Title: Desires Revealed (Part 1/?)
Author: Erilo
Email: Ladyhellcat666@aol.com
Rating: 15/PG-13
Based on: FG
Spoilers: FG
Disclaimers: Forbidden Games Trilogy along with Julian, Jenny, the Shadow Men
and any other characters from the books mentioned belong to L. J. Smith.
Angel belongs to me.
Summary: Since the game's end all Jenny wants is Julian back. But is she
willing to play a game of the Shadow Men's choice to do so?



Desires Revealed (Part 1/?)

Jenny lounged on the bench on her porch, staring idly at the gold band that
clung to her ring finger. The very same ring that had once been a symbol of
warped adoration now held a very special place in her heart. It was meant as a
peace offering, given by Julian moments before his death. Jenny remembered, she
had never forgotten. In giving her that ring he showed how much he had truly
loved her. He saved her in the shadow world; he died for her, and then he set
her free.

"You *can't* die." She had once stated in a matter of fact voice.

And it had been true until then. Julian couldn't die...until his name had been gouged
out of the runestave.

"No, I'll dream another dream," he said. "I've made up so many things, I'll
just go into one. I'll be part of it."

Jenny couldn't seem to shake the soul shattering memory. It haunted her while
she slept; seeing Julian disappear as though he never existed. It woke her
from countless slumbers, waves of nausea threatening to rise, cold sweat
dripping, scorching hot pains in her belly and emptiness in her heart. It seemed to
rattle around in her already-to-busy-mind; taking root.

Dream another dream, she mused bitterly. Wish we could all do that.

"Look, what if -- someday -- somebody carved Julian's name back onto the
runestave."

Michael's words echoed in her head. She smirked, the beginning of a plan
forming.

Jenny slowly rose to her feet and walked out to her car. This plan was
perfect.

"So perfect," she muttered jumping into her car and driving away.

Jenny almost couldn't believe what she was about to do. What would her
friends think? Dee and Audrey would probably blow their tops. Michael and Summer
would think she finally lost it. Zach -- well Zachary would probably just think
she was nuts, too. And Tom -- she didn't really want to imagine how Tom
would take it. He already thought she was a lost cause since before he left for
Notre' Dame.

She had changed a lot in the three years since Julian demise. Jenny no longer
dressed in the long flowing skirts just because Tom liked them so well. Now
it was all about her. She wore what she wanted, when she wanted though lately
her clothing of choice teetered more towards gothic. Her whole demeanor
changed. She was no longer Tom's welcome mat; the docile little girlfriend that did
everything his way. Jenny was her own person, with her own opinions, who could
make her own choices. She was obstinate and she loved it. If it was one
thing that Julian had taught her while in the games, it was that the world had
teeth and claws and it would eat you alive, if you couldn't survive. And to
cement the 'new Jenny' she'd dumped Tom months after the last game.

Julian had been right, she could do better than Tommy. Jenny found that out
after the games when she and Tom couldn't seem to stay in the same room for
more than five minutes without fighting over the ring that Julian had given her.
She had been at her wits end. So, on the day that Tom was supposed to be going
off to college, she ended the relationship and in the end they were both
happy.

Dee, Zach, Summer, Audrey and Michael left for their prospective colleges,
too but not her, she still didn't know what she wanted to do with her life and
she didn't think she would be having any revelations in the near future. For
now she was content with working at the animal shelter like she'd been doing all
along.

Jenny stopped the car and climbed out, stopping to surveying herself in a
store window.

She looked every bit the ice princess the she had envisioned herself to be,
all those years ago with Julian, in the games. The black that she wore set off
her golden skin perfectly. Her hair was loose and wild, whipping around in a
late afternoon breeze and her eyes, they had changed the most, gone was the
sweet light in them. Now they reflected a fast growing fire that threatened to
engulf her.

She gave one last fleeting glance at her mirror image. This was who she was
now and there was no turning back -- not that she'd want too. Jenny moved down
the street until she came to her final destination, the only Wicca shop in the
whole town.

Jenny walked into the shop and found a slight red-haired girl behind the from
counter.

The red-haired girl spoke politely, "Hello, can I help you?"

"Hi," she paused. "I was wondering would you happen to carry runstaves?"

The smile never wavered, "Yes, You're in luck we just got a large shipment in
from Norway. They're all in the back. How many would you like?"

"One would be great."

Jenny leaned against the counter as she disappeared.

Hmm...Norwegian folklore must be more of a trend then I thought. She was
expecting one or two weird looks but the clerk's expression never changed.

"Don't think me rude for asking but what do you need this for?" She asked
reappeared carrying an exact duplicate of the stave in all of her grandfather's
books. It look timeless, as if it came from another world. It was eerie how
much it resembled the stave from the Shadow World. They sure do go for
authenticity don't they?

"Well," Jenny said motioning her closer. " I'm going to use this to bring
back a shadow man." She grinned enjoying the shock on the clerks face.

"Shadow man? But you can't--" Jenny cut her off.

"Yes I can. So be a sweetheart and get this stuff for me," she handed her a
list. "and then I'll be on my way."

"Certainly." The other girl sighed walking away and Jenny could have sworn she
mumbled something along the way. It sounded oddly like...they'll eat you
alive.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-