Long A/N: The three of you that have commented so far on the meaning of this poem were not all wrong, but neither were you all right. I shall elucidate (I've been wanting to use the word elucidate in a sentence all day! ^_~!)….
Ankasattva/Lilac: In some ways this poem is about pride, but not that of unbelievers. 'taggirl' was right when she said that I was writing about myself. I am a believer, but that doesn't mean that I don't have problems and struggles.
I think there is a time for declaring truth, and it is true that some unbelievers have pride to deal with in their lives. But the intent of this poem was not to condemn anyone. I'll gladly plaster my own difficulties up on the web in verse, b/c it helps me air things out and flex my writing skills, but I don't intentionally wrap anyone else up in the mix. If my writing impacts someone, then all I can say it God was working through it. But if it looks like I was intentionally pointing the finger at somebody, you can be sure that while I was writing, I was thinking mostly about myself.
Taggirl: You were the closest to the mark. The best way I can put it is to say that this poem is about struggling in a rut of religiosity. I've grown up in church, I know all the right answers (more so than most, b/c I'm on the edge of being an intellectual snob ^_~), and the older I get the harder it is to delineate between what I've grown up with and what I truly believe. Right now I'm at the place where intellectually I am still committed to what I believe to be true – I've thought about it, questioned it, searched it out, and I think it's for real. But, at the same time, I'm so used to it that it hardly phases me any more – I've lost the child-like wonder. I've been slowly coming to realize that I've spent all my time making sure I had the right answers, but I often neglected to feed my spirit. While busily trying to know more about God I didn't actually take the time to get to know God – as my father, creator, savior, king… But without that deep relationship the actions and rituals become meaningless. My struggle now is to set aside my own thoughts about myself; to realize that I can't think my way in and out of everything; to deliberately make time to spend with God; and to start acting on truth, not just 'pondering' it.
Wow, that was kind of long-winded… = )
Michi Yuy: It's true, there is an aspect to this poem that say: "Stop thinking so hard, and stop trying to grasp at control, just believe what you know is there." See taggirl's section for a more detailed picture.
Well, there you have it folks….
~Iluvien~