Notes to Readers:

Thanks for the comments!

Those who have read "FireStorm" and "Striking Sparks" will notice some material in common; a fair amount was lifted from those stories and rewritten from Ferdi's viewpoint. This is in order to make this story stand-alone. I am trying not to make the assumption that a reader will automatically be familiar with the facts of the fire.

Hai, it's funny, Everard ought to be in bed himself, and here he is watching Ferdi, who also ought to be in bed. There's something about Tooks and their pride... and blame goes right along with that.

PansyChubb, yes Pimpernel is doing better. She really is a good sort, when in her right mind. Groupies... yes, very funny.

FantasyFan, excellent comments, very helpful. Wine and cheese, lovely, and the Muse thanks you for the fresh pineapple, she plopped a piece into her pina colada and dictated another chapter of "Merlin" and half a chapter of "Flames".

Xena, Hilly discreetly bowed in answer to your cheer. All these Tooks have their failings and foibles, but they do tend to grow on you, don't they? I haven't met a "bad" one yet. Misguided, perhaps. Misinformed, maybe. But none really "bad". Even Paladin tried his best.

Expect an update in this story every other day unless otherwise informed. Angst warning, we are in heavy surf and more breakers loom ahead for the foreseeable future, both in this story, and in "Merlin".

Thankfully, the Muse came through with bridging material to link the first 29 chapters with the already-finished later chapters in "Merlin", plus more chapters are now being added, heading steadily towards that wedding on the Far Downs, I am happy to say, which means I can guarantee you a new chapter in that story every other day for the next week or two, hoorah! (so long as ff.net cooperates)--and managed to finish chapter 52 of "Flames", hoorah again. I must say, Ferdi is looking quite handsome as he stands up for Ev'ard... A new chapter to "Merlin" will be added in between updates to "Flames", in case you are following that story.

***

49. Healing

Mardi listened to Ferdi's breathing, looked down his throat, asked him questions just to hear him speak. Finally he straightened and said, 'You ought to stay in bed, you know.'

'I'm fine,' Ferdi said stubbornly. 'Beds are for sick folk.'

'All right,' Mardi said, giving in, for he had the feeling that Ferdi would get up anyway, or at the very least make life miserable for his watchers. 'You may get up, take late supper in the great room, and then seek your bed again.' He fixed the head of escort with a stern eye. 'Do you hear me?'

'Nothing wrong with my ears,' Ferdi said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

'You mind me, now, or there'll be trouble,' Mardi warned.

Ferdi snorted. 'What sort of trouble?' he said. 'What're you going to do, send me to bed without supper?'

'No, I'll set Woodruff on you,' Mardi said grimly.

Ferdi threw up his hands. 'Spare me,' he said. 'I'll eat, and then seek my bed, if only you'll leave me be.'

Mardi nodded reluctantly, nodded to Hilly and Pimpernel, and left the room.

'Thanks, Nell, for watching with me,' Ferdi said.

'And what am I? Chopped liver?' Hilly said.

'Naw, you'd be stewed liver at the very least,' Ferdi answered. 'But I'm fine, the healer said so, and you may go on about your business.'

'He didn't say you were fine,' Hilly argued.

'He said I could get up,' Ferdi answered. 'Now shoo.' The watchers shooed.

Ferdi dressed, then stretched, taking an experimental breath. As long as he didn't breathe too deeply, he wasn't tempted to cough. He'd keep drinking, of course, more than he wanted, just to encourage healing and keep the healers out of his hair.

He encountered Everard out in the hallway. 'So they let you up,' the other greeted him.

'It was a close thing,' Ferdi said, 'but I talked him round.'

'You silver-tongued fox, you,' Everard said.

'That's me. You may call me "Fox" for short,' Ferdi said with a slight bow, then started walking.

'Where are you going?' Everard asked. 'I thought... it's time for late supper,' he corrected himself. He'd nearly let slip that he'd been assigned to watch the other.

'To see Pip,' Ferdi answered. 'I want to see him with my own eyes. I thought he was dead, when we landed in the yard, but everyone keeps telling me he's still with us.'

'So I've heard,' Everard said. Somehow he thought this might be a bad idea, but Ferdi was a stubborn one, and once he'd set his course there was no turning him from it.

They reached the Thain's private quarters, and Ferdi knocked and entered, Everard right behind him. Recognising the head of the Thain's escort, servants parted before them, though most stayed busy about their tasks; heating water, making tea, preparing herbal concoctions, speaking in low tones.

The two walked through the living area to Pippin's bedroom. Ferdi pushed the door a little wider open, and Woodruff looked up. 'Yes?' she said quietly.

Ferdi had eyes only for the figure on the bed. Pippin was propped up into a sitting position, his head thrown back, mouth gaping. Ferdi could see the chest muscles tighten as he fought for a breath. One gasp. A long pause. Another gasp.

Woodruff rose abruptly, with a nod to Diamond. 'I'll be right back, my dear,' she said. Crossing to the door, she took Ferdi's arm and urged him out, closing the door behind them, cutting off Ferdi's view.

'He's... he's...' Ferdi said in shock. Everard, never before at a loss for words, was silent.

'He's still with us, and fighting hard,' Woodruff said firmly. 'Thanks to you. You got him here quickly enough for us to have a chance to fight.' Ferdi didn't answer, and the healer turned to his watcher. 'Take him to late supper,' she said. 'See if you can get him to eat something.'

'Yes'm,' Everard replied, and steered Ferdi out to the corridor. The other seemed to be in shock, didn't answer when Everard spoke to him, allowed himself to be guided all the way to the great room and seated in his chair.

'You couldn't tell this was a barn just a few hours ago,' one of the Tooks at their table remarked conversationally.

'No, Thorigrim, you couldn't. Someone did a good job scrubbing out.' Everard thanked the server who put plates down in front of him and Ferdi, and picked up his fork, though he wasn't hungry. Ferdi, on the other hand, just sat like a lump, letting the quiet talk flow around him as the hobbits compared notes with each other about the events of the day.

The food was more carefully prepared than usual, the cooks realising the import of food to the exhausted hobbits who gathered there for the last official meal of the day. Everard forced himself to eat and several times tried to get Ferdi to at least pick up his fork, to no avail. Tolly sat down on Ferdi's other side, but Ferdi ignored his attempts to make conversation.

Tolly looked past Ferdi to Everard, raising an eyebrow, and the other shook his head. Leaving Ferdi in peace, he tackled his food without enthusiasm.

When Everard saw his brother come in halfway through the meal, he breathed a sigh of relief and ate with better appetite. Though he'd heard that Reginard had been directing things after the fire, he hadn't actually seen him safe and unhurt until this moment.

They talked quietly about the wonder of the black powder, starting a pleasant argument as to whether anything of value could come out of Buckland, when Ferdi suddenly spoke.

'He shouldn't have been there.'

Everard turned to him. 'What did you say?' he asked quietly.

Ferdi said again, 'He shouldn't have been there. He shouldn't have been at the fire. Why did Regi let him go?'

Everard answered, 'Because Pippin's Thain, and you don't exactly tell the Thain what to do.'

'But he shouldn't have been there!' Ferdi nearly shouted. 'Why did he have to be there?' The hobbits around them fell quiet.

Everard sighed. He had to shock Ferdi out of this mood. 'He was there...' he began quietly, then his voice rose, '...because he was DAFT!' He took in Ferdi's expression with satisfaction; the other was awake, no longer sunk deep within himself but reacting to his cousin's words with indignation, anger. Everard went on. 'He could have stayed, safe in his study, safe in the Smials, with all the doors closed, whilst the fire raged right over Tuckborough and on to the Brandywine. He could have stayed safe...' He fixed Ferdi with his gaze, and let himself deflate. 'But he didn't. Why didn't he? ...because the people are more important than the Thain ...because the Thain swore an oath to protect the people ...because,' and he put a sympathetic hand on Ferdi's shoulder, 'because he had to be there, Ferdi. He had no choice.' Hobbits around them were nodding quietly.

'He wasn't daft,' Ferdi said.

'No, lad, of course he wasn't,' Everard replied. 'I just said that to get you to listen.'

'I should have got him out of there sooner,' Ferdi went on.

'He would have stayed to see the fire break do its work,' Thorigrim countered. 'He had to know if it worked or if it didn't work, so that he would know the next move to be made.'

'You did all you could, Ferdi,' Everard soothed. 'You rode down from the ridge to warn us in the woods. You were the first to see that Pippin was in trouble. You got him out of there as quick as the pony could take the two of you. You did all you could,' he finished.

'At least you didn't leave him to face the flames alone this time,' Thorigrim spoke up. Ferdibrand flinched but didn't answer, and Everard quelled Thorigrim with a look. They finished their meal in silence.

Mardibold rose from his place and put a hand on Ferdi's shoulder. 'Don't give him up quite yet,' he said quietly. 'He's fighting.'

Ferdi nodded, then remembering the glimpse he'd had of Pippin's fight, covered his face with his hands and wept. The other Tooks studiously paid him no mind, and Mardi nodded to Everard. 'Get him to his bed,' he said. 'I'll make up something to help him sleep.'

As Mardi departed, Everard put his hand under Ferdibrand's elbow and urged him up from the table. 'Come, Ferdi,' he said. Tolly met Everard's glance and got up to take Ferdi's other side. Everard nodded thanks, and they escorted him stumbling to his bed and into it.

Mardibold came in, carrying a covered cup, which he coaxed into Ferdibrand, and the three watched while the draught took effect. The healer lifted an eyelid, nodded, said, 'He'll sleep through until morning.'

Tolly said softly, 'He redeemed himself this day.'

Everard shook his head. 'By running away from another fire.' At Tolly's look of shock he said, 'You know that's what the talk will be, should the Thain die. If Pippin lives, of course, Ferdi will be a hero for saving him.'

'He's right, Tolly,' Mardi said softly. 'The Tooks have a long memory, I fear. They've never forgiven him for that youthful prank.'

'They forgave Pippin,' Tolly said stubbornly. 'They made him Thain... we made him Thain.'

'He didn't run away from the fire,' Mardi said. 'If he hadn't stayed to put it out...'

'We didn't have much choice in the matter,' Everard added. 'It was Thain Paladin's wish, it was the natural succession, once he owned his son again, and it was Regi's choice.'

Tolly gave a low snort. 'To remain steward. Why won't he be Thain?'

'For the same reason Mardi here won't be Thain,' Everard said, 'even though he's next in the succession after Pippin.'

'Don't start that again,' Mardibold said. 'Old Isembold, in his infinite wisdom, excused his descendants from the Thainship. It'll pass on to your branch of the family, Ev'ard, and you know it. Will you take it on, if Reginard declines?'

'He won't decline,' Everard said. 'He'll hate it, but he'll take it on. We're running out of options.'

'Who says the Thain has to be a Took?' Mardibold said.

Everard looked at him sharply. 'Mardi!' he reprimanded. 'Bite your tongue!'

The healer only smiled and rose. 'He won't need watchers this night, but you might check on him in the morning, see if you can get him to eat something,' he said.

'I'll watch with him,' Tolly said quietly. 'I'm not sure I'd be able to get up from this chair, anyhow. You go get some sleep, Ev'ard, you look exhausted.'

'Do you want me to make you up a draught?' Mardi said, eyeing him.

'You keep your potions to yourself, Mardi,' Everard said. 'I'm going to take a little walk, and then I'll take myself off to bed. You needn't worry about me.'

Mardi was right about the sleeping draught; Ferdi slept through the night without stirring. Tolly nodded off at one point, jerking awake to find that the other hadn't moved, though several hours had passed if the burned-down candles were any indication.

A tap came at the door; it was Hilly. 'Breakfast,' he said.

'My, my, aren't we coming up in the world. Breakfast served by the Thain's own escort,' Tolly said dryly.

'They have me escorting trays, at the moment,' Hilly said.

'Ah,' Tolly answered succinctly, then nudged Ferdibrand. 'Breakfast has come,' he said, 'and I know you won't eat it cold, so you'd better waken.'

'Don't want any,' Ferdi said blearily.

'Well you're to eat it anyhow, healer's orders,' Tolly said. 'You know how to take orders, don't you?'

'You can order him to fly, but I doubt he'll sprout feathers and...' Hilly began.

'You're no help at all,' Tolly said in exasperation. 'Do go escort your trays somewhere else.' Hilly huffed and left the room.

A tap at the door and Regi stuck in his head. Ferdibrand looked up sharply.

'Well?' Ferdi demanded. 'Is he...?' his courage failed him, and he could not ask the question.

'He's breathing, Ferdi,' Reginard answered quietly. 'Which is more than he'd be doing had you not got him out of there so quickly.' Ferdi looked away, and Regi added, 'Now eat. That's an order from your steward.'

'Right,' Ferdi said tonelessly, and picked up a piece of bread, breaking off a chunk and chewing without enthusiasm. Well, at least he was eating. Regi shared a look with Tolly, and the other nodded. Someone would have to keep watch over Ferdi, as long as he remained in this somber mood.

Hilly came mid-morning to relieve Tolly. 'They're serving elevenses a bit early,' he said. 'Why don't you get some and take yourself off to bed.'

'I'll do that,' Tolly said. 'What is it today?'

'Lovely chicken pie,' Hilly said, looking hopefully at Ferdi, but the other sat quietly, propped up on the bed atop the covers, carving at a bit of wood with his pocketknife. He did not raise his eyes. 'They'll be sending out the trays soon, Ferdi, unless you'd rather eat in the great room?'

'They needn't bother,' Ferdi said, eyes on his work.

'You need to eat,' Hilly said. A good gauge of hobbit health was the amount of food he took in, and Ferdi hadn't eaten enough to sustain a flea since the previous day.

'At least drink something,' Tolly said, pouring a cup of water and holding it out. Ferdi knew better than to resist; the healers would pop him back into the bed if someone complained he wasn't drinking the prescribed amount to counter the smoke he'd breathed.

'All right, take yourself off,' Hilly said. 'He'll eat when the tray comes. I'll see to it.' Tolly wasn't so sure, but he nodded and left the room.

Hilly sat with Ferdi the rest of the day, nagging him mercilessly when trays of food arrived until he ate in spite of himself. After late supper, Tolly reappeared, with news that the healers said Pippin was holding his own, or better, and that he was to take over from Hilly for the rest of the night.

'Go on, Tolly, I don't need a watcher,' Ferdibrand said in annoyance.

'Healer's orders,' Tolly said imperturbably. 'All who breathed smoke are not to be let alone until further notice. Why, you might just drop dead like that,' and he snapped his fingers.

'I doubt that,' Ferdi said.

'So do I,' Tolly said low, 'but if Woodruff finds out I've left you alone this night she'll make my life miserable.' He looked at Hilly. 'Off you go, now,' he said. 'And if you go to the Duck for a mug, I don't want to hear about it.' He turned to Ferdi. 'On second thought, why don't we all go to the Duck...'

'No,' Ferdi said.

Tolly shook his head. 'I thought not,' he said, and beetling his eyebrows he glowered at Ferdi, 'and don't you go suggesting I go off without you.'

Ferdi, who'd been about to suggest that very thing, turned back to his carving. He wished everyone would just leave him alone, but he seemed doomed to be in company.

He fell asleep while carving, and Tolly gently took stick and knife from his hands and settled the coverlet over him. Pulling up the other chair, he rested his feet on the bed and sat back, and soon his snores mingled with Ferdi's.

Hilly came with the breakfast tray, ready to settle in for the day, but then Reginard tapped at the door shortly after breakfast.

Ferdi greeted him with relief. 'Did you come to tell them to leave me alone?' he said.

'No, I came to take a turn watching with you,' the steward answered. Ferdi rolled his eyes and shook his head.

'Honestly,' he said. 'You'd think I was ill.'

'You still have a cough,' Reginard said sternly, and Ferdi sighed. It wasn't worth the arguing.

Ferdi took up his carving again; rather a nice flowering vine twining about a staff was emerging. A tap came at the door and Mardi entered at Regi's invitation.

'O good, did you come to set me free?' Ferdi asked, putting down knife and carving.

'No, the Thain's asking for you,' the healer answered.

'For me?' Ferdi said stupidly.

'Aye, lad,' Mardi answered.

'Is he awake, then?' Regi asked, rising abruptly.

'No, not awake, not really, but he wants Ferdi and he'll tire himself if he doesn't get him, is my way of thinking,' Mardi said.

'Come along, then, Ferdi, let us not keep him waiting,' Regi said, taking Ferdibrand's arm and urging him forward.

They entered the room, to find Diamond leaning forward, holding her husband's hand. As the door opened, she looked up, then back to her husband. 'Ferdi's here, now, Pippin,' she said soothingly. 'He's here, my love, it's all right.'

The Thain moved his head slightly on the pillow. 'Ferdi,' he breathed. 'Stand, Ferdi. Stand fast.'

Reginard gave Ferdibrand a push, and the latter moved forward to take Pippin's other hand. 'I'm here, Pip,' he said.

'Stand fast,' Pippin whispered.

'The fire's coming, Pippin, but I'll stand,' Ferdibrand said, understanding suddenly, realising that Pippin was reliving the fire in his dream. 'But you've got to get out of this smoke.'

'I'm fine,' Pippin whispered. He took a few more rapid breaths. 'Stand, Ferdi.'

'I'm standing, cousin,' Ferdi said. 'Tooks aren't going to see me run this time.'

'Good,' Pippin said, and relaxed. 'That's good.' Ferdi started to pull away, and Pippin moved again. 'Ferdi...'

'I'm here,' Ferdibrand said.

'My fault,' Pippin whispered. His eyes were half-opened, and he seemed to be seeing Ferdi there beside him. 'It was my fault, and you got the blame.'

Ferdi swallowed hard. What was Pip talking about? There had been so many pranks in the old days, and they'd been caught out more than once. Usually Ferdi, as the older and supposedly wiser one, got the blame. 'Not your fault, Pip,' he said, taking a stab. 'We were both in on it, and I was old enough to know better.'

'My fault, 'twas my idea,' Pippin said again. 'Ruined your life for you, and then went off on an adventure and left you to the Tooks.'

This long speech took what little energy the Thain had, and he settled back on the pillows, limp and spent, gone away from them again. Ferdi wondered if his cousin was talking about the stable fire they'd caused when a prank went wrong, which had branded him evermore a coward in the eyes of the Tooks, notwithstanding his "bravery", if you could call it that, against the ruffians. He had run for help, and Pip had stayed to fight the flames, and Pip was forgiven on that account, while Ferdi lived with everlasting blame.

But... perhaps this was about slipping his escort, buying his freedom at Ferdi's expense. Whichever it was, didn't matter. His cousin was using energy he could ill afford to spend at the moment to try to make amends.

'Yes, cousin,' Ferdi said, squeezing the hand in his. 'You did go off without me, 'tis true, and I was angered for a long time. But you hardly ruined my life; I did a fine job of that myself.'

He gazed searchingly into the still face. 'Pip?' he said softly. 'Do you hear me? I do not have to keep on the path to ruin, I can choose another way. I do choose another way. Pippin? I'm standing fast now.' He squeezed the hand again. 'You keep fighting, do you hear me, cousin? Stand fast, yourself.'

'Why don't you sit with him awhile, Ferdi?' Mardi suggested. Ferdi sank into the chair by the bed, and Mardi turned away to pour a cup of water. 'Here, drink this,' he urged. 'You took in enough smoke in the fire, you need to keep drinking.' Still holding Pippin's hand, Ferdibrand sipped obediently.

Mardibold looked over at Diamond. 'I'll be back soon, Mistress,' he said. 'I need to fetch some more herbs to be simmering.'

Pippin lay as he had the previous day, head thrown back, mouth gaping for air. The little energy he'd gained seemed to have left him again. The thought struck Ferdi that he must have looked this way after being crushed by the troll... but no, that was just a story, wasn't it?

He must have been thinking aloud, for Diamond said softly, 'It was no story, and yes, he nearly died. Merry coaxed him through, he said, holding his hand and talking and singing himself hoarse.'

'He always made such a jest of it,' Ferdi said.

'He does that,' Diamond smiled. She raised the hand she held to her lips and lowered it again.

They talked quietly, and Ferdi told a few stories from his and Pippin's shared childhood for Diamond's benefit. 'He was quite the scamp,' she said, laughing. 'And I thought Faramir was a handful.'

'Faramir's very quiet, compared to his father,' Ferdi said. 'Such a serious lad, for his age.'

'He's had to grow up quickly,' Diamond said, her eyes sad. Her hand tightened on her husband's, and he roused slightly.

'Ferdi?' he said.

'I'm here,' Ferdibrand answered, leaning forward to squeeze the hand he held.

'Too much... to ask... forgiveness...' the Thain said.

'He's still on that song,' Ferdi said softly, then louder, for Pippin's benefit, he said, 'I forgave you a long time ago, Pip, no need to worry your head about it now. You just work on coming back.' As Pippin settled back against the pillows, Ferdi added quietly, 'Still, it is nice to be asked, for a change.'

***

At sunset, Woodruff chased Ferdibrand from the room. 'You've sat here all day,' she said, 'with hardly a thought for yourself.'

'I've eaten,' Ferdi said, and Diamond smiled. She'd seen to that. If she couldn't stuff her husband with food, she'd settle on the next available hobbit.

'That's a good thing,' Woodruff said. 'You've eaten, and now you go take your rest. I will need you here again in the morning, to keep watch. Promptly after breakfast, mind.'

'Yes'm.' Ferdi laid the hand he held gently upon the coverlet, nodded to Diamond. 'You rest, too, cousin,' he said.

'Don't you worry about me,' Diamond said. 'I didn't breathe any smoke, after all.'

'Good night, Pippin,' Ferdi said. 'I hope to see you in the morning.'