Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or the song "Un-Break My Heart" by Toni Braxton.
Author's Note: I've actually been meaning to write a Squall/Rinoa angst piece to this song for awhile. However, I wasn't really inspired to write one until today. It came out a little different than from what I had anticipated. I took somewhat of a different approach when writing it. Anyway, this is how it turned out. Please let me know what you think.
Un-Break My Heart
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back the smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
It was supposed to be the perfect relationship, the perfect life. Everyone said so. In the beginning, she had believed that as well. Who wouldn't want to be the girlfriend of the almighty Squall Leonhart? He was the Commander of Balamb Garden, he had led the battle that saved the world, and he was drop-dead gorgeous. Rinoa Heartilly knew all of this, but she had seen so much more. She saw the changes in him, how he slowly opened his heart to her. In Rinoa's perfect world, she had believed that they would be together forever. If only she could have seen how truly wrong she was.
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
At first, they had gotten along fine. It was apparent to everyone, both friend and foe, that Rinoa and Squall were crazy about each other. Rinoa knew what they were all saying. "Is this really our Commander?" and "Look how she's changed him." Looking back on it now, she wished that what they said was true. The fact of the matter was, she just hadn't been able to change him enough. In the end, she was beaten by another...his job.
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is cruel without you here beside me
The day he left...oh how she remembered that day. It had been her eighteenth birthday, and she had planned on going to dinner with Squall. Sure, he hadn't actually come out and told her that they were going, but one of the things that Rinoa had come to love about him was the way he was always surprising her. On that day, she had waited for hours in her dorm. As the minutes passed, she made up excuses for him. In her heart, she knew the truth. At midnight, he showed up at her dorm. He told her that he was going away on a mission. He would be leaving the next day. The news made her breakdown completely.
"You forgot about my birthday, didn't you?" As Rinoa had asked the question, she could have swore that she saw regret in his eyes. However, it was quickly covered up with a mask of indifference. That was something you could always rely on with Squall...his lack of emotion.
"Rinoa...I'm sorry. This mission is very important...I...guess you just slipped my mind."
Rinoa had shaken her head sadly. "You can't keep lying to yourself, Squall. I love you, with all my heart, but I can't keep this up. Your job has been your number one priority. I'm giving you this one chance...either me or SeeD. What's it going to be?"
"Rinoa, you can't expect me to choose. I have responsibilities."
"What about me, Squall?" she had said quietly. "Where do I fit in?"
Squall had sighed. "What do you want from me?"
What had she wanted? In her fantasies, she had always imagined Squall smiling and assuring her that of course SeeD wasn't more important. Of course he would pick her. Reality wasn't so kind. "I want you to give me an answer. SeeD or me?"
Squall had become angry then. "You know I can't tell you that I'm going to give up SeeD. I don't have time for these damn games, Rinoa!"
"I'm just a game to you, huh? God forbid I keep you from your mission. Go on, Squall. Do what you have to do."
And he did. Without giving her a second look, he had turned around and left, slamming the door behind him.
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Now, all she wanted to do was go back to that one moment. She would have made Squall stay behind with her. They had parted on such horrible terms...and now she never had a chance to take it back. Because she would, if she had that chance. In a heartbeat. It would be worth every single night that she had cried herself to sleep. If only she could bring him back.
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
It was amazing how one moment in time could change everything. People had said it was fate that Squall and Rinoa would be together forever. Newsflash: the people were wrong. Losing him wasn't supposed to happen, but it did. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much, but the tears never stopped. Every time Rinoa thought about how she could have saved him, the pain just intensified. She could still hear his voice calling her name. She could still feel his arms wrapped around her, his breath on her skin. Why did he have to go?
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
It was funny how you could become so alike someone. Rinoa had always tried to coax Squall out of his shell. He had shown a side to her that no one else had seen. Nobody knew that, in actuality, Squall was gentle and kind. Rinoa found it highly ironic that now that Squall was gone, she was becoming exactly like his former self. Now, she was the one putting up those walls and pushing everyone else away. She hid her pain deep inside of herself and never allowed it to come out...unless she was alone.
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my
Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
The wind whipped Rinoa's hair across her face. She smiled sadly as she remembered how Squall used to love that. He would scoop her up in his arms, running his fingers through her hair and whispering how much he loved her. Rinoa couldn't stop the fresh wave of tears from pouring down her face as she looked at the grave of her love. I need you, Squall...
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on
~*~