let us unleash the evil Man-eating Muffin upon the helpless residents of Ecruteak city! Bwahahaha!
Darth Gary: this is an excellent plan, Master!
Tracey: of course it is! And this Man-Eating Muffin even has a built-in resistance to Ash Ketchums! Bwahahahaha!
Narrator: oh no! Will our heroes be able to stop the Man-Eating Muffin? Meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Flareon's igloo. Jolteon comes into the scene.)
Jolteon: (watching Flareon idly repeatedly press the doorbell) whatcha doing?
Flareon: (in trance) doorbell...sounds...good...(Presses again)
(Suddenly, the evil Man-Eating Muffin comes over and squishes Flareon's igloo)
(There is silence for a while)
Flareon: (bursting into tears) THAT THING KILLED MY DOORBELL!
Jolteon: 0_o;;;
Flareon: (giving chase after the evil Man-Eating Muffin, dragging Jolteon behind him) QUICK! WE MUST AVENGE MY DOORBELL!
Jolteon: (being dragged) okay.
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to the Author's Lounge. We see all the authors doing their usual stuff.)
TCL: (suddenly speaking up) that's it! I have just pinpointed the source of the evil sanity that is plaguing our insane coalition!
Authors: (running around wildly) what? Where is it? Where is it?
TCL: using my amazing psychic powers, I have discerned the evil source of the sanity, which is.(points with wing to the toilet) there!
C9Y: huh? That's not possible.how can sanity be in a toilet? It doesn't even exist as a thing?
TCL: nevertheless, the evil sanity waves are being emitted from the toilet!
Flower: and I suppose we must go in there?
TCL: yes!
(All the Authors cautiously approach the toilet. Mewchu11 slowly squeaks the door open)
C9Y: Aieeeee! (Faints)
Sal: I can feel myself going sane.
(The camera swings to show the toilet bowl glowing red)
Narrator: (producing a sledgehammer from nowhere) quick! We must destroy the evil toilet bowl of sanity at once before all of us become sane!
(The authors start hacking away at the evil toilet bowl of sanity with whatever they can find. Eventually, the evil toilet bowl of sanity crumbles into rubble)
Authors: (bouncing up and down) hooray! We have overcome the evil toilet bowl of sanity!
TCL: who's up for a game of strip blackjack?
Saf: good to see that TCL's back to her normal, insane self.
11: isn't that rather pointless? I mean, all pokemon don't wear clothes.
Flower: you bet. (Removes 11's fur coat)
11: EEP! (Dives behind the sofa) all right, I retract my statement.
Narrator: Bwahahahahaha! Meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Ecruteak city, which is being ravaged by the evil Man- Eating Muffin)
Man-Eating Muffin: Rawr! (Bites a huge chunk out of the tin tower)
(Flareon rushes onto the scene, dragging Jolteon behind him)
Flareon: (noticing the evil Man-Eating Muffin) YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! I WILL AVENGE MY DOORBELL!!!!! (Rushes forward)
Man-Eating Muffin: Rawr! (Swallows Flareon)
Jolteon: great. Now what to do.
Man-Eating Muffin: Rawr. (Goes over to the gym, rips it up, and eats all the people inside, including Morty.)
Jolteon: (thoughtfully staring at the evil Man-Eating Muffin) hmm.
Man-Eating Muffin: RAWR! (Swallows all the Kimono girls)
Jolteon: (to self) oh well, guess it couldn't hurt.(Walks up to the evil Man-Eating Muffin and pokes it)
(Poke poke poke poke poke)
(The evil Man-Eating Muffin stops dead in its tracks, turns blue, squeaks three times, and explodes.)
Jolteon: (staring at the remains of the Man-eating Muffin) wow, that was easy.
Flareon: (dancing around wildly in circles) BWAHAHAHAHA! MY DOORBELL HAS BEEN AVENGED! BWAHAHAHA!!!!!
Jolteon: okay.come on, let's go home and leave all these poor people here to clean up the mess. (Drags Flareon off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Tracey HQ.)
Tracey: what? How could this have happened? What went wrong?
Darth Gary: (checking the label on a bag) I think you used cornstarch instead of sugar, Master.
Tracey: GAAAGGGHHH!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, NEVER, EVER, EVER STORE THE SUGAR AND CORNSTARCH TOGETHER! AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!
Narrator: Bwahaha! And so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon, except for.
(The scene changes to the Author's Lounge, where Dawn is idly playing with the plate of mysterious pink wobble)
Narrator: (coming in) having fun?
Dawn: (poking the mysterious pink wobble and watching it wobble) sort of.
Narrator: well, that's nice.
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^