L.A. Connaissance

7.

The Line Between

Have you ever had that dream where you're two years old alone in the park and some random old man gives you a shiny silver balloon and tells you that it has magic powers only instead it turns into a frog and eats you?

Yeah, me too.

Only not recently. In fact, I may have made that up just now. I don't really remember. Excitement does that to people you know. I don't mean turning them into compulsive liars, i mean that it can make then extremely excitable.

And oh I am.

Why?

Okay, seriously, you're on like part 7 of my extremely-well-written memoirs and you're still asking this? Okay okay fine. (whispering) it's michael.

Okay, so, the last thing I told y'all about was me completely humiliating myself and going against basically all the rules of womanhood by telling him that I might be vaguely interested in him. I mean I don't think "you know perfectly well by now that I think that you're attractive and I came all this way to talk to you and I had to pretend to understand that secretary's directions and then pretend and lie about some malfunctioning account… and you're still being egotistical enough to ask me what I'm doing here." is that clear right? There's still the chase right? RIGHT?

Yeah, I thought so. He still wants me... I mean even if you/I/anonymous woman were just the teensiest bit forward and aggressive, it doesn't mean that you/I/random woman are/am/is suddenly condemned as sluts that no one wants to deal with!! Oh god... I shouldn't have done that... He's definitely not going to call.

I mean who would call a lowly "bank teller" who lies to the CIA, worries about getting poof-tahs whenever she sees a wrinkle, and talks to her shirt in hopes of persuading it to stretch itself and make the neckline lower? And it gets even worse when you take a look at the people that claim to be my friends... I mean come ON! Marcy with hair big enough to make up for Rob's own...deficiencies where size matters and then Rob himself... Chicken farm date boy who, despite his chicken noodle, makes love so weirdly that the noises his "lover" makes sound like those of a dying sea monkey with no eyes and 16 ears!!!!!!

God. Oh GOD what the hell was i thinking?




Okay you guys... This is what i wrote about 2 months ago. And I think it might be dead. Maybe when I'm stressed, I'll deal with it with humor again. And Junior Year spells out stress so you may see more of this story sooner than you thought...

that is... If any of you still remember this... Or like it anymore... Or read it... Yeah.


Let me know what you think.

-jenn