Hello I'm back and so is Kurt Kurt waves. Unfortunatly is my new Logan muse, he isn't much of a people person I'm afraid, he already tried to shred my dog!!

Logan glowers

I back away…slowly… RUNNN!!

Grabs Kurt's arm and runs to the cupboard

Kurt: If he scares you why keep him?

Me: He's just finding his feet, he'll settle down …. Honest! mumbles At least I *hope* so!!

*SNICKT*

ME: gulps Read and review!!

The next day

I only encountered one more foe during my time in the desert however this time I had the element of surprise on my side and had dispatched of him easily. Now I had to cleanse the forest which was cooler and would provide safe places for shelter and thus, sleep. I walked for about an hour before I saw a hollow tree trunk beckoning me. I pulled up a patch of moss from under a rock to plug the gap up with so what ever wild animals that lived on this crazy planet couldn't attack me as I slept, to say nothing of the weirdo monsters I had encountered.

When I awoke my neck was stiff from sleeping sat up. I moved the moss and scrambled out from the tree trunk which didn't seem as good an idea as it had when I had crawled into it. I brushed all the foliage off of me, but I couldn't stop feeling grubby and greasy, but I would sure try to cure that if I found a stream I could wash my hair in.

I picked up my stuff and ate a mouldy biscuit, as I began the final leg of my trek. I hated to think what monsters I would have to face to purge this area of evilness, although the one I had already met were relatively easy compared to the likes of … say Apocalypse. I began to wonder what kinds of foes my friends had encountered and found myself drawn into thinking about them.

 Mel, god she made me laugh, the rest of us had all dressed in our uniforms for the trip, but not Mel who had dressed in a smart pair of trousers and a blouse. I smiled at the thought; she cared too much about her appearance which was kind of funny considering she never judged people on their looks. She never called everyone ugly to me the whole darn world was ugly except for those blessed by God (like Mel) with good looks. I wish I had the ability to make people happy like she could, just by smiling a whole room full of people felt much better, reassured even, hell she should have been the leader of this team not me!

Ugliness that made me think of Logan, who was a bit of an ugly runt bless him! I am quite possibly the only one who will tell him this when he gets on one of his ego rampages. Logan, I thought about him for a second, the hairy one, he was strange, he was on he side of the Angels yet  known to toe the line awfully close to the opposite of what he fought for, hell he's even stepped over  time or two. He was a guy who loved harassing and ignoring higher authority yet someone who wouldn't hassle a police woman if he got arrested. He was a girl's best friend yet could make a fully grown man blub like a new born baby. 

Then there was Kat who seemed simpler than anyone else you could ever meet yet she was one of the most complex people there are out. With her appearances are not reality, she may appear dumb but she's razor sharp there's not much that she misses. To be honest its hard to define where the front ends and her reality begins.

Evelyn with her sweet kindness, and caring ways one day she would make an excellent teacher at the institute and I knew that was her dream, to help the kids gain the kind of control over their powers that Xavier had helped her achieve. I envied her, she knew where she wanted to be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, when I didn't know what I wanted to do from one hour to the next.

Then there was Jubilee with her vivacity and her zest for life, nothing kept her down for long. Although a pessimist like me, in times of need she was the hope we all needed reminding of. Jubilee remembered as the fun one, with the ideas for a great night out and a new fun activity to help whittle away the time between lessons or battle. She really was a firecracker, unpredictable, exciting, fun (and exhausting to watch) but not always the safest thing to play with.

Then there was Bobby, the perfect match for Kat, although they were kind of like opposites you know the whole fire and ice thing. But despite his frigid power he was one of the warmest people you could find, and if you could get him to understand, he actually cared. There's not many people like that left nowadays, men…good men are so rare, it's scary.

At that thought I spotted a lovely refreshing looking waterfall in a clearing of trees I grabbed a towel out of my bag and my shampoo, pulled off my jacket, t-shirt, boots and socks and ran for it in a frenzy of happiness.

I emerged from under the water feeling refreshed and ready to meet the next monster, it seems that the powers that be recognised this and decided to send a nice villainous monster to attack and hopefully slaughter. It just kind of landed in my path from nowhere this big ugly (but aren't they all) serpent like creature, I looked into its eyes, and then it slithered off. Strange I thought, can't have been a bad guy after all and continued on my merry way. However it wasn't very long before the rain began to beat down through the immense foliage, and I heard the distant rumble of thunder. I felt my stomach turn to lead and my mouth go dry, I looked around fro shelter. I saw a flash of lightening light up the forest, and shut my eyes trying to block all this out as panic seized me; I knew I couldn't carry on that at this point I had failed my friends. Yes! I am scared of thunder and Lightning; wouldn't you be if you got struck by lightning when you were 15? It is one of the only things I have ever been scared of , no one knows of this fear, like many things in my life I have kept this a secret, I just disappear to my bedroom when ever there's a storm and wait it out. Now I had no where to hide, and as I heard the thunder rumble around me I collapsed in a quivering heap on the floor. I sat rocking backwards and forwards wanting nothing more than a good book and my bed back at the mansion I wished that I wasn't there living through this. It was over, all over now! There was no way I could continue.

'It was just a stupid dream to play the super hero you knew it couldn't last' I told myself as I felt an unfamiliar dampness on my face, I realised that for the first time in ages I was crying.

After 10 minutes I began to snap out of it as the storm raged on, I was the leader of Retribution X I didn't give up, so what if I got scared, more scared then I've ever been, I know it sounds stupid but I was more scared sat in that storm then I was in the battle in the desert, hell I kind of enjoyed that, but I am not as fearless as I like to think. I shut my eyes in an effort to calm down, 'Damn it Ash, your courage, right? Well remember courage is nothing but resistance to and mastery of fear!' I told my self. I thought of what I was fighting for, I was fighting for a freedom, lives, a world that I knew little about but what I did know was enough to make me combat this fear, this world, Linslee needed me. That was what clinched it for me I fought the fear I felt and began back on my trek. At that moment I realised I was in fact dry despite having been stuck in a thunder storm. I looked up from the ground which was dry to once again meet the eyes of the serpent which had somehow shrunk, in a similar way to the evil bull headed thing that I fought back in the desert, but what had I done to hurt it and make it shrink?

Again I looked and the creature had disappeared and one again I continued my journey. I finally reached the end of the forest and saw where the others were waiting for me, but instead of looking pleased to see me they looked angry and they were battered and bruised my heart sank.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kat asked angrily

I shot her an angry glare telling her to shut up.

"We almost died out there!" Jubilee sounded different than her usual happy go lucky self. "And because it's obvious you do not care about the welfare of the team, thus why you wandered off of on your own, we have appointed a new leader: Mel and well we've decided there is not a place for you within the team anymore!"

Okay this day was getting weirder and weirder.

Jubilees words were like an icy fingers wrapped around my heart squeezing out my very essence. 

 "What do you mean?" My voice faltered

"You're out! You're unwanted! Don't make this harder then it already is!" Mel spook up now in her gentle voice.

I took a deep breath as I recoiled like they had dealt me a physical blow. Their words hurt, hell they hurt, for the past year and a half I have lived for this team, doing all I could for them, now it was all thrown back in my face. Suddenly my life seemed pathetic, best ended, all I ever wanted was to be loved and accepted, all I wanted was the best for the team, how could I have got it so wrong?

My life, my miserable bitter life, it should be ended forthwith, without them, with out my job, I had no life!  I pulled my sword from its sheath which was rested on my back under my bag as the thought of ending it all crossed my mind. I took a deep breath as I feel to my knees and place the razor sharp edge of the sword against my wrist.

"Go on do it!" Mel taunted

My head snapped up this wasn't right; Mel would never act like that! It was almost as if someone was playing with me and my fears. I began to think more logically, there would be other jobs with the Avengers (hell they took anyone) or some other group for people with powers like mine, if not I could work in a shop maybe I could become a driving instructor when I became older. My future felt safe again and I put the sword back in the scabbard and got up from my knees (White Lightning knelt down before nobody). When I stood up the scenery around me shifted and once again I was face by the serpent, which again diminished inside before suddenly transforming into me but in a different costume.

It drew its sword "You can fight your fears but how well can you fight yourself?"

I matched its movement drawing my own sword. "That was the wrong move buddy, I'm gonna make you disappear quicker then a snow flake in hell…fast!"

I lunged at it before slipping, I quickly kicked out at its feet, and it remained upright however. I scrambled back up as we began a swift sword fight.  For the second time in my life, my vision became different, my thoughts disappeared as rage filled me, I fought with the thing that looked and moved like me charging its sword when I did blocking when I took a swipe, and then suddenly I felt a cold numbness in my shoulder, and the rage seemed to drain from me in the same way that the blood began to seep out of my body, I lay on my back gasping for air and watched as my opponent, the most worthy I had met , raised its sword above it's head and I knew that it was the end for me as my vision came in and out of focus I knew that I may soon gasp my last.

Don't forget to read and review Logan gets grumpy….er, grumpier when he hasn't been fed so save an author today and send your reviews!!