ON A DARK & STORMY NIGHT
CHAPTER 3: FACE TO FACE
** **
Spike had been fighting his double for a few minutes. The bugger even had his moves. But that also meant he could use that against him. After all this was the Spike of about 90 years ago. He was stronger now and a far better fighter.
He kicked him in the ribs and watched him fly through the banister of the staircase. Wood splinters flew around and he quickly grabbed a big sharp chunk. He smashed into his other self's face, pinned him against the wall and drove the wood into his chest. The vampire looked at him for a second before his face turned to dust.
Spike swallowed for a moment, feeling he was watching his own death in a way, but shook it off.
"There, ya soddin...," he mumbled.
"Tha's right," he heard next to him. He turned and saw another one. This time his counterpart looked pretty much as he was now, including the bleached hair, the black clothes and the duster. Or maybe more how he was when he had just arrived in Sunnydale. His hair appeared to be slicked back a little tighter, for one.
"Stupid bugger deserved that," the new Spike said. "But then he had a bit of a point. First you're a bleedin' wimp, then a Big Bad, and now.. Tell me mate, what exactly are you nowadays?"
Spike growled under his breath. "Sick of this now. Especially of all the yapping! Think I'll just kill you straight away."
With that he jumped forward and drove the stake into his new double's chest. He instantly dusted like before, these apparitions apparently going along with their vampire imitation even down to their weaknesses, but even while that cloud was still swirling, Spike heard a movement behind him.
And he saw another one.
Looking just the same, talking on where the other left off.
Barely even missed a beat.
He just looked Spike over and shrugged. "Hey, just sayin'.... At first it was the chip that put a crimp in your much beloved lifestyle, but by now? If you didn't have it, would you really be acting much differently than you have for the past few months?"
Spike faltered a little, more because the words he heard than because of the knowledge that fighting clearly wasn't doing much anyway. His double continued. "Let's face it, you're bending over backwards to impress the little lady left and right. When she found out about your feelings, she practically spat in your face, saying you were a monster. You said you had changed. She didn't believe you. Not until you nearly got killed by Glory. That made her see you in a different light. And then later you *really* save the day. And she accepts you, grows used to having you around as.....what, a friend? A pal? A Slaying-Buddy?"
Spike opened his mouth to reply but his double interrupted. "And I suppose you're hoping that by going on this way, you'll maybe get promoted to Slaying-Buddy-with-Benefits?? That it?"
Spike growled. "She's beginning to see me.....as more than a monster. She could...."
"Could what?" His double lit a cigarette and looked at him, not really mocking, more earnestly asking. "........grow to love you?"
Spike's jaw clenched. "She loved a vamp before."
His double shook his head. "Ohh, don't go there. Bad idea. You know what the next line is going to be. What HER line would be...."
Spike looked to the side. He didn't want to say it. Something which his double clearly was aware of.
"Hey, either you say it or I. But we're both already thinking it. Maybe you should try and see if you even can say it out loud. And include his name. Let's see if you can pull that off without going nuts."
Spike looked back at him, grinding his teeth but keeping his calm. "Fine...'Angel had a soul'," he said as calmly as he could.
His double smiled. "Ohh, nice. How'd that feel? Harder or easier than you thought?"
Spike didn't answer.
His double continued. "Well, it's the truth. And she believes it makes all the difference even if you don't. And really, are you SO sure you've changed? If you lost the chip today, had it out right NOW....would you really not fall back into your old lifestyle? And don't get me wrong, I'm like you, genuinely wondering. Because you've adapted just fine, haven't you?"
"Like hell!" Spike snarled. "Damn thing is a pest!"
His double blew out some smoke and shook his head.
"No, only when you face humans. Only the notion that you are defenseless against certain things. When Riley or Xander grabbed you, trying to intimidate you. THAT'S when it's a pest. Because you could toss them around like poker chips without it and it was humiliating to have to stand there and take it from those gits. Otherwise, you're kinda fine, aren't you? Aren't you really?"
His smile was actually sympathetic and he shook his head as he went on. Spike by now had practically forgotten his whole situation as he stood there and listened.
"Come on, you're getting all your itches scratched and you know it. You hunt, kill and fight almost every night so THAT need is kinda met, innit? And demons make for better fights than humans anyway. So you actually get more action than ever in that department. You never even cared that much for helpless victims. You had your fun with them, but a lot of the time you went with along with whatever Dru wanted to do. What YOU had a taste for was a challenge! A fight! And as for blood..hell, warm cup of it with some burba weed, after a night's hard fighting...then crash with it in your comfy chair in your comfy pad of a crypt watching your favorite shows. No hassles, no worries....and having Buffy come by, either to gab or ask you to come patrolling with her, giving you that ray of light several times a week...almost every night now.......face it mate, you're loving it."
Spike said nothing, but his fists had relaxed completely now.
"So" his double continued, "the question here is again: if you had the chip out. Right now. What would you do? When Dru tossed you that girl in the Bronze, she was already dead, no Buffy around to see it.....and you hesitated. Why?"
Spike tried to shrug.
"No! Don't do that," his counterpart said sternly. "Face it! Why did you do that?"
"Because." Spike said in spite of himself. "I....knew how she would react....Buffy, I mean..if she saw. It would....I was trying to..."
"No, you were wishing you could try to.. Try to woo her. To show her you were worth loving. But you thought you couldn't. So when Dru showed up you tried to fall back into your old life. But it was when you were feeding on that girl and you realized that what Buffy would think if she could see you mattered to you...even if you knew you could get away with it..that's when you felt you really couldn't go back. That the life with Drusilla, your lovely Sire, was indeed a thing of the past. That's when you panicked and got stupid that night."
The fake Spike laughed for a moment. "Damn, mate, if Glory hadn't caught you, Buffy would never have believed your feelings, or your capability of good deeds. You should have thanked the old skank on your bloody knees!"
Spike nodded, slowly. "I know....."
His double tossed the cigarette. "Yeah I know you do. That's why you're hearing this now. Because you do realize this all comes from your own brain, right? Now, remember, the main question is, if you lost the chip now what would you do? How true IS all that stuff you told Buffy? Do you really know yourself?"
He took another drag of the cigarette which was almost gone by now. He pointed to Spike to underline his last points.
"Really mate. Before that amulet arrives, work it out. And stop wasting time by standing here talking to yourself."
With that, he tossed the cigarette on the ground and stamped on it to extinguish it. Spike watched the boot grind it into the wood for a few seconds....until he realized it was his own boot.
He looked up and saw he was alone.
** **
TBC!
CHAPTER 3: FACE TO FACE
** **
Spike had been fighting his double for a few minutes. The bugger even had his moves. But that also meant he could use that against him. After all this was the Spike of about 90 years ago. He was stronger now and a far better fighter.
He kicked him in the ribs and watched him fly through the banister of the staircase. Wood splinters flew around and he quickly grabbed a big sharp chunk. He smashed into his other self's face, pinned him against the wall and drove the wood into his chest. The vampire looked at him for a second before his face turned to dust.
Spike swallowed for a moment, feeling he was watching his own death in a way, but shook it off.
"There, ya soddin...," he mumbled.
"Tha's right," he heard next to him. He turned and saw another one. This time his counterpart looked pretty much as he was now, including the bleached hair, the black clothes and the duster. Or maybe more how he was when he had just arrived in Sunnydale. His hair appeared to be slicked back a little tighter, for one.
"Stupid bugger deserved that," the new Spike said. "But then he had a bit of a point. First you're a bleedin' wimp, then a Big Bad, and now.. Tell me mate, what exactly are you nowadays?"
Spike growled under his breath. "Sick of this now. Especially of all the yapping! Think I'll just kill you straight away."
With that he jumped forward and drove the stake into his new double's chest. He instantly dusted like before, these apparitions apparently going along with their vampire imitation even down to their weaknesses, but even while that cloud was still swirling, Spike heard a movement behind him.
And he saw another one.
Looking just the same, talking on where the other left off.
Barely even missed a beat.
He just looked Spike over and shrugged. "Hey, just sayin'.... At first it was the chip that put a crimp in your much beloved lifestyle, but by now? If you didn't have it, would you really be acting much differently than you have for the past few months?"
Spike faltered a little, more because the words he heard than because of the knowledge that fighting clearly wasn't doing much anyway. His double continued. "Let's face it, you're bending over backwards to impress the little lady left and right. When she found out about your feelings, she practically spat in your face, saying you were a monster. You said you had changed. She didn't believe you. Not until you nearly got killed by Glory. That made her see you in a different light. And then later you *really* save the day. And she accepts you, grows used to having you around as.....what, a friend? A pal? A Slaying-Buddy?"
Spike opened his mouth to reply but his double interrupted. "And I suppose you're hoping that by going on this way, you'll maybe get promoted to Slaying-Buddy-with-Benefits?? That it?"
Spike growled. "She's beginning to see me.....as more than a monster. She could...."
"Could what?" His double lit a cigarette and looked at him, not really mocking, more earnestly asking. "........grow to love you?"
Spike's jaw clenched. "She loved a vamp before."
His double shook his head. "Ohh, don't go there. Bad idea. You know what the next line is going to be. What HER line would be...."
Spike looked to the side. He didn't want to say it. Something which his double clearly was aware of.
"Hey, either you say it or I. But we're both already thinking it. Maybe you should try and see if you even can say it out loud. And include his name. Let's see if you can pull that off without going nuts."
Spike looked back at him, grinding his teeth but keeping his calm. "Fine...'Angel had a soul'," he said as calmly as he could.
His double smiled. "Ohh, nice. How'd that feel? Harder or easier than you thought?"
Spike didn't answer.
His double continued. "Well, it's the truth. And she believes it makes all the difference even if you don't. And really, are you SO sure you've changed? If you lost the chip today, had it out right NOW....would you really not fall back into your old lifestyle? And don't get me wrong, I'm like you, genuinely wondering. Because you've adapted just fine, haven't you?"
"Like hell!" Spike snarled. "Damn thing is a pest!"
His double blew out some smoke and shook his head.
"No, only when you face humans. Only the notion that you are defenseless against certain things. When Riley or Xander grabbed you, trying to intimidate you. THAT'S when it's a pest. Because you could toss them around like poker chips without it and it was humiliating to have to stand there and take it from those gits. Otherwise, you're kinda fine, aren't you? Aren't you really?"
His smile was actually sympathetic and he shook his head as he went on. Spike by now had practically forgotten his whole situation as he stood there and listened.
"Come on, you're getting all your itches scratched and you know it. You hunt, kill and fight almost every night so THAT need is kinda met, innit? And demons make for better fights than humans anyway. So you actually get more action than ever in that department. You never even cared that much for helpless victims. You had your fun with them, but a lot of the time you went with along with whatever Dru wanted to do. What YOU had a taste for was a challenge! A fight! And as for blood..hell, warm cup of it with some burba weed, after a night's hard fighting...then crash with it in your comfy chair in your comfy pad of a crypt watching your favorite shows. No hassles, no worries....and having Buffy come by, either to gab or ask you to come patrolling with her, giving you that ray of light several times a week...almost every night now.......face it mate, you're loving it."
Spike said nothing, but his fists had relaxed completely now.
"So" his double continued, "the question here is again: if you had the chip out. Right now. What would you do? When Dru tossed you that girl in the Bronze, she was already dead, no Buffy around to see it.....and you hesitated. Why?"
Spike tried to shrug.
"No! Don't do that," his counterpart said sternly. "Face it! Why did you do that?"
"Because." Spike said in spite of himself. "I....knew how she would react....Buffy, I mean..if she saw. It would....I was trying to..."
"No, you were wishing you could try to.. Try to woo her. To show her you were worth loving. But you thought you couldn't. So when Dru showed up you tried to fall back into your old life. But it was when you were feeding on that girl and you realized that what Buffy would think if she could see you mattered to you...even if you knew you could get away with it..that's when you felt you really couldn't go back. That the life with Drusilla, your lovely Sire, was indeed a thing of the past. That's when you panicked and got stupid that night."
The fake Spike laughed for a moment. "Damn, mate, if Glory hadn't caught you, Buffy would never have believed your feelings, or your capability of good deeds. You should have thanked the old skank on your bloody knees!"
Spike nodded, slowly. "I know....."
His double tossed the cigarette. "Yeah I know you do. That's why you're hearing this now. Because you do realize this all comes from your own brain, right? Now, remember, the main question is, if you lost the chip now what would you do? How true IS all that stuff you told Buffy? Do you really know yourself?"
He took another drag of the cigarette which was almost gone by now. He pointed to Spike to underline his last points.
"Really mate. Before that amulet arrives, work it out. And stop wasting time by standing here talking to yourself."
With that, he tossed the cigarette on the ground and stamped on it to extinguish it. Spike watched the boot grind it into the wood for a few seconds....until he realized it was his own boot.
He looked up and saw he was alone.
** **
TBC!