*Author's Note: To look at my disclaimer and all of that, go to the first chapter.*

On to the story!

****

*Chapter Eight – Escape to Walmart*

At the North Hall dorm, Chris Jericho and Steph McMahon were sprawled out on Steph's bed, just talking of nothing in particular. Steph was laying on Chris' chest, staring at the ceiling. Wow, being with Chris is so worth skipping dinner, she thought as she listened to his heart beat in her ear. So worth it! Even better, Shane doesn't know of us being together…yet. Chris, who was laying back on Steph's pink satin pillow, thought, I hope Matt and Rob understand why I'm skipping dinner tonight with them. I explained the situation, so I'm sure they know why. Molly Holly, Steph's roommate, had realized the fact that Chris and Steph needed to be alone, so she went on a search for her cousin Crash. Steph smiled. I'm glad Molly understands where I'm coming from, she thought as she kissed Chris on the cheek.

"Chris?" she asked, breaking the silence. Chris growled. Damnit, Steph, I'm fine just laying here with you. Can't I enjoy the silence? I'll be damned if I get any silence back at my room, he thought.

"Yes?"

Steph pouted. "You sound kind of annoyed at me."

Chris coughed. "No, really, I'm not. I'm just exhausted." Just then, Steph's stomach growled.

Chris looked at his girlfriend and laughed. "Did you eat anything at all today like I told you to?"

Steph sighed. Not really. I was too busy being in class and thinking of being with you, she thought as she attempted to sit up. "No."

Chris pulled Steph back down to the bed, which made her giggle. "Steph, how about you and me head out somewhere to eat?"

Steph whispered in his ear, "Really?"

Chris nodded. Anything for you, my dear, he thought as he sat up on the bed. "Where do you want to go? It's on me."

Steph smiled. I love how he leaves stuff up to me, she thought as she jumped off the bed and grasped his hand. "How about we go to Walmart, grab a few microwaveable meals, and have a night in?" Chris shrugged. Not really what I had in mind, but hey, I did leave it up to her, didn't I? As long as I'm back at the room by midnight, I'll be fine, he thought.

"Okay, Walmart it is." With that, he grabbed his keys, picked her up, and left the room, closing the door behind them.

At Walmart, Stone Cold was pacing around near the electronics section. Walmart was about 7 minutes driving distance from WWE U, and Stone Cold was "hiding out" from the Undertaker. Stone Cold had gotten the idea to go there whenever his best friend, the Rock, had phoned him on his cell phone and said, "Go to Walmart now because 'Taker is ready to really beat your ass in." For most of the WWE students, Walmart was a hideout, an escape from anyone or anything. The Rock told him how the Undertaker was all getting up in his face about Stone Cold's whereabouts, and luckily was able to divert his attention for a few minutes to make the call.

It sucks that he was late for class because of that son of a bitch, Stone Cold thought as he admired some CDs in the electronics section. But that's what he is, a son of a bitch. A sucky excuse for one. Stone Cold strolled down to the video game section of the electronics and paused. Oooh, what's this? Spiderman the game? Ah, shit, I don't have X-Box, he thought as he pouted. Why do they all have all the good games for X-Box, anyway? I heard it was a piece of shit. Stone Cold smiled. At least I have Playstation 2! He then walked to the DVD section and browsed around. Hmmmm, I have that one, have that one, never heard of that one, hmmm, what's this? "Raging Rattlesnakes?" Sounds interesting. Rattlesnake is my nickname, damnit. And it's a bargain at 10 bucks. I'm gonna grab this one, he thought as he picked it up and headed for the cash register.

He put the DVD down at the register, and the guy who was there, a tall, scrawny kid with red spiky hair, said, "You're buying this?"

Stone Cold nodded. "Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"

The kid shook his head. "No, sir. I was just wondering why you were buying it, that's all."

Stone Cold glared at the kid and said, "Now listen, boy, I don't think it's any of your business why I'm buying this DVD. Understood?"

The kid scanned the DVD and said in a bored tone, "That'll be 11.50, sir."

"What?!" Stone Cold yelled, digging for his wallet.

"Eleven fifty. Do you want me to say it slower? Eeeeeleveeennnn fiiiiifffftyyyy."

Stone Cold grabbed 15 dollars out of his wallet and slapped it onto the table. "Boy, don't be getting smart with the Rattlesnake. I ain't retarded, ya know."

The kid looked at Stone Cold and laughed hysterically. "That explains why you're buying this crappy movie! No wonder!"

Stone Cold grabbed the kid by the collar of his shirt and yelled, "Hey kid, I told you once and I'll tell you again – the Rattlesnake ain't retarded. What?! I said the Rattlesnake ain't retarded." The kid nervously gave Stone Cold his change, and literally threw the bag at him. Stone Cold smirked at the kid and remarked, "And that's the bottom line 'cause Stone Cold said so!" And with that, Stone Cold left the electronics section.

The kid shook his head and muttered, "Man, what a fucknut."

At this time, Chris Jericho and Steph McMahon entered Walmart. Steph was excited because she was going to be able to buy some cans of Spaghettios, one of her guilty pleasures that her parents never let her eat while she was at home. Since she came from a rich family, her parents cooked their food instead of eating food from cans. They thought that it was below their level. Well, they can't stop me from eating them since I'm away at school, she reasoned with glee as she headed straight for the snacks aisle, dragging poor Chris behind her. Why did I agree to this? I mean, I'm here at Walmart, with a woman, no less, he thought as Steph was deciding between what kind of canned foods to get for her room. And I know from experience that if you go to Walmart with a woman, they're going to want to buy a whole bunch of stuff that they just don't need. Steph picked up 5 cans of Spaghettios and smiled at Chris. Chris smiled back, not knowing what Steph was thinking. I wonder if Chris likes them too, she thought as she held them up to him. Chris shrugged. Spaghettios are alright. Macaroni and cheese is better, he thought. But I'm not about to tell her that.

"Chris," Steph whined, "Aren't you gonna get anything?"

Chris laughed. "Hun, I have a stove and a refrigerator. I think I'll be fine." Steph pouted. Damn you for having those things. I could be living there but no, I had to end up in the damn dorms where I have to live off of fattening canned food for the whole damn year, she thought as she accidentally dropped a can. To Chris' amusement, it started rolling down the aisle.

"Oh my God, it's rolling away!" Steph yelled, running after it.

Chris yelled, "Steph, don't worry about it! I mean, surely someone will pick it up…"

They followed the can and saw it stop – right under the red sneaker of Jeff Hardy. Chris saw this and laughed hysterically.

Edge, who was with Jeff, looked at Chris and said, "Oh hey, uh, Curtis…isn't that your name?"

Chris scowled. "It's Chris, jackass."

Edge blinked. "Sorry, man. What are you and the scorchcake doing here?" Steph laughed. Scorchcake? Wow, that Edge guy has a vocabulary all his own, she thought as she clung to Chris' arm, the four remaining cans of Spaghettios in her hands.

"We're uh…" – he looked at Steph – "trying to buy food for the room." Steph nodded.

"Oh really? Jeffness and I were doing that, too. Plus he needed to pick up some pantyhose for some reason." Edge told Chris.

Jeff elbowed him hard. "Damnit, Edgeness, don't be spreading the word about me buying pantyhose!  I don't need people up here thinking I'm gay!" Chris' eyes went wide. Wow, I knew this kid was a freak because of what Matt told me, but obviously I didn't know how much of a freak he is, he thought.

"Why would a guy be buying pantyhose?" Chris chortled.

Steph hit him in the arm with one of her cans of Spaghettios. "Let him. Maybe he's buying it for his girlfriend." Chris laughed. Man, the day this assclown gets a girlfriend is the day I cut all my beautiful hair off, he thought.

Jeff glared at Chris. "Why you keep laughing at me, Chris? I thought we were cool."

Edge was glaring at Chris too. "Yeah, man, I thought you two were cool."

Chris shrugged. "I'm sorry… I don't mean to be mean to you, but I just have no idea why you would be buying pantyhose, Jeff. I mean, that's a girl thing, you know?" Jeff sighed. Oh, Chris, you just don't understand, he thought as he kicked the floor with his sneaker. I use it to make a point – to be different. That is me – unique, different, one-of-a-kind. And they're a cheap way to make shirts, too.

"Would you like me to show you sometime?" Jeff asked.

Chris nodded. "Yeah, show me tomorrow night at the Rock's party, in fact. Ha, not!"  He put his arm around Steph. "Are you going, though?" Jeff blinked, and then looked at Edge.

"Did you hear about this party?" Chris hit his head with his palm. Well, hell, we were there when the Rock and his crew were mentioning it, he thought as Steph stroked his ponytail.

Chris sighed. This Jeff and Edge…they're going to be testing a lot of my patience, he thought as he smiled wearily at Steph. Thank God I don't have to room with them. "Listen. The Rock and his people, they have a back-to-school bash every year. Well, the one for this year is tomorrow night. I was just asking if you two were going since all of campus except for a few people are invited." Chris explained.

"Oh, that one!" Edge laughed. "Of course! I want to meet some full-on scorchcakes!" Steph giggled. There he goes with that word again, she thought as Chris stroked her back.

Jeff nodded. "I need to meet a chick. A nice one…" – his green eyes went wide – "a freaky one."

Chris shrugged. "I don't know if you've been looking around campus that well, Jeff, but there really aren't that many freaky chicks on campus."

Jeff frowned. "Well, damnit, there has to be someone for me!"

Edge patted his friend on the back. "Don't worry, dude. You'll get someone." He looked at Steph and mouthed, "Why you're with him, I'll never know."

Steph smiled and mouthed back, "But he's great to me."

Edge shrugged. "Whatever. Anyways, I think Jeffness and I better get going now. I have a shitload of homework to crack down on."

Jeff nodded in agreement. "Me, too. Nice running into you two, I guess." He took the can of Spaghettios from under his foot and looked at the label. "Spaghettios…hey Edgeness, do we need those for the apartment?"

Edge shrugged. "Well, I really don't feel like hitting the grocery store, so that'll work for now."

Jeff grinned at Steph, and said, "Awesome. See you two later!"

"Bye!" Steph yelled as Jeff and Edge ran for the canned food aisle.

Chris looked at Steph and said, "Uh, those cans are cold…you can let me go now."

Steph looked down and cried, "Oh my God, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cold! I mean, I didn't--''

Chris cut her off. "It's alright. Now can I grab my food and can we get outta here?" he laughed. He leaned closer. "I mean, I wanna hang out with you alone before Molly gets back."

Steph kissed him on the nose. "I think that can be arranged."

Just then, Chris heard maniacal laughter. Holy shit, I can recognize that laughing from anywhere, he thought. Chris' eyes went wide and he whispered to Steph harshly, "Hun, let's go and hide – and fast – because I just got sight of my evil roommate heading this way!"

Steph's eyes went wide in fear. She knew exactly who he was talking about. "It's Undertaker, isn't it?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah, let's go and hide where he would never find us…the toy section!" Steph nodded in agreement as the two ran to that section and tried to blend in. But they didn't have to worry, for the Undertaker was looking for Stone Cold.

In the next aisle, Jeff Hardy and Edge were knocked over by an irate Stone Cold. "Fuck!" he whispered, "I thought he wouldn't find me here! Someone ratted out on me!" Edge and Jeff, who were on the floor with a bunch of cans of Spaghettios and the like, stared up at the Rattlesnake, who was carrying his bag containing his DVD.

Edge's mouth went wide. "Oh my God, you're like, the uh, the uh…umm…"

"The Rattlesnake? Yes, that's me, boy. Listen, if you two wouldn't mind…could I hitch a ride back with you to campus?"

The maniacal laughter came closer. Jeff's eyes went wide. Oh shit, it's Undertaker. Poor Matt, he thought as he dragged Edge slowly away from Stone Cold. "Jeffness, what the hell are you doing, man?"

Jeff growled, "I just heard the Undertaker's maniacal laugh. We better run for it before he comes and gets us all."

Stone Cold whispered, "No, son, you don't need to worry. It's me he's after. That's why I was asking for a ride back to campus, so he doesn't notice that I'm here."

Jeff said harshly, "What, so he can come and get me and Edgeness too? I don't think so!"

Edge dragged Jeff back to where he was. "Jeffness, don't you realize that we have a chance here to get into the cool crowd? It's what we've wanted since we started school a few days ago, right?" Jeff thought for a minute and then nodded silently. "Well, Stone Cold is in that group, and he needs us. So if we save him from Undertaker, he might take us under his wing, so to speak. Are you in with me or out?"

Jeff sighed. I guess I have no choice, he thought. "I'm in."

The Undertaker looked around. "Here, Stone Cold…where are you?" he said slowly, walking around and keeping his eyes out for his enemy. He turned to his brother, Kane. "Damnit, Bro, you said he was here."

Kane shrugged. "Not really. I just wanted you to bring me here so I could get some Doritos."

The Undertaker growled. "This is not the time to think about food, damnit! This is the time to think about getting even, getting revenge…and kicking Stone Cold's ass!" Kane sighed. Damn, bro, you're a real spazz, he thought to himself sadly. A real spazz that has everyone at WWE U fearing for their lives every time you come by.

"Listen, Bro, I think you should just settle down, let me get my food, and head back to campus. What do you say?" Kane asked.

The Undertaker groaned. "No, I'm here with a purpose, and that's to kick Stone Cold's ass. He's not respecting me like he should." Kane laughed in his head. A lot of people aren't respecting you like they should, he thought, inspecting a bag of cheese curls. You should give up the respect thing and work on being nice to everyone, like me. That'll surely scare the living hell out of people!

"Bro, you realize that a lot of people don't respect you."

The Undertaker yelled, "Like who?! Give me their names so I can make them famous!"

Kane winced. "Seriously, Bro, calm down. Come on." Kane picked up his bag of Doritos. "Come on, Stone Cold isn't here. I'm sure he was having a bad day and he didn't mean to take it out on you." Kane was attempting to drag his older brother out of Walmart but was not succeeding because he was inspecting every aisle they passed by.

Undertaker snarled, "I'm not leaving until I know that I have beaten Stone Cold to a bloody pulp!" Kane sighed. I don't think he's ever gonna learn that violence is not the answer, he thought as he fought the urge to open the bag of Doritos and dump them all over his brother.

Meanwhile, Jeff Hardy, Edge, and Stone Cold were preparing to make their getaway. "Shit, he's right there." Jeff muttered, seeing Kane and the Undertaker at the cash register right in front of them. They were hiding in the candy aisle, watching the two brothers have a heated argument.

Stone Cold laughed a little. "Kane was always the peaceful one. Don't know why the Undertaker doesn't follow his example."

Edge shrugged. "Who knows, man." Kane looked back to see Edge and waved.

"Oh shit, they saw us. Noooo, we're gonna get killed for sure!!" Jeff yelled, trying to run to the next aisle.

Stone Cold grabbed him by the scrawny arm. "Jeff boy, listen here, and listen good. Kane isn't out to hurt anyone like his brother is. If anything, he's a good friend to me. If his brother is about to kick my ass, he'll be on my side no matter what."

Edge gave Stone Cold a confused look. "Are you sure?"

Jeff sighed. "I'm just afraid of what he's doing to my brother, you know?" And I know he's hurting from it, bad, Jeff thought. Matty isn't normally so afraid of things. Undertaker is stripping him of his security, one day at a time, and I don't like it.

The three continued to watch Undertaker and Kane argue.  Undertaker asked Kane, "Who the hell were you waving to?"

Kane shrugged, trying to block his view of Edge, Jeff, and Stone Cold. "Oh, it was Professor Anderson." he told his brother. "I'm actually on his good side, unlike you."

The Undertaker rolled his eyes. "I know exactly who you were waving at, Bro. It was Stone Cold, wasn't it?"

Kane shrugged, playing dumb. "No, I swear to God, it was Professor Anderson." The Undertaker thought, you're lying to me, bro, and I don't like it! Don't tell me that you're not respecting me like you should, either! Kane waved again.

"Alright, that's it!" the Undertaker growled and looked at where his brother waved and saw no one. He had a confused look on his face.

Kane shrugged. "Professor Anderson left…but he was there."

The Undertaker said, still with a confused look on his face, "If you say so…but I still don't believe you." Kane sighed a sigh of relief. Thank God, I spared Stone Cold from another one of my brother's attacks, he thought as he saw Jeff, Edge, and Stone Cold run out the exit.

****

End of Chapter Eight…