Author's note: all right, so I broke my promise and I'm writing now. Ahem.
Bwa ha ha and all that other crap anyway, I suppose I don't have to study
all day and all night, I'll just study all day, despite my mom's constant
bugging me to study all night and all day. Bwa ha ha. Anyway, in here I
have the 76th episode, brought to you by my currently insane, deranged
mind, which should not even be on this earth. Bwa ha ha. Stupid exams.
Narrator: (pulling away curtain) and so, for the 76th time, we have the disclaimer, brought to you by my lovely Kitty!
(Drumroll sounds)
Dawn: (walking onto stage) yep, it's me, you friendly person who does the disclaimer!
Narrator: that's right, and for this episode's disclaimer gift we have...a soft lovely basket for Eeveelutions to sleep in! Holds a maximum of two at any time! (Holds it up)
Dawn: (arches an eyebrow)
Narrator: it's just a disclaimer gift.-_-
Dawn: ^^; all right...Lccorp2 does not own pokemon, nor does he own any other characters not created by him. Nope. He doesn't make any money from this anyway, and the sky is falling. (Twitches her tail)
Narrator: ok...(gives her the soft, cushioned basket) is the sky really falling? (Looks up) AUUUGGGHHH! The sky IS falling! (Takes cover)
(Camera goes black with a 'whup' sound.)
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 76:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon sleeping on the couch.)
Flareon: (comes in with a coffee pot in one paw)
Jolteon: (opens one eye, then screams) NO! NO COFFEE! TV DESTROYER!!!!! (Huddles in a corner)
Flareon: (looking at the cowering Jolteon) fine...(puts the coffee pot down on the table) and by the way, it's no ordinary coffee, it's Flareon's insidious syrup. Bwahaha. (Leaves)
Jolteon: (whimpers and peeks at the coffee pot sitting there) evil.coffee.
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Tracey HQ. We see the Evil Tracey sitting down staring at a magazine.)
Tracey: bwahaha! I have it!
Darth Gary: (coming in) yes?
Tracey: I have a new plan to take over the world!
Darth Gary: excellent, Master. And what is it?
Tracey: (wildly gesturing with one hand) I will flood everyone's e-mail inboxes with porno ads till their brains explode!
Darth Gary: (rolling eyes) that's already been tried, Master.
Tracey: (thinks) well, you're right.how about this? (Points to something in the magazine.)
(Camera zooms in onto the magazine. The front cover is titled 'Evil Illustrated'.)
Darth Gary: (taking the magazine and reading from it) how to make your own evil gelatinous cube that will consume everything in its path. An easy step- by-step guide to creation, modification and deployment.
Tracey: yep, that's about it.(takes back magazine)
Narrator: and now let me create a completely pointless diversion for a while.
(The scene changes to Ash Ketchum's home in Pallet town.)
Ash: dur...mama me am hum.
(A meteorite streaks through the sky and lands on Ash, effectively vaporizing him and everything in a fifty-meter radius.)
(A UFO flies by)
UFO: oh my god! They killed Ash! The bastards! (Flies off)
Narrator: and now we interrupt this program for a very important announcement.
(Scene changes to the AL, where I am dressed in a suit and a tie.)
Narrator: (fidgeting) I hate this thing. Why do I have to wear it? (Looks at camera.) oh yes. Today, we are here to have...Lccorp2's recommended fic for whenever he likes to recommend fics! This time's fic is 'The Anthro Gang', written by Fierystreak. And remember, it's an Lccorp2-approved fic, so you know it's good for you!
Fierystreak: (poking face into camera) yeah...
Narrator: research shows that if you read a fic a day, you will have a five percent increase in insaneness! So what are you waiting for? Read a fic today!
(Scene changes to Jolteon's igloo)
Jolteon: (huddled up still staring at the coffee pot on the table) evil...coffee...(slowly creeps towards the table) (stares at coffee some more)
(As Jolteon approaches the coffee, the pot starts to rock of its own accord.)
Jolteon: (cringes)
(The coffee in the pot extends a hand and thwaps Jolteon, knocking him to the ground)
Jolteon: (dazed) that's STRONG coffee...
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Flareon, leaning against a wall.)
Flareon: (sigh)
Pup 2: (walking along, carrying a pillow) what's wrong, uncle Flareon?
Flareon: I'm depressed...no one seems to like my coffee...I need a few words to cheer me up.
Pup 2: (sits down and thinks for a while) happiness is like a pink cloud on the horizon, seemingly there but we never reach it!
Flareon: (looking at Pup 2 incredulously) what do you know? You're only seven months old!
Pup 2: I dunno...my mommy says I'm an intellectual like my daddy, while my sissy says I'm just plain weird. I'm not sure...all I mostly do is to stay home and read. (Sucks on thumb)
Flareon: (scratching head with a paw) all right, what do you read?
Pup 2: well, I liked War and Peace, Quantum Physics is nice too...(thinks) I just finished the complete stories of Sherlock Holmes last night...
Flareon: 0o;;;
Pup 2: (continuing) I tried talking to the preschool teacher about differentiation and integration, but all she did was to look at me oddly. (Sucks on thumb some more)
Flareon: dear Mew...and what does your daddy think of this?
Pup 2: well, I'm not sure, but he seemed rather pleased when I drew out the structural formulae of all the different isomers of glucose on a sheet of paper two days ago.
Flareon: don't you have any friends?
Pup 2: (thinking) well, I like talking to the Seel next door about Mozart...(looks up at Flareon) anything else, sir?
Flareon: nope, be on your way...
(Pup 2 walks off, dragging the pillow alongside him)
Flareon: (watching Pup 2 leave) I wonder why he keeps that pillow with him...
Narrator: meanwhile...
(The scene changes to outside Jolteon's igloo. The Evil Gelatinous Cube oozes into view.)
Evil Gelatinous Cube: (blorp)
(Evil Gelatinous Cube continues oozing towards the igloo.)
Jolteon: (looking out of window) oh great. Yet another annoyance.
Evil Gelatinous Cube: raaa! Me Evil Gelatinous Cube! Me eat you now!
Jolteon: (sighs and runs far, far away from the igloo.)
Evil Gelatinous Cube: raaa! No run away! Me eat you!
(The Evil Gelatinous Cube engulfs the igloo.)
Evil Gelatinous Cube: eep.
Narrator: Flareon's Insidious Syrup's caffeine -:--:-*-:--*- SUPERNOVAS -*--:-*-:--:- the Evil Gelatinous Cube! [574] The Evil Gelatinous Cube is DEAD! The Evil Gelatinous Cube spills it's contents out onto the floor.
Jolteon: (coming out and examining the stuff on the floor) dead pikachu carcasses...Playpoke magazines...cookies...and how odd, Darth Gary's helmet. I wonder where this thing has been...oh well, beast to get a broom and sweep this mess up. (Produces a broom from nowhere and starts sweeping)
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: and so ends another episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^
Narrator: (pulling away curtain) and so, for the 76th time, we have the disclaimer, brought to you by my lovely Kitty!
(Drumroll sounds)
Dawn: (walking onto stage) yep, it's me, you friendly person who does the disclaimer!
Narrator: that's right, and for this episode's disclaimer gift we have...a soft lovely basket for Eeveelutions to sleep in! Holds a maximum of two at any time! (Holds it up)
Dawn: (arches an eyebrow)
Narrator: it's just a disclaimer gift.-_-
Dawn: ^^; all right...Lccorp2 does not own pokemon, nor does he own any other characters not created by him. Nope. He doesn't make any money from this anyway, and the sky is falling. (Twitches her tail)
Narrator: ok...(gives her the soft, cushioned basket) is the sky really falling? (Looks up) AUUUGGGHHH! The sky IS falling! (Takes cover)
(Camera goes black with a 'whup' sound.)
Eskimo Jolteon Episode 76:
A Short, silly Brain-dead fan-fic by Lccorp2. Copyright Lccorp2 2002. ^_^
Narrator (me that is): picture the pokemon world in your head.
Narrator: now focus in a bit in a place above Johto, a place that is always frozen.
Narrator: now focus in on a medium-sized igloo somewhere.
Narrator: STOP!!! ^_^.
(Camera zooms into igloo. We see Jolteon sleeping on the couch.)
Flareon: (comes in with a coffee pot in one paw)
Jolteon: (opens one eye, then screams) NO! NO COFFEE! TV DESTROYER!!!!! (Huddles in a corner)
Flareon: (looking at the cowering Jolteon) fine...(puts the coffee pot down on the table) and by the way, it's no ordinary coffee, it's Flareon's insidious syrup. Bwahaha. (Leaves)
Jolteon: (whimpers and peeks at the coffee pot sitting there) evil.coffee.
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Tracey HQ. We see the Evil Tracey sitting down staring at a magazine.)
Tracey: bwahaha! I have it!
Darth Gary: (coming in) yes?
Tracey: I have a new plan to take over the world!
Darth Gary: excellent, Master. And what is it?
Tracey: (wildly gesturing with one hand) I will flood everyone's e-mail inboxes with porno ads till their brains explode!
Darth Gary: (rolling eyes) that's already been tried, Master.
Tracey: (thinks) well, you're right.how about this? (Points to something in the magazine.)
(Camera zooms in onto the magazine. The front cover is titled 'Evil Illustrated'.)
Darth Gary: (taking the magazine and reading from it) how to make your own evil gelatinous cube that will consume everything in its path. An easy step- by-step guide to creation, modification and deployment.
Tracey: yep, that's about it.(takes back magazine)
Narrator: and now let me create a completely pointless diversion for a while.
(The scene changes to Ash Ketchum's home in Pallet town.)
Ash: dur...mama me am hum.
(A meteorite streaks through the sky and lands on Ash, effectively vaporizing him and everything in a fifty-meter radius.)
(A UFO flies by)
UFO: oh my god! They killed Ash! The bastards! (Flies off)
Narrator: and now we interrupt this program for a very important announcement.
(Scene changes to the AL, where I am dressed in a suit and a tie.)
Narrator: (fidgeting) I hate this thing. Why do I have to wear it? (Looks at camera.) oh yes. Today, we are here to have...Lccorp2's recommended fic for whenever he likes to recommend fics! This time's fic is 'The Anthro Gang', written by Fierystreak. And remember, it's an Lccorp2-approved fic, so you know it's good for you!
Fierystreak: (poking face into camera) yeah...
Narrator: research shows that if you read a fic a day, you will have a five percent increase in insaneness! So what are you waiting for? Read a fic today!
(Scene changes to Jolteon's igloo)
Jolteon: (huddled up still staring at the coffee pot on the table) evil...coffee...(slowly creeps towards the table) (stares at coffee some more)
(As Jolteon approaches the coffee, the pot starts to rock of its own accord.)
Jolteon: (cringes)
(The coffee in the pot extends a hand and thwaps Jolteon, knocking him to the ground)
Jolteon: (dazed) that's STRONG coffee...
Narrator: meanwhile.
(The scene changes to Flareon, leaning against a wall.)
Flareon: (sigh)
Pup 2: (walking along, carrying a pillow) what's wrong, uncle Flareon?
Flareon: I'm depressed...no one seems to like my coffee...I need a few words to cheer me up.
Pup 2: (sits down and thinks for a while) happiness is like a pink cloud on the horizon, seemingly there but we never reach it!
Flareon: (looking at Pup 2 incredulously) what do you know? You're only seven months old!
Pup 2: I dunno...my mommy says I'm an intellectual like my daddy, while my sissy says I'm just plain weird. I'm not sure...all I mostly do is to stay home and read. (Sucks on thumb)
Flareon: (scratching head with a paw) all right, what do you read?
Pup 2: well, I liked War and Peace, Quantum Physics is nice too...(thinks) I just finished the complete stories of Sherlock Holmes last night...
Flareon: 0o;;;
Pup 2: (continuing) I tried talking to the preschool teacher about differentiation and integration, but all she did was to look at me oddly. (Sucks on thumb some more)
Flareon: dear Mew...and what does your daddy think of this?
Pup 2: well, I'm not sure, but he seemed rather pleased when I drew out the structural formulae of all the different isomers of glucose on a sheet of paper two days ago.
Flareon: don't you have any friends?
Pup 2: (thinking) well, I like talking to the Seel next door about Mozart...(looks up at Flareon) anything else, sir?
Flareon: nope, be on your way...
(Pup 2 walks off, dragging the pillow alongside him)
Flareon: (watching Pup 2 leave) I wonder why he keeps that pillow with him...
Narrator: meanwhile...
(The scene changes to outside Jolteon's igloo. The Evil Gelatinous Cube oozes into view.)
Evil Gelatinous Cube: (blorp)
(Evil Gelatinous Cube continues oozing towards the igloo.)
Jolteon: (looking out of window) oh great. Yet another annoyance.
Evil Gelatinous Cube: raaa! Me Evil Gelatinous Cube! Me eat you now!
Jolteon: (sighs and runs far, far away from the igloo.)
Evil Gelatinous Cube: raaa! No run away! Me eat you!
(The Evil Gelatinous Cube engulfs the igloo.)
Evil Gelatinous Cube: eep.
Narrator: Flareon's Insidious Syrup's caffeine -:--:-*-:--*- SUPERNOVAS -*--:-*-:--:- the Evil Gelatinous Cube! [574] The Evil Gelatinous Cube is DEAD! The Evil Gelatinous Cube spills it's contents out onto the floor.
Jolteon: (coming out and examining the stuff on the floor) dead pikachu carcasses...Playpoke magazines...cookies...and how odd, Darth Gary's helmet. I wonder where this thing has been...oh well, beast to get a broom and sweep this mess up. (Produces a broom from nowhere and starts sweeping)
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: and so ends another episode of Eskimo Jolteon!
How'd you like this silly story? Please review! ^_^