TITLE: Dear Annie ("The Expanse")
AUTHOR: Mara Greengrass
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL: fishfolk@ix.netcom.com. Feedback is better than chocolate.
PERMISSION TO ARCHIVE: Yes, just let me know.
CATEGORY: Gen
RATINGS/WARNINGS: G
SUMMARY: Hoshi writes home after the events of "The Expanse."
DISCLAIMER: Enterprise and all its crew belong to Paramount and many other entities with expensive lawyers. I am making no profit from this story.
NOTES: Okay, folks, this is the end of the line for regular additions to this series. I'm tired and I've got a lot of other writing I want to get on with! But let me take this opportunity to thank Captain Average for his patient yet speedy betas of almost every single letter. Cap's kept me grammatical and on track, and often contributed wonderful ideas to these letters. Thanks also to everyone who told me how much they liked the series and how much they wanted to get to meet Annie. Without you folks, there would never have been a series.
* * * * *
Dear Annie,
I'm so glad I got a chance to spend some time with you and the gang and finally meet Amanda. I just wish it hadn't been under such horrible circumstances.
My mother kept begging me to stay on Earth where it was safe, instead of charging off into the Expanse. I tried to be patient, but I kept wanting to yell, "Haven't you seen the pictures? Why do you think Earth is any safer?"
It's still too much to take in, you know--seven million dead, all that land plowed up, turned into a desolate canyon. Some people made pilgrimages there--to mourn the dead, to pray, to stoke their anger--but I couldn't. I couldn't face the reality. The pictures Starfleet sent were more than enough.
Trip went down to look at what used to be his home, where Lizzie was living. It's pretty much a given she's dead, since nobody's heard from her. Malcolm went with him and they both came back grim and focused, but while Malcolm's managed to relax a bit, Trip just gets angrier and angrier. I'm worried.
He lost it at Malcolm in the middle of a corridor even, when Malcolm tried to get him to talk about Lizzie. How's *that* for a role reversal?
Malcolm's been bleeding off his aggression with his new toys--some kind of fancy torpedo--and in the gym, working out with our new military contingent. It feels strange to have them here, especially since it's still unclear where they fall in the hierarchy.
They've been keeping to themselves mostly, sitting together and eating at odd hours, working out together, spending time in their quarters. So far they haven't come to movie night either. I've managed a bit of light conversation with two of the guys, but that's it.
They're rather handsome men, really. Where do they find these guys, I wonder?
Damn. It feels...superficial to think like that. I forget for a few moments why we're heading toward the Delphic Expanse, and pause to admire the looks of Corporal Romero. Then I remember, and I choke up.
Phlox says it's a normal reaction, that even though I didn't lose anyone close to me, just viewing the pictures can cause post-traumatic stress.
I'm so glad he decided to stay on board, it's been great to be able to go down to talk to someone whose planet wasn't just attacked, someone who can be objective about the whole mission. Not to mention someone who always has something wise or comforting or funny to say.
He's kind of my substitute for you, I guess. Keeps me sane in between your letters. A tough job but somebody's gotta do it.
Sure, the guys usually help too. But Malcolm's been busy with our new additions and Travis hasn't had the heart for any good practical jokes and Trip is barely talking to anyone. I'm really worried about him. I said that already, didn't I? It's just...no smiles, no laughter, nothing but work and sleep and alcohol.
And the captain's not much better. I'm not sure he's even noticed how badly off Trip is. I suggested to Trip he might want to speak to Phlox and he said some rather hurtful things I've chosen to ignore. Then I suggested to Phlox that he speak to Trip and he said that Trip needed to acknowledge he needs help first.
Great. It's like a catch-22. Am I just supposed to watch Trip disintegrate? I'll have to think about this problem.
So, we're in the Expanse and things are peaceful right now. Getting in here was another matter, of course. So many things have happened, I can't think where to start.
Oh, I forgot to say that T'Pol elected to stay aboard. We were on our way to drop her off on Vulcan, when the captain came out of his ready room and told Travis to set a course for the Expanse, because we weren't going to Vulcan. I wanted to grin at T'Pol, but figured the gesture would be lost on her.
Then there was the long grind of getting here. The biggest problem was cabin fever, combined with a crew that still hasn't recovered from the attack on Earth. We've got a strange form of survivor's guilt about having been light years away when it happened.
Out of the blue, people say things like, "You know, I was in Florida just before Enterprise's launch," or "My cousin used to live in Venezuela and I visited her every summer."
Somehow it seems like every conversation leads to somebody's sister's husband's old babysitter who hasn't been heard from since That Day. Do people still say it like that on Earth? You know, capital letters as if there've been no other events worth mentioning? Phlox says that's normal too, that we can't stop talking about it, and eventually, it will fade a bit in our memory. I can't wait.
Well, this may be my last letter for a while, since who knows what communications are going to be like from here on out. You take care of yourself and the wonderful woman who's foolish enough to love you, okay? And if you could check in on my parents every once in a while, I'd appreciate it. I hadn't realized how worried they were until this visit, since their letters had seemed so calm.
We're off to find the Xindi. What we'll do when we find them...I can't think about that just yet. I'm torn between what I hope, what I believe, and what I'm afraid of.
Enterprise is out here to represent Earth to the rest of the universe. What we do now may very well affect humanity's place among all the races for generations to come. I'm terrified by the responsibility, but I couldn't possibly have let the ship leave without me, no matter what my mother said.
I'm here with my friends, my family, and we're going to do our best. I guess in the end that's all we can promise.
Take care, Annie. Keep me in your thoughts, as you'll be in mine even if we're out of touch.
Love,
Hoshi
AUTHOR: Mara Greengrass
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL: fishfolk@ix.netcom.com. Feedback is better than chocolate.
PERMISSION TO ARCHIVE: Yes, just let me know.
CATEGORY: Gen
RATINGS/WARNINGS: G
SUMMARY: Hoshi writes home after the events of "The Expanse."
DISCLAIMER: Enterprise and all its crew belong to Paramount and many other entities with expensive lawyers. I am making no profit from this story.
NOTES: Okay, folks, this is the end of the line for regular additions to this series. I'm tired and I've got a lot of other writing I want to get on with! But let me take this opportunity to thank Captain Average for his patient yet speedy betas of almost every single letter. Cap's kept me grammatical and on track, and often contributed wonderful ideas to these letters. Thanks also to everyone who told me how much they liked the series and how much they wanted to get to meet Annie. Without you folks, there would never have been a series.
* * * * *
Dear Annie,
I'm so glad I got a chance to spend some time with you and the gang and finally meet Amanda. I just wish it hadn't been under such horrible circumstances.
My mother kept begging me to stay on Earth where it was safe, instead of charging off into the Expanse. I tried to be patient, but I kept wanting to yell, "Haven't you seen the pictures? Why do you think Earth is any safer?"
It's still too much to take in, you know--seven million dead, all that land plowed up, turned into a desolate canyon. Some people made pilgrimages there--to mourn the dead, to pray, to stoke their anger--but I couldn't. I couldn't face the reality. The pictures Starfleet sent were more than enough.
Trip went down to look at what used to be his home, where Lizzie was living. It's pretty much a given she's dead, since nobody's heard from her. Malcolm went with him and they both came back grim and focused, but while Malcolm's managed to relax a bit, Trip just gets angrier and angrier. I'm worried.
He lost it at Malcolm in the middle of a corridor even, when Malcolm tried to get him to talk about Lizzie. How's *that* for a role reversal?
Malcolm's been bleeding off his aggression with his new toys--some kind of fancy torpedo--and in the gym, working out with our new military contingent. It feels strange to have them here, especially since it's still unclear where they fall in the hierarchy.
They've been keeping to themselves mostly, sitting together and eating at odd hours, working out together, spending time in their quarters. So far they haven't come to movie night either. I've managed a bit of light conversation with two of the guys, but that's it.
They're rather handsome men, really. Where do they find these guys, I wonder?
Damn. It feels...superficial to think like that. I forget for a few moments why we're heading toward the Delphic Expanse, and pause to admire the looks of Corporal Romero. Then I remember, and I choke up.
Phlox says it's a normal reaction, that even though I didn't lose anyone close to me, just viewing the pictures can cause post-traumatic stress.
I'm so glad he decided to stay on board, it's been great to be able to go down to talk to someone whose planet wasn't just attacked, someone who can be objective about the whole mission. Not to mention someone who always has something wise or comforting or funny to say.
He's kind of my substitute for you, I guess. Keeps me sane in between your letters. A tough job but somebody's gotta do it.
Sure, the guys usually help too. But Malcolm's been busy with our new additions and Travis hasn't had the heart for any good practical jokes and Trip is barely talking to anyone. I'm really worried about him. I said that already, didn't I? It's just...no smiles, no laughter, nothing but work and sleep and alcohol.
And the captain's not much better. I'm not sure he's even noticed how badly off Trip is. I suggested to Trip he might want to speak to Phlox and he said some rather hurtful things I've chosen to ignore. Then I suggested to Phlox that he speak to Trip and he said that Trip needed to acknowledge he needs help first.
Great. It's like a catch-22. Am I just supposed to watch Trip disintegrate? I'll have to think about this problem.
So, we're in the Expanse and things are peaceful right now. Getting in here was another matter, of course. So many things have happened, I can't think where to start.
Oh, I forgot to say that T'Pol elected to stay aboard. We were on our way to drop her off on Vulcan, when the captain came out of his ready room and told Travis to set a course for the Expanse, because we weren't going to Vulcan. I wanted to grin at T'Pol, but figured the gesture would be lost on her.
Then there was the long grind of getting here. The biggest problem was cabin fever, combined with a crew that still hasn't recovered from the attack on Earth. We've got a strange form of survivor's guilt about having been light years away when it happened.
Out of the blue, people say things like, "You know, I was in Florida just before Enterprise's launch," or "My cousin used to live in Venezuela and I visited her every summer."
Somehow it seems like every conversation leads to somebody's sister's husband's old babysitter who hasn't been heard from since That Day. Do people still say it like that on Earth? You know, capital letters as if there've been no other events worth mentioning? Phlox says that's normal too, that we can't stop talking about it, and eventually, it will fade a bit in our memory. I can't wait.
Well, this may be my last letter for a while, since who knows what communications are going to be like from here on out. You take care of yourself and the wonderful woman who's foolish enough to love you, okay? And if you could check in on my parents every once in a while, I'd appreciate it. I hadn't realized how worried they were until this visit, since their letters had seemed so calm.
We're off to find the Xindi. What we'll do when we find them...I can't think about that just yet. I'm torn between what I hope, what I believe, and what I'm afraid of.
Enterprise is out here to represent Earth to the rest of the universe. What we do now may very well affect humanity's place among all the races for generations to come. I'm terrified by the responsibility, but I couldn't possibly have let the ship leave without me, no matter what my mother said.
I'm here with my friends, my family, and we're going to do our best. I guess in the end that's all we can promise.
Take care, Annie. Keep me in your thoughts, as you'll be in mine even if we're out of touch.
Love,
Hoshi