ACT II, SCENE V: The Forest
*lights go up"
Me: *running in with Ron* Wait a second, everyone!
*lights go back down*
Me: We have a fiasco on our hands.
Oliver: This whole play's been a fiasco.
Me: One of the actors has deserted us!
Draco: *from inside the glass coffin* Well, hurry it up, I can't stand being inside this box thingy much longer!
Me: It's called a coffin, stupid. Now everyone over here! *Everyone comes over, including Draco* Ron, tell them what you found.
Ron: I found this in Fleur's dressing room. *holds out a note*
Draco: *reads it* "I refuse to touch that stupid little British boy, much less kiss him. Find a new princess. Good luck. Signed, Fleur Delacour." Hey! I am not a stupid little British boy!
Ron: Well, you're stupid and British, but I'm not sure about the last one...
Draco: Shut up, Weasley! What were you doing in her dressing room, anyway?
Ron: Umm... nothing.
Draco: Yeah, right.
Me: Now, let's not start making accusations, here. We need a new princess, and the only girls here are Hermione and Ginny.
Hermione: I'm not doing it!
Ginnny: Me neither!
Draco: *whines* No one likes me anymore!
Ron: No one ever liked you in the first place.
Me: Well, if neither Hermione nor Ginny will do it, then we'll just have to discontinue the fic.
All but Me: YAY!
Me: But wait! I have an idea!
All but Me: Damn!
Me: Yes… yes, it just might work! Of course, it will be very controversial. But that's what makes it fun!
Draco: What's she talking about?
Ginny: I don't know, but I'd be afraid if I were you.
Draco: Oh joy. Mercury, what are you plotting?!
Me: Well I can't tell you now! That would ruin the surprise! Places, everyone! *every goes to their places* Okay… ACTION!
*light go up*
ACT II, SCENE V: The Forest
Dwarves: *enter sobbing* He's dead! He's dead!
Oliver: Our beloved prince is... DEAD!
Colin: He has gone to a better place!
Seamus: Shuffled loose the mortal coil!
Bob: Kicked the bucket!
*Hermione and Ginny come in carrying the glass coffin with Draco inside. Goyle comes in last*
Hermione and Ginny: *sniff*
Goyle: *sniff*
*Suddenly a coach-looking thing crosses paths with them. Remus Lupin is driving it.*
Lupin: Excuse me, what's going on here? I'm in a bit of a hurry.
Oliver: This is a funeral procession! Have some respect!
Lupin: Whose funeral?
Colin: The prince. *sniff*
Lupin: He's dead?
Dwarves: Yes.
Lupin: He's the reason we were coming here! I'm delivering a marriage proposal from another kingdom!
Ron: Too late.
Remus: Well, my charge will want to pay the appropriate respects. *the coach door opens, and out steps… HARRY POTTER!*
Draco: WHAT?!
Me: Hey, you're supposed to be dead! And I had to bribe him to do this, so you'd better cooperate!
Draco: I AM NOT GOING TO KISS POTTER!
Me: Oh, come on…
Draco: NO!
Me: Well, I could do it instead…
Draco: Ummm… never mind.
Me: I knew you'd see it my way. Okay, ACTION!
Harry: Where's Prince Draco?
Oliver: The person you came to see is dead.
Harry: *sniff* I never got to meet him.
Oliver: Sneezy, Bashful, bring the coffin over here so the prince can pay his respects.
*They walk over. Suddenly, Hermione trips over a tree root and the coffin goes flying into a bush*
All: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Voice from within the bushes: What the... where am I? Oh… head… hurts…
Oliver: Who goes there?
Draco: *comes out of the bushes* It's just me.
All: HE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: Ooh. He's cute.
Draco: What just happened?
Oliver: You were dead!
Colin: The magic bush woke him up!
All: *stares at Colin*
Colin: What?
*Draco and Harry look into each other's eyes. Sappy music starts*
Harry & Draco: I love you. Will you marry me?
Draco & Harry: Of course, because I just think you're so sexy! *smooches abound*
Lupin: That was... abrupt.
Dwarves: Yay!! A wedding!
*everyone rides off into the sunset*
Me: *as the Mirror* And so it ends. The King was confined to a mental ward for the rest of his days, Draco and Harry went to Canada and got married, and everyone lived happily ever after.
*fade to black*
*****~~~THE END~~~****
Me: Well, that was excellent! Bravo, all of you!
Ron: I'm just glad it's over.
Me: But where is the start of our show? *everyone looks and sees that Draco is still sitting on top of the carriage, gazing into Harry's eyes* Umm... Draco?
Ron: That's some good acting, you guys.
Seamus: I don't think that's acting, Ron.
Draco: Harry, I have realized in the space of three-and-a-half seconds that I am incerdibly attracted to you.
Harry: Why, so have I.
Draco: I love you.
Harry: I love you.
Draco: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Harry: Why, yes I am.
*Harry drags Draco offstage. A slamming door it heard, followed by the nmistakable sounds of making out*
*several second of awkward silence pass*
Ron: *shudders*
*lights go up"
Me: *running in with Ron* Wait a second, everyone!
*lights go back down*
Me: We have a fiasco on our hands.
Oliver: This whole play's been a fiasco.
Me: One of the actors has deserted us!
Draco: *from inside the glass coffin* Well, hurry it up, I can't stand being inside this box thingy much longer!
Me: It's called a coffin, stupid. Now everyone over here! *Everyone comes over, including Draco* Ron, tell them what you found.
Ron: I found this in Fleur's dressing room. *holds out a note*
Draco: *reads it* "I refuse to touch that stupid little British boy, much less kiss him. Find a new princess. Good luck. Signed, Fleur Delacour." Hey! I am not a stupid little British boy!
Ron: Well, you're stupid and British, but I'm not sure about the last one...
Draco: Shut up, Weasley! What were you doing in her dressing room, anyway?
Ron: Umm... nothing.
Draco: Yeah, right.
Me: Now, let's not start making accusations, here. We need a new princess, and the only girls here are Hermione and Ginny.
Hermione: I'm not doing it!
Ginnny: Me neither!
Draco: *whines* No one likes me anymore!
Ron: No one ever liked you in the first place.
Me: Well, if neither Hermione nor Ginny will do it, then we'll just have to discontinue the fic.
All but Me: YAY!
Me: But wait! I have an idea!
All but Me: Damn!
Me: Yes… yes, it just might work! Of course, it will be very controversial. But that's what makes it fun!
Draco: What's she talking about?
Ginny: I don't know, but I'd be afraid if I were you.
Draco: Oh joy. Mercury, what are you plotting?!
Me: Well I can't tell you now! That would ruin the surprise! Places, everyone! *every goes to their places* Okay… ACTION!
*light go up*
ACT II, SCENE V: The Forest
Dwarves: *enter sobbing* He's dead! He's dead!
Oliver: Our beloved prince is... DEAD!
Colin: He has gone to a better place!
Seamus: Shuffled loose the mortal coil!
Bob: Kicked the bucket!
*Hermione and Ginny come in carrying the glass coffin with Draco inside. Goyle comes in last*
Hermione and Ginny: *sniff*
Goyle: *sniff*
*Suddenly a coach-looking thing crosses paths with them. Remus Lupin is driving it.*
Lupin: Excuse me, what's going on here? I'm in a bit of a hurry.
Oliver: This is a funeral procession! Have some respect!
Lupin: Whose funeral?
Colin: The prince. *sniff*
Lupin: He's dead?
Dwarves: Yes.
Lupin: He's the reason we were coming here! I'm delivering a marriage proposal from another kingdom!
Ron: Too late.
Remus: Well, my charge will want to pay the appropriate respects. *the coach door opens, and out steps… HARRY POTTER!*
Draco: WHAT?!
Me: Hey, you're supposed to be dead! And I had to bribe him to do this, so you'd better cooperate!
Draco: I AM NOT GOING TO KISS POTTER!
Me: Oh, come on…
Draco: NO!
Me: Well, I could do it instead…
Draco: Ummm… never mind.
Me: I knew you'd see it my way. Okay, ACTION!
Harry: Where's Prince Draco?
Oliver: The person you came to see is dead.
Harry: *sniff* I never got to meet him.
Oliver: Sneezy, Bashful, bring the coffin over here so the prince can pay his respects.
*They walk over. Suddenly, Hermione trips over a tree root and the coffin goes flying into a bush*
All: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Voice from within the bushes: What the... where am I? Oh… head… hurts…
Oliver: Who goes there?
Draco: *comes out of the bushes* It's just me.
All: HE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: Ooh. He's cute.
Draco: What just happened?
Oliver: You were dead!
Colin: The magic bush woke him up!
All: *stares at Colin*
Colin: What?
*Draco and Harry look into each other's eyes. Sappy music starts*
Harry & Draco: I love you. Will you marry me?
Draco & Harry: Of course, because I just think you're so sexy! *smooches abound*
Lupin: That was... abrupt.
Dwarves: Yay!! A wedding!
*everyone rides off into the sunset*
Me: *as the Mirror* And so it ends. The King was confined to a mental ward for the rest of his days, Draco and Harry went to Canada and got married, and everyone lived happily ever after.
*fade to black*
*****~~~THE END~~~****
Me: Well, that was excellent! Bravo, all of you!
Ron: I'm just glad it's over.
Me: But where is the start of our show? *everyone looks and sees that Draco is still sitting on top of the carriage, gazing into Harry's eyes* Umm... Draco?
Ron: That's some good acting, you guys.
Seamus: I don't think that's acting, Ron.
Draco: Harry, I have realized in the space of three-and-a-half seconds that I am incerdibly attracted to you.
Harry: Why, so have I.
Draco: I love you.
Harry: I love you.
Draco: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Harry: Why, yes I am.
*Harry drags Draco offstage. A slamming door it heard, followed by the nmistakable sounds of making out*
*several second of awkward silence pass*
Ron: *shudders*