Author's note: yawn.what, a stupid, boring, insane, freakish week! I hate
everyone in the whole world! Um.let me retract that last statement.ok, not
necessarily the whole world, but most of it.mumble mumble mumble.grr. Oh
well, here's episode number 71, brought to you by me and my amazing bad
mood.mumble. Anyways, read and enjoy the fic, and don't forget to leave a
review!
Narrator: and as usual, we'll get my lovable, cute, pretty kitty to do the disclaimer for us today. (Leads Dawn out by the paw)
Dawn: (brushing some microscopic lint off her fur) and what's today's disclaimer gift?
Narrator: ah, yes. For doing today's disclaimer, I will give you.a collection of hankies, of seven different colors, one for each day of the week! (Holds them up)
Dawn: (stares at the collection of hankies) (squeals) gimme gimme gimme!
Narrator: (coughing lightly) disclaimer.
Dawn: all right.Lccorp2 does not own pokemon, nor does he own any other characters not created by him. However, he does own a large mug which he drinks his water out of, and he also owns this fic, although he admittedly doesn't own many of the ideas which enter this fic.
Narrator: all right, here you go.(tosses dawn the pack of hankies)
Dawn: yay! (Tears open the pack and starts to munch happily on a pink hanky)
Narrator: oh well.on with the story!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 71:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the Internet in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place, a place known as the Author's Lounge.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized closet somewhere.
(Camera zooms onto the closet, and then zooms into the closet. We see Jolteon and Umbreon pouring over the book of Secrets)
Jolteon: (thumping the book) this map of flower's closet of Stuff makes no sense whatsoever.
Umbreon: (shifting uncomfortably) so that means.?
Jolteon: we could be lost in here for a very long time, or never find our way out.
Umbreon: well, at least we've got the illusion that we know where we're going.(points to the Book of Secrets)
Jolteon: and that's better than not knowing where we're going?
Umbreon: (nodding) yeah.
Jolteon: you may be right.oh well.(Creates a door which the both of them step through)
(The scene changes to some freakish place. Our heroes are unceremoniously dumped in.)
Umbreon: that was a fast ride.
Jolteon: now where are we?
(A fairy walks by)
Umbreon: I must be dreaming.
Fairy: hi! I'm a dandruff fairy!
Jolteon: I've heard of tooth fairies, but this is ridiculous!
Fairy: (folding arms) well, how do you think dandruff comes about?
Umbreon um.I don't know.and aren't you supposed to be THE Dandruff Fairy?
Fairy: nope, it's a franchise thing.and you see, I'm supposed to take this bag of dandruff and sprinkle if on people's heads, and collect my paycheck every other week.
Jolteon: tell me, do you know the way out of here?
Fairy: yes! Now from here, go right, left, up, right, down, right, right, up, up, left.
Umbreon: I think this is gonna take a while.
Narrator: indeed. Meanwhile, outside the closet.
(The scene changes to the Author's Lounge. We see Mewchu lying on the couch.)
Mewchu: (groaning) aak.
Moonlit: (coming in) what's the matter Mewwy?
Mewchu: I'm ill.
Moonlit: oh? (Examines Mewchu) you look fine to me.
Mewchu: I have a disease that can only be cured by Macaroni, a six-pack of vanilla coke and a pizza. (Grins)
(There is silence for a while as the both of them stare at each other)
Moonlit: fine. (Leaves)
Narrator: oh well, back to our heroes.
(The scene changes back to our heroes, still listening to the Dandruff Fairy yak away)
Dandruff Fairy: and then go up the stairs, and turn left three times, and you're there!
Jolteon: um.
Umbreon: never mind, you've been a great help. Thanks anyways.
(The two of them step into a door and leave.)
Narrator: what will happen to our heroes? In the meantime, let me create a pointless diversion.
(The scene changes to Ash and co, evidently lost in some forest again.)
Brock aydda wadda wadda!
Ash: (pointing at Brock) how long has he been like this?
Misty: (with an impatient look on her face) ever since he ate those rice balls, which were actually translated into "Donuts"?
Ash: (staring at the insane Brock, who is now pretending to be a pig) so, how do we get him back to normal?
Misty: who cares? I'm horny! (Tackles Ash and sends the both of them flying into a thick bush)
(A few moments later, articles of clothing fly out of the bush and land on the Brock, who by now is pretending to be a fly.)
Narrator: oh well, back to our heroes.
(The scene changes back to our heroes, in some sort of warehouse.)
Jolteon: (brushing dust of self) oh great. Now where did that magic wand microphone take us?
Umbreon: (looking around) it seems to be some sort of warehouse.(looks down at the ground) oh, look! A jellybean! (Runs toward it)
Jellybean: (in a high, squeaky voice) don't eat me! Don't eat me!
Umbreon: (looking down at the jellybean) and why not?
Jellybean: because I'm a jellybean of certain doom!
Umbreon: really?
Jellybean: sure! (Explodes, leaving our heroes quite blackened and charred)
Jolteon: (pointing) um, I think you should see this.
(The camera swings to show some crates toppling over to reveal masses of jellybeans)
Umbreon: this does NOT look good.
Jolteon: I agree.
Umbreon: RUN FOR IT!!!!!
(Our heroes run through a door that has somehow appeared in the wall, just as huge explosions tear the air behind them.)
Jolteon: (wiping sweat off brow with a paw) now where Are we?
Umbreon: (pulling out book of secrets) well, according to the map, we're in the middle of flower's closet of stuff.
Jolteon: (looks around) hello, what's this large machine in the corner?
Umbreon: (running up and reading sign on lever) flower's doom machine. Do not pull this lever as it will spell doom for the whole closet of stuff. Repeat: do not pull this lever.
Jolteon: aah, what's all this fuss about.(Pulls the lever)
(A siren begins to whine and overhead lights flash)
Umbreon: great. Now we're gonna be blown up.
Jolteon: look at it this way, it's better than being lost forever and slowly starving to death?
Umbreon: makes sense.
Flower's doom Machine : initializing countdown.3.2.1.
(There is a HUGE explosion as the closet of stuff explodes, leaving a nice black scorch flower in the Author's Lounge, and our two heroes in the middle of it, charred.)
Narrator: (idly chewing on a brick) ah, so there you are. I've been looking all over for you.
Jolteon: (gasping) good.to.see.you.
(Both our heroes collapse)
Narrator: oh well, and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon! Do stay tuned for the next episode!
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^
Narrator: and as usual, we'll get my lovable, cute, pretty kitty to do the disclaimer for us today. (Leads Dawn out by the paw)
Dawn: (brushing some microscopic lint off her fur) and what's today's disclaimer gift?
Narrator: ah, yes. For doing today's disclaimer, I will give you.a collection of hankies, of seven different colors, one for each day of the week! (Holds them up)
Dawn: (stares at the collection of hankies) (squeals) gimme gimme gimme!
Narrator: (coughing lightly) disclaimer.
Dawn: all right.Lccorp2 does not own pokemon, nor does he own any other characters not created by him. However, he does own a large mug which he drinks his water out of, and he also owns this fic, although he admittedly doesn't own many of the ideas which enter this fic.
Narrator: all right, here you go.(tosses dawn the pack of hankies)
Dawn: yay! (Tears open the pack and starts to munch happily on a pink hanky)
Narrator: oh well.on with the story!
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 71:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the Internet in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place, a place known as the Author's Lounge.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized closet somewhere.
(Camera zooms onto the closet, and then zooms into the closet. We see Jolteon and Umbreon pouring over the book of Secrets)
Jolteon: (thumping the book) this map of flower's closet of Stuff makes no sense whatsoever.
Umbreon: (shifting uncomfortably) so that means.?
Jolteon: we could be lost in here for a very long time, or never find our way out.
Umbreon: well, at least we've got the illusion that we know where we're going.(points to the Book of Secrets)
Jolteon: and that's better than not knowing where we're going?
Umbreon: (nodding) yeah.
Jolteon: you may be right.oh well.(Creates a door which the both of them step through)
(The scene changes to some freakish place. Our heroes are unceremoniously dumped in.)
Umbreon: that was a fast ride.
Jolteon: now where are we?
(A fairy walks by)
Umbreon: I must be dreaming.
Fairy: hi! I'm a dandruff fairy!
Jolteon: I've heard of tooth fairies, but this is ridiculous!
Fairy: (folding arms) well, how do you think dandruff comes about?
Umbreon um.I don't know.and aren't you supposed to be THE Dandruff Fairy?
Fairy: nope, it's a franchise thing.and you see, I'm supposed to take this bag of dandruff and sprinkle if on people's heads, and collect my paycheck every other week.
Jolteon: tell me, do you know the way out of here?
Fairy: yes! Now from here, go right, left, up, right, down, right, right, up, up, left.
Umbreon: I think this is gonna take a while.
Narrator: indeed. Meanwhile, outside the closet.
(The scene changes to the Author's Lounge. We see Mewchu lying on the couch.)
Mewchu: (groaning) aak.
Moonlit: (coming in) what's the matter Mewwy?
Mewchu: I'm ill.
Moonlit: oh? (Examines Mewchu) you look fine to me.
Mewchu: I have a disease that can only be cured by Macaroni, a six-pack of vanilla coke and a pizza. (Grins)
(There is silence for a while as the both of them stare at each other)
Moonlit: fine. (Leaves)
Narrator: oh well, back to our heroes.
(The scene changes back to our heroes, still listening to the Dandruff Fairy yak away)
Dandruff Fairy: and then go up the stairs, and turn left three times, and you're there!
Jolteon: um.
Umbreon: never mind, you've been a great help. Thanks anyways.
(The two of them step into a door and leave.)
Narrator: what will happen to our heroes? In the meantime, let me create a pointless diversion.
(The scene changes to Ash and co, evidently lost in some forest again.)
Brock aydda wadda wadda!
Ash: (pointing at Brock) how long has he been like this?
Misty: (with an impatient look on her face) ever since he ate those rice balls, which were actually translated into "Donuts"?
Ash: (staring at the insane Brock, who is now pretending to be a pig) so, how do we get him back to normal?
Misty: who cares? I'm horny! (Tackles Ash and sends the both of them flying into a thick bush)
(A few moments later, articles of clothing fly out of the bush and land on the Brock, who by now is pretending to be a fly.)
Narrator: oh well, back to our heroes.
(The scene changes back to our heroes, in some sort of warehouse.)
Jolteon: (brushing dust of self) oh great. Now where did that magic wand microphone take us?
Umbreon: (looking around) it seems to be some sort of warehouse.(looks down at the ground) oh, look! A jellybean! (Runs toward it)
Jellybean: (in a high, squeaky voice) don't eat me! Don't eat me!
Umbreon: (looking down at the jellybean) and why not?
Jellybean: because I'm a jellybean of certain doom!
Umbreon: really?
Jellybean: sure! (Explodes, leaving our heroes quite blackened and charred)
Jolteon: (pointing) um, I think you should see this.
(The camera swings to show some crates toppling over to reveal masses of jellybeans)
Umbreon: this does NOT look good.
Jolteon: I agree.
Umbreon: RUN FOR IT!!!!!
(Our heroes run through a door that has somehow appeared in the wall, just as huge explosions tear the air behind them.)
Jolteon: (wiping sweat off brow with a paw) now where Are we?
Umbreon: (pulling out book of secrets) well, according to the map, we're in the middle of flower's closet of stuff.
Jolteon: (looks around) hello, what's this large machine in the corner?
Umbreon: (running up and reading sign on lever) flower's doom machine. Do not pull this lever as it will spell doom for the whole closet of stuff. Repeat: do not pull this lever.
Jolteon: aah, what's all this fuss about.(Pulls the lever)
(A siren begins to whine and overhead lights flash)
Umbreon: great. Now we're gonna be blown up.
Jolteon: look at it this way, it's better than being lost forever and slowly starving to death?
Umbreon: makes sense.
Flower's doom Machine : initializing countdown.3.2.1.
(There is a HUGE explosion as the closet of stuff explodes, leaving a nice black scorch flower in the Author's Lounge, and our two heroes in the middle of it, charred.)
Narrator: (idly chewing on a brick) ah, so there you are. I've been looking all over for you.
Jolteon: (gasping) good.to.see.you.
(Both our heroes collapse)
Narrator: oh well, and so ends another silly episode of Eskimo Jolteon! Do stay tuned for the next episode!
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^