Well, I hope everyone is still enjoying -- thank you so much for the reviews for the last part! I'm sorry there isn't B/S yet if that's what you can't wait to read, but I can't rush right into any Spuffyness...we've got to get through some of Spike's story first.
Never Gave Up, part 4/?
By: Rachel
See Part One for all the author notes and disclaimer.
~*~*~*~
Pain...
More pain...
Oh, bloody hell, where am I?
It hurt to move, hurt to even think, but Spike managed to pry one eyelid open, groaning as he did so. "Uhh...where am I?" he whispered hoarsely.
Angel, who was sitting in a chair at the other end of the bed, immediately rose to his feet and walked up to Spike. "Spike? You're finally awake."
"Angelus?" Spike bleakly muttered.
"Yeah, Spike, it's Angel," he answered. "You're in LA, at the hospital."
"Wh...what?"
"Whatever happened left you beat up pretty badly. You had a lot of internal bleeding," Angel began to explain. "But the doctors think you're going to be all right."
Spike swallowed, his tongue feeling thick on the roof of his mouth, feeling as though he was unable to talk correctly. "W -- Won?"
Angel shrugged. "That's what I was hoping you could tell me. Do you remember what happened?" When Spike didn't answer, he tried again. "Did you see Buffy make it out okay?"
Suddenly, Spike jumped up, groaning aloud when he felt an intense wave of pain course through him. He struggled through the tangled wires and hoses strapped around him, trying to get free. "Buffy!" he shouted.
"Spike!" Angel cried out, grabbing onto his shoulders and pushing him back onto the bed. "You're going to hurt yourself even more if you keep this up."
"No, I have to get to her," he said. "Tell her...tell her I'm...I'm sorry I -- I didn't believe."
Believe what? Angel asked himself. "We'll find her," He assured him, trying to get Spike to calm down. "Don't worry, we'll find her."
"God, I'm so...stupid." Spike swallowed thickly again. "I...It hurts..."
"I know," Angel said apologetically. "Just rest, and we can talk about it later, all right?"
"Okay..." Spike murmured. He closed his eyes and turned his head away from Angel, slowly drifting out of consciousness once again.
Angel sat back in his chair, looking over at his grand-childe as he grimaced in his sleep.
Only one thought ran through the vampire's mind: what the hell happened to him?!
~~~
After that conversation with Angel, it was another few days before Spike was fully conscious and aware of what was going on around him. During that time, Angel remained by Spike's bedside in case he awoke suddenly and could explain what happened in Sunnydale. Meanwhile, Lorne, Fred and Gunn continued moving their head quarters from the Hyperion to the offices inside Wolfram and Hart while Wesley and Lilah were trying to translate the rest of the Prophecy of Aberjian.
"So, you're telling me that somehow I turned human... and it's a possibility that this bloody amulet is the thing that did it to me?" Spike asked, staring at Angel with a disbelieving look on his face. His bed had been raised so he could sit up and talk to Angel without feeling much pain and a plate of lunch had been set in front of him a few minutes ago, which he had yet to touch.
"Something like that," Angel answered, shrugging his shoulders up and down, hoping he wouldn't have to talk about the Prophecy.
"Well, bloody hell," Spike muttered. "If I had known *that* was suppose to happen, I would have let you do it."
Angel's eyebrows raised. "You don't want to be human?"
'Hell no," Spike grumbled. "I liked being a vampire just fine."
"So, can you tell me what happened?" Angel asked.
"No."
Angel groaned and ran a hand through his hair, agitated by his childe's immature attitude. "Look, Spike, can we just put the past aside for once? Stop acting like a twelve year old child and answer me."
"Fine," Spike spat out. "Want the Spark Notes version? Big battle. Lots of death, lots of vampires. I put on the amulet, said a bloody charm, destroyed the vampires, got buried in the process, and the next thing I know, I'm climbing out from underneath a pile of rubble," Spike explained.
Angel sighed. Always has to be difficult, doesn't he? "Couldn't you be a bit more specific?" He requested, trying to get Spike to answer truthfully. "Like what happened with you and Buffy?"
Spike shook his head before looking away from Angel. "No. *That* is none of your bloody business."
Angel could tell from the look on Spike's face that this was Spike's way of trying to announced that this part of the conversation had come to a close. Angel cleared his throat before continuing. "Actually, we don't think it was the amulet that changed you...well, not directly, anyway."
"Really?" Spike poked at the mysterious lump of food on the plate before him before looking back up at the vampire. "So what was it then?"
"A prophecy," Angel reluctantly answered.
Angel didn't want to admit that the prophecy was possibly -- probably -- meant for Spike. That meant loosing the only dream of a peaceful future and redemption he had left. However, the more Wesley and Lilah translated, the more it looked as if the Prophecy of Aberjian was meant for the annoying bleached-blonde haired man lying in bed in front of him.
Damn those Powers That Be.
"Bloody hell," Spike cursed. "They're writing prophecies about me now?"
"Looks like," Angel said. "Wes hasn't gotten the whole thing translated, but the Cliff notes version is that a vampire with a soul will regain his humanity after the apocalypse and the end of days."
"Sounds like what I went through," Spike acknowledged. "So...I'm a bloody human, breathing and alive. What the hell do I do next?"
Angel stood and walked closer towards the ex-vampire. "Whatever you want to do, Spike. We're not sure if this is what's happening, so when you get out of the hospital, you should probably stick around and see what happens, if anything."
"When can I get out of here?"
"Doctors don't know," Angel answered. "They are still worried about your internal bleeding and bruises."
"I see..." Spike lowered his eyes and looked around the room, disbelief clear on his face. Here I am, sitting in a hospital bed with the Poofer across from me, and I'm dressed in a bloody hospital gown!
"Has...has anyone from Sunnydale called you?" Spike asked, looking back up. "Any news from Rupert or Buffy?"
"No. No one has heard from her since I saw her last," Angel explained. "That's why I was hoping you could fill me in on whatever happened that night. You must have been one of the last people there to ever see her."
"Look, I said that I don't want to talk about that," Spike warned.
"Spike..."
Spike looked away, his determination to not speak to Angel about what happened beginning to waver. When he didn't hear any sign of Angel leaving, he finally spoke. "Fine...you want to know what the hell happened?" Spike began, his voice soft but cold and distant. "We fought a damn army of Turok-Hans -- it was a bloody hard fight...lost girls everywhere...had casualties." He turned his head back around to look at Angel now. "Then, we managed to get our way to the seal. I charged in there with the amulet around my neck and Buffy right behind me."
"So Buffy *was* with you?"
"Yes, she was. I said the magic incantation, got the power of the amulet started, and presto! -- this bright light came out," Spike explained, closing his eyes to picture the scene all over again. "Red said it destroyed all the Turok-Hans outside. We had won...but then everything started shaking...falling apart, and the light wouldn't stop shining.
"So, I told Buffy to get out...that this was her chance for that normal life she had always been denied of but wanted," Spike continued. "But she refused...stupid bint, she was actually going to stay and die with me..." He opened his eyes, now glistening with tears, and looked up at Angel. "She made it out, though. I managed to get her out before the building collapsed."
"And that was it?"
"No, you bloody wanker," Spike replied. "She...she said she loved me -- God, I'll never forget the look in her eyes as she said it...and I...I didn't believe her, or at least that's what I had to make her believe." He let out an emotionless chuckle full of regret as he thought back to what they last shared words had been...
"I need to tell you, Spike.…..I never got the chance to tell you, with every…Spike, I need to tell you that...I love you."
"You don't need to tell me something like that just because I'm the one saving the world."
Spike shrugged as he continued speaking. "I was bloody stupid, but I just...I just couldn't think about what she said right then...I had to make sure she got out of there alive. Had to get her out safe. Only problem now is she's out there somewhere believing that I didn't believe *her*, which, of course, is a bloody lie."
My God... Angel thought to himself. He had known that Buffy and Spike had gone through some type of a relationship together -- just how dark it was, however, was unknown to him. Buffy told him that Spike genuinely loved her, that he was in her heart and that he was very important to her.
But *that * important? Angel found that hard to believe. After all, it was *Spike* of all people.
"She kissed me...said she loved me a couple times, and ran out, with tears streaming down her soft cheeks," Spike explained, feeling one tear of his own trail down his cheek. "So now you know, she got out fine, assuming she made it out of Sunnydale past that point."
"So that's when...?"
"That's when everything went dark. I woke up...who knows how much time had passed, but I woke up and I was breathing." Spike sighed. "Bloody hell, I still can't believe I'm human."
"Well, you'd better get used to it," Angel pointed out.
Spike sighed and lowered the bed, his little strength already giving out. "I'm going to get some sleep now," he announced.
Angel stood, saying, "All right." he started heading towards the doorway before turning back around. "I'll keep you updated on when you can get out of here. Maybe it'll just be a few days more."
"All right," Spike replied. "And Angel?"
Angel turned around, a look of surprise and curiosity on his face. It was the first time in many years that Spike had actually called him by his real name without sarcasm or fury in his tone. "Yes?"
"Thanks," Spike said, a look of gratitude for saving him, taking him to the hospital, and helping him clear in his expression. Spike's one word said everything.
"You're welcome, m'boy," Angel answered with a smirk on his face before closing the door behind him.
~~~
Over the past few days after leaving Sunnydale in ruins, Buffy and the gang had set out on returning the surviving potentials -- now Slayers, back to their homes before worrying about what they would do next. Vi and Rhona were the first two that left, the two young women determined to keep fighting the good fight in their home town as long as possible while also keeping an eye out for any other possible Slayers.
The other girls made their way back home, confronting their confused, angry, and questioning parents about where they had been for the past months and giving tearful farewells to their other family that had trained and protected them during that time.
As the bus made its way across the country, the number of people on board became less and less until it was down to a select few: the original gang, a few of the slayers from China or India that would have to return home by airplane, and Kennedy, who would go where ever Willow went.
"So, was that the last one?" Buffy asked, after walking back onto the bus and sitting in one of the seats in the back. Please tell me it is, she thought. All Buffy wanted to do was check into a hotel for the night and take a nice, hot, bubble bath with a Sarah McLachlan CD playing in the background as she cried away all her tears, finally letting out all her anger and mourning for her lost lover.
She had placed up emotional walls just minutes after leaving, letting everyone else around her think that Spike's death meant nothing to her, but as the days went by, Buffy wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it up.
"Looks like," Faith replied, looking around at the small group made up of Buffy, Willow, Xander, Robin, Dawn, Kennedy and herself.
"So, what's next?" Dawn asked, looking at her older sister.
Buffy shook her head, not knowing what to say. She had a future ahead of her now -- a future that could possibly be demon-free. What could she say about that? "I -- honestly, I don't know. I haven't had a chance to really think about it the last few days, we've been so busy."
And that much was true. She had been so busy helping everyone return home safely that she hadn't been able to sit down by herself for very long, which was good since that kept her from thinking about certain things.
Things like Spike.
Things like Spike's death. What he had told her seconds before said death...
"I need to tell you, Spike.…..I never got the chance to tell you, with every…Spike, I need to tell you that...I love you."
"You don't need to tell me something like that just because I'm the one saving the world."
No, Buffy, there's nothing good thinking about that again, she told herself, trying to concentrate on the conversation around her instead of her memories.
"Then maybe you should start thinking about it, B," Faith said. "Gotta whole world out there waitin'."
"We still have Chao-Ahn and a few of the others to drop off," Kennedy reminded everyone, nodding to the back of the bus where the remaining Slayers along with Andrew, were sleeping. "So, we still have some time to figure everything out."
Giles, who had been driving the bus for the last few hours, pulled into a gas station that was located at the end of the street and turned the engine off to talk to everyone else.
"Well, I have an idea that I've been thinking about for the last couple of days," began Giles, after clearing his throat and walking back to where everyone else was sitting. "With all the newly discovered and activated Slayers and the potentials back in their home states now, I've decided that I would like to restart the Watcher's Council -- begin again with a fresh start and get rid of some of the old and out-dated rules that Travers used to follow."
"That sounds like a great idea," Willow exclaimed, happy that Giles, at least, was trying to move on.
"Of course, that'd mean moving back to England again," he continued. "But since the hell-mouth is closed, that shouldn't be a problem. I can send a Slayer to the Hellmouth in Cleveland." Maybe Kennedy, he thought, remembering how well she had defended herself in Sunnydale. And, of course, that'd mean Willow would go as well, and a Hellmouth can always use a powerful Wiccan.
Faith jokingly shoved him, "Man, can't you just let us rest for a few days before giving us a new assignment? Seriously, now."
"It is a good idea, Mr. Giles," Robin Wood agreed before running his hand down Faith's back. He saw her smile at him before he patted her side and released his grip on her. "Maybe you could use some help over there?"
"What do you mean?" Giles asked.
"Yeah, what *do* you mean," repeated Faith, looking over at him with worry in her brow.
"I'm just saying...my mother was a Slayer, so I know a lot about training, weapons -- you name it," Wood began. "I know I don't have the English accent or the stylish tweed suits that all Watchers seem to have, but, I don't know...maybe I could be a Watcher."
Giles thought about it for a second before nodding slowly. He resisted the urge to take off his glasses and clean them when he asked, "And I'm assuming that you'd, uh...you'd like to watch over...F -- Faith?"
Robin looked over at the brunette by his side. "What do you think? You could be the first official Slayer over there in England." With me, he silently added.
Faith tossed the idea back and forth in her mind for a second. Did she really want to continue slaying, continue on that road to redemption like Angel had wanted her to? Take a chance with Robin and actually have a watcher again? But, damn girl, it's Robin Wood! she told herself. "If you go, I'll go, babe," she said with a grin on her face.
Buffy looked over at her sister-in-slaying and smiled. After everything she had gone through, Faith deserved some happiness. At least one Slayer will be happy, she thought regretfully.
"So, we're all splitting up already?" Xander asked, never one to say goodbye to his friends. "Just like that?" He had been hoping that they'd all settle down in another town all close together where they would live permanently.
"Hang on there, Xander," Buffy interrupted. "We don't know what we're doing yet, either. We're homeless, broke, and have no idea where to go."
"What about Dad, Buffy?" Dawn asked.
Buffy rolled her eyes, saying, "Last thing I heard from him was that he was somewhere in Asia with his secretary's sister."
"Then what about Angel?" Faith questioned. "He'd probably help you out."
Buffy didn't say anything for a minute, wondering if it would help to call Angel or not. The two had separated on fairly good terms, leaving things wide open for a future together, a future together that she didn't want -- not with him, anyway. Would it even help to call him?
"I -- I don't know," she began. "I don't want to bother him, and--"
"Oh, c'mon, B," Faith interrupted. "He won't mind. Now just get your butt off this bus and go call him."
A few minutes later, Buffy stood in front of the pay phone outside the gas station with the receiver in her hand and the thirty-five cents in the other. "Okay, just call him," she whispered to herself.
She pushed in the quarter and dime and punched in his number. It rang a couple times and then clicked -- as if someone had picked up the phone.
"Angel?" she hurriedly asked.
But Angel wasn't the one answering.
Instead, the only voice she heard was the female voice of a computer that told her, "We're sorry, this line has been disconnected. Your call could not be placed."
~~~
TBC...
So, Buffy and Spike are pretty much miserable right now and, to make things worse, she's lost contact with Angel -- the only person who knows that Spike is actually alive! What's going to happen next? Keep reading and find out! Please review :)