A/N: Props to Adi for catching the subtle Monty Python reference. There's another tiny one here. I saw the movie again yesterday, and I'm getting a better idea of how she's going to fit into all this. My brother is home from college, so I have a pretty reliable source for exact dialogue and comic canon. In retrospect, yes, maybe the language is a little strong for PG-13 by the exact rating system, but what 13 year old doesn't swear every now and then? Even though they tend to giggle in my experience while they're at it. Oh well.

Dear James,

You wouldn't believe what is in the refridgerator around here. Unless they have some kid here that can change into any herbivorous rodent at will, it's useless. The only meat they have is fish and chicken. Everyone's been nice though. So far we have the Professor, a guy named Scott, who just asks for every single crack that gets thrown at him, we have Dr. Jean Grey, who's very nice, but has seriously odd taste in men, as she's fixing to commit matrimony with Scotty. There's Ororo, who is so pretty it makes me want to hide in a sleeping bag and pretend I'm a slug. I can't catch many of the kids' names, there are so many of them. I knew there were probably others like me, but I never thought there were that many. The only kids whose names I've really caught are this Russian kid, Peter, and the first kid I met, John. The only reason they're sticking is because Peter is so tall that I don't have a face to put to his name because I can't quite see it. And John is a lot like me, he has an unnatural love of greasy food and an attitude that is probably out of place at an East Coast prep school. I'm going back to the supermarket today to get everyone something to eat. I already have my own stash in my room if my plan to feed the children is thwarted, so I won't waste away until I can see you again.

Love,

Evelyn

"Are you sure you don't have any classes today?" asked Evelyn. "Because if you do and I get in trouble or get kicked out, you are so dead."

"Evelyn, it's Saturday," said John. Evelyn blinked.

"Didn't know that. Okay, John, ready?"

"Yeah."

"Dunk, you good back there?" The only answer she got from the dog was a sleepy wheezing noise. She pulled away from the mansion, rolling down the window as she lit up.

"So, do you guys learn a normal high school curriculum or what?" she asked John. Evelyn still wasn't quite clear on what they learned. Her high school didn't have nice, attractive people teaching, much less nice, attractive mutants teaching who could probably kill you just as soon look at you.

"I think so, math, physics, english, that kind of stuff. The part about power and responsibility is getting repetitive." John's voice betrayed a little more resentment than he would have wished. Evelyn could sense the impending rant coming her way if she didn't change the subject.

"Really? We had religious education at mine. And by that I mean the 'Catholicism-is-the-only-way-and-everyone-else-is-a-heretic' kind." Evelyn let the smoke curl out of her mouth while she chuckled at what the nuns would say if they could see her now.

"Catholic school? You?" said John disbelievingly, suddenly stricken with the image of a younger Evelyn in a tiny skirt.

"Rule of thumb, sweetie. Catholic school girls either grow up really nice, or they go bad. It depends on how well you respond to ten Hail Marys for punishment and terrible uniforms. I can still say an Our Father, and sometimes I cross myself out of habit, but other than that, I think I fall into the 'bad' category." She pulled into a parking spot in front of the supermarket.

"Alright, follow my lead."

Two minutes into the shopping trip, John's arms were full of more good, fattening food than he knew what to do with. Once Evelyn got to the chips and soda aisle, he gave up and got a cart.

"Um, Evelyn?" he asked. "How are you going to pay for all this?"

"Simple," she said, tossing another bag of Fritos into the cart. "That Logan guy gave me a bunch of money, and I paid for my last motel room in dish-washing."

"You can do that?" asked John. He'd thought that the barter system was dead in America.

"You wouldn't believe what they let you do. One night they didn't have a lounge act in this place in Reno, and I had to sing 'Talk Dirty To Me' with an Elvis impersonator. Should we get some wings?" She gestured toward a pan of chicken wings behind the glass. John nodded.

"Elvis?" he asked dryly.

"Yeah, I've seen my fair share of wannabe-Kings. Will all that keep you crazy kids alive?"

"I think so, but I'll take the mini-cheesecake into the car in case I feel low on blood sugar." Evelyn smirked.

"You smartass. I should never have kids, I'd spoil them rotten." She sighed and loaded the groceries into the back seat, where Duncan was eyeing the chicken wings curiously. "Then again, it's not like I'll be having kids anytime soon. It's enough trouble taking care of myself, and James is almost helpless when it comes to cooking."

John could feel his heart drop into his stomach like a 16-ton weight. "Who's James?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"My...I'm not exactly sure. He is the only non-mutant guy I have ever known who hasn't treated me any different than he did before he knew. I guess that makes him a friend. Then again, he did give me Duncan and a place to stay for the night. He lives in Colorado, though. I guess that makes him pending long-distance boyfriend. I bought those postcards to write to him."

"Oh," said John quietly. What's that noise? he thought bitterly to himself. Oh yeah, that's what hopes being destroyed sounds like. A man can dream. He sat back, discouraged until one part of what Evelyn had said registered.

If this James lives in Colorado, then at least a man can try. He smiled, chewing his cheesecake thoughtfully.

A/N: I promise I'll get to the movie-action soon! Just bear with me and leave some motivation!