Mixed Emotions

Written by: HoshiHikari4ever

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series. That belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Summary: Takes place during Chapter 37, The Lost Prophecy. (Order of The Phoenix Book 5) Right after Harry yells "Then I don't want to be Human!"

Please Read and Review!

Previously:

"Hmm…I see, no normal curse will do. Stubborn Potter, I think it's time for me to knock some sense into you…. It's a shame…you made me so happy when you agreed." "I will never…never…you'll have to kill me." "We'll see about that…We'll see what you think afterwards. After I knock some sense into you…" Voldemort smiled evilly, pointing his wand at Harry's chest.

"…." Talk …. Parasltongue

Chapter 4

The night stars glisten up above. Trees were clumped everywhere.

"Hey Padfoot wait up!" Moony yelled, chasing after the black shaggy dog. The dog stopped, at a clearing, turning his head back to gaze at Moony. Behind Lupin came James and Lily. "The rest stayed behind…obviously they don't care about Harry enough to…" Lupin fell silent. It suddenlly became all dark. "What the…" "Lum…" Before James could light up his wand, a spell came out of nowhere, striking James on his chest. He laid flat on the floor, dead.

"Petrificus Totalus!" a voice called out. Before they knew it, Lupin's arms and legs snapped together, causing her to fell over. "Remus!" Sirius yelled, in his human form. "Lumous!" Both Sirius and Lily's wand lit up. They could make out a figure coming forward. They both gasped at the boy who stood before them, wand outstretch.

"Avada Kedavara!" The boy cried. Lily was thrown onto a large tree, dead, like James. The boy turned to Sirius, his wand outstretched.

"Ha…Harry…" Sirius managed to say. "Good bye Black…." "Avada Ked…" "Expelliarmus!" Sirius bellowed. Harry dodged it. Sirius took this chance and dodged the killing curse.

"Harry, What the hell are you doing? It's me Sirius!" "Cruico!" Sirius dodged it once more. "Dam it! Hold still will you!" "Sirius get out of here, something's wrong with Harry! This isn't him. Get out while you still can!" Lupin yelled. "I'm not leaving you guys here!" "Cruico!" He repelled it with a protective charm. "Harry snapped out of it. Please Harry, it's me Sirius…your godfather….Harry…"

"He won't stop Black…" a voice said behind him. He titled his head back and saw Voldemort standing there. "You! What did you do to Harry! What did you do to him Voldemort!" The Dark Lord chuckled. "Yes, Harry's mine. Harry, kill Sirius for me…" "Yes Voldemort…" "Harry no…. don't take orders from him. It's me Sirius." "It won't work Padfoot. It's obvious that he's being controlled." Lupin whispered softly. "Didn't you Voldemort. You controlled him…at least for now. I'm sure once the truth is…" "This is the truth. I've finally got Harry to work for me…."

"You bastard!" Sirius yelled. Bang! A spell hit Sirius squarely on the chest. He fell splat on the floor. Harry stood in front of him. "So you going to kill me Harry? So you going to kill your own godfather…." Harry hesitated. A light flashed across his eyes, but disappeared. "What…what did you say?" "Are you going to kill me? Kill your own godfather?" "Yes, Voldemort asked me to so…." Sirius sighed. "Go on then, I see you don't need me anymore…" "Avada…" he paused as he caught Voldemort and Lupin's conversation.

"This is it…the end…." "Brat!" Voldemort lingered over Lupin. "the end of the godfather…godson relationship." Lupin did not reply. "You know Lupin, I expected this. I expected Black to come and save Harry."

"Why would he do that? Save me from what? So it's true, he's my godfather?" "Don't ask Harry. Just kill him now. Kill now, explain later…" Harry held his wand steady.

"As I was saying Lupin…" he lowered his voice slightly, but still enough for Sirius to hear. "The most fun part of this is watching too people, closer then family to kill each other off….I mean, Harry risked everything to save Black, and now it is visa versa…"

Why? Why am I doing this? Why am I attacking Sirius Black. He's my godfather…Why attack him? A small voice awoke from inside. Never mind that just kill Sirius Black. Kill all of them. Another voice said.

"I have to admit Lupin. It wasn't easy. He did resist me so many times. I tried the Imperio Curse. It didn't work." "Of course it didn't. It was used on him by the fake Mad-Eye. He resist it." Voldemort chuckled. "I know that. So instead, I had to alter his memory and personality." 'You did what!" "You heard me, so now, you know." He paused. "Sit, I shouldn't have let that slip in front of Harry." Voldemort glanced over at Harry, whose wand hand was shaking.

Harry glanced at Voldemort, then at Sirius. "Is it true Voldemort! Is it true you're using me?" "No" "But you just said…" "Forget about what I said. Kill them all now."

No. Don't Harry. You'll regret it. This time the voice grew louder. "Harry it's true. What Voldemort said is true. He's using you. He's using you to kill me. Kill your godfather. Kill Moony. " he paused. "Kill your parents." "my parents are dead!" Sirius shook his head, an slowly pointed at the two figures on the floor. Harry glanced over. Even trough the mist of inner battle, he could recognizing them instantly.

"I see we're getting nowhere. Fine I'll kill him myself. I'll kill you all myself." Voldemort pointed his wand at Harry. "Avada…" Sirius leapt forward. He pushed Harry aside. They both rolled to the side. The green light missed them by a couple of inches. "Fool! Even now, you risk your life for him." Sirius pointed his wand at Voldemort, shielding Harry from him. "Yes, if you want to kill Harry. You'll have to kill me first. I'll die protecting him!" "Well spoken. Yet, I think you've forgotten something Black. Harry's controlled by me. You just so happen to be in between us." He spoke to Harry. "Now kill Black for me!"

Harry's wand shook. Sirius, he pushed me away. He cares for me. I owe my life to him. He's my godfather. I can't kill him. I won't kill him. The voice grew louder. Then out of nowhere, flashes of the past came flashed through him. He was there for me always. He was always there for me, ever since the third year at Hogwarts. "Kill him Harry. Kill him, otherwise I'll kill you." Voldemort's going to kill me, if I don't kill Sirius. The small voice grew louder. Don't kill Sirius, no matter what happens. Don't kill Sirius! No matter what happened Sirius was always with you. You can't kill him. You can't kill your godfather! "Did you hear what I said?" Voldemort whispered. Harry nodded. He held out his right hand with the wand, pointing at Sirius. His left hand placed on Sirius's shoulder. "Avada…" Harry suddenly pushed Sirius onto the floor. "Kedavra!" The killing curse flew past Sirius's head and headed straight for Voldemort. "Too bad. This won't kill me!" Before the spell hit Voldemort, he had already Disapparated. The spell hit a tree behind where once Voldemort stood.

No one spoke for a while. Harry stretched out a hand to his godfather. Sirius looked up and saw Harry smiling down on him. He smiled back, took Harry's hand and stood up. Sirius gave him a hug. "Oh Harry!" "Sirius, I'm sorry if I…" "It's alright boy. It's all right. As long as you are back. Nothing is more important to me then you Harry." "Same here Sirius. Same here. You'll always be more then a godfather to me…" Sirius beamed.

"Umm…Padfoot, would you please…" Lupin began. Sirius walked towards Lupin. He mumbled a couple of words and the curse was lifted. "There now that should do…." Sirius turned to look at Harry, who was kneeled before his parents.

"Harry…." He turned to face the two. "I…I know this may sound weird, but I don't think it was a big lost." Lupin and Black exchanged looks. "I mean…father and mother's deaths don't seem to affect me that much. At least not as much as the lost of Sirius." "Sirius scooped Harry up. "At least I got to see them. I mean I'm glad…." Sirius held him tighter. "Don't worry Harry. It'll be all right…" Harry nodded. "Let's go back…." Lupin interrupted. Sirius nodded. The tree headed back to #12 Grimmauld Place.