TITLE: Dear Annie ("Acquisition")
AUTHOR: Mara Greengrass
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL: fishfolk@ix.netcom.com. Feedback is better than chocolate.
PERMISSION TO ARCHIVE: Yes, just let me know.
CATEGORY: Gen
RATINGS/WARNINGS: G
PAIRING: Tu/S
SUMMARY: Hoshi writes home after the events of "Acquisition."
DISCLAIMER: Enterprise and all its crew belong to Paramount and many other entities with expensive lawyers. I am making no profit from this story.
NOTES: Okay, I'm probably veering off canon here, but how could I resist writing this? Especially since TPTB won't, because they seem to start each episode with a clean slate, character-wise. And yes, I *could* have written a thoughtful and interesting letter about the deleterious effects of greed, but I didn't. Nyah nyah. Ferengi do not inspire profundity. As always, thanks to Captain Average for the beta.
DEDICATION: This letter is dedicated to the amazing and wonderful Josephine for convincing Trip to let her use the transporters long enough to get me a tape of this episode. May the universe provide you as much Trip-in-boxers as you want.
* * * * *
Dear Annie,
Just when I think I've gotten the hang of this space travel thing, everything goes wonky. And, before you ask, on the Enterprise, wonky *is* a technical term. And this time...wow, I'm not sure wonky covers the full magnitude of Trip's behavior, let alone the aliens. I hope you've got some free time, because this is a long story, even with lots of irrelevant bits cut out.
Once again I missed all the really exciting parts of our latest adventure, which, in this case, may be a good thing, since I'm neither the fastest nor the best shot on the ship. I slept through the excitement, in fact. Literally. These dreadful greedy little aliens tricked Trip into bringing on board an artifact that released some kind of knock-out gas. Since he was in the decon chamber, he stayed awake while the rest of us (except poor little Porthos) were out cold. (This may be a lesson to us about picking up strange and apparently abandoned artifacts.)
And while we were unconscious, who knows what the aliens were doing to us. I know I was moved off the bridge. Ick, it makes my skin crawl. Mainly, though, they were looting the ship of anything of any potential value.
The really strange thing was how vague Jon and Trip were about certain events. (Oh, I forgot to mention the aliens woke the Captain up to ask where our storage vault was, and Trip managed to wake up T'Pol. Trip says he tried to wake me up next, and T'Pol backs him up. No, that's not the really strange part, I'm getting there.)
So, I read the Captain's report and it was pretty clear how the three of them befuddled and confused and tricked these aliens. Except for one part, where he says that he and Trip were captured and Trip convinced them all to walk into a trap.
Somehow, he never quite explains *how* they got them to go. I was curious, so I asked Trip about it. Instead of a straight answer, he got the strangest look on his face and said, and I quote, "The Cap'n and I pretended to argue, and they bought it."
Since that was essentially all the report to Starfleet said, I asked what they argued over and he said, "Oh, over the most valuable item on the ship." Then, engineering conveniently called him away to check on repairs to the warp injector.
Well, you know me, incapable of leaving a mystery alone. I figured it was probably something silly, but it's not like those two to be evasive, so I couldn't resist picking at it.
I tried the Captain, but he politely referred me to the official report and Trip, and Trip was up to his neck in putting the ship back together.
T'Pol considered my question for a few long moments, then pointed out she was engaged in setting the trap while the two of them were with the aliens. "However," she told me, "I can tell you this species was most interested in acquiring two things: gold-pressed latinum and female members of the crew to sell in a slave market. In fact, I overheard the Captain attempting to convince them that I was not interesting enough to take."
You can just imagine my jaw dropping at that, can't you? Somehow, the Captain left that out of his public report, although perhaps it's in the classified sections. Well, at that point, I was *really* curious about what happened when T'Pol wasn't there.
I took a day to ponder, then I had a good idea. The Captain really only confides in Trip, but Trip sometimes talks to one other person: Malcolm. The two of them have become friendly since they were trapped in that shuttle together. It's not all sweetness and light, but they've found common ground.
And since Malcolm's also head of security, it seemed like they might have discussed the events in detail, right?
So, I tracked down our intrepid armory officer, and cornered him in the empty messhall last night. To make a long discussion short, I finally got the story out of him. I think he'd been dying to tell me, but he cherishes the firm belief that he is not a gossip.
Okay, we've finally reached the wonky part. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Don't say I didn't warn you.
Trip and the Captain needed to fake a fight over something, so Trip accused the Captain of not caring about the crew. Since these aliens were going to take us to sell at a slave market, Trip said they couldn't have his wife. One of the aliens who'd taken a shine to T'Pol was rather alarmed *she* might be Trip's wife, but Trip said, no, his wife's name was Hoshi.
Malcolm really enjoyed watching my reaction. I was actually speechless, if you can imagine such a thing; speechless for a good two or three minutes. My jaw moved, but nothing came out.
Why me? There are a couple dozen women on Enterprise, and the alien even asked if T'Pol was his wife, and he could have just said yes. But at that moment, with weapons pointed at him, he thought of *me*.
The two of them staged a fight over how much gold I was worth--I couldn't bear to ask what the answer was--and Trip told the aliens they could take our gold as long as he got to keep his wife. I mean, keep me.
It was all play-acting, though, right? I asked Malcolm that, and the man had the gall to say "You'll have to ask Trip, won't you?" I think he is enjoying the results of this whole situation entirely too much, between getting to surprise me, and the Captain *finally* listening to him about implementing more security, especially around away missions.
Then, Malcolm left me sitting in the messhall staring out at the stars, trying to figure out how I'm feeling about this. It was just a gimmick, wasn't it? Something to distract the aliens? But Trip told me they were arguing over the most valuable item on the ship. He must have meant the female crewmembers. Not me. Right?
I shouldn't be feeling so...so warm and fuzzy about this. Especially since Trip's been avoiding me since then. Every time he sees me, he gets the same funny look and runs in the other direction. I think Malcolm told him I know what happened.
I can't believe how flummoxed I am over this. I wasn't even thinking about Trip in that way! Sure, we spend time together and he's a lot of fun, but he's not my type. You know that. I like guys like Malcolm, quiet and sensitive, a little shy.
But Malcolm doesn't seem terribly devastated over this (more like amused), so he can't have been mooning over me. I don't know that he stirs any strong emotions in me, either. But he's restful, which Trip most assuredly is not.
So--I ask my old friend who knows me better than anyone in the universe--why am I spending half my free time analyzing the behavior of the man I wasn't interested in while he was under duress? Have I just developed some strange form of claustrophobia? Space sickness? Temporary insanity?
Okay, I really need to go get dressed, my shift begins in half an hour. Love to everyone (especially Amanda).
Love,
Hoshi
AUTHOR: Mara Greengrass
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL: fishfolk@ix.netcom.com. Feedback is better than chocolate.
PERMISSION TO ARCHIVE: Yes, just let me know.
CATEGORY: Gen
RATINGS/WARNINGS: G
PAIRING: Tu/S
SUMMARY: Hoshi writes home after the events of "Acquisition."
DISCLAIMER: Enterprise and all its crew belong to Paramount and many other entities with expensive lawyers. I am making no profit from this story.
NOTES: Okay, I'm probably veering off canon here, but how could I resist writing this? Especially since TPTB won't, because they seem to start each episode with a clean slate, character-wise. And yes, I *could* have written a thoughtful and interesting letter about the deleterious effects of greed, but I didn't. Nyah nyah. Ferengi do not inspire profundity. As always, thanks to Captain Average for the beta.
DEDICATION: This letter is dedicated to the amazing and wonderful Josephine for convincing Trip to let her use the transporters long enough to get me a tape of this episode. May the universe provide you as much Trip-in-boxers as you want.
* * * * *
Dear Annie,
Just when I think I've gotten the hang of this space travel thing, everything goes wonky. And, before you ask, on the Enterprise, wonky *is* a technical term. And this time...wow, I'm not sure wonky covers the full magnitude of Trip's behavior, let alone the aliens. I hope you've got some free time, because this is a long story, even with lots of irrelevant bits cut out.
Once again I missed all the really exciting parts of our latest adventure, which, in this case, may be a good thing, since I'm neither the fastest nor the best shot on the ship. I slept through the excitement, in fact. Literally. These dreadful greedy little aliens tricked Trip into bringing on board an artifact that released some kind of knock-out gas. Since he was in the decon chamber, he stayed awake while the rest of us (except poor little Porthos) were out cold. (This may be a lesson to us about picking up strange and apparently abandoned artifacts.)
And while we were unconscious, who knows what the aliens were doing to us. I know I was moved off the bridge. Ick, it makes my skin crawl. Mainly, though, they were looting the ship of anything of any potential value.
The really strange thing was how vague Jon and Trip were about certain events. (Oh, I forgot to mention the aliens woke the Captain up to ask where our storage vault was, and Trip managed to wake up T'Pol. Trip says he tried to wake me up next, and T'Pol backs him up. No, that's not the really strange part, I'm getting there.)
So, I read the Captain's report and it was pretty clear how the three of them befuddled and confused and tricked these aliens. Except for one part, where he says that he and Trip were captured and Trip convinced them all to walk into a trap.
Somehow, he never quite explains *how* they got them to go. I was curious, so I asked Trip about it. Instead of a straight answer, he got the strangest look on his face and said, and I quote, "The Cap'n and I pretended to argue, and they bought it."
Since that was essentially all the report to Starfleet said, I asked what they argued over and he said, "Oh, over the most valuable item on the ship." Then, engineering conveniently called him away to check on repairs to the warp injector.
Well, you know me, incapable of leaving a mystery alone. I figured it was probably something silly, but it's not like those two to be evasive, so I couldn't resist picking at it.
I tried the Captain, but he politely referred me to the official report and Trip, and Trip was up to his neck in putting the ship back together.
T'Pol considered my question for a few long moments, then pointed out she was engaged in setting the trap while the two of them were with the aliens. "However," she told me, "I can tell you this species was most interested in acquiring two things: gold-pressed latinum and female members of the crew to sell in a slave market. In fact, I overheard the Captain attempting to convince them that I was not interesting enough to take."
You can just imagine my jaw dropping at that, can't you? Somehow, the Captain left that out of his public report, although perhaps it's in the classified sections. Well, at that point, I was *really* curious about what happened when T'Pol wasn't there.
I took a day to ponder, then I had a good idea. The Captain really only confides in Trip, but Trip sometimes talks to one other person: Malcolm. The two of them have become friendly since they were trapped in that shuttle together. It's not all sweetness and light, but they've found common ground.
And since Malcolm's also head of security, it seemed like they might have discussed the events in detail, right?
So, I tracked down our intrepid armory officer, and cornered him in the empty messhall last night. To make a long discussion short, I finally got the story out of him. I think he'd been dying to tell me, but he cherishes the firm belief that he is not a gossip.
Okay, we've finally reached the wonky part. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Don't say I didn't warn you.
Trip and the Captain needed to fake a fight over something, so Trip accused the Captain of not caring about the crew. Since these aliens were going to take us to sell at a slave market, Trip said they couldn't have his wife. One of the aliens who'd taken a shine to T'Pol was rather alarmed *she* might be Trip's wife, but Trip said, no, his wife's name was Hoshi.
Malcolm really enjoyed watching my reaction. I was actually speechless, if you can imagine such a thing; speechless for a good two or three minutes. My jaw moved, but nothing came out.
Why me? There are a couple dozen women on Enterprise, and the alien even asked if T'Pol was his wife, and he could have just said yes. But at that moment, with weapons pointed at him, he thought of *me*.
The two of them staged a fight over how much gold I was worth--I couldn't bear to ask what the answer was--and Trip told the aliens they could take our gold as long as he got to keep his wife. I mean, keep me.
It was all play-acting, though, right? I asked Malcolm that, and the man had the gall to say "You'll have to ask Trip, won't you?" I think he is enjoying the results of this whole situation entirely too much, between getting to surprise me, and the Captain *finally* listening to him about implementing more security, especially around away missions.
Then, Malcolm left me sitting in the messhall staring out at the stars, trying to figure out how I'm feeling about this. It was just a gimmick, wasn't it? Something to distract the aliens? But Trip told me they were arguing over the most valuable item on the ship. He must have meant the female crewmembers. Not me. Right?
I shouldn't be feeling so...so warm and fuzzy about this. Especially since Trip's been avoiding me since then. Every time he sees me, he gets the same funny look and runs in the other direction. I think Malcolm told him I know what happened.
I can't believe how flummoxed I am over this. I wasn't even thinking about Trip in that way! Sure, we spend time together and he's a lot of fun, but he's not my type. You know that. I like guys like Malcolm, quiet and sensitive, a little shy.
But Malcolm doesn't seem terribly devastated over this (more like amused), so he can't have been mooning over me. I don't know that he stirs any strong emotions in me, either. But he's restful, which Trip most assuredly is not.
So--I ask my old friend who knows me better than anyone in the universe--why am I spending half my free time analyzing the behavior of the man I wasn't interested in while he was under duress? Have I just developed some strange form of claustrophobia? Space sickness? Temporary insanity?
Okay, I really need to go get dressed, my shift begins in half an hour. Love to everyone (especially Amanda).
Love,
Hoshi