- chapter 4
-----


The next day after classes had ended and his patrolling had begun, Seifer finally had the chance to let his mind wander.

He thought back to the day before. He still felt heavy with weight of guilt, for he hadn't seen nor spoken to Fujin or Raijin since their scuffle, giving him no time to even pretend nothing was wrong between the three of them. Seifer decided that as soon as he had a break, he would seek out either of his fellow posse members and see if they would still listen to his suggestion that he may have.... possibly... overreacted.

Something continued to bother him about the previous night. Seifer had gone to the Training Center to blow off some steam, but it didn't help him the way he thought it would have. He suddenly felt like he was back when he had just had that conversation with Fujin about Zell's little question. Why hadn't it helped like it should have though?

Well, Seifer did run into the tattooed blonde, but nothing more then the usual exchange of insults and threats occurred. Nothing out of the ordinary. But what was that feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him that there was more to it then that?

He thought back to what was said between him and Zell. Not much was said... but something important had happened. He searched his brain for an answer. What was it?

The more Seifer thought about it, the more he began to realize ...there was no real threat last night, was there? But how could that be? The martial artist had his hand gripped in Seifer's collar -and he had even made to push him off -but there was no threat between them. There wasn't any threat coming from them standing there like that. Shouldn't there have been?

The scared blonde could swear that there shouldn't have been some kind -any kind- of a threatening atmosphere in that kind of situation. So why didn't he feel it? What happened between them that made the situation not feel threatening?

Seifer's mind dwelled on this for much of the rest of his patrol, up until he realized he could take a break. Then he immediately sought out his posse as to... clear things up between the three of them.

The first person he found was Raijin, who was mulling about the entrance to the Training Center, not necessarily entering it, but standing outside, watching someone who would walk in or out of the center. Seifer asked Raijin where the third member of their posse was, to which he got the answer Around the Quad. So he then told the large man to meet up with him around dinner in the Cafeteria later, to which Raijin agreed, and left to go speak with Fujin.

He found her observing people walking the stairs to the Quad, with the occasional shout of IDIOT. RUNNING. when someone was running on the stairs. She turned to spot Seifer walking towards her, he tripped down some stairs. IDIOT. RUSHING. she had commented as he quickly straighten himself out and giving a quick glare to anyone who might have seen him trip.

, she asked, eying him quizzically.

What? Apologize? What for?, the scared blonde replied defensively. She gave him an one eyed glare, and then turned away from him to continue patrolling the steps.

Dammit, Fujin. Okay, okay.

She turned back to face him, facial expression not any warmer.

I'm ...sorry.... I overreacted yesterday. he murmured, looking down at the ground, more out of self consciousness then anything else. She gave a shadow of a half smile.

Then, telling her the same that he had just told Raijin, he promptly rushed back to his post for the day, for his break was just about over.


Nothing worth mentioning must have happened among any of their patrols, for when they finally met up in the Cafeteria, Fujin and Raijin seemed to be waiting for Seifer to say something. Taken back, although he didn't show it, he sat down at the table which they had begun to claim as their own, for they now usually congregated there, and no one else dared to sit there -not even when the Disciplinary Committee wasn't around.

A few moments passed in an awkward silence. Seifer looked back and forth between the two, they were both looking at him.

, he asked as if he didn't know the answer. Fujin glared at him again.

We wanted ta know what's been bothering you lately, ya know? We've kinda.... been worrying.... ya know?, Raijin stated. Fujin gave him a look of agreement.

What do you mean what's been bothering' me lately?, Seifer asked, a little bit concededly.

YOU. DISTRACTED., Fujin said coldly, whatever warmth in her before in the Quad now gone. Yeah, Fujin's right - you've been kind of distracted lately, like something's been wrong, ya know? Raijin added.

Seifer looked away from his posse to across the large room. He took a breath. What was wrong with him? Nothing's been wrong with him, he was fine. He looked back to them.

Nothing's been bothering me, I feel fine.

Bull shit., came from Fujin, quickly and quietly slipping out of her speech pattern. She continued.

You've been acting really off lately... practically ever since you came to me telling me you wanted to know what the hell Zell meant by that question. Fujin and Raijin did use Zell's name from time to time, but it was only when things got serious, like now.

Seifer paused in his train of thought. Ever since the had that talk with Fujin... He thought back to the time around then... He felt a pang of guilt. There were a few times when he guess he'd been a little short fused with his two closest friends... but why?

Seifer, we are worried about you, the least you can do is tell us what's wrong. Fujin stated, a look of mixed concern and anger on her face. He suddenly felt really stupid.

He swallowed his pride, and spoke. Listen, I'm sorry -I guess I have been an asshole lately he didn't look them in the eye and well.... I don't know what's wrong with me. Fujin's face softened to less then marble, and Raijin smiled. Well, what's been upsetting ya lately? the large man asked, apparently relieved that their posse was no longer at odds.

The scared blonde thought. Then he remembered what Fujin had said earlier. She'd said that he'd been acting off ever since he came to her for help with that question. The question about why he never left Zell alone...

he abruptly shouted, making his posse jump in their sits a bit. What is it? Fujin had asked, not letting the sudden outburst startle her.

It's Zell! Seifer shouted in realization. Then he paused. Fujin and Raijin were looking at him like he just showed up dressed like Squall. he asked urgently, slightly angry that they weren't paying attention to what he had to say. You -You just said Zell', you never called him by his name -it's always been Chickenwuss' or something, ya know? Raijin replied. This was true, unlike the other members of the posse, Seifer did not call Zell Dincht by his name -not even in times of emergency or seriousness.

Then another realization came upon him.

He'd been using instead of the usual for a day or so now. Ever since-

What's going on? the silver haired woman asked. I -I ran into him last night... in the training center, after I walked out on you guys... and I said his name... Seifer started, running things over in his head again.

You did? What happened, ya know? Raijin questioned.

Fujin asked.

Seifer answered as if he didn't hear Raijin. I don't know! We argued... No, they didn't argue. No, we... well, he had the front of my shirt... and I was gonna push him away... but we stood there for a while... and I said his name.

As if she asked why?' again, which she was about to, he answered. And I don't know why! And Fujin -you said that I had been acting weird since I talked to you about that question, about why I never leave Zell alone... Seifer slammed his hand against the table. But what did this mean?!

A moment of silence passed by them. So I was right... you do like getting his attention. If what your telling us is true, last night -you had all of his attention. Fujin spoke slowly, working things out for herself.

But that still doesn't tell me why I said his name! I -I... Seifer trailed off, mind too swamped with thoughts twisting around his brain causing confusion. He was fed up with all this.

Well, now you know what's been bothering me. I think I'm going to go to bed. and with that, Seifer stood up and once again and left his posse to wonder about his behavior.