Author's Note: all right, this will be the last episode for quite some
time.for my exams are coming on the 9th of May, and therefore I will not be
able to write EJ during this period of time. My exams will finish on the
23rd of May, if you want more episodes you'll just have to wait until then,
unless I actually go and write. (Which is extremely unlikely anyway.) So
there.
Narrator: (coming out of nowhere) and so, we once again have...the disclaimer gift!
(Lights and music. A big flashing neon sign reading 'the disclaimer gift' lowers from the ceiling.)
Narrator: da de dum de dum! And as usual, we have...our lovely Kitty to do the disclaimer!
Dawn: (walking out from nowhere) yep...and what's this episode's disclaimer gift? (Rubs paws)
Narrator: yes! For this episode's disclaimer gift, we have...a big disclaimer gift box made out of starch! (Gestures towards veiled item. It lifts, revealing a big box labeled 'disclaimer gifts'.)
Dawn: all right...Lccorp2 does not own pokemon, nor does he own any other characters not created by him. He also does not own the whole world, although if he did, he'd make nice and savvy postage stamps for everyone. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha. So there.
Narrator: fine.(hands the box over)
Dawn: (takes the box and chews on it thoughtfully) doesn't taste quite bad.(munch)
Narrator: oh well.^^;
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 75:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon sitting down lazing on the couch.)
Umbreon: (suddenly coming in) I think there's something wrong with my tongue.
Jolteon: (lazily opening an eye) huh?
Umbreon: you see, whenever I try to say 'bhra la la la la la', it always comes out as 'bhra za za za za za'.do you think that there's something wrong with my tongue?
Jolteon: I think there's something wrong with your whole head. Now leave me alone. (Turns over and falls asleep).
Umbreon: (running out into the night screaming hysterically) AUGH! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TONGUE! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TONGUE!
Jolteon: (sigh)
Narrator: meanwhile, far, far away, just to keep you all folks out there distracted.
(The scene changes to Ash and co, evidently lost in some forest again for the umpteenth time. They are in a small clearing.)
Ash: (noticing something falling from the sky) dur.wad's dat? (Points up.)
Brock: ook ook eek eek ook! (Translation: I don't know, but whatever it is, I don't care.)
(Camera locks onto the falling object as it floats down to the ground. As it draws closer, it seems to be a red and purple egg falling down, attached to a parachute.)
Ash: (picking the egg up) dur.wud's dis? (Reads attached card on egg) huppie eaztur frum de Esquemoe Jawteeawn kru.
Brock: ook! Eek eek ook eek ook ook! (Translation: chocolate egg! Gimme! Now! Or face certain death!)
Ash: naw! Mah chocklit egg!
(Suddenly, the egg explodes, leaving nothing but a nice 10-meter radius crater where Ash and Brock once stood.)
(A UFO flies by.)
UFO: (hovering above the crater) oh no! they killed Ash! The bastards! (Flies off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Espeon's and Vaporeon's igloo. We see the two Eevee pups sitting in the living room.)
Pup 1: (squealing excitedly) look, brother! (Rushes to window)
Pup 2: (looks up from book) what? (Looks slightly surprised, then faces camera) hey, whenever did we get voices? We were just born several months ago!
Narrator: well, do you want the speaking role, or not? (Folds arms)
Pup 2: (nodding vigorously) yes!
Narrator: then don't complain about such silly things.
Pup 1: the Easter Whismur is in our yard!
Pup 2: yeah.(looks at camera) everyone knows those things don't exist.
Pup 1: it's doing a spring dance, and it's hiding eggs in the snow.
Pup 2: yes...
Pup 1: I think I'll go out and gather up all the eggs. (Walks out)
Pup 2: (without looking up from book) why don't you go do that, dear sister.
Pup 1: (returns with a basket full of chocolate eggs)
Pup 2: (stares)
Pup 1: (munches on a chocolate egg) you sure miss a lot when you stay inside and read all day, brother...
Narrator: anyway...
(The scene changes to the AL, where we see Mewwy drinking cola.)
Narrator: (coming in) hi.
Mewchu11: hi.
Narrator: (eyes the cola, than snatches it away)
Mewchu11: you took away my cola!
Narrator: of course.it's all for EJ, this little experiment.
Mewchu11: (gulp)
Narrator: 10 seconds...subject shows indication of fear. 30 seconds.symptoms of panic surface...42 seconds, eyes appear glazed, subject begins to perspire heavily...50 seconds, subject screams crazily, runs around in circles.55 seconds, subject foams at the mouth...60 seconds, subject passes out!
(I stare at the unconscious Mewwy for a while.)
Narrator: cola taken from subject...subject loses consciousness due to lack of caffeine. Cola restored to subject...(pours the cola onto Mewwy)
(Mewchu11 wakes up)
Narrator: subject recovers! What a great experiment for the amusement of my fellow authors!
Mewchu11: (shaking violently) cola.must...have...cola...
Narrator: oh well. Meanwhile...
(The scene changes to somewhere out among the ice floes at nighttime. We see Flareon stumbling around, evidently very drunk on berry juice.)
Umbreon: (running crazily) AUGH! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TONGUE! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TONGUE!
(Umbreon bumps into Flareon)
Flareon: (hiccups)
Umbreon: (looks at the drunken Flareon for a while, then a big bulb appears over his head) hello, you poor thing, why don't you go home? (Fits a pair of bunny ears onto Flareon's head.)
Flareon: (hiccups)
Umbreon: (pushes Flareon off in the direction of Espeon's igloo) now go home.heheheh.
(Flareon stumbles off)
(As Flareon approaches the igloo, he trips and falls face-first into the snow.)
Flareon: (so loud it can be heard for kilometers in all directions) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (Insert string of extremely vulgar and crude phrases here)
(The camera zooms into the igloo)
Pup 1: (tugging at Vaporeon's tail) mommy! Mommy!
Vaporeon: yes, dearie?
Pup 1: the Easter Whismus is in out back yard swearing!
Flareon: (from outside) (Insert appropriate sentences of extremely inappropriate words for the PG-13 rating of this fic here)
Vaporeon: (listens for a while, then shudders and quickly covers the Pup's ears) I think it's bedtime for you, and you ought to put in earplugs.(leads the pup away)
Espeon: (looking up from newspaper0 I suppose I'll have to get rid of that thing, whatever it is.(concentrates for a while. Flareon disappears.)
Vaporeon: where did you put that thing, Espie?
Espeon: about 500 meters above a certain yellow rat.
Vaporeon: oh.
(The scene changes to Pikachu, looking upwards. Something is causing a neat circular shadow above it.)
Pikachu: pika?
(Flareon smashes into pikachu, leaving a nice crater and a mangled pulp.)
Flareon: ooh.my head.(Pukes onto the remains of Pikachu, then lopes off.)
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: and so ends the Eskimo Jolteon Easter special, brought to you by me!
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^
Narrator: (coming out of nowhere) and so, we once again have...the disclaimer gift!
(Lights and music. A big flashing neon sign reading 'the disclaimer gift' lowers from the ceiling.)
Narrator: da de dum de dum! And as usual, we have...our lovely Kitty to do the disclaimer!
Dawn: (walking out from nowhere) yep...and what's this episode's disclaimer gift? (Rubs paws)
Narrator: yes! For this episode's disclaimer gift, we have...a big disclaimer gift box made out of starch! (Gestures towards veiled item. It lifts, revealing a big box labeled 'disclaimer gifts'.)
Dawn: all right...Lccorp2 does not own pokemon, nor does he own any other characters not created by him. He also does not own the whole world, although if he did, he'd make nice and savvy postage stamps for everyone. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha. So there.
Narrator: fine.(hands the box over)
Dawn: (takes the box and chews on it thoughtfully) doesn't taste quite bad.(munch)
Narrator: oh well.^^;
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 75:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon sitting down lazing on the couch.)
Umbreon: (suddenly coming in) I think there's something wrong with my tongue.
Jolteon: (lazily opening an eye) huh?
Umbreon: you see, whenever I try to say 'bhra la la la la la', it always comes out as 'bhra za za za za za'.do you think that there's something wrong with my tongue?
Jolteon: I think there's something wrong with your whole head. Now leave me alone. (Turns over and falls asleep).
Umbreon: (running out into the night screaming hysterically) AUGH! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TONGUE! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TONGUE!
Jolteon: (sigh)
Narrator: meanwhile, far, far away, just to keep you all folks out there distracted.
(The scene changes to Ash and co, evidently lost in some forest again for the umpteenth time. They are in a small clearing.)
Ash: (noticing something falling from the sky) dur.wad's dat? (Points up.)
Brock: ook ook eek eek ook! (Translation: I don't know, but whatever it is, I don't care.)
(Camera locks onto the falling object as it floats down to the ground. As it draws closer, it seems to be a red and purple egg falling down, attached to a parachute.)
Ash: (picking the egg up) dur.wud's dis? (Reads attached card on egg) huppie eaztur frum de Esquemoe Jawteeawn kru.
Brock: ook! Eek eek ook eek ook ook! (Translation: chocolate egg! Gimme! Now! Or face certain death!)
Ash: naw! Mah chocklit egg!
(Suddenly, the egg explodes, leaving nothing but a nice 10-meter radius crater where Ash and Brock once stood.)
(A UFO flies by.)
UFO: (hovering above the crater) oh no! they killed Ash! The bastards! (Flies off)
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Espeon's and Vaporeon's igloo. We see the two Eevee pups sitting in the living room.)
Pup 1: (squealing excitedly) look, brother! (Rushes to window)
Pup 2: (looks up from book) what? (Looks slightly surprised, then faces camera) hey, whenever did we get voices? We were just born several months ago!
Narrator: well, do you want the speaking role, or not? (Folds arms)
Pup 2: (nodding vigorously) yes!
Narrator: then don't complain about such silly things.
Pup 1: the Easter Whismur is in our yard!
Pup 2: yeah.(looks at camera) everyone knows those things don't exist.
Pup 1: it's doing a spring dance, and it's hiding eggs in the snow.
Pup 2: yes...
Pup 1: I think I'll go out and gather up all the eggs. (Walks out)
Pup 2: (without looking up from book) why don't you go do that, dear sister.
Pup 1: (returns with a basket full of chocolate eggs)
Pup 2: (stares)
Pup 1: (munches on a chocolate egg) you sure miss a lot when you stay inside and read all day, brother...
Narrator: anyway...
(The scene changes to the AL, where we see Mewwy drinking cola.)
Narrator: (coming in) hi.
Mewchu11: hi.
Narrator: (eyes the cola, than snatches it away)
Mewchu11: you took away my cola!
Narrator: of course.it's all for EJ, this little experiment.
Mewchu11: (gulp)
Narrator: 10 seconds...subject shows indication of fear. 30 seconds.symptoms of panic surface...42 seconds, eyes appear glazed, subject begins to perspire heavily...50 seconds, subject screams crazily, runs around in circles.55 seconds, subject foams at the mouth...60 seconds, subject passes out!
(I stare at the unconscious Mewwy for a while.)
Narrator: cola taken from subject...subject loses consciousness due to lack of caffeine. Cola restored to subject...(pours the cola onto Mewwy)
(Mewchu11 wakes up)
Narrator: subject recovers! What a great experiment for the amusement of my fellow authors!
Mewchu11: (shaking violently) cola.must...have...cola...
Narrator: oh well. Meanwhile...
(The scene changes to somewhere out among the ice floes at nighttime. We see Flareon stumbling around, evidently very drunk on berry juice.)
Umbreon: (running crazily) AUGH! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TONGUE! THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY TONGUE!
(Umbreon bumps into Flareon)
Flareon: (hiccups)
Umbreon: (looks at the drunken Flareon for a while, then a big bulb appears over his head) hello, you poor thing, why don't you go home? (Fits a pair of bunny ears onto Flareon's head.)
Flareon: (hiccups)
Umbreon: (pushes Flareon off in the direction of Espeon's igloo) now go home.heheheh.
(Flareon stumbles off)
(As Flareon approaches the igloo, he trips and falls face-first into the snow.)
Flareon: (so loud it can be heard for kilometers in all directions) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (Insert string of extremely vulgar and crude phrases here)
(The camera zooms into the igloo)
Pup 1: (tugging at Vaporeon's tail) mommy! Mommy!
Vaporeon: yes, dearie?
Pup 1: the Easter Whismus is in out back yard swearing!
Flareon: (from outside) (Insert appropriate sentences of extremely inappropriate words for the PG-13 rating of this fic here)
Vaporeon: (listens for a while, then shudders and quickly covers the Pup's ears) I think it's bedtime for you, and you ought to put in earplugs.(leads the pup away)
Espeon: (looking up from newspaper0 I suppose I'll have to get rid of that thing, whatever it is.(concentrates for a while. Flareon disappears.)
Vaporeon: where did you put that thing, Espie?
Espeon: about 500 meters above a certain yellow rat.
Vaporeon: oh.
(The scene changes to Pikachu, looking upwards. Something is causing a neat circular shadow above it.)
Pikachu: pika?
(Flareon smashes into pikachu, leaving a nice crater and a mangled pulp.)
Flareon: ooh.my head.(Pukes onto the remains of Pikachu, then lopes off.)
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: and so ends the Eskimo Jolteon Easter special, brought to you by me!
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^