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Part 14

She'll break to you. . . The words swam round in his head, rebounding this way and that, only tossing him further into the river of confusion -named Max- that threatened to suck him under with the mystery that shrouded her. As he studied the surface of the door in front of him Alec mused to himself caught up in his own thoughts. He hadn't been surprised at all when they'd told him that Max was already awake and they were letting her leave the infirmary. What had surprised him was that she'd agreed to stay put in her own apartment for a couple of days.

Pushing the door open he stepped into the room, a subconscious shiver at the medical equipment within it, resurfacing with memories he'd much rather keep buried. He hadn't known her for all that long but something told him that whoever had compromised with her was either an extremely skilled negotiator of they'd given Max a whole lot more drugs.

Brown coffee bean colored pools flicked to him catching his, a lost and slightly vulnerable look in her eyes. Widening in surprise she blinked wiping every trace of the emotion he'd seen from her shiny irises.

An X5 he now knew as Creek had walked into his room, interrupting his conversation with Jondy and breaking the anxious silence. He'd asked if Max's sister could take her back to their place and a small smile had flitted across her mouth. Quickly shifting the job to him she'd left blurting something about Headquarters and for the life of him Alec wasn't sure exactly why he thought this was a bad idea.

His leg hurt like hell but it was still better than a couple of hours before when he'd awoken this morning. It was the even throbbing in his leg, beating in tandem with his racing heart that brought him crashing back to earth and to the land of the living.

She was looking at him curiously now; studying his movements as if trying to detect what was making him feel so jittery. Growling at his thoughts and panicked assumptions he schooled his feelings and managed to acquire a semblance of control.

"Jondy had some stuff to do so they sent me to take you back to your apartment," he explained, content that his voice had remained even.

Nodding at him she remained quiet rising to her feet and finding her balance. He watched her, giving no visible sign of helping her, somehow knowing she didn't want it. Yet he stood close enough to be able to reach her in time should she grow dizzy or lose her footing.

Taking a first step she swayed imperceptibly but Alec's hand shot out, going to the small of her back and spreading his palm until every inch of skin was flat against the cotton of her dusky blue shirt.

Sucking in a breath, his fingers brushed against the skin where her top didn't meet the jeans and he shut his eyes for a moment, missing the flicker of illegible and indecipherable emotion that glinted in her irises.

Leading her out of the infirmary he slowed his steps taking as much precaution as he could about her injuries. If it had been up to him he'd have left her in bed, strapped down to prevent her from escaping at all, but it was out of his hands. Fact of the matter was she'd pretty much become the brains, brawn and everything else behind this operation. She'd become leader of the transgenics without even trying.

The sun was out, a rarity in this Seattle season and Alec let his lips catch a small smile when he caught her closing her eyes and letting the soothing, hot fingers of the sunrays tickle and glow against her face.

The silence was taught and yet held a calming familiarity as they walked side by side towards Max's TC apartment. Millions of questions flew in and out of his mind, zipping past his eyes where she caught glimpses of his curiosity. But she looked away from his glance-stealing eyes, studying the broken pavement and scatter of litter.

It was Alec who broke the silence but even straining her ears she had difficulty deciphering the tune as he hummed a song. She could see her building a fair way off, the top floors poking out above all the others but she couldn't get her attention off his in-tune mumbling.

She smiled confused as he caught her eyes and a quick 'Possum-in-headlights' flitted across his face before it was gone replaced by a small grin, "Sorry," he said apologetically, "Didn't know I was doing it out loud."

She shook her head laughing softly her hand on her wound trying to stop the hurting, "What were you humming?"

He shrugged, embarrassed and non-committed, "Ah it was nothing," he explained, "Just a pre-pulse song I though fit the mood a little."

Max was beyond curious now as they slowly trudged towards her place, his hand still at her back and she leant into it, closer to his warmth, "I want to know," she told him in a hushed soft tone. Her head swayed a little and dizziness and nausea swept over her. Her hand shot out in reflex grabbing his shoulder to get her balance again.

Anger sparked in Alec, disbelief to the fact that they'd let her WALK back to her apartment, "That's it, I'm carrying you the rest of the way, you shouldn't even be out of bed, much less walking," he ground through gritted teeth and he picked her up much like you would pick a child and comfort it; surprising both her and himself at his protectiveness.

She couldn't find the words to stop him and her hands went round his neck as she leant her chin on his shoulder. His arms kept her close to him, one below her buttocks and the other on her back safely.

"It's not so bad," she muttered next to his ear, her soft puffs of breath tickling his ear and taking Alec to a higher plane of sensation, "It's not like I haven't had to do it before now. Manticore wasn't big on the whole, 'Stay-in-bed-coz-you're-sick', 'specially for me."

Lips pulled in a tight line and his jaw set Alec kept on walking, his footsteps small and smooth to not jar her about.

The heavy silence once again fell between the pair sending both into deep thought and though carrying Max was barely an effort for him, his breath labored and strained. Alec suspected it had to do with the soft puffs of breath she expelled on the side of his cheek and neck as it sparked tingles of sensation to shoot down his spine.

Their closeness was affecting him way more than he'd ever admit and Alec tried to steady his heartbeat to match his footsteps, long and steady in their rhythm. He could see her building up ahead and he sent a silent thank you to the blue lady as he approached the front doors.

Climbing the stairs he looked around, he couldn't help but compare the path he took to her apartment to the path he was taking to the real Max. To see clearly the glimpses he'd caught of everything inside. He noted the relatively clean walls, free of graffiti or defacing and vandalizing unlike nearly every building in Seattle including his. Only a layer of dust coated the hallways and handrails, untouched and undisturbed.

He reached the top floor and headed down towards the only door holding his breath, for a reason even beyond him. Walking in silence down the corridor, treading so softly as to not disturb the peace that seemed to hover inside. His hand reached out turning the knob and pushing the door open, not without trouble.

The hinges were rusted and unused causing Alec to push decisively harder to finally open it and close it behind. A small surprised look flitted across his face at the interior as he let his eyes flutter over the room.

Unlike the tidy corridors the walls were covered inch by inch in a tide of colors and words and pictures messily styled upon the smooth surface. Spray paint cans, used and new, lay on the floor scattered about. Even the floor was layered in scribbles and swirling designs. Still in a daze he softly set Max onto the couch, never taking his eyes away from the intricate symbols.

The ceiling was a stark white in comparison and the furniture was decent enough, simple and untouched. Worn and comfortable, the loud contrasts in the apartment somehow making it feel right.

"Soothing isn't it?" she said quietly, a studious expression on her face.

Twirling round to look back at her a smile stretched his lips and he laughed, "Yeah," he nodded ruffling his own hair, "Weirdly so but yeah. I'll have to get your decorator's number."

Max smiled lost in thoughts of the man in front of her; so identical in feature to Ben yet completely different in character. Her head tilted softly as she stared at him in marvel. Alec was impetuous, strong willed, but a look of forgotten fun was never too far from him. Like he'd lost his ability to enjoy himself.

Realizing she'd been staring her eyes skittered away but his words brought her gaze back to his face; "Suits you to a T."

Check your pulse it's proof that you're not listening to

Eyes locked in an intricate dance of swirling irises, their minds churned alike.

As he looked at her sitting on the couch, legs curled up beneath her and laying her weight onto the side arm the song he'd been humming before floated back to his mind. He'd heard Cindy singing along to it one day in her room when she'd thought she was by herself.

John Mayer was some pre-pulse singer he'd never heard of. He'd hassled her nonetheless as it was a serious difference from her usual music but he'd been sworn to secrecy.

The call your life's been issuing you

His sister had been silent, thoughtful and obedient, to Manticore and the Blue Lady from their childhood. She'd never gotten into a fight on her own will. Max was different; cheeky and in your face, she was the queen of spontaneity. Alec didn't know if that's how she'd always been but it was something he desperately wanted to know.

For the second time in his life, his body mind and soul ached to know what made the woman in front of him who she was.

The rhythm of a line of idle days

With Cyd it had been so easy to know the short story. She'd been traveling by herself since she'd been 10 or 11; Alec didn't need to guess why she hadn't changed in character all that much. Unlike him or Jesse who had spent time in one place, made friends, made a life; Cyd had always been moving, never stopping and smelling the roses.

Scared of a world outside you should go explore

He sat down on the armchair rather than the couch, giving her the space he thought she wanted, the distance he believed she needed and missed the flash of disappointment.

He leant his elbows on his knees leaning forward and sighed stretching his neck side-to-side trying to get rid of the kinks, "Am I allowed to know?"

His words once again surprised her and she blinked confused for a moment, "Are you allowed to know what?" she asked in curiosity, "The meaning of the words and pictures and symbols scribbled all over your apartment for one."

Pull all the shades and wander the great indoors

Max shrugged uncomfortably but before she could reply Alec continued, "Tell me about Manticore, about Psy-Ops."

The great indoors

Stone like features replaced the softer ones she'd worn, "They're not things that should be repeated. It's not something anyone will ever tell you about at the drop of a hat. There's a million and one things we endured; because of your unit, because of our DNA and because of our 'mistakes'."

Alec looked away ashamed, for the first time, of ever having escaped, "I wanna know what I caused you," he said, "I need to know what we caused. Why you hate me," he muttered.

"I never said I hated you. It was the other way around remember?" Max accused, "Sure just like every other 09' out there you're a higher-than-thou asshole but I don't hate you. Envy maybe, but envious of your escape not anything else. I never hated you, not even your sister."

Lamplight makes the shadows play

A quick thought over what other 09ners she might have met entered his mind before he shrugged it off. His eyes watched his own hands play with the hem of the navy shirt he wore and at the ascent of emotion he clenched his eyes to block the images resurfacing fresh in his mind as if it had just happened.

"Since we're knee deep in painful subjects. Tell me about her, about Sam," Max asked in genuine sincerity.

Alec looked up concentrating on a spot on the wall, letting his eyes follow the words and contours on the walls, "When we were kids, back at Manticore, she always wanted answers for everything. You know? Why we were there, what was outside. So she would make up these fantastic stories to explain things. Somehow it made us feel...loved. Like we weren't all alone."

Surprising even himself in how easy he was talking about it he paused and locked eyes with her once again but his gaze was unsteady and it wavered, "Sounds like a nice kid. What went wrong?"

And posters take the walls away
The T.V. is your windowpane

Her brow furrowed in sincere curiosity and Alec found himself continuing, "After the escape we all split up, moved around a lot always covering our tracks. In Manticore we'd been kept away from many things but out here, it was like there were too many things in this world she didn't have answers for."

Flashback

Running through the forest, hunting, searching for the convict. Sam leading them towards the man.

"I don't know. She just...lost it," he finished. He could still remember that day as clear as yesterday, the way their eyes had glinted, the adrenaline and the rush. The metallic, coppery taste of blood in his mouth and the sticky feel of it staining his gray sweat suit.

The view won't let you down

His knee bounced up and down nervously and he sprung to his feet pacing back and forth in front of the windows unable to look at her. Talking about it was hard enough, telling someone who looked exactly like Sam didn't make it any easier. In his own mind he asked himself why he was even telling her in the first place but he didn't have an answer.

Head turning back to her he didn't have to look to know she was smiling and he watched her in confusion. She hid the smile quickly but pointed to the floor he walked on. Alec grinned reading the words he walked on, 'Pace, pace, pace, peace of mind, pace, pace . . .'

So put your faith in a late night show
I bet you didn't even know

It was with regret that she found herself asking the next question but she needed to know. She knew that the man in front of her must hold some of the answers to what she needed to know and the only thing she repented was the emotional pain her questions would no doubt cause him.

"How did Sam die?" she spoke softly almost afraid of his reaction, of his answer. Did she really want to know?

Shock, guilt and disbelief swam in his eyes, "They didn't tell you?!"

Despite his thoughts on his childhood home Alec had thought they'd at least have the decency to tell her exactly how her twin died. Obviously not.

Depends on how far out you go
The channel numbers change

His heart was in his throat and he swallowed hard with no effect. His eyes closed and her face popped up in his mind. The way she'd looked as he'd held her in his arms, the sound of the helicopters. She'd looked every bit the 9 yr old sister he'd remembered. The same curious look was in her eyes but now buried in realization and terror.

Fear of Manticore, the nomlies and fear of herself.

"We were in the woods. She'd gotten hurt. Manticore was closing in on us. She didn't want to go back there," he strained out biting his tongue at the feel of the life being squeezed out of his heart.

Scared of a world outside you should go explore

"Reindoctrination. Or worse," Alec could only imagine what the worse was. He'd heard tales and stories and from the way her eyes had seemed to flicker in fright and understanding, had him wondering whether he really wanted to know what had happened to her.

"I killed her," he didn't miss the dumbfounded look on her face, "She asked me to, so I did. And then I ran. I saved myself. And I just left her body there for them to take away."

The crack in his voice had been unavoidable but he resisted letting the tears fall leaving his eyes shiny with near overflowing moisture.

Pull all the shades and wander the great indoors

Max didn't have a clue on what to say, what to do, to give him the comfort he seemed to need. How does one comfort a long time escaped genetically enhanced human weapon?

Booze.

Lifting an amber liquid filled bottle and two glasses from under the couch she set it on the coffee table and looked at him expectantly, "Tissues are harder to come by. Me and Jondy make do with this." Alec didn't hesitate in dropping into the couch next to her, close enough that her feet – as she lay on her side, arms propped up on the armrest – were brushing against his thigh.

Though lately I can't blame you

Pouring the smooth sloshing liquid into 2 glasses she handed one to him and raised her own in a small toast and acknowledgement, "We really shouldn't drink considering but what's the point in owning superior metabolisms if you cant indulge yourself," she said swallowing the searing solution letting it swoosh down her throat.

Alec followed en suit, smacking his lips at the sensation, emptying his glass in one go and immediately giving it to her to refill.

I have seen the world

Silence fell returning once again; it hung with unanswered question and unsolved and untold stories of horrors and human cruelty.

"I never hated your sister," she repeated softly and her dwelling thoughts on it sparked his curiosity once more as he waited for her to continue, "Not even when I went to Psy-Ops twice because of her."

She stilled, a remembering look upon her face, "Did you have a dream Alec? I mean, when I was shot and I passed out… did you dream anything that night?"

And sometimes wish your room had room for two

Slightly taken aback at the quick change of subject he could only nod for a few seconds before he regained his voice, "Yeah I did."

A strange expression he couldn't decipher fell on her brow and he watched in awe as she turned her body and laid her head onto his chest leaning into him and pushing him down till he lay with his head on a cushion. Her body melded into his quickly finding a comfortable position.

So go unlock the door
And find what you are here for

His fingers idly toyed with a strand of her hair as he mused over what had just happened in confusion. He'd wanted to find out about her and in the end he'd told her about him, about Sam and what was most perplexing was that it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Max could hear his heartbeat thump evenly in his chest as drowsiness and exhaustion started claiming her, "I'm sorry about Sam Alec. It was the best choice you could have taken, the merciful thing to do," she managed to slur.

She wasn't ready to talk of anything to do with her yet, Max didn't know if she'd ever be ready, in this lifetime or the next, but somehow tonight she'd come closer than ever before.

Leave the great indoors
Please leave the great indoors

The lids to her eyes, weighed down by sleepiness, closed shut and Alec listened to her breath even out and as he floated out of consciousness right behind her the song played once again in his mind but this time he sang it out loud in a deep hushed tone and he watched Max involuntarily shiver, "Check your pulse it's proof that you're not listening to. The call your life's been issuing you. The rhythm of a line of idle days."