Journey or Destination
Pt. 2: Lost
Author's Note: Second part. Sorry I didn't warn you on Pt. 1, but this story goes back and forth between really fluffy and really angsty... sort of like me... anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: CSI, not mine. Damn you, Jerry Bruckheimer!
***
Nick didn't move when the door opened. He kept his attention on Greg, who lay unmoving in a hospital bed, save for his chest, which rose and fell in the proper rhythm. Nick held on of Greg's hands in both of his own.
"How is he?" Grissom asked as he stood beside Nick.
"No change," Nick replied dispiritedly.
Grissom tossed his jacket into another chair and walked around Greg to the window on the opposite side. He stared out at the bright lights of Las Vegas in silence for what seemed like eons. "Nick, I...I'm..." He sighed, unsure of what to say.
Luckily, the doctor chose that moment to walk in. "Well, I have some good news. He is stable and will make it,"
Grissom smiled and started to say something, but Nick beat him to it. "What's the bad news?"
The doctor and Grissom looked at him, then each other, before Doc spoke slowly. "There is a chance of memory loss. It could either be of just the, uh, incident, and temporary, or it could be complete and permanent,"
"Do we have anyway to tell now?"
"No, I'm sorry,"
Grissom nodded sadly. "Well, thank you, doctor," He gave Grissom a nod and tight smile before leaving. Grissom sighed and looked over at Nick, who had fallen silent.
"Memory loss," Nick whispered, not wanting to believe it.
Grissom nodded again. "Yep," It sounded lame in his ears, but he didn't know what else to say. The tears that had been biting at Nick's eyes slid down his cheeks. He buried his face in the bed and began to sob. Grissom kneeled beside Nick and set a hand on his back, fighting back tears of his own. "It's going to be all right. He'll be okay,"
***
Two weeks later, and Nick was practically a resident at the hospital. Grissom had given him time off after thay had a heated discussion that had ended in Nick screaming at the top of his lungs: "I love him, Griss!". Time seemed to stand still in the whole lab after that little confession, and Grissom had been struck dumb for the first time in his life.
***
Nick left Greg's side only to get coffee, despite what industrial sludge it was. It was during one such trip that Greg woke up. When Nick returned her dropped his cup at the sight of his love's eyes open. "Doctor! Someone! He's awake!" Nick half shouted, half laughed over his shoulder. He heard pounding footsteps and the doctor was at Greg's side in a heartbeat. Nick stood back, a big grin on his face, which quickly disappeared when Greg looked at him... and didn't recognize him. "Oh no," Nick whispered sorrowfully. Memory loss. Total memory loss. He leaned back against the wall and slowly slid to the ground.
"What's your name?"
"I-I don't know,"
***
Catherine gently knocked on the doorframe. Nick and Greg looked up. Nick smiled, Greg's grip on his hand tightened. "Hey!" Catherine entered, followed by Warrick and Sara, each carrying flowers. Catherine smiled at Nick, then turned to Greg.
"How are you doing, Greg?" She asked gently.
He eyed her warily. "Fine," He still managed to sound friendly.
"Greg, this is Catherine Willows," Nick looked at him expectantly.
Greg examined her, visibly mouthing her name to himself, then said slowly: "Mother of Lindsey, ex-stripper, probably the sanest person in the lab?"
Nick smiled broadly. "Very good, Greg," He pointed at Sara. "Sara Sidle?"
"Sara...um...can't take a joke, steals my coffee, Grissom's female form,"
"Excellent! Now, Warrick Brown?"
"Ex-gambler, loses constantly to you,"
"Yes!" Nick hugged Greg, who was smiling as well, and kissed the top of his head. "Good! I am so proud of you!"
The three visitors smiled. "Hey, Greg? Can I borrow him for a sec?"
Greg and Nick pulled apart slightly, looked at each other, then at Catherine. "Sure," He said with a shrug. Nick kissed the top of his head again.
"Be right back,"
As the two CSI's left the room, they heard Warrick say: "Want to see a neat trick, Greg?"
***
"How're you doing, Nick?" Catherine asked when they were out of earshot of the others.
He shrugged, hands in his pockets, an everpresent smile on his face. "I'm fine,"
She wanted to believe him, hell, she DID believe him, but that nagging scientist in her mind told her he should be a wreck, if only on the inside. "Really?"
"Of course. Why shouldn't I be?"
"Well, because someone you care for very deeply has no idea who he is, where he is, or who you are for that matter,"
"He knows who I am,"
That damn scientist again. "He knows what you told him,"
"What are you getting at, Cath?" He asked patiently.
"How do you know he trusts you?"
"Did he look uncomfortable with me?" She remained silent. "Last night, I went to get something to eat. When I came back, he had been so terrified when he saw I wasn't there, that there were five orderlys holding him down and they were going to sedate him because he kept screaming my name. As soon as I entered the room, he calmed down," She was still silent. "Satisfied?"
"Did you tell him how you feel?"
"Yeah,"
"And?"
"He said 'I knew it. As soon as I saw you, I knew that I loved you and you loved me,'" Silence once more as she contemplated this. "Anything else?" His voice remained patient.
"Are you really ready for this? For the responsibilities that will come with taking care of Greg?" She finally asked quietly.
"Cathy, what do you treasure more: the journey, or the destination?"
She blinked. "Uh, I guess that depends,"
Nick looked back at the hospital room door. "I know that there will be a long road ahead, and it will be very difficult, but when I think that I could help Greg get his memories back, it doesn't seem so scary," He looked at her. "I know that he might never get all his memories back, but as long as we love each other, I don't care,"
Tears glistened in Catherine's eyes. "That was beautiful," She laughed weakly and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I think I heard female hearts around the world break," They both chuckled this time. "He's very lucky, Nick, to have someone who cares about him so much,"
Nick shook his head. "No. I'm the lucky one,"
***
"Here we are, home sweet home," Nick held the door open to Greg's apartment and let him in. He immediately began to wander around the living room, limping slightly and examining everything with Grissom-like intensity. "See anything familiar?" Nick asked with a small smile.
Greg frowned and shook his head. "No,"
Nick could sense his distress and embraced him from behind. "It's all right, just give it time," He said quietly into Greg's ear. The younger man nodded solemnly. "Ya know what? I'm starved. How 'bout some chinese?" Greg smiled and nodded. Nick kissed his temple and gave him an extra squeeze. "Be right back," He went to order dinner while Greg continued to search his apparent hom, searching his mind for any trace of who he was supposed to be.
***
"Food'll be here in twenty...minutes..." Nick trailed off. Greg stood in front of a framed picture, his fingers resting lightly on the glass and tears running silently down his face. Nick's brow furrowed. "Greg?"
Greg looked over at him, swallowed, then turned back to the picture, letting his hand fall to his side. "I just...I don't-remember..." He choked out. "I know I should...and I almost can...but..."
Nick took him in his arms and held him as he cried. "Shh...it's all right...it's all right...everything will be okay...I'm here..." Nick whispered to him, stoking his soft hair. "Everything's gonna be just fine,"
"How do you know that? I mean, what if I never get my memories back, or what if I do, and I change, and you don't...don't..."
"What?" Nick drew back from Greg and set his hands on his shoulders. "Don't love you anymore?" Greg kept his head down. Nick took his face in his hands and met their eyes. "Greg, that could never happen, believe me," Tears appeared in Nick's eyes. He smiled sadly and gently ran his fingers over the scar on Greg's forehead. "Nothing could ever make me stop loving you,"
Greg stared up into Nick's eyes, then went up on tiptoe and kissed him softly. Nick slid his hands down Greg's body to his waist, then snaked his arms around his slight frame, drawing their bodies together. Greg clutched Nick's sleeves desperately, deepening the kiss. Nick slowly moved Greg back toward the wall. His kisses trailed from Greg's lips to his neck. The lab tech moaned softly, low in his throat. "Nick-" They were interuppted by a knock on the door. Nick groaned and pulled back.
"Food's here," He froze when he saw Greg's face. The younger man was staring at the door, eyes wide and face pale. "Greg?" There was another knock. Nick sighed, but went to the door, paid the delivery boy, then set the food on the counter. When he returned to the living room, Greg was sitting on the floor, knees drawn to his chest and his head in his arms. Nick crouched down in front of him, concern evident on his face. "Greg?"
After a short silence, Greg spoke in a trembling voice. "Something...clicked. Something about that was familiar, and...something told me to be afraid,"
Nick set a hand over one of Greg's ears and gently stroked his sideburn with his thumb. "That's good, Greg. You're remembering,"
Greg lifted his head and Nick's hand slid to his cheek. "No, I'm not. That wasn't a memory, that was instinct,"
Nick smiled gently, lovingly. "Greg, you have to stop forcing it. Just be patient, and they will come back," Greg stared at the floor. Nick kissed the top of his head and leaned his forehead against his lover's. "Come on. Let's just eat dinner and watch some tv,"
"...Okay,"
***
Nick laughed, but it faded away when he realized it was solo. He looked down at Greg, who had fallen asleep against his chest. Nick smiled and smoothed Greg's hair back from his forehead, then glanced up at the clock. "Oh, shit," He whispered and began to carefully disengage himself from Greg's arms. He was nearly to the door when Greg's groggy voice floated to him from the couch.
"Nick?"
"Right here,"
Greg sat up. "Where are you going?"
"Home,"
"Oh...but I thought we...that you..."
"Lived here?" Nick offered.
"...Yeah,"
Nick smiled gently and shook his head. "No,"
"Oh,"
Beat. "Are you gonna be okay?"
"Yeah,"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, of course," Nick frowned, incredulous. "I'll be fine, Nick,"
Still not convincing, but Nick shrugged and turned back toward the door. "Okay. 'Night,"
"Wait!" Nick stopped midstride. "Could...would you like..." Nick turned, a smile tugging at his lips. Greg groped for that right words, then simply sighed. "Would you stay with me tonight?"
Nick smiled. "Of course,"
Greg visibly relaxed. "Thank you,"
"All you had to do was ask," Even in the dim light, Nick could see Greg's face turn red. "Tell ya what," Nick strolled back over to the couch. "How 'bout you get some sleep, then I'll wake you up in a few hours and take you to the lab. Maybe you'll remember something there,"
Greg nodded slowly. "Okay,"
"Here, I'll show you where the bedroom is," Nick almost reflexively held out his hand and Greg took it. Nick led him to the hallway, pointing out the bathroom, the spare broom that seemed to be a game room/chemistry lab, and, finally, the bedroom. Nick watched Greg study the room and their hands never parted.
Finally, Greg nodded his approval. "Okay," He turned back to Nick. "Um, where will you be?" He asked meekly, trying to hide his hope for one answer and fear of another.
"Right out there on the couch,"
"Oh," Greg was disappointed that they wouldn't finish what they started, and terrified of sleeping alone, although he had no idea why. Nick could see the fear in his eyes. Without a word, Nick pulled Greg to him and kissed him, using his free hand to shut off the lights.
***
Nick peered groggily at the digital clock beside the bed. "Right on time," He murmured to himself, then looked down at the sleeping form in his arms. In the light from the hallway, Nick could see Greg's face occasionally twitch. 'He's having a nightmare,' He thought and smoothed back his lover's hair. "Greg? Greg," The lab tech's grip on his torso tightened for a moment, then his eyes fluttered open. "You okay?" Greg looked up at him, then lifted his head. Nick's hand slipped from his hair to his back and he inwardly winced at the feeling of the scars. Greg didn't notice and simply nodded.
"I'm fine,"
"...How 'bout a shower?"
***
Nick held Greg to him as the warm water cascaded over them, partly to help him keep the weight off his leg, and partly to protect the scars on his back, both of which were still tender. And yet, Nick found himself tracing on scar at the back of Greg's neck with his index finger almost subconsciously.
"Something back happened, didn't it?"
Nick willed his finger to stop. "Yeah," He said quietly. His hand drifted over Greg's shoulder and down his arm back to his waist. Nick wrapped his arm around Greg and held him tighter. "But that's not what made you...that's not what caused...it was before-"
"Burning plastic,"
Nick blinked. "What?"
"Something about burning plastic. The smell. Does that mean anything?"
"Yeah. Yeah it does," Nick smiled sadly and feed his arm again to smooth Greg's hair back. "But it's not important,"
***
"Here we are," Nick announced as he pulled Greg's black jeep up in front of the lab and killed the engine. "Ya ready?" Greg didn't take his eyes off the building when he nodded. Nick reached over and covered one of Greg's hands with his own. "Hey," Greg looked over at him, looking a bit like a deer caught in the headlights. Nick gave his hands a reassuring squeeze. "It'll be okay," Greg exhaled, smiled and nodded again. "Ya ready?" Another nod. "Let's go," They exited the vehicle and headed for the front doors. As they walked, their fingers intertwined and they grasped each others' hands. They walked into the lab like that, and CSI's and tab techs merely glanced at this display of affection before continuing on their way. Everyone in the night shift knew about their relationship by now. Some said "Aw, that's so sweet!", some said "It's about time!", some said "Dammit!", and those few who were homophobic kept their big yaps shut for fear of incurring the wrath of Grissom.
"Hey, Griss,"
Grissom looked up from his work and smiled. Nick stood in the doorway and Greg stood slightly behind him, one hand in Nick's and the other on Nick's arm. "Come in," Grissom stood up.
Nick gently coaxed Greg into the room. "You remember Grissom, right?" Greg examined the senior CSI, then slowly nodded.
"How are you doing, kiddo?" Grissom surprised himself and Nick when the term of endearment slipped out, but Nick felt Greg's grip on his hand loosen.
"Okay,"
"That's good to hear,"
"Just thought we'd see if the lab could dig up any memories,"
"Well, make yourselves at home,"
Nick smiled. "Thanks, Griss,"
Grissom could tell that he meant for everything. "Anytime. Hey, Greg," Greg looked up. "Get better soon, okay? We need our favorite lab rat back,"
Something clicked in Greg's head and fear flashed over his features, but it was so fleeting Grissom and Nick could not quite tell what it was and let it slide. "Thank you,"
Nick and Greg left Grissom's office, heading for the newly built DNA lab. Nick smiled. "Welcome home, Greg," Greg began to examine everything and Nick simply stood in the door watching him. Greg's fingers drifted over the equipment. He knew how to use each piece, but he couldn't remember the names. He began to go over the process in his mind, mouthing instrutions and miming the actions.
"Nick?"
Nick turned. "Hey, guys," He said with a smile. "What's up?"
Sara glanced over his shoulder, as did Catherine and Warrick. Nick looked back at Greg, who was still reaquainting himself with the lab equipment. When he turned back, Catherine pointed over to the right. Nick understood and they moved out of the doorway, but stayed where they could see into the lab.
***
Greg looked up. Something clicked in his mind again, and he smelled burning plastic. Rather than turning, Greg's eyes fell on a window. He began to walk toward it. As he did, images flashed through his mind.
...heat...
...something loud...
...the glass rushing toward him...
...'why won't I stop?...
...glass shattering...
...hard floor...
...pain...
...Sara...
Greg reached out to touch the glass, but was doubled over by pain in his back. He cried out and collapsed. "Greg!" Nick's voice was garbled, like...like that time...
Greg's eyes widened. "Oh, god," He whispered. He felt Nick hold him. "An explosion. There was an explosion. A hot plate was left on," He said quickly, as if that would imprint the memory permanently on his mind. "It was left on by...one of the CSI's," He lifted his head and pointed at Catherine. "Her. She apologized in the hospital," His head dropped back. "And Sara. Sara was hurt, too. So were some others, but my injuries were the worst," The explosion itself kept replaying in his mind...and the pain... "Get me out of here. Please," Greg asked Nick in a voice strained by tears. Nick quickly got him to his feet and escorted him out of the building. He helped Greg into the passenger seat, then remained at his side. "I'm sorry, I just..."
Nick set a hand on the side of Greg's face. "It's all right. I understand. The explosion was very traumatic for you," Greg started to cry silently. "I'm sorry that had to be your first memory. Not exactly the happiest one," Greg smiled a little and shook his head. Nick gently hugged Greg and held him as he cried, stroking his hair and murmuring soothingly to him.
"Let's go home," Nick said quietly when Greg stopped. He placed a quick kiss in his mess of brown hair and drew back. Greg straightened in his seat and Nick shut the door.
***
Nick unlocked the door and ran in. "Coming, coming, coming!" He chanted as he ran to the ringing phone. Greg smiled and turned to close the door, but froze.
'I'm coming! This better be good,'
"What are you doing here?"
'Oh, go-'
"No, it can't be,"
'Hey Greggy. Been awhile, huh?'
"No, please,"
'Brian,'
"NO!" Greg stumbled back from the door, eyes wide and tear-filled, but unseeing. "Stay away!"
***
Nick stood off to the side, confused at Greg's behavior. "Greg! Greg, it's me! It's Nick!" No reaction.
"Nick! Help me!"
Nick closed his eyes, trying to fight back his tears. "I...can't..." He whispered helplessly.
"AHH!-"
Nick's eyes flew open. Greg lay on the floor, blood dripping from the cabinets above him. "Greg..." Nick rushed to his side. "Greg? Greg?! Greg, answer me, please! GREG!"
To Be Continued...
Pt. 2: Lost
Author's Note: Second part. Sorry I didn't warn you on Pt. 1, but this story goes back and forth between really fluffy and really angsty... sort of like me... anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: CSI, not mine. Damn you, Jerry Bruckheimer!
***
Nick didn't move when the door opened. He kept his attention on Greg, who lay unmoving in a hospital bed, save for his chest, which rose and fell in the proper rhythm. Nick held on of Greg's hands in both of his own.
"How is he?" Grissom asked as he stood beside Nick.
"No change," Nick replied dispiritedly.
Grissom tossed his jacket into another chair and walked around Greg to the window on the opposite side. He stared out at the bright lights of Las Vegas in silence for what seemed like eons. "Nick, I...I'm..." He sighed, unsure of what to say.
Luckily, the doctor chose that moment to walk in. "Well, I have some good news. He is stable and will make it,"
Grissom smiled and started to say something, but Nick beat him to it. "What's the bad news?"
The doctor and Grissom looked at him, then each other, before Doc spoke slowly. "There is a chance of memory loss. It could either be of just the, uh, incident, and temporary, or it could be complete and permanent,"
"Do we have anyway to tell now?"
"No, I'm sorry,"
Grissom nodded sadly. "Well, thank you, doctor," He gave Grissom a nod and tight smile before leaving. Grissom sighed and looked over at Nick, who had fallen silent.
"Memory loss," Nick whispered, not wanting to believe it.
Grissom nodded again. "Yep," It sounded lame in his ears, but he didn't know what else to say. The tears that had been biting at Nick's eyes slid down his cheeks. He buried his face in the bed and began to sob. Grissom kneeled beside Nick and set a hand on his back, fighting back tears of his own. "It's going to be all right. He'll be okay,"
***
Two weeks later, and Nick was practically a resident at the hospital. Grissom had given him time off after thay had a heated discussion that had ended in Nick screaming at the top of his lungs: "I love him, Griss!". Time seemed to stand still in the whole lab after that little confession, and Grissom had been struck dumb for the first time in his life.
***
Nick left Greg's side only to get coffee, despite what industrial sludge it was. It was during one such trip that Greg woke up. When Nick returned her dropped his cup at the sight of his love's eyes open. "Doctor! Someone! He's awake!" Nick half shouted, half laughed over his shoulder. He heard pounding footsteps and the doctor was at Greg's side in a heartbeat. Nick stood back, a big grin on his face, which quickly disappeared when Greg looked at him... and didn't recognize him. "Oh no," Nick whispered sorrowfully. Memory loss. Total memory loss. He leaned back against the wall and slowly slid to the ground.
"What's your name?"
"I-I don't know,"
***
Catherine gently knocked on the doorframe. Nick and Greg looked up. Nick smiled, Greg's grip on his hand tightened. "Hey!" Catherine entered, followed by Warrick and Sara, each carrying flowers. Catherine smiled at Nick, then turned to Greg.
"How are you doing, Greg?" She asked gently.
He eyed her warily. "Fine," He still managed to sound friendly.
"Greg, this is Catherine Willows," Nick looked at him expectantly.
Greg examined her, visibly mouthing her name to himself, then said slowly: "Mother of Lindsey, ex-stripper, probably the sanest person in the lab?"
Nick smiled broadly. "Very good, Greg," He pointed at Sara. "Sara Sidle?"
"Sara...um...can't take a joke, steals my coffee, Grissom's female form,"
"Excellent! Now, Warrick Brown?"
"Ex-gambler, loses constantly to you,"
"Yes!" Nick hugged Greg, who was smiling as well, and kissed the top of his head. "Good! I am so proud of you!"
The three visitors smiled. "Hey, Greg? Can I borrow him for a sec?"
Greg and Nick pulled apart slightly, looked at each other, then at Catherine. "Sure," He said with a shrug. Nick kissed the top of his head again.
"Be right back,"
As the two CSI's left the room, they heard Warrick say: "Want to see a neat trick, Greg?"
***
"How're you doing, Nick?" Catherine asked when they were out of earshot of the others.
He shrugged, hands in his pockets, an everpresent smile on his face. "I'm fine,"
She wanted to believe him, hell, she DID believe him, but that nagging scientist in her mind told her he should be a wreck, if only on the inside. "Really?"
"Of course. Why shouldn't I be?"
"Well, because someone you care for very deeply has no idea who he is, where he is, or who you are for that matter,"
"He knows who I am,"
That damn scientist again. "He knows what you told him,"
"What are you getting at, Cath?" He asked patiently.
"How do you know he trusts you?"
"Did he look uncomfortable with me?" She remained silent. "Last night, I went to get something to eat. When I came back, he had been so terrified when he saw I wasn't there, that there were five orderlys holding him down and they were going to sedate him because he kept screaming my name. As soon as I entered the room, he calmed down," She was still silent. "Satisfied?"
"Did you tell him how you feel?"
"Yeah,"
"And?"
"He said 'I knew it. As soon as I saw you, I knew that I loved you and you loved me,'" Silence once more as she contemplated this. "Anything else?" His voice remained patient.
"Are you really ready for this? For the responsibilities that will come with taking care of Greg?" She finally asked quietly.
"Cathy, what do you treasure more: the journey, or the destination?"
She blinked. "Uh, I guess that depends,"
Nick looked back at the hospital room door. "I know that there will be a long road ahead, and it will be very difficult, but when I think that I could help Greg get his memories back, it doesn't seem so scary," He looked at her. "I know that he might never get all his memories back, but as long as we love each other, I don't care,"
Tears glistened in Catherine's eyes. "That was beautiful," She laughed weakly and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I think I heard female hearts around the world break," They both chuckled this time. "He's very lucky, Nick, to have someone who cares about him so much,"
Nick shook his head. "No. I'm the lucky one,"
***
"Here we are, home sweet home," Nick held the door open to Greg's apartment and let him in. He immediately began to wander around the living room, limping slightly and examining everything with Grissom-like intensity. "See anything familiar?" Nick asked with a small smile.
Greg frowned and shook his head. "No,"
Nick could sense his distress and embraced him from behind. "It's all right, just give it time," He said quietly into Greg's ear. The younger man nodded solemnly. "Ya know what? I'm starved. How 'bout some chinese?" Greg smiled and nodded. Nick kissed his temple and gave him an extra squeeze. "Be right back," He went to order dinner while Greg continued to search his apparent hom, searching his mind for any trace of who he was supposed to be.
***
"Food'll be here in twenty...minutes..." Nick trailed off. Greg stood in front of a framed picture, his fingers resting lightly on the glass and tears running silently down his face. Nick's brow furrowed. "Greg?"
Greg looked over at him, swallowed, then turned back to the picture, letting his hand fall to his side. "I just...I don't-remember..." He choked out. "I know I should...and I almost can...but..."
Nick took him in his arms and held him as he cried. "Shh...it's all right...it's all right...everything will be okay...I'm here..." Nick whispered to him, stoking his soft hair. "Everything's gonna be just fine,"
"How do you know that? I mean, what if I never get my memories back, or what if I do, and I change, and you don't...don't..."
"What?" Nick drew back from Greg and set his hands on his shoulders. "Don't love you anymore?" Greg kept his head down. Nick took his face in his hands and met their eyes. "Greg, that could never happen, believe me," Tears appeared in Nick's eyes. He smiled sadly and gently ran his fingers over the scar on Greg's forehead. "Nothing could ever make me stop loving you,"
Greg stared up into Nick's eyes, then went up on tiptoe and kissed him softly. Nick slid his hands down Greg's body to his waist, then snaked his arms around his slight frame, drawing their bodies together. Greg clutched Nick's sleeves desperately, deepening the kiss. Nick slowly moved Greg back toward the wall. His kisses trailed from Greg's lips to his neck. The lab tech moaned softly, low in his throat. "Nick-" They were interuppted by a knock on the door. Nick groaned and pulled back.
"Food's here," He froze when he saw Greg's face. The younger man was staring at the door, eyes wide and face pale. "Greg?" There was another knock. Nick sighed, but went to the door, paid the delivery boy, then set the food on the counter. When he returned to the living room, Greg was sitting on the floor, knees drawn to his chest and his head in his arms. Nick crouched down in front of him, concern evident on his face. "Greg?"
After a short silence, Greg spoke in a trembling voice. "Something...clicked. Something about that was familiar, and...something told me to be afraid,"
Nick set a hand over one of Greg's ears and gently stroked his sideburn with his thumb. "That's good, Greg. You're remembering,"
Greg lifted his head and Nick's hand slid to his cheek. "No, I'm not. That wasn't a memory, that was instinct,"
Nick smiled gently, lovingly. "Greg, you have to stop forcing it. Just be patient, and they will come back," Greg stared at the floor. Nick kissed the top of his head and leaned his forehead against his lover's. "Come on. Let's just eat dinner and watch some tv,"
"...Okay,"
***
Nick laughed, but it faded away when he realized it was solo. He looked down at Greg, who had fallen asleep against his chest. Nick smiled and smoothed Greg's hair back from his forehead, then glanced up at the clock. "Oh, shit," He whispered and began to carefully disengage himself from Greg's arms. He was nearly to the door when Greg's groggy voice floated to him from the couch.
"Nick?"
"Right here,"
Greg sat up. "Where are you going?"
"Home,"
"Oh...but I thought we...that you..."
"Lived here?" Nick offered.
"...Yeah,"
Nick smiled gently and shook his head. "No,"
"Oh,"
Beat. "Are you gonna be okay?"
"Yeah,"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, of course," Nick frowned, incredulous. "I'll be fine, Nick,"
Still not convincing, but Nick shrugged and turned back toward the door. "Okay. 'Night,"
"Wait!" Nick stopped midstride. "Could...would you like..." Nick turned, a smile tugging at his lips. Greg groped for that right words, then simply sighed. "Would you stay with me tonight?"
Nick smiled. "Of course,"
Greg visibly relaxed. "Thank you,"
"All you had to do was ask," Even in the dim light, Nick could see Greg's face turn red. "Tell ya what," Nick strolled back over to the couch. "How 'bout you get some sleep, then I'll wake you up in a few hours and take you to the lab. Maybe you'll remember something there,"
Greg nodded slowly. "Okay,"
"Here, I'll show you where the bedroom is," Nick almost reflexively held out his hand and Greg took it. Nick led him to the hallway, pointing out the bathroom, the spare broom that seemed to be a game room/chemistry lab, and, finally, the bedroom. Nick watched Greg study the room and their hands never parted.
Finally, Greg nodded his approval. "Okay," He turned back to Nick. "Um, where will you be?" He asked meekly, trying to hide his hope for one answer and fear of another.
"Right out there on the couch,"
"Oh," Greg was disappointed that they wouldn't finish what they started, and terrified of sleeping alone, although he had no idea why. Nick could see the fear in his eyes. Without a word, Nick pulled Greg to him and kissed him, using his free hand to shut off the lights.
***
Nick peered groggily at the digital clock beside the bed. "Right on time," He murmured to himself, then looked down at the sleeping form in his arms. In the light from the hallway, Nick could see Greg's face occasionally twitch. 'He's having a nightmare,' He thought and smoothed back his lover's hair. "Greg? Greg," The lab tech's grip on his torso tightened for a moment, then his eyes fluttered open. "You okay?" Greg looked up at him, then lifted his head. Nick's hand slipped from his hair to his back and he inwardly winced at the feeling of the scars. Greg didn't notice and simply nodded.
"I'm fine,"
"...How 'bout a shower?"
***
Nick held Greg to him as the warm water cascaded over them, partly to help him keep the weight off his leg, and partly to protect the scars on his back, both of which were still tender. And yet, Nick found himself tracing on scar at the back of Greg's neck with his index finger almost subconsciously.
"Something back happened, didn't it?"
Nick willed his finger to stop. "Yeah," He said quietly. His hand drifted over Greg's shoulder and down his arm back to his waist. Nick wrapped his arm around Greg and held him tighter. "But that's not what made you...that's not what caused...it was before-"
"Burning plastic,"
Nick blinked. "What?"
"Something about burning plastic. The smell. Does that mean anything?"
"Yeah. Yeah it does," Nick smiled sadly and feed his arm again to smooth Greg's hair back. "But it's not important,"
***
"Here we are," Nick announced as he pulled Greg's black jeep up in front of the lab and killed the engine. "Ya ready?" Greg didn't take his eyes off the building when he nodded. Nick reached over and covered one of Greg's hands with his own. "Hey," Greg looked over at him, looking a bit like a deer caught in the headlights. Nick gave his hands a reassuring squeeze. "It'll be okay," Greg exhaled, smiled and nodded again. "Ya ready?" Another nod. "Let's go," They exited the vehicle and headed for the front doors. As they walked, their fingers intertwined and they grasped each others' hands. They walked into the lab like that, and CSI's and tab techs merely glanced at this display of affection before continuing on their way. Everyone in the night shift knew about their relationship by now. Some said "Aw, that's so sweet!", some said "It's about time!", some said "Dammit!", and those few who were homophobic kept their big yaps shut for fear of incurring the wrath of Grissom.
"Hey, Griss,"
Grissom looked up from his work and smiled. Nick stood in the doorway and Greg stood slightly behind him, one hand in Nick's and the other on Nick's arm. "Come in," Grissom stood up.
Nick gently coaxed Greg into the room. "You remember Grissom, right?" Greg examined the senior CSI, then slowly nodded.
"How are you doing, kiddo?" Grissom surprised himself and Nick when the term of endearment slipped out, but Nick felt Greg's grip on his hand loosen.
"Okay,"
"That's good to hear,"
"Just thought we'd see if the lab could dig up any memories,"
"Well, make yourselves at home,"
Nick smiled. "Thanks, Griss,"
Grissom could tell that he meant for everything. "Anytime. Hey, Greg," Greg looked up. "Get better soon, okay? We need our favorite lab rat back,"
Something clicked in Greg's head and fear flashed over his features, but it was so fleeting Grissom and Nick could not quite tell what it was and let it slide. "Thank you,"
Nick and Greg left Grissom's office, heading for the newly built DNA lab. Nick smiled. "Welcome home, Greg," Greg began to examine everything and Nick simply stood in the door watching him. Greg's fingers drifted over the equipment. He knew how to use each piece, but he couldn't remember the names. He began to go over the process in his mind, mouthing instrutions and miming the actions.
"Nick?"
Nick turned. "Hey, guys," He said with a smile. "What's up?"
Sara glanced over his shoulder, as did Catherine and Warrick. Nick looked back at Greg, who was still reaquainting himself with the lab equipment. When he turned back, Catherine pointed over to the right. Nick understood and they moved out of the doorway, but stayed where they could see into the lab.
***
Greg looked up. Something clicked in his mind again, and he smelled burning plastic. Rather than turning, Greg's eyes fell on a window. He began to walk toward it. As he did, images flashed through his mind.
...heat...
...something loud...
...the glass rushing toward him...
...'why won't I stop?...
...glass shattering...
...hard floor...
...pain...
...Sara...
Greg reached out to touch the glass, but was doubled over by pain in his back. He cried out and collapsed. "Greg!" Nick's voice was garbled, like...like that time...
Greg's eyes widened. "Oh, god," He whispered. He felt Nick hold him. "An explosion. There was an explosion. A hot plate was left on," He said quickly, as if that would imprint the memory permanently on his mind. "It was left on by...one of the CSI's," He lifted his head and pointed at Catherine. "Her. She apologized in the hospital," His head dropped back. "And Sara. Sara was hurt, too. So were some others, but my injuries were the worst," The explosion itself kept replaying in his mind...and the pain... "Get me out of here. Please," Greg asked Nick in a voice strained by tears. Nick quickly got him to his feet and escorted him out of the building. He helped Greg into the passenger seat, then remained at his side. "I'm sorry, I just..."
Nick set a hand on the side of Greg's face. "It's all right. I understand. The explosion was very traumatic for you," Greg started to cry silently. "I'm sorry that had to be your first memory. Not exactly the happiest one," Greg smiled a little and shook his head. Nick gently hugged Greg and held him as he cried, stroking his hair and murmuring soothingly to him.
"Let's go home," Nick said quietly when Greg stopped. He placed a quick kiss in his mess of brown hair and drew back. Greg straightened in his seat and Nick shut the door.
***
Nick unlocked the door and ran in. "Coming, coming, coming!" He chanted as he ran to the ringing phone. Greg smiled and turned to close the door, but froze.
'I'm coming! This better be good,'
"What are you doing here?"
'Oh, go-'
"No, it can't be,"
'Hey Greggy. Been awhile, huh?'
"No, please,"
'Brian,'
"NO!" Greg stumbled back from the door, eyes wide and tear-filled, but unseeing. "Stay away!"
***
Nick stood off to the side, confused at Greg's behavior. "Greg! Greg, it's me! It's Nick!" No reaction.
"Nick! Help me!"
Nick closed his eyes, trying to fight back his tears. "I...can't..." He whispered helplessly.
"AHH!-"
Nick's eyes flew open. Greg lay on the floor, blood dripping from the cabinets above him. "Greg..." Nick rushed to his side. "Greg? Greg?! Greg, answer me, please! GREG!"
To Be Continued...